ALEXANDRA trudged back into the house. She mulled over her mixed feelings about what just went down with Bash. Being Alex Roberts was a temporary measure. It worked—and came with consequences and casualties. Bash was an unfortunate casualty. Trying to keep a friendship going with him would only prolong the inevitable.

The smell of roast beef and buttery mashed potatoes assailed her nostrils as she stepped inside. It distracted her from her worries for a fleeting moment. She followed the scent trail to the dining room, where Rosa had brought up the folding card table from the basement. Dad’s hospital bed was turned at an angle to make room for the table. It was already set with plates and cutlery.

“I don’t know if I’ll ever get used to seeing you in men’s clothes, Alexandra,” Dad said when he saw her. “I don’t think it’s working. Your hair’s all grown out.”

She smiled ruefully. “I don’t know, Dad. It looks like it’s working. I’ve been told I’m a pretty-boy.”

“That’s not encouraging, kiddo.”

Rosa entered the room, bringing out the meat on a large serving dish.

“I can help you with that.” Alexandra rushed over to her.

She placed the pot roast in the middle of the small tabletop, and looked up with a smile. “It was no problem, honey. I can handle it.”

“You should have called me to get the table up from the basement.”

Rosa waved her away.

“We wouldn’t dream of interrupting your alone time with Bash,” Dad said, with a wink. His bed was tilted so he could sit up. He looked refreshed from his nap.

Alexandra stared at him, horrified. “Hold on, Daddy. It’s nothing like that. Not even close!” she said, almost too strongly. “Seriously, Bash is just a friend. There’s nothing romantic going on between us. Here, Rosa, let me get the other dishes for you. Keep this comedian busy for me, would you?”

Alexandra rushed to the kitchen to escape their knowing looks. When she returned with the last of the pots, they were sitting at the table, their questioning expressions still in place as though she had hit the pause button when she left.

“Oh, come on you two!”

“What? Old folks are notoriously curious,” Dad said.

“Too curious…and presumptuous too.”

“Seriously, honey. Sebastian is really taken with you, from what Rosa tells me. I hear the two of you have spent a lot of time together over the past few weeks. In my experience, when a guy comes around that often, it’s not just for kicks. Now, I’m not trying to play matchmaker, but I don’t want you to get in the way of your own happiness. That’s exactly what you’re doing here.”

“Dad, if he was coming over to hang out with Alexandra, I’d say you have a point. But he’s not. He comes to hang with ‘Alex’. Your nephew.” Alexandra tried to change the subject before this became a full-fledged dinner-hour topic. “Now can someone please pass the corn on the cob? Mmmm, this smells delish! I can’t believe you whipped this up in the short time I was gone, Rosa.”

Rosa didn’t let up. They were tag-teaming her now. “I was explaining to your father how you and Bash hit it off right from the beginning. You’ve been in disguise the whole time. Max believes Sebastian sees something in you, despite your boyish cover, and I’m inclined to agree.” She turned to Dad. “He was even bringing her home cooked meals for a while, Max.”

“Hey, whose side are you on, Rosa?”

Dad added, “Mark my words, Alexandra. Bash is interested in you.”

“I know,” she said without thinking. She covered her mouth, looking up to see their reactions. “It’s not what you think.”

“Then what is it?” Dad asked.

She couldn’t bring herself to tell them Bash was interested in her because he was gay. They wouldn’t judge him, but it wasn’t her place to tell them. She sighed, shaking her head.

“It doesn’t matter, anyway. I have to get back to LA soon. My flight is booked for some time next week.”

“Did something happen between you and Wilkes?” Dad asked.

She choked on the white wine she was sipping, and turned her face to the side, coughing to catch her breath. “What does that have to do with anything?”

“You tell me. Are you running back to LA to patch things up with him?”

Rolling her eyes, she set aside her wineglass and steepled her fingers above her plate. “I’m going back to LA to finish my next album, and you know I was already working on it. I don’t have time for relationships right now, and especially not with Wilkes Barracks. I’m through with him, for good reason, but that’s neither here nor there. The point is you won’t see me pairing up with anyone right now. I thought you’d be fine with that, Dad. Didn’t you say I should stop playing the damsel in distress? I’m the knight in this story, and I’m saving myself this round. I don’t need Wilkes or Bash to be happy.”

He cleared his throat and started eating. “I never said you needed a man to make you happy,” he grumbled.

Rosa looked back and forth from Dad to Alexandra. She placed her hand on top of his. “Alexandra, I think your father is trying to tell you he’d like to keep you home while he has you. Like I told you earlier, we don’t want you to feel like we’re forcing you to leave. What’s the harm in continuing your friendship with Bash a little longer while you’re here? Can’t the album wait?”

It could. She and Bash could become closer as friends. Feelings could get hurt, hearts could get broken. “I don’t think it can wait any longer, Rosa. Rick has been on me for days now.”

“Is he strong-arming you?” her father asked, concerned.

“Rick is just being Rick. I understand where he’s coming from. The longer I’m away, the less interested fans and the media will be. I’ve been very selfish lately. Rick has put a lot of effort into keeping things afloat while I’ve been here. Listen, don’t worry about me when it comes to finding love. When it’s my time, there won’t be anything than can stop me and the man of my dreams from being together.”

“Oh, but there is,” Dad said, pointing right at her. “I didn’t think I raised a coward, is all.”

“Why would you say that?” Her back was up now.

“Deep down, you already know you have to be honest with Sebastian about what’s going on. You can’t leave him in the dark about your ‘Alex Roberts’ shenanigans. He might surprise you when you tell him the truth, but you’re too chicken to find out…or too irresponsible to reap what you sow. Either way, you’re taking the easy way out, running away like this.” His face softened. “Don’t look so offended, Alexandra. Someone has to dish out the tough love. That’s my job. Look, if you consider him a friend, as you say, he deserves to hear from you why you kept up this act.”

She chewed on her lower lip, accepting the less than gentle reprimand. Dad was right about telling Bash. She couldn’t leave without telling him Alex Roberts was really Lexxi Rock.

“You’re right. I’ll tell him, Dad. First thing in the morning.”

Satisfied with her response, they finally turned the conversation to other subjects. She picked at the meal with barely any awareness of the taste, pushing away her almost untouched plate after Rosa and Dad were finished eating.

She stuck around long enough to help Rosa clear the table, and loaded the dishwasher before taking the card table back to the basement.

“I think I’m going to turn in early, you guys.”

“I have to go as well,” Rosa replied. “I have to leave early in the morning to deliver some papers for your father. I probably won’t be back in the city until around noon.”

“Thanks for making dinner, Rosa. Drive safely.” She turned to her father. “By the way, Dad, the nurse called. She’ll be here in a few to set up the antibiotic drip. You only have another week of this to go.”

“It’s one step closer to being out of this bed.” Dad winked at her. “Goodnight, chickadee.”

“Goodnight, both of you.”

* * *

After shedding her clothes, Alexandra did something she hadn’t done in a while. She stood in front of the full length mirror in her bedroom. She examined herself in the silk pajama top she wore to bed instead of her usual pajamas. LA was such a body-conscious place, femininity had been something she could never take for granted. With such a focus on appearance, there would always be someone more womanly, stunning, sexy, gorgeous, or curvy around the next corner. Other than her purple hair to define her, she had never bothered to compete. Now, with the role she chose to play over the past few weeks, she saw it now, and something more. She was more than her gender, her sexuality, her profession, or her wealth.

That part of her was Alex Roberts.

She couldn’t remove the character as easily as she had shed Lexxi Rock. Alex Roberts, without the clothes, was who she really was. For Lexxi Rock, all she had to do was cut her hair. Now she really only had one person to stop fooling. Confessing to him would be the hardest.

She wondered what Sebastian would think of her like this. Would he recognize the mix of Lexxi and Alex? The playful tomboy who wasn’t always self-assured, who sometimes wanted to hide away from the world? Would he get the part of her that did love the spotlight? Alone in her room, she could admit to being a coward. It was easier to keep things the way they were with Bash. She didn’t have to worry about his feelings—or her own. Friendships were simpler. Relationships were clumsy.

Her chest rose and fell as she took in a deep breath. She noticed the gentle slope of her breasts underneath the sheer dark blue silk top, trimmed with lace. Her waist tapered in from narrow hips, and beneath the hem of the top, her thighs were slender and muscular from regular jogging. That was something she couldn’t wait to get back to—her private gym.

She rifled her hands through her hair, which was longer now, falling around her face. Turning her face side to side, she imagined how he would see her. She moved away from the mirror to the window, drawn to him across the space between their houses. Earlier, she wanted to tell Bash she would miss him. She didn’t say it, to spare his feelings. Now, it was clear she was just protecting herself from being hurt again.

She gazed out the window. It was settled. This was the countdown—the countdown to goodbye, the countdown to telling him who she really was. She would tell him in the morning.

“No sense in waiting to the last minute.”

She pushed her hair back and crawled into bed. It was late. Rosa had already left. The nurse had arrived, and Dad had received his meds. He was sleeping. She was the only one up, and she needed to get her rest too, because she had something important to do in the morning.

I’m going to be honest with Bash.

I’m going to tell him I’m Lexxi Rock.