ALEXANDRA hurriedly changed back into her Alex Roberts gear in Eva’s hotel suite.

“How do you think it went?”

“It went,” Eva answered.

Alexandra frowned, wriggling out of her dress with a yelp. She washed off her makeup and removed her wig as Eva slinked around the suite in a lush robe. Eva made her way over to her, grabbing her shoulders and forcing her to sit down.

“Listen to me, Lexxi. You really fucked up tonight.”

“What? I thought it went well?”

“Sorry for saying this, but are you blind or stupid?”

Alexandra looked up at her, speechless.

Eva continued. “Before I drag you through the coals, let me tell you this. Your firefighter is hot! When you said he was attractive, you didn’t mention he was damned irresistible. Shame on you for keeping that secret from me, woman.”

Alexandra giggled slightly, but she knew that was likely the only good thing Eva was going to say now. “There’s a ‘but’ coming somewhere, isn’t there?”

Eva sat beside her and crossed her legs. “I don’t think you’re giving that man any credit. You can’t flip flop between Lexxi Rock and Alex Roberts that way.”

“I did what you suggested, Eva. I pulled him aside and told him I would explain later.”

“Bravo to you, Lex, but you also sucked him into your lie in front of his friends. The man looked like he was shell-shocked.”

“Well, if he was, he certainly kept his cool better than I expected.”

“There’s no doubt in my mind you offended him tonight.”

“How?”

“Seriously? Didn’t you see him? He could barely look at you. I don’t think he said four words all night. Then you mentioned covering the bill as though he couldn’t possibly afford it…What were you thinking?”

“Was that bad?”

“Of course it was…Before you go back to his place, tell me more about him. Maybe we can figure out how he’s known it was you all along. That’s the only reason he would go along with what you did to him tonight. He’s a firefighter, right?”

“Yes. He’s been off work for the past few weeks with a knee injury.”

“You’ve never actually seen him going to work?”

“No, but he definitely is a firefighter. He saved Dad and me that night the house caught fire, and he knew all the men from the fire department who responded when someone called 9-1-1. I went out with him and a few of them too. He even knew the paramedics. Wait. What are you getting at?”

“I hate to sound paranoid, but I just want you to be sure.”

Alexandra paused, thinking back. She shook her head. “Sure of what?”

“Well, you’re famous, and…you never know, Lex.”

“No, Eva. He’s trustworthy.”

“Unlike someone I know.” Eva squeezes my hand. “He doesn’t have to be a reporter to sell a story. How juicy would that headline be? Lexxi Rock secretly leads double life.”

Alexandra groaned, bending over to pull on her shoes. “Don’t give me this now, Eva. He would never do that. There’s only one conniving person in this friendship, and I’m afraid it’s me.”

She got to her feet and shook her body to loosen up. Bouncing back on her heels, she tried to get back in character as Alex Roberts.

“This should do it,” she said, testing out her lower, more masculine voice.

“What in the hell are you doing? Who is that voice even for now?” Eva marched over to the hotel vanity and passed her a makeup remover wipe.

Alexandra looked in the mirror and flushed. “Crap. I missed a lot of that makeup, didn’t I?”

“Among other things…Lex, darling. You have to talk to him anyway. A proper conversation this time. Find out how long he’s known. Find out his intentions. Do that before you lose a decent guy. You need to be responsible about this. It’s not the same as when you were dating Wilkes and he two-timed you. There’s more at stake.”

“What are you talking about? Bash doesn’t care about money or recognition the way Wilkes did.”

“I wasn’t talking about money this time, Lex. It’s about your heart.”

* * *

Alexandra climbed out of Eva’s limousine after leaving Eva back at the hotel to relax. She sauntered up the walkway to Bash’s front door, bracing herself to knock before she remembered she had the spare key he had given her. She dug it out of her wallet and gazed at it. Having his key was such an intimate detail, something that was usually only exchanged between friends, or lovers.

Sebastian trusts me.

Well, he trusted me.

Sighing, she unlocked the door and walked in. All the nervous energy of the day descended around her. She shivered as she made her way through the quiet, dark house to the only source of light—the blue glow of the muted television. Sebastian was probably waiting in the living room.

She stood at the entrance and waited. She would tell him everything, answer whatever questions he had, and see where that would lead. After tonight, she was sure there was no chance Bash would want to remain friends, let alone anything else. Still, he deserved to hear her reasons, and she deserved any wrath that came in the aftermath of surprising him as Lexxi Rock.

She quietly slipped in the room, and noticed the small sticky note stuck to the TV screen. She walked up to the TV to get it. It read, ‘Alexandra. Turn off the TV. Come up to my room.’

She assumed he wanted her to come up to him because he had mentioned his knee was bothering him again since the fire at Dad’s house. In all honesty, she had no idea why. Finding the remote, she turned off the TV and headed up to his bedroom on the third floor. She hadn’t been up there before. There were only two doors on the landing. One was ajar, and there was barely audible country music coming from inside.

She tapped gently on the door. “Bash? Are you still up?”

“Yes. Come in.”

She took a step inside and looked around the large room. It was dark. The only light came in from the street light outside. It poured in through the half-opened horizontal blinds of two bay windows. From what she made out, there was a king-size bed to her left. Two doors were to her right, which she assumed were his walk-in closet and bathroom. In the middle of the room at the farthest wall was a sofa, two ottomans, a coffee table and a flat screen television mounted on the wall.

Bash looked back at her from his spot on the sofa. “I’m glad to see you made it back safely,” he said with a tired half-smile.

Alexandra cleared her throat, deepening her voice. “Can we talk?”

“Alexandra…” He paused.

“Yes?” She waited for him to speak. A sense of dread tingled down her spine.

Everything will be different after I explain my reasons.

“Just tell me…and cut the crap with that voice.” Sebastian forcefully shoved himself up from the couch and crossed the room to her. “You went about this all wrong, Alexandra,” he whispered heatedly.

Bash cupped her face between his palms, looked her in the eyes and gave her a gentle shake.

“W-what?” she stammered.

She pulled away from him, stepping back to put some distance between them, but Bash didn’t let her retreat. He took a step toward her and gripped her face again.

“Just tell me!” his deep voice boomed out.

“All right! Okay! I’m sorry I didn’t tell you I was Lexxi Rock,” Alexandra all but screamed out.

The panic in her chest became a tight squeeze, and she clenched her eyes shut to avoid his glare. He seemed so angry. This was exactly what she had feared. The intensity of the moment was larger than life because she knew what she had to say, and what he wanted to hear. She thought she could tell him on her own terms, but this wasn’t going well.

She slowly opened her eyes and waited for him to say something in response. He said nothing, so she went with, “I wanted to tell you, but I didn’t know who to trust.”

He glared down at her. “So you throw on a pretty dress and a wig, bring me out into a patio full of people…in front of my friends? You make Alex into a whole other person in front of them, and lie about flying in from France? Who the hell was I spending time with…and are you asking me to lie for you too?”

Alexandra tried to be calm, but the time for calm was over. She didn’t know why, but she burst into tears. The moment was too emotionally charged. Tears slipped soundlessly down her face. They were her admission of guilt. She fully expected Bash to turn and walk away, but instead, he wrapped his arms around her shoulders and pulled her close.

She leaned into him, burying her face in his chest. “It was never supposed to go this far,” she sobbed. “I didn’t mean to hurt you, Bash.”

“Before tonight, I would have believed you,” he whispered. “After that little restaurant game…I just don’t know you, Alexandra.” He walked her over to the couch and sat beside her. “What were you thinking?”

A burst of short, loud inhales broke her sob out of nowhere. She wiped her hand across her face, trying to compose herself. When she could speak again, she told him, “I don’t know if ‘thinking’ is a good word for what I was doing, to be frank.”

“You got that right,” he chuckled.

“Bash, how long have you known? You knew, didn’t you?”

“Yes. Since the beginning.” He shook his head. “You don’t remember me?”

She looked over at him. “What?”

“We went to high school together, Alexandra. I have lived here, right next door to you for most of your childhood. I recognized you the second I laid eyes on you when you got here as Alex.”

Alexandra snapped up to her feet. “Sorry, what?”

She stared at him curiously, rifling through dusty, faded memories of high school.

“Maybe you bumped your head while you were out in Los Angeles, Alexandra. Don’t you remember anything at all about growing up with your neighbors, Mr. and Mrs. Sullivan and their two sons, Samuel and Sebastian? You used to call us Sullivan one and two when you were little. My parents put us in private schools during the elementary school years, so I don’t hold it against you too much if you don’t remember that time, but we went to the same high school, Alexandra.”

A vague picture came to mind. “The boys next door?”

She squinted, trying to connect her memory of the boys who lived next door with Bash. She had a hard time. Even the house was different. Flashes of images came back. “You can’t be that skinny guy…can you? Wait, you’re not serious…Hold on. Did your father have a model train set in the basement?”

“It’s still down there.”

She eyed him curiously, head tilted, eyes squinting as she tried to place him back into the frames of the past that were buried in her mind.

“No…really?”

“Yes.”

“We were all down there one Christmas. My parents brought me over to see that train. They hung out with your parents. I think they all had a toast with wine or something…and I crawled to the inside of the tracks to watch the train go around…with the Sullivan boys.”

Bash nodded. “I was probably eleven.”

“Crap. I haven’t thought about that for a really long time.” She felt the tears welling up again and took a seat. “I don’t know how to explain it, Bash. There’s a lot that I blocked out from before my mother died…and after too. At one point, I didn’t want to remember at all. I didn’t want to feel anymore. All I let in after that was Dad and my music…”

He put an arm over her shoulder, but said nothing.

She looked over at him again. “So, you always knew?”

He nodded slowly and turned to her. Their eyes locked. Eva’s warnings about being careful were unwarranted. Alexandra had known this man almost all her life.

She swept her tongue across suddenly dry lips, and became aware of every tingling nerve ending in her body. Heat rose up to her face as Bash gently wiped a tear from her cheek with the back of his index finger. She noticed each of his eyelashes when he leaned forward, eyelids half-opened. Her eyes fluttered and she took in the incredible sensation of his fingers gliding down her cheek, across her jawline, past her ear, around the back of her neck, and lacing through the hair at the back of her head.

He leaned in more closely, close enough for Alexandra to feel his body heat radiate from his chest, close enough for her body to unravel from just his breath on her skin, close enough for her brain to completely shut down. Suddenly, being this close to Bash made her feel she had been caged up like an animal for all this time, and now he was about to set her free. She wanted his lips on hers, but before he kissed her he moved his lips to her ear.

“Alexandra,” he whispered.

“Yes,” she groaned, already shivering from his breath on her neck.

“This is the only name I will ever call you from now on.”

She moaned from the deep raspy timber in his voice. It was full of confidence. She could tell he was utterly sure of himself. She already loved that voice.

“Okay,” she answered, her voice shaky and trembling from anticipation.

“Is this what you want?”

“God…yes,” she whimpered.

“Are you sure?”

“I want this.”

“Good,” he told her, bringing his voice down to an almost undiscernible baritone that vibrated against her skin, already causing a potent reaction she could feel deep in her womb.

“I want you,” she managed to get out with the breath she had been holding in for far too long.

His fingers tugged gently at her hair, creating a tension that made her tip her chin slightly upward. He was so close now, she could feel the tip of the stubble on his jaw grazing ever so slightly along her cheek.

“I’ve waited so long for this…for you, Alexandra. I want you to know something.”

She could barely form the question to ask what it was. She could barely think, but in her next breath, asked, “Yes?”

He pulled off from her neck and looked her in the eye. “This isn’t a game, I am not saying this to be cocky or arrogant, and I will only tell you this once.”

He paused, staring at her intently, as if looking right through her to her soul, like she already meant everything to him. That’s how she felt. Wanted, special, treasured, cherished, possessed by Bash.

His eyes never left hers, when he said, “I will never lie to you, I will never hurt you, and when I take you, you will never want another man’s hands on you, Alexandra.”

“Oh God,” she cried, already certain it was true.

His grip tightened at the back of her head. It was neither gentle nor rough. It was firm, stable, strong, masculine, present, letting her know without words that he had her, that he was in control in the way she always wanted a man to be, and that she was safe, protected.

“Is this what you want?”

She nodded, holding her breath.

“Say the words.”

Alexandra didn’t hesitate. Bash was everything she had ever wanted. “Take me now, Bash.”

His lips merged with hers, and Alexandra experienced what she had only dreamed about. His mouth was a liquid fire. His tongue dove past her lips to toy with her own, and she sighed into his kiss, surrendering because she was never in control of this. She was paralyzed, with arms drooped to her side, soaking in Bash’s touch, allowing him to own her.

Bash pulled her in closer, and put his other arm around her. Their knees touched, legs repositioning to get even closer. With the feverish need surging within her, she strained at the restriction of sitting. She wanted him down on the floor or over on his bed or Christ, up against a wall. She decided it didn’t matter where he took her.

I want Sebastian Sullivan in every possible way.