ALEXANDRA was stuck in an introspective mood. Her father was recovering from an illness that almost took him from her. From the sounds of flirty giggles and soft spoken conversation between him and Rosa, she could hardly believe he was the same man who clung to life a few weeks ago. She smiled as she tiptoed down to the first floor and snuck past the dining room. It felt like when she was a kid, catching her parents kissing again.

She ducked into the living room. The house was practically all her own, the way Dad and Rosa had hidden themselves away in the dining room. She was happy for her father, and maybe a little envious.

Why can’t I find my own hero?

When it came to relationships, she had bad luck. A lot of it had to do with her poor choices. Wilkes was a fine example. She thought he was the total package—nice looking, talented, ambitious, and responsible. He turned out to be a dog. And keeping up this Alex Roberts act was sure to hurt any chances of having anything with Bash.

If she had to describe her ideal relationship, it would be with someone who was just as fun as he was mature; just as spontaneous as he was stable. Of course, the very idea brought Bash to mind. She immediately thought of all the reasons a relationship with him wouldn’t work. First of all, he was gay—with at least a fifty percent certainty. The possibility was dwindling because she really had no idea anymore. Second, all the rest of the reasons didn’t even matter…because he was probably gay. And she wasn’t a guy.

She turned on the television. There was a re-run of a soap opera. Great—a love scene. She rolled her eyes.

God, is everyone having sex except me?

The universe could be so cruel at times. She had gone much longer without it, but it didn’t help that the hot specimen of a man was right next door, and he had been so sweet to her, and she couldn’t have him.

She dropped her head into the pillows of the sofa and let out a muted wail. “Uggghh! I really like him. I want him so bad! Why does he have to be gay?”

“Why what?” Rosa said from behind the sofa. Alexandra jumped with a start.

“Wow, Rosa. When did you get in here? Sorry. I didn’t hear you come in.”

“It’s okay. Your dad is sleeping. He tried to stay up all night last night so we could talk. I convinced him to take a nap now, so we can do dinner together later this evening.”

“Going out?” she asked, alarmed.

“Of course not, dear. We’ll bring the dining table up from the basement tonight. We can all sit and eat together.”

Rosa sat on the sofa. Her lips turn up in a gentle smile. Alexandra sensed a heart-to-heart was on the way.

“We don’t want you to feel excluded, Alexandra. Max and I…well, we sometimes get a little caught up in each other. It doesn’t mean we forget about you, we just…”

“I know, Rosa,” she said, cutting her off. “I’m fine with that. I totally understand. You need your alone time. I don’t mind at all. And I don’t want to intrude.”

“You’re not intruding, dear. You’ve been such a joy to your father, and we love having you here with us. It’s your home.”

“Thanks, Rosa.”

“Actually, I’ve been meaning to talk to you about that. I overheard you this morning. Were you making plans to go back to Los Angeles? Because I hope you’re not leaving because of me.”

“Not at all, Rosa. That’s not it. I have to get back to LA. The work is piling up. Rick’s getting anxious. I hope you and Dad understand. It’s not you guys at all. I just have to go back.”

“I understand,” Rosa replied. She hesitated before asking, “It’s Sebastian Sullivan, isn’t it? You two have a connection.”

“A connection?” Alexandra asked with a nervous laugh. “We’re friends, but I can’t even call it that, because it’s built on pretense. He doesn’t know who I really am. Besides, I can’t stick around in Tucson while Rick is on my back about finishing this album.”

“Why can’t you talk to him?”

“Rosa, you know the deal. I didn’t want the media to find me here.”

“Yes, but you have such an awesome story going now. You’re in France, remember? I doubt anyone suspects you’re here. With the people closest to you, there’s no need for hiding yourself away. Your dad and I know who you are. Why can’t Bash?”

“Well, I can trust you guys. You just never know with other people. Bash is a nice guy, but who knows. If he tells anyone, it could end up getting out. Besides, Bash is much better friends with ‘Alex’ than he’d probably ever be with Alexandra.”

Alexandra had the very same thought as Rosa. She considered telling Bash the truth and getting it over with now, rather than waiting for him to find out some other way—if he ever found out.

She held back because Bash wouldn’t be interested in her as Lexxi. Definitely not the way he was interested in Alex. It was hopeless trying to explain it to Rosa.

Rosa has to know he’s gay, right?

Or, maybe he was in the closet. Either way, she didn’t want to talk to her father’s girlfriend about something that might be Sebastian’s secret.

“It doesn’t matter either way, Rosa. I have to get back to LA where I belong.”

“You still belong here too. I can tell you’re at home here, and we both enjoy having you around. Music is your first love, but that doesn’t mean you can’t find time for other things that make you happy.”

“This will always be home—”

“Take my advice on this, Alexandra.” This time she interrupted Alexandra. “I waited a long time before getting together with your father. When the doctors weren’t sure he would make it, I regretted every second I waited. Don’t make the mistake of doing what you think is best for others at the expense of what’s right for you. That’s all I’m going to say about that.”

Alexandra understood where Rosa was coming from, but she wasn’t ready to open up to Bash.

Rosa left it at that. She got up from the sofa and started to leave the living room. “I’ll get dinner started,” she called over her shoulder. “Why don’t you take off for a bit, and get out of this stuffy old house? You’re so pale. You could use some sun, love.”

She had an idea what Rosa meant. They probably needed one-on-one time in the house.

* * *

“I got kicked out.” Alexandra shuffled her feet, looking down at the ground.

Bash stood at his open front door, arms crossed and a smile on his face. “I doubt that.”

“Okay, maybe I’m exaggerating. Rosa suggested I get out of the house. Apparently I look like I need to get some sun. I figured I’d come see what you’re up to.”

“Come on in.”

She walked casually into the house when Bash stepped aside, and followed him from the foyer after he locked the front door. He was wearing athletic shorts and a sleeveless t-shirt. She couldn’t take her eyes off his tight, firm ass as he led her into his living room. She had to tear her eyes away and force herself to look around the room. It occurred to her she never objectified a man this intensely before.

“I just got back from a friend’s house,” he mentioned. “I’m glad you dropped in.”

“Thanks.”

“Uh-oh,” he said ominously.

“What?”

“You tell me. You sound bummed out. Here, have a seat.”

She sat in the closest armchair and shot him a look. “I know, I know. I’m always going through one thing or another.”

“Would it have anything to do with that ‘crazy’ ex who was blowing up your phone this morning?”

“Wi—Wynona?” She almost said Wilkes’ name. “I’m trying not to think about it.”

“Why? What happened?”

“It was a big mistake. She cheated on me. And now she’s crawling back, asking me to get married.”

He gave her a confused look. “At your age? Twenty one seems a little young to be considering marriage, don’t you think?”

He smiled. Something made her feel he was only teasing. That smile on his face, for one. Bash was the sexiest guy she had ever laid eyes on. The attraction hit her like a ton of bricks. She looked away. There was no help for this magnetic pull. She couldn’t deny it.

Bash has a hold on me.

And we’re destined to fail.

“I might be exaggerating about the marriage part,” she told him, finally meeting his gaze. “It’s not only about the crazy ex thing this time.”

“Then what?”

“I…I booked my flight back home.”

There was genuine shock on his face. “Already?”

“Yeah. My uncle is doing a lot better. Rosa is back too. There’s no reason for me to stay. I’m going to miss…well I’ll miss being here. My boss at work is hounding me about going back there…It’s time for me to get things back on track.”

“Wow.”

“Yeah. That’s why I’m pissed off. I’m not sure what I’ll do next. I have to get back and figure that out. I mean, I have a game plan, and I’ve done okay, but those plans aren’t making me as happy as I want to be. Anyway, enough about that.”

Bash nodded and gave her an odd look. She didn’t know what to make of it.

“I hate to have to do this to you, but you leave me no choice.” He got to his feet, stepping over to the cabinet at the side of his fireplace. He returned and dropped a controller in her lap.

“What? Video games?”

“It’s the perfect cure for days like this. I’m talking full speed racing here…the kind of shit that lets you give the real world the finger, while you get yourself together to take it by the balls later on. That’s what you need.”

She was instantly transported back to her teen years when playing helped her pass the time after music and vocal lessons. She used to feel like such a rebel. She would skip out on her guitar practice time slots or drop her songwriting in the middle of an idea so she could play video games, especially when Dad was at work. She hadn’t played in years, but racing games used to be lots of fun.

“Don’t threaten me with a good time,” she told him, ready for the escape. “I hope you’re not a sore loser, Bash, because I’m about to decimate you.”

She gleefully gripped the controller and got up from the armchair to sit on the sofa facing the TV, tucking her feet beneath her. She looked down at the way she was sitting. This was way too girly. She pulled her legs back out and placed her feet on the floor. Thankfully, Bash was putting the game disc into the console, so he didn’t notice. He grabbed his own controller and sat next to her. Their thighs brushed innocently, and it was enough to send an electric jolt of desire through her entire body.

She didn’t want to move. She watched the game load up, and sneaked glances at him as he went through the game start-up options.

This is it.

This is the come-on.

He’s going to make a play for ‘Alex’.

He’s finally got me alone at his house.

Alexandra remembered that she was the one who invited herself over. She took a second to look at him head to toe, hoping he didn’t notice. His t-shirt tank showed off his tanned skin and rippling biceps.

God, he looks tasty.

He smells so damn good.

They were about to play video games like a couple of buddies.

What the hell is wrong with me?

She moved over on the couch to give the heat pooling between her legs some time to return to normal. It was no use. The minute he looked at her and nudged her with his elbow—and with that grin on his face—she was turned right back on again.

“Ready?” he asked.

She nodded, because she didn’t trust herself to speak. She was ready for something, alright. Her body was ramped up and ready for him, or a cold shower, or anything that could get her out of this. He motioned for her to scroll through the options. They picked their cars from the lineup, boosting them up with extra speed or power. Before long, the distraction helped cool her down, and soon they were ready for the first race.

“Try to keep up, pretty boy,” Bash said while holding his thumb down on the accelerator. She jabbed him in the shoulder. He play-kicked at her ankles, and started the game before she could catch her bearings. She immediately fell behind at his distraction technique.

“Hey!” she shouted.

Racing games were a full body sport. She found herself jerking her elbows up and down, or whipping the controller to the right or left as she went around a bend in the road. She wiggled on the sofa, trying to inch him off the road, but he paused long enough to poke at her controller. Her yellow sports car flipped off the track and exploded in the digital grass.

“Dammit. That was a low blow, Bash.”

“What?” he said, laughing. “Tell me that wasn’t funny.”

“It’s all fun and games until the cheater loses.”

“I was just playing. Come on, I’d never cheat. You wouldn’t have to worry about that with me. I’m as fair and loyal as they come.”

She turned away from the game and looked at him. He wasn’t talking about the race anymore. He didn’t look at her. His car shot across the finish line and he threw his hands up.

“We have a winner!” he yelled. “Don’t worry. This is the warmup lap.”

She shook off the need rising up inside her again. He just said he would never cheat. He was as loyal as they come.

This is freaking insane.

I can’t be falling for him!

“Want a rematch?” he asked.

By now she was staring at him with one raised eyebrow and her mouth slightly open. He looked over at her like he didn’t notice it, so she played along, nodding to the rematch. They geared up for the next race, and she put a little more distance between them on the couch. It didn’t help. It was no use. There was no way to avoid bumping into him at the shoulders, hips, knees, somewhere. Still, she couldn’t stop herself from getting completely lost in the game. Hours passed, and in the back of her head, she was still turning over his comment about loyalty. The stakes were higher now. He had actually gotten bold enough to hint at wanting to date her—‘Alex’.

I’m playing with fire.

One of us is going to get burned.

“Whew!” she said. “This was a great idea, Bash! I think I’ll head back now.”

They had played countless races. They had moved up several levels, and the racing tracks got harder. Her shoulders ached from jerking around. It felt like she had really been driving all this time. It was a blast. This was loads of fun, but she had to pretend she felt nothing, like they were nothing more than two guys hanging out. It was time to leave before any other confessions got thrown around.

“Anytime you need to get away, you know where to find me,” he said.

Bash turned to her and brushed her hair back from her face. They were arm’s length apart. She felt closed in, but didn’t pull away. Their eyes connected. She didn’t know what to say.

“I always have a good time with you,” Bash told her.

“Me too,” she said, clearing her throat.

His eyes darkened for a split second, but they both let the moment pass. He pulled back, arms crossed. “Well, I’m going to miss you when you leave. It was fun hanging with you while you were here, Alex.”

“Same here.”

He straightened up on the sofa. “When are you flying home?”

“Soon.” She couldn’t remember the date, not with him looking at her like that…like they were just friends…like he wasn’t going to miss her one way or another. She rose awkwardly and started toward to the door. “Thanks for having me over, Bash. I’ll find my way out.”

“Hey. Why don’t you leave a phone number for me to stay in touch with you?”

She shrugged. Giving him any contact information would effectively be an admission of her deception. She only had contact details for Lexxi Rock, not Alex Roberts.

“How about an email address?” he tried.

She shook her head. “Sorry, Bash. It’s been cool, but I don’t think it’ll work out. I’m not—I’m not…”

“I meant as friends,” he stated pointedly, rising to his feet too. Bash slid his hands in his pockets as he looked over at her. “I’ve never asked you for more than that. I don’t know why you’d assume I want more.”

“Well…I mean, I thought…I didn’t think...” she was sputtering like a busted car. “What I mean to say is I didn’t assume you wanted more. I’m really bad at keeping in touch. I don’t want to get your hopes up.”