Chapter 6

“I’m a little concerned that you’re so chill about this. Wasn’t it you texting and calling me and freaking out a week ago?”

Darcy sighed as she got comfortable on the couch. “I was wrong,” she said simply. “I jumped to conclusions, I guess. Ben’s a good guy, and if you saw his home, you’d realize there are worse places to be stranded. The view out his back door is amazing.”

Anna Shaughnessy chuckled. “Isn’t it all covered in white right now?”

That made Darcy laugh too. “It is, but it doesn’t diminish the beauty. There’s a lake, and the way the snow looks covering the trees… I’m telling you, it’s like something off of a Christmas card. I didn’t think places like this actually existed.”

“So when are you coming home?”

She totally wasn’t ready to leave yet.

Not by a long shot.

“Ben’s house is out in the boonies. We haven’t seen a plow come through yet. I’m not going to look at flights until I know the roads are cleared. But I promise that as soon as I have a seat, I’ll let you know. How’s your mom? Your dad? Everyone good?”

“Everyone’s fine. Bobby’s coming to visit next weekend. Your brother’s thrilled,” she deadpanned.

“I can imagine. Is he staying with you?”

“Uh-huh. He said he wanted to have some quality time with Kaitlyn, but I have a feeling he’s really coming to make sure Quinn is being a good dad.”

“Oh, for crying out loud.” She laughed. “Still? I thought the two of them buried the hatchet? You and Quinn have been together for years now. Isn’t it time for them to stop with the animosity?”

“You would think, but they’ve been this way for too long. Quinn’s already planning on us having a date night and leaving Bobby here to babysit.”

“Yikes.”

“Then I slapped him upside the head for thinking using our daughter as punishment was okay.”

“Not cool. Not cool.”

“Exactly.” Anna sighed. “But back to you. I take it you and Ben are getting along now?”

Squirming on the couch, Darcy cleared her throat. “Um, I think so. I mean yes. Yes. We are.” She shrugged. “I mean, he came and got me in a blizzard and…and he’s letting me stay here, and he’s crazy talented. You should see the furniture he’s made. It’s insane! And you know—”

“Oh my God, you slept with him!” Anna cried excitedly. “Right? Am I right? Oh, I am so totally right!”

“If my brother is anywhere within a ten-mile radius of you right now, I’m going to kill you,” Darcy hissed.

“Relax,” Anna said mildly. “As if I’d say something like that out loud if Quinn was here. Please. You think I want that grief?”

All Darcy could do was groan.

“Sooo,” Anna prompted. “Come on. You have to give details.”

“I am so not giving details. Ever. As a matter of fact, right now, I would welcome a tree crashing through the roof and effectively ending this call.”

“Nice try, but details,” Anna persisted with a giggle.

“Come on. No. Just no.” Shaking her head vigorously, she wished there was a way to get her sister-in-law off the phone.

Anna went quiet for a moment before saying, “Fine. I’ll let this go for now. But when you return, we’re having lunch—alone. I’m not inviting my mom or Zoe or anyone. And you are going to tell me everything.” She let out a girly squeal. “And I’ve seen pictures of Ben. He’s a hottie.”

“Oh my God, you did not just say that!”

Anna let out a slightly devious laugh.

“You’re killing me.” Darcy sighed wearily. “Seriously killing me.”

“It’s what big sisters do,” Anna replied happily.

And that one simple statement made Darcy relax. Anna was now her sister because she was married to Quinn, but they had been sisters long before that.

“So, whatcha doing right now? Thinking about the sexy sculptor?” Anna giggled.

“You are so lame.” Darcy sighed again. “Lame, lame, lame.”

“That’s me,” Anna said. “I have to go. I need to get your niece down for her nap. Stay safe and be careful,” Anna said seriously. “I know this is like a little break from reality. For the both of you. I don’t want you to get hurt.”

Darcy nodded and then realized she’d have to speak. “I’m fine. I promise. And, Anna?”

“Yeah?”

“I love you.”

“Love you too, Darce. Call me when you know when you’ll be home.”

“I will.”

Putting her phone aside, Darcy sat back and let out a long breath.

She looked at the clock on the wall and saw it was almost dinnertime. Whatever it was that Ben was working on, he had been like a man possessed for the last twenty-four hours. She’d barely seen him.

And she missed him, dammit.

She’d eaten dinner alone last night—not a big deal. A sandwich was all she’d made, and then she’d eaten it in the office while she worked some more on the book stuff. It was finished, and they’d emailed the files to the publisher, but she was a stickler for details and just wanted to review the work they’d done. When it was pushing eleven and Ben hadn’t come in, Darcy had decided she was going to call it a day and go to bed. Without him there with her, she hadn’t felt right about getting into his bed, so she went up to the guest room.

Somewhere around two a.m., Ben had crawled in beside her and woken her up with light kisses and caresses before making love to her. It had been slow and sweet and so intimate that it had brought tears to her eyes.

Never before had she been so thankful for the darkness.

When she had woken up this morning, he was gone. He’d come in for lunch, but she could tell he was distracted—grabbing a sandwich and giving her a steamy kiss before leaving again.

Maybe it was time to start looking at going home.

The last thing Darcy wanted was to be in the way. It wasn’t a good feeling, and it was something she’d battled her entire life. With such a big age difference between her and her brothers, Darcy always felt like she was in the way.

Right now, she and Ben were having fun, but he had a job and a career and commitments. There was no way she could expect him to entertain her all day or put his life on hold any more than he already had. So maybe it would be best if she didn’t wait for him to ask her to leave. Maybe it would be better for both of them if she sort of left gracefully, before things got awkward.

God, she would hate if Ben turned to her and asked her to leave. Or told her they were over. Jumping to her feet, she shook her head and willed the tears that were burning her eyes not to fall. No. She didn’t want to think of him saying that to her.

Even though she knew it was inevitable.

“Great. Now I’m depressed,” she murmured. She walked into the kitchen and grabbed a handful of cookies before pouring herself some milk. Taking a bite of one, she grimaced. In her concocting stage, she had made a bourbon maple bacon cookie. Because bacon. Unfortunately, she had used way too much bourbon and realized after that how much she disliked the taste of the drink.

“Ugh, why did we keep these?” she said as she walked over and dropped the cookie in the trash and then went back and did the same with the remainder of the batch. She guzzled the milk as she made her way to Ben’s office to try to get the taste out of her mouth.

At the computer, she began searching flight options. There had been a plow down the road earlier in the day, but the temperatures were in the single digits, so everything was still pretty frozen and slick. As she scanned her options, she made a mental note to look for flights that left in, say, two days. And midday so the sun would be out the entire time Ben was driving. Or maybe she should consider having a car service pick her up or an Uber.

Did they have Uber up here in the mountains?

She’d have to Google that too.

“What are you doing?”

Turning in her seat, Darcy found Ben standing in the doorway. “I didn’t hear you come in,” she said calmly, even though her heart was ready to beat right out of her chest.

Slowly, Ben advanced into the room. He sat on the edge of the desk, blocking her view of the computer. “What’s going on?”

This was not the way she wanted to do this. At all. “Um, I was seeing what the flights were looking like. The roads have been cleared—somewhat—and I know you’re busy with work and…I don’t know…I need to look into getting home. The book stuff is done, and your office is organized and…” She shrugged. “Everyone’s freaking out that I’m still here.”

“Everyone?” he asked levelly, arching a brow at her.

“Pretty much. I’ve talked to Riley and Savannah, my dad, Anna, and that’s not including texts from them plus Aubrey and Brooke.” She shrugged again. “I mean, it’s nice to be missed and all, but I do need to get home.” Darcy couldn’t even look at him as she spoke.

“I see.”

Then he didn’t move or say anything else. It got to the point where it was awkward, and as much as she tried not to, Darcy couldn’t help but squirm in her seat. With nothing left to do, she finally looked up at him, and her heart kicked hard in her chest. The intensity with which Ben was looking at her was overwhelming. Swallowing hard, she cleared her throat. “So, um…”

Ben stood, reached for her hand, and yanked her to her feet. Even when he was aggressive with her, he was always gentle. This time? Not so much. She gasped as her chest hit his, and her eyes flew up to meet his gaze.

“What’s. Going. On?” Ben enunciated each word slowly, his eyes never leaving hers.

“I…I told you…”

“I don’t think so.”

Now she felt a little defensive. Why was he giving her so much grief? He should be happy she was getting out of his way so he could work without worrying about entertaining her.

“Rather than arguing it out in your head,” he said in a low voice, “why don’t you just say it to me?”

Darcy’s eyes narrowed, and she tried to pull away from him, but Ben was having none of it. He banded an arm around her waist and held her close.

“Fine. It’s obvious that you’re busy. You’ve got work to do, and you don’t have to keep normal hours or anything. And honestly? I’m bored. I have nothing to do now that all the work stuff is done. I’ve baked enough cakes and cookies and bread for a dozen people, and now…” She shrugged. “I have nothing left to do. You’re not my babysitter, and I don’t expect you to drop everything to entertain me. The roads are clear, and flights are starting to get back to normal, so…”

“So?”

Why? Just why?

“Look, what is your deal?” she demanded, lightly stomping her foot.

Ben looked mildly amused at her question. “My deal?”

“Yes. Your deal. We both know I have to go home eventually. I don’t know why this is such an issue to you. All I’m doing is—”

“Do you want to leave?” he interrupted.

“What?”

“You heard me.”

“Ben—”

“Answer the question, Darcy. Do you want to leave?”

“I have a job and—”

“Not one you want,” he reminded her.

“And my family needs—”

“To mind their own business. They all have lives of their own and should respect you enough to let you live yours.”

Wow. He totally had a point there, and at any other time, she’d love that, but right now, it was confusing her.

“You’re working and—”

“I’m going to ask you this one more time,” Ben stated firmly. “Do you—”

“No! Okay? No, I don’t want to go! But you’re busy, and I don’t want to be in the way.”

He released her but then immediately took her by the hand and led her from the room. He led her to the back door and then handed her her coat.

“Ben…”

“Just follow me.”

So she did. Out to the workshop, and damn, it was cold. How did people live like this? The temperatures could get pretty low in North Carolina, but not like this. This almost wasn’t livable. It was like being in Antarctica or at the North Pole, for crying out loud. She almost wept with relief when they stepped into the workshop.

The first thing she noticed was that the deer bust was gone. After a minute, she saw it in the corner and that Ben had added some colored stain to it. If anything, it looked even more amazing. She was about to comment on it when Ben pulled her along to the far corner of the shop.

Sitting on a large swath of red silk was a small, intricately carved box.

Darcy looked at Ben questioningly.

“I was inspired the other day,” he said gruffly. “I was thinking about how you, more than anyone I’ve ever met, really understand my work. You look at it, and you don’t just see something that’s visually appealing. You look at it and understand all that goes into making that piece of art happen—my process, the hours of planning and carving and working.” He paused and squeezed her hand. “I thought about that deer bust and how my client will see it, and he’ll love it and he’ll gush, but he has no idea the hours I put into it. The cuts, the blisters, the sweat, the hours of sleep I lost. He won’t even think about those things.”

“But I would,” she said softly, understanding slowly dawning on her.

Ben nodded. “You would.” Turning, he let go of her hand and reached for the box. “I wanted to create something for you. Something you could have and use and…and know I did it for you. Only you.”

Tears instantly filled her eyes as she finally turned and looked at the box. It was small—maybe six inches square—but the details were amazing. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Ben nod, so she reached out and took it from his hand. The wood was as smooth as the silk it had been resting on. And carved into the top was a winter scene, similar to what she saw out his back door from the deck. There was a lake and trees, and he’d used paint and stain to give hints of the snow on the ground and the reflection of it on the water.

Around the sides were probably a hundred different snowflakes. She ran her finger over each and every one of them, simply in awe of how this man had taken the time to create something so incredible, and yet it hadn’t taken him that long. She looked up at him. “How did you do this? You only started—”

His smile was slow and sweet. “Like I said, I was inspired. I started it after you left that first night. At the time, I didn’t realize why I felt the need to create something so delicate. But then yesterday, I thought of you, and this image came to mind. When that happens, I can work fairly quickly. Not that I was rushing it, but once I started, I couldn’t stop. I forced myself to come inside last night. If I had been here alone, I probably would have stayed up all night working on it.”

She sighed. “And that’s what I’m trying to avoid, Ben. I don’t want to interfere with your process. I mean look at this!” She held the box up to him. “I can’t even believe that someone—you—made this with your bare hands. It doesn’t seem possible. And because of me, you did rush and you did stop.”

Taking the box from her hands, he put it back on the silk. “I wanted to stop. I needed to stop. I need to remember to take care of myself. And for the record, I hated that you went to sleep in the guest room last night. I thought we were past that.”

She gave him a bashful smile. “It didn’t seem right to be in your room without you.”

“I want you in my room. In my bed. The thought of finding you there waiting for me was the only thing spurring me home last night.”

Everything in her melted at his words and the huskiness of his tone.

“I don’t want to go,” she whispered.

His hands—those wonderfully large, work-roughened hands—came up and cupped her face. “Good.”

At that moment, Darcy thought for sure Ben would kiss her, the kind of wild and uninhibited kiss that always turned her a little inside out. But he didn’t. Instead, he seemed to be studying her face, with his eyes as well as his hands.

“You’re so beautiful,” he murmured.

Darcy felt herself blush. She’d never seen herself that way. Ever. Her initial reaction was to tell him he was crazy, but she didn’t. Something was happening here. Everything suddenly felt different and yet incredibly familiar. She whispered his name but didn’t know what else to say.

Ben took a step back, reached for the box, and handed it back to her. “Open it.”

Intrigued, she did as he asked and gasped softly. The inside was lined with the red silk he had on the table. There was some sort of padding beneath it to cushion what he’d placed there.

A Christmas ornament. A wooden snowflake that matched the style of the ones on the outside of the box.

“Oh, Ben,” she said with awe as she placed the box on the table and picked up the ornament. “It’s beautiful.” In actuality, it was stunningly fragile. So much so that Darcy was almost afraid to handle it at all. “I love it.”

That seemed to please him more than anything. “My original idea was to do a jewelry box. But as I was working on it, I had an idea about the ornament and thought it would fit nicely inside and could stand as a gift box. Of course, you could use it for whatever you want,” he added quickly.

“This snowflake is so delicate that I think this box is the safest place for it.” She smiled up at him. “And I want you to know, I sort of have a bit of an obsession with Christmas, as you’ve probably figured out, but particularly Christmas ornaments.”

His eyes widened slightly. “Seriously?”

She nodded. “I do. I’ve been collecting them for years.”

Now it was his turn to smile. “What kind do you collect?”

“All kinds. When I travel, I always find a shop that sells ornaments. So I have a decent collection of ornaments from my travels. And I love snowmen, so whenever I see a cute snowman ornament, I buy it.”

“How big is the family Christmas tree?” he asked with a small laugh.

“Oh, I haven’t put any of them on the family tree. My dad is a stickler about the ornaments on that one. I have a little artificial tree that I set up in my bedroom and hang all my ornaments on.” She shrugged. “It’s only about three feet tall, but it’s getting full.”

He nodded.

“Anyway, the family Christmas tree is overflowing already with personalized ornaments of six kids and six grandkids. Plus, I’m a little protective of my collection,” she added sassily. “And I’m going to be particularly protective of my newest addition.” Standing on her tiptoes, she kissed him on the cheek.

“I’m glad you like it,” he said gruffly.

Gently, Darcy put the ornament in the box and put the lid on. How was it possible that Ben could know her so well? They’d never talked about her love of Christmas ornaments.

But it wasn’t just the ornament. It was everything. There was a bond forming between them that ran deep, and yet she felt as if they’d just begun to scratch the surface. The thought of leaving him—even to go home to her family whom she loved more than anything—felt wrong. There was still so much here. How could she just let that go?

Tears stung her eyes. That was another thing that was becoming overwhelming to her—her emotions. She normally only seemed to have two—happy or pissed off. But Ben had her feeling myriad emotions that she had no idea how to handle. Maybe he wanted to get some more work done here in the workshop, and she could have some time at the house to get herself together. But when she allowed herself to turn and look at him, she couldn’t hold back what was on her mind at that exact moment.

“I need you.”

That slow and sexy smile returned. Taking her hand in his, he replied, “I’m yours.”

* * *

For four more days, life was idyllic. There had been another small round of snow, but it had only ensured that Darcy couldn’t leave just yet. Ben couldn’t remember a time when he’d felt so free. Even before his parents’ death, he had been serious and more closed off than the rest of his family. After his parents had died, he knew he had gotten worse. His brothers reminded him of it often enough, but it wasn’t something he’d ever thought he could change.

And then Darcy Shaughnessy had walked into his life.

Taking a sip of his coffee, he looked over to where she stood at the kitchen island stirring some batter. There were enough sweets and baked goods in the house to last him through the winter, and yet she kept baking. She had gone through his basic baking ingredients and had moved on to getting creative.

The results weren’t always good.

Just yesterday, she had come up with three new recipes, and they had waited until after dinner to try them and decide if they were keepers. She had been so excited about the experiment, telling him she had done some research on the use of different spices in cookies and that her first foray into using them included some spicy ones—chili powder, jalapeños, and garlic. Even now, he had to suppress a shudder at the garlic ones, but the other two had been fairly decent.

Either way, it made her happy, so Ben was happy. And as long as they could stay in this little cocoon they’d created, he knew he would stay that way.

He wondered what she planned on baking today. Right now, he smelled bacon, and he hoped it had something to do with lunch and not cookies. After the bourbon cookie disaster the other night, he hoped she’d moved on from that combination. Then he chuckled, because he knew that no matter what, he’d be a good sport and try them and then distract her from making any more for a while.

The idea definitely had merit.

Unfortunately, all good things usually come to an end. It came in the form of a phone call from his brother Jack.

Darcy looked at him as his cell phone rang and clearly saw his frown. “You okay?”

Nodding, Ben stood. “I have to take this. Excuse me.” He waited until he was in his office before he answered. “Hey, Jack. What’s up?”

“Hey! I was calling to see how you were doing. I caught the news of your snowstorm.”

Ben shared with him all the stats about the storm. “Plows are finally coming around, but the temps aren’t budging, so everything’s still pretty much frozen.”

“Were you prepared for it? All stocked up?”

“What do you think?” Ben teased.

Jack laughed. “I know, I know. You’re always prepared. Nothing takes you by surprise.”

If he only knew, Ben thought. “So what about you? How are you doing? How’s the job going?”

“If all goes as planned, I’ll make junior partner by Christmas,” Jack replied proudly. “And I’ll be the youngest one in the firm’s history.”

“That’s awesome, Jack! Congratulations!”

“Yeah, well, I know it’s not a glamorous job—it’s just accounting—but I’m pretty psyched about the whole thing.”

“You should be. I’m proud of you.”

“Thanks, Ben. Really. I wouldn’t even be here if it wasn’t for you.”

Ben hated when they had this conversation. He didn’t want his brother’s gratitude. Helping him finish school was something his parents would have wanted. And he didn’t want to keep rehashing it.

“Nonsense. You got yourself there with hard work and good grades,” Ben said dismissively. “Have you heard from Henry lately?”

“I talked to him last night. We talked about having Christmas here in Boston this year. Donna and I want to host it, since it’s our first one together, and Henry’s on board. He has a week off, and he’s going to spend it here with us. We were hoping you’d do the same.”

Shit.

He sighed wearily as he shifted in his chair. “Jack, we’ve been over this.”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know. But it’s enough, Ben. Seriously. We all understood in the beginning, but enough time has gone by, and…man, don’t make me say it.”

Ben raked a hand through his hair. “Say what?”

“They would hate this. They’d be so disappointed in you,” Jack said, but there wasn’t an ounce of sympathy in his voice. “You can’t spend your whole damn life on that mountain. You work all the time. You don’t go out, you don’t socialize. Hell, when was the last time you even got laid?”

“Look, Christmas isn’t important to me, Jack. And you know what? It’s not a crime. And for your information, as soon as I’m done with the two commissions I’m working on, I plan on taking a lengthy vacation and doing some traveling.”

“Great! Travel your ass here to Boston.”

Damn. He’d stepped right into that one. “Gladly. Just not for Christmas. I promise to come in January or maybe February.”

“Come on,” Jack said with disgust. “You’re going to pull the same crap you do every year. You say you’ll come, but then something comes up—a client, a project, a storm. Dude, I’ve been living here for almost three years, and you haven’t come to see me once.”

“Don’t even,” Ben snapped. “We saw each other three months ago, so don’t be so dramatic.”

“I’d like you to see my home. I’d like you to meet my friends. It’s not that much to ask.”

“I can’t help that my work sometimes gets in the way!”

“Maybe we’ll hop on a plane and come to you for Christmas, and you can host,” Jack said sarcastically. “Then what would you do?”

“I imagine I’d have to sit here and look at your disappointed faces, because there won’t be a tree or a big Christmas goose or whatever the hell it is you make.”

“Come on, Ben.” Jack sighed. “Why?”

“Listen, I have to go. Thanks for checking on me, and I’ll give you a call next week.” He hated being pushed into a corner.

“Fine,” Jack said after a long pause. “We’ll talk next week.”

They said their goodbyes, and Ben had to fight the urge to throw his phone out of frustration. How many times were they going to beat this subject to death? Why couldn’t his brothers accept that he wasn’t going to join in the holiday festivities? He shouldn’t have to keep explaining himself time and time again.

And it pissed him off to no end that his brothers were able to move on. Didn’t they miss their parents? Didn’t their loss mean anything to them? Why was he the only one still grieving?

Above him, he could hear Darcy’s footsteps, and he sighed.

Her constant chatter about the wonders of Christmas were starting to get to him too. Not that she was changing his mind or anything, but he knew it was only a matter of time before he exploded on her—like he’d just done to his brother—about all the reasons why Christmas sucked. No doubt he’d yell, she’d yell, and then she’d look at him with disappointment and possibly disgust. But what was he supposed to do? There was no way he could pretend to give a damn about the holiday when he didn’t. There was no Christmas joy anymore. All that was left was a gaping hole in his life where his parents used to be. How could he ever celebrate that without feeling guilty?

Yes, he had made the snowflake ornament, but at the time, it felt more like a winter decoration and not a Christmas one. It wasn’t a big deal. It didn’t mean anything.

And then he knew he was lying. The truth was, he had a whole collection of ornaments that he’d carved over the years since his parents died. Why? Because it was something he used to do for his mother. She loved them so much, and it was a gift he gave her every year.

And he still did.

He just packed them away and never took them out.

It was crazy, and for the life of him, he had no idea why he kept making them, but he did.

And someday he’d donate them to a hospital or a charity and move on.

His phone beeped with his check email alarm. Since he was sitting at his desk, he decided to check them on the computer instead. The phone was great, but the screen was small and a bit annoying. The twenty-three-inch computer screen made it much easier to navigate around and do his thing.

An email from Henry.

Go figure.

The subject line read “Christmas in Boston,” and the entire body of the email was a list of reasons why Ben needed to be there and the importance of family and supporting Jack and Donna as they start their lives together, blah, blah, blah. And it ended with Stop being such a fucking grinch!

Nice.

It would have been easy to blast off a reply telling his youngest brother to go to hell and leave him alone, but he knew that wasn’t how he felt.

Just how he felt at the moment.

“And I’ll leave this for another day,” he murmured and closed the message. There were a few spam messages that he deleted and one from his editor confirming her receipt of the book files. He muttered a curse as the phone rang again.

Thinking it was one of his brothers, he answered with a curt, “What!”

“Wow! Not quite the greeting I was expecting,” Savannah said with a chuckle. “How are you doing? Is Darcy making you crazy? Is that why you sound so snappish?”

Ben let out a ragged sigh as he raked a hand through his hair. “Nah. She’s not so bad. And she has some serious organizational skills. I let her loose on my office. Well, actually, she let herself loose on my office. I’m benefitting from the results.”

Savannah laughed. “Yeah, she has some serious skill in that department. But why would she organize your office?”

“She was bored, the office was a disaster, and I was out in the workshop,” he said and had to stop himself from thinking about everything that transpired after that.

“Oh, well, good for you,” she said finally.

“So, what’s up?”

“Your editor called to thank me for helping you finish the book.”

He cursed. “Sorry, I forgot to tell her that you weren’t the one doing it. I just saw an email and was about to get back to her.”

“You should. Still, you must be relieved to have it done and off your plate.”

For the next ten minutes, Ben talked about all he and Darcy had accomplished on the project. “It was kind of amazing how just getting the stuff organized and having basic conversation about the pieces helped me.”

“Like I said, she has some serious skill in that area, and I’m so glad she was able to help.”

“Thanks for sending her my way.” He couldn’t help but smile as he thought of all the ways he was thankful.

“I’m glad it all worked out.”

“I am too,” he agreed. “And hopefully I won’t have to think about it again for a while.”

“For a couple of months, I would think,” she commented. “Where’s Darcy at? Has she booked her flight home yet?”

“Um, I don’t think so.”

Savannah was silent for a moment. “Well, that’s odd.”

Ben cleared his throat and shifted in his seat. “Really?” he croaked. “Um, why?”

“Well, flights should be back to normal. So what’s the delay?” Gone was the lightness of a moment ago, and maybe it was Ben’s imagination, but he got the hint of an accusation there.

So he did what he’d been doing for the last few minutes.

He lied.

“It’s kind of my fault.”

“Oh. Really?”

“Uh, yeah. The plows don’t get up here right away, so the roads only got cleared yesterday. And then the temperatures have been brutal, so it’s still pretty slick. I don’t mind driving in the snow up and down the mountain, but ice is another story. So I’m waiting for the roads to be safer. And I’m in the middle of finishing a sculpture, and you know how much I hate to be interrupted while I’m working.”

Silence.

“So, um, yeah. My fault. If you’d like, I’ll talk to her about it tonight and get her flight booked, and then I’ll call you and let you know. Or I’ll let her call you and tell you. Or I can email it to you so you have her itinerary. You know, whatever you want.”

“Ben?”

“Huh?”

“You’re rambling. You never ramble. What’s going on?” She paused. “Oh my God!”

Oh no.

“Oh my God!” she repeated.

Shit. She’d figured it out. How the hell was he supposed to explain himself or ever face Savannah—or Riley—again?

“You threw her out, didn’t you?” Savannah said, interrupting his thoughts. “She totally made you crazy with her chatter and changing your office around, and you kicked her out! Dammit, Ben! I trusted you!” She let out a growl of frustration. “Riley is going to freak out.” Then she cursed. “So where is she? Is she at the hotel where she stayed when she first flew in? Dammit, I know I have the number around here somewhere.”

He wished he could go along with her theory, but he couldn’t.

“I didn’t throw her out, Savannah. I wouldn’t do that.”

“Then I’m confused.”

Join the club.

How the hell was he supposed to explain himself—them—to Savannah?

“Ben?”

“The truth is,” he began slowly, “I don’t know…I kind of like hanging out with her.” He paused. “We have a lot in common.”

Silence.

“I spend so much time working and being alone that it’s been nice having someone to talk to,” he went on. “And Darcy didn’t have anything to rush home to, so I guess there wasn’t any urgency for her to leave.”

“Oh, well, okay,” Savannah replied. “I guess I can see that.”

Crisis averted.

“Can I ask you a favor?” she said hesitantly.

“Anything.”

“Talk to her about her career and her future. Maybe talking with someone who isn’t family will make her feel better. It might be good to talk to someone who has his shit together and isn’t related to her. She won’t look at you as trying to control her or tell her what to do. Maybe you can, you know, guide her. Like you did for your brothers.”

“I don’t think—”

“No! It’s perfect. Trust me. She’s always felt that her brothers were overprotective and that they don’t take her seriously. And most of her friends are, well, they’re young and not focused, and they’re all struggling with finding their way like she is. So someone like you, who’s accomplished so much and helped his siblings in a noncontrolling way, would be the perfect choice. Please.Please say you’ll do it.”

“Savannah, you have no idea what you’re asking.”

“Yes, I do. I trust you, Ben. You’re one of the good guys,” Savannah said confidently. “Sometimes the people who help the most are the ones with the least connection. Does that make sense?”

“I guess, but—”

“She’s already there with you, and you know if she isn’t agreeable to anything you say, she’ll be leaving in a couple of days. C’mon, Ben. Do this for me.”

Sighing, Ben sank lower in his chair.

“Only for you, Savannah,” he said. “You’re the only one I’d do this for.”

“You’re full of it. Deep down, I think you’re a softie. You prefer to look like a hard-ass to the rest of the world. But I know the real you. You should embrace the real you more often.”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah.”

“I have to go. Aislynn’s on the move, and when it gets quiet for too long, I panic. Go and share your wisdom with my girl.”

“I will.” But there wasn’t much power behind his words.

“Ben, promise me you’re going to talk to her.”

“Okay, okay.”

“Say it. Say you promise me,” she prompted.

“I promise, Savannah,” he said softly.

“Thank you.”

“Sure. No problem.”

He hung up, placed the phone on the desk, and heard a sound behind him.

Turning, he saw Darcy standing in the doorway, looking more than a little devastated.

It took all of three seconds for him to realize what she must have heard and how it must have sounded to her.

“Darcy, I—”

She swallowed hard. “I…I’m sorry. I wanted to see if you had something in mind for lunch. I was thinking of making some soup.” She looked away, as if she couldn’t stand to look at him. “But, um, you can let me know when you’re done. Sorry.”

As soon as she turned to walk away, Ben jumped up. “Darcy, wait.” But she was already running up the stairs. He took them two at a time and caught her at the top. “Wait,” he said more emphatically as he reached out and grasped her arms.

“What?” she snapped, her eyes full of defiance.

Hell, he wasn’t even sure what to say. He was about ninety-nine percent certain she was upset because he was talking to Savannah, but what if he was wrong? Did he want to bring that topic up again?

“What’s going on?” he asked instead.

Rolling her eyes, Darcy yanked out of his grasp and gave a mirthless laugh. “Seriously? That’s what you’re asking me?”

Ben raked a hand through his hair and cursed the fact that women needed to come with instruction manuals.

“Look, can we skip the whole dancing around part of this and you tell me what I did that has pissed you off?”

She crossed her arms as she did her best to level him with a glare. “Who said I’m pissed off? I asked you about lunch.” She shrugged. “And I apologized for interrupting you. Why don’t you tell me what has you all riled up?”

Best. Opening. Ever.

Taking a step toward her, he almost smiled when her cocky expression faltered a bit. Good. “I’m riled up because I had to take a phone call from my brother and deal with shit that I don’t want to deal with. I had to listen to the guilt trip about why I should be embracing Christmas, and I don’t want to. It’s bullshit. I hate the holiday. The whole damn thing. And I wish he’d leave me alone about it. And when I thought I was done, I got an email from my other brother, who sent me a list of all the reasons I need to spend Christmas with them and ended it by calling me a grinch. That one I ignored, but it annoyed me.” He took another step toward her as she moved away.

“Then I got an email from my editor about the book. I guess they were tired of waiting to hear from me, because they reached out to Savannah. I had originally told them she would be the one helping me and never notified them it would be you. So she called to let me know they had called to thank her. I took a few minutes to talk to your sister-in-law, who thought I must have thrown you out because you weren’t on your way home yet!” When she started to comment, he stopped her. “And just when I was done with that, when I was looking forward to coming up here and seeing you—you!—you show up and look at me like I killed your dog or something.” He paused. “So is that enough for me to be riled up about, or do you have something to add to it?”

“I made bacon chocolate chip cookies,” she said weakly, and he knew she was trying to change the subject. “I found a small bag of chocolate chips in the back of the pantry.”

Unable to help himself, he muttered a curse as he stepped away from her. Raking a hand through his hair, he didn’t know whether to keep yelling or kiss her.

At least she had the good sense to look mildly ashamed. Her arms dropped to her sides as she grabbed onto one of the kitchen chairs. “Why do you hate Christmas?” she asked softly. She was staring at the floor as she asked, and her whole body had gone from confident and defiant to meek.

It almost made Ben feel bad.

Reaching out, he took her by the hand, led her into the living room, and sat them both on the couch. Darcy rebelled and tried to move away from him, but Ben held firm and kept her close to his side, sliding his arm around her.

“I love my brothers. I really do.” He knew he wasn’t directly answering her question, but at the same time, she needed to know the history behind it.

“But?”

“But they lead very different lives than I do. Jack’s an accountant, and Henry’s an IT guy. They wear suits to work and make conference calls and have 401(k) plans. I don’t particularly understand what they do or how they deal with the nine-to-five thing, but it’s what they love, and I don’t argue it with them. They, however, feel the need to argue with me over how I live.”

“Really? Isn’t what you do the reason they could finish school? And therefore have the careers they love?”

Ben couldn’t help but chuckle. Leave it to Darcy to put it so bluntly.

“Pretty much. And it’s not like they begrudge what I do. They’ve always been very supportive of my career. It’s how I live that they have an issue with.”

“Why do people do that?” she asked. “What gives anyone the right to tell anyone else how to live?”

“Speaking from experience?”

Looking up at him, she gave him a small smile. “Maybe.”

Ben went on to tell her what he and Jack had talked about. “I guess I can understand his frustration, but our parents died two weeks before Christmas. I can’t…I can’t fathom celebrating a holiday that is a direct reminder of losing the two most important people in our lives,” he said with a detachment that he didn’t quite feel. When he’d talked to his brother about this, Ben had been able to talk about it as if he was just stating random facts. But sitting here with Darcy and talking about it? His heart was beating wildly, and he felt sick to his stomach.

“How is it right for us to celebrate?” he asked harshly, letting his emotions take over. “What gives us the right to go on and be happy and…and exchange gifts when they’ll never get to do that again? Maybe my brothers can justify it, but I can’t. My mother used to love Christmas. She loved to decorate and bake and…” He paused. “I can’t do it. I won’t do it.”

This time when she made to move away from him, he let her.

“So you haven’t celebrated Christmas since?”

He nodded again.

“Wow.”

He waited for her to expand on that, but she didn’t.

“That’s it? That’s all you have to say?” he asked when he couldn’t take the silence anymore.

Her shoulders relaxed a bit, and she twisted around so she could face him head-on. “Everyone handles grief in their own way, Ben. It’s not for anyone to tell you—or for you to tell your brothers—how they should do it.”

Well, damn. That kind of made sense.

“My mom died when I was a baby.”

His heart ached for her. Reaching out, he took one of her hands in his and held it.

“I was too young to remember her,” she went on quietly. “My whole life, people have shown me pictures and told me stories about her, but it’s hard to feel a connection to her. I wish I did, but I don’t.” She paused. “My brothers are still struggling with losing her, even after all these years, and they each handle it in different ways. Sometimes I listen to them talk about things they did as a family before I came along, and it makes me feel awkward and alone. Like there was this whole other family that I never got to be a part of. There are times when it really makes me angry, and other times, it’s like I feel nothing.”

“Darcy, I don’t even know what to say.”

She shrugged again. “There’s nothing you can say. You didn’t know,” she said mildly. “Every year on her birthday, the anniversary of her death, holidays, we make this family trip to the cemetery. I put flowers down, but it’s weird to me. I know that I love her. I mean, she’s my mom. But at the same time, how can I love someone I didn’t know? Does that make sense?”

“I honestly don’t know.”

She sighed. “She loved Christmas—everyone who ever met my mom will tell you that—so I know I get that from her. And my love of baking. So there’s a bunch of stuff that we have in common, and people compare us, but it’s like being compared to a distant relative I’ve never met. I get asked if I miss her, and what am I supposed to say? Of course, I miss her. I wish she hadn’t died and left me. I wish I had known her and had her here to guide me and watch me grow up. I love my dad and my brothers, but they don’t get me. I like to think that my mom would have.”

Then he pulled her in close again and held her. He felt her tears through his shirt and wished there was something he could do or say to take away her pain.

“People look at me and think I don’t grieve,” she said, her voice going quiet again. “I don’t cry in front of them. I don’t get sad when I talk about her. At least not most of the time. But that doesn’t mean I don’t feel the loss of her.” She sniffled and curled up closer to him. “Basically what I’m saying is, don’t be so hard on your brothers. Just because they’re not grieving the same way as you doesn’t mean they’re not grieving at all.”

Placing a kiss on the top of her head, he sighed. “Thank you.”

“For what?”

“For putting that in a way I could honestly understand. For so long, I was angry with them and thought I was right to feel that way. You proved to me that my way of thinking isn’t the only way. So thank you.”

“You’re welcome.”

“Are we okay?” he asked carefully.

She sighed again. “I guess we’re both guilty of jumping to conclusions, huh?”

He chuckled and kissed her again. “Clearly, we are much too much alike.”

“No such thing,” she said with a small laugh of her own.

Ben reached down, tucked a finger under her chin, and guided her face up to his. “It’s a good thing, right?”

She nodded. “A very good thing.”

But there was a bit of hesitation, a wariness in her eyes that told him there was still something more to deal with.

“It makes me sad that you don’t think you deserve to celebrate Christmas,” she said softly, her hand caressing his temple. “I don’t think it’s what your parents would want for you.”

Closing his eyes, Ben took a minute to compose his thoughts, because his first instinct was to lash out again. When he opened his eyes and looked at her, he could only state the truth. “It may not be, but it’s what I want for myself. What I need for myself.”

Sadness. Her entire face was one of sadness, and as much as he wanted to take that away, to see her smile and hear her laugh, he knew he couldn’t do it this time. This was who he was, and if he was able to accept it about himself, then she would need to as well.

Maybe the timing was off. Maybe he should wait, but she was so close and so warm and pliant in his arms that Ben couldn’t wait any longer to taste her, to kiss her properly. He was lowering his head when he heard a phone ring in a tone he hadn’t heard before. Darcy instantly moved out of his embrace and stood.

“That’s my dad’s ringtone,” she said as she scurried across the room to get her phone. “Hey, Dad!”

Ben sat and felt mildly frustrated. Not that he begrudged her talking to her family, but he had been looking forward to kissing her and then taking her to bed. Technically, they’d had a fight, and he was completely on board for some makeup sex.

He watched as Darcy paced in the kitchen as she talked. It wasn’t like he was eavesdropping, but she wasn’t particularly quiet either.

“Are you kidding?” she cried happily. “When?” She paused. “That is amazing! Oh my God!”

If he had to guess, he’d say it was good news she was getting, but in a family the size of hers, Ben would be hard-pressed to figure out what the news would be and who it was about.

Darcy squealed happily, and he watched as she did a little shimmy where she was standing. “This is amazing! No, no, no, I’m on it. I’ll see what I can find, and I promise to let you know as soon as I can.” She paused. “No, no, I’ll be sure to call and let them know right away.” Another pause. “I will, I will. Thanks, Dad!”

He didn’t need to hear the other end of the conversation to know what was coming.

She had to leave.

Soon.

This, what they had, was ending. And a lot sooner than he’d thought.

“I love you too,” she said. “I’ll call you as soon as I have a flight. Bye!” Hanging up the phone, she put it on the kitchen table and then skipped back into the living room with a huge smile on her face.

Ben wanted to speak, to say something, but he couldn’t seem to make himself do it.

“So that was my dad,” she said with a big smile, bouncing onto the couch.

“Everything all right?” he asked, hating how tight his throat felt.

“Everything is great. But I have to head home.” She sighed and crawled into his lap. “As much as I want to stay and was hoping for more time, I can’t.”

All Ben could do was nod. Darcy curled around him, hugging him close. He inhaled deeply, loving the way she smelled and knowing he was going to miss her more than he’d ever thought possible.

She kissed his neck, his jaw, and finally reached up and cupped his face as she claimed his lips. The kiss went from soft and sweet to hot and urgent. Ben didn’t want to hear that she was leaving or what her plans were. He didn’t care that her family wanted her home. He wanted to brand her as his—claim her—and make her want to stay.

His arms banded around her as she straddled him. His hands raked into her hair and gripped it tight as she began to grind against him.

It didn’t matter what they had been talking about. Right now, all that mattered was that he keep touching her, kissing her, having her. He was about to carry her to the bedroom when she broke the kiss and rested her forehead against his.

“Damn, Ben,” she said breathlessly.

He knew exactly how she felt.

“I could sit here and kiss you all day,” she admitted, “but I can’t. I need to find a flight home.”

“You’re not planning on leaving today, are you?” he forced himself to ask.

She shook her head. “No. But probably tomorrow.” Lifting her head, she looked at him, and Ben saw the play of emotion there, the conflict. “You have no idea how much I want to stay here with you—at least for a little longer—but I have to go.”

His curiosity got the better of him. “So what’s going on?”

“I got a job interview!” she said with a big grin. “Apparently, I typed one wrong number for my cell phone in the online application, and they couldn’t reach me, so they called my home number. And yes, we’re totally those people who still have a landline. My dad hasn’t moved completely into this century yet. They’ve been trying to reach me for over a week. That must mean they’re really interested in hiring me!”

He smiled, or at least he tried to smile as he continued to listen to her.

“It’s with the media relations department with a large gallery in Charlotte,” she went on. “From everything I got from the ad, it could be a good fit for me. A really good fit—not too far from home, in a big city.”

Ben could see that she was excited, and he wanted to be happy for her—he really did—but…

“It’s amazing, right? Oh my gosh, I can’t believe I typed the wrong number. I mean, I’m usually such a detail-oriented person, and to go and make a stupid mistake like that is crazy. Thank God I had a secondary phone number on the application, or I would have totally missed this opportunity.”

“That’s…that’s great,” he forced himself to say, still feeling a little bitter that a job opportunity had to happen now and mess up his plans.

“And now I feel like a complete doofus because of the whole phone number thing, and I’ve kept them waiting for a week already, so I need to go call them and find a flight.” She climbed off his lap and noticed his reaction—or lack of reaction. “I need to be there. This could be the job I’ve been waiting for.”

“I know.”

She stood and sighed. “I’m sorry. I…I don’t know what else I’m supposed to do. I can’t be in two places at once.”

“I know that too.”

“You can come with me!” she said excitedly. “Seriously, just come home with me. You can meet everyone and—”

“Darcy,” he quickly interrupted as he stood as well. “I can’t go home with you.”

Her expression fell. “Why not?”

Closing the distance between them, he took both of her hands in his and squeezed them. “For starters, I need to finish the work I have out in the shop. Then there’s some new orders I need to start working on. And on top of that, I don’t think your family would appreciate you bringing me home and dealing with me sleeping with you. Probably not the best first impression to make.”

Frowning, she studied him for a moment. “Damn you for being practical.”

He chuckled. “I can’t help it. And believe me, sometimes I don’t like it either.”

This time when she sighed, it had a sad sound to it. “I’m not ready for this to end.”

Thank God she said it, because it was all he could hear in his own head. “I’m not ready for that either.”

“So where does that leave us?”

Refusing to think or to keep up this depressing conversation, Ben moved swiftly and bent to pick her up and throw her over his shoulder.

Darcy squealed excitedly. “Ben! What in the world are you doing?” Then she giggled as he started to walk toward the bedroom. “C’mon! Put me down! Stop!” She was laughing the entire time, so he knew she wasn’t serious.

“We’ll find you a flight. Later.” He strode into the bedroom and kicked the door closed. “Right now, I want us to forget about everything else—our families, our jobs, our obligations, you leaving—all of it.” He maneuvered her until she bounced on the bed, then he crawled over her and covered her body with his.

“Ben.” It was more of a sigh than a complaint.

Immediately, he began kissing her—the sweet spot on her neck that he knew she loved, then downward. His hands snaked up under her sweater, but she was faster than him, whipping it off and away in the blink of an eye.

Her hands raked through his hair, scratching his scalp. “This doesn’t change anything,” she said, breathing heavily.

“I know. But for now, let’s pretend that the rest of the world doesn’t exist. That it’s just you and me.” His mouth latched onto her nipple through the lace of her bra, and Darcy’s back arched off the bed. She purred with delight.

“Yes.”

It was the last thing she said for a very long time.