They had sex two more times, until both were soaked and exhausted. Cade fell asleep with Lily in his arms, her steady breathing more soothing and powerful than any kind of sleep tricks he’d tried.

For the first time in months, he slept completely through the night. No nightmares, no dreams, just peaceful darkness.

He woke up with the morning sun, and felt unexpectedly light. His face barely hurt from Aiden’s attack, and even after the day before with Lily he felt refreshed.

As Cade looked down, he felt a warmth wash over him. She looked so innocent, so peaceful, in his arms. The little amount of makeup she’d worn yesterday had worn off, and he could make out the faint freckles across her nose and cheeks. Her hands curled in beneath her chin and her lips were slightly parted.

How different this one was than the last couple of times they were together. He still burned with shame when he thought about the first time three years ago.

Even then, he’d felt like a coward when he’d snuck out and left her in his apartment. For four hours, he’d huddled in his car and watched the front door. When it had finally opened, he’d ducked down into the seat. She looked slightly hurt, but more confused than anything else.

I wasn’t even man enough to watch her leave, he remembered.

Instead, he’d distracted himself and scrolled through his phone until he’d heard her get into a taxi.

And the last time they were together? In that little old car of hers? It had been explosive, sheer magic—until he’d fucked it all up. He’d nearly still been inside her when it had all gone to hell.

So what was so different about this time? Is it the fact that at least one of her brothers knows, even if it’s not EJ? Is this what it could be like?

She murmured in her sleep and he stroked her hair.

I won’t make the same mistakes I did before, he promised her and himself. Not if she makes me feel this good. Hell, just for her, I might even get a couch.

“What are you staring at?” she asked, groggy. Lily squinted up at him.

“You,” he said with a smile.

“Hmm. I must look like hell,” she said and nuzzled into his arm.

“Far from it. In fact…” He took Lily’s hand and directed it to his cock. He was already half hard, but her touch brought him to full attention.

“You’re insatiable,” she said with a laugh.

“Only for you.”

She raised her lips to his and he kissed her, slow and deep. Inch by inch, she made her way on top. Lily straddled him, but grasped his hardness in her hands.

She maintained eye contact as she held his length against her clit and rubbed against him.

“Now who’s the tease?” he asked.

“So tell me what you want,” she said. “How am I supposed to know?”

“I want to be inside you.”

She raised up slightly and positioned his tip at her opening.

“Like this?” she asked. She lowered herself so that just an inch was inside her.

“More,” he said, and sucked breath through his teeth.

“Like this?” she asked with a smile, and lowered herself halfway.

“Like this,” he said. With one swift movement, he put his hands on her thighs and forced her down. Lily’s eyes rolled into the back of her head, but she didn’t give in to riding him just yet.

“Tell me what else you want,” she said. He could feel the wetness building in her.

“I want you to rub your clit while you ride me. Slowly,” he instructed.

She started that rhythm, the one that drove him crazy, but it was slower this time. More controlled than last night. Lily looked down and watched as she drove his length in and out of her.

She circled her clit with her middle finger. As he watched her drive herself closer to orgasm, it took all his willpower to not throw her onto her back and have his way with her.

“Look at me,” he said.

Lily lifted her gaze. When her eyes met his, she started to rub her clit harder, but the speed in which she rode him stayed the same.

“Play with your tits now,” he told her. “I’ll take care of this.”

Her hands squeezed and pulled at her breasts while he took over her clit. Lily moaned as she rolled her nipples between her fingers. The wetness from her center coated her clit.

“You like this?” she asked.

“Fuck, yes,” he said.

“Are you going to come in me again?” she asked.

“No.”

“Why not?” Lily stopped, and her fingers still pinched her nipples but she cocked her head.

“Because I want you to come on my face.” She grinned and released him from her center.

As she started to crawl toward him, he grabbed her hips, lifted her and turned her.

“Other way,” he said. Cade lowered her onto his face while Lily encircled his cock with her hand. As her sweet wetness slid across his face, he felt her tongue on his tip.

Cade wrapped his arms around her hips and held her close. Lily rode his mouth, his tongue, like she was desperate for it. At the same time, she took him deep into her throat.

Cade licked at her clit and slid a finger inside her.

“Cade,” she groaned as she released him from her mouth and slid his length between her hands. “I don’t …”

“You’re close,” he said, and flattened his tongue against her clit. He felt the firmness of her G-spot against his hand and slid in a second finger. “I can feel it. Let go.”

“Fuck, Cade, it feels so good,” she said. She fucked his face, his hand, with a new kind of eagerness. Intermittently, he felt her mouth on his cock, but it was mostly her hand—slick with her own saliva. Lily called out his name.

“Come on, baby,” he said from between her thighs. “Come for me. Right here, come on my face.”

“Cade,” she cried out. “I’m going to—this feels different—”

“Come for me,” he demanded, and flicked his tongue light and fast across her clit.

She let out a cry unlike anything before, and a gush of wetness flooded from her. As he came in her hand, Cade parted his lips and drank her in. Above him, Lily’s body shook uncontrollably. When she’d stopped, he kissed and lapped up every last drop of her.

“I don’t know what that was,” she said, breathless and she dismounted him.

“You squirted.”

“I what?”

“It’s good,” he said with a smile. “And I loved it.”

She smiled shyly as she sat beside him. Lily reached for his stream of come that had shot across his stomach. She wiped it up and trailed it along her nipples.

“I have to go to work,” she said.

Cade laughed. “The shower’s all yours.”

“No,” she said, with a shake of her head. “I’m going like this. I want to smell you on me all day.”

Before he could say another word, she stood up and pulled on her jeans.

“You’re serious,” he said.

“I’m always serious.” He watched her finish getting dressed. Lily gave him a light kiss before she left. “Don’t worry,” she said with a smile. “The apron will hide the fact that I don’t have a bra on.”

Cade stayed in bed for an hour after she left until he couldn’t wait any longer. It was another day of therapy. Yet when he got up, he was surprised to find that he didn’t dread it as much as usual.

Maybe it’s finally working, he thought as he hopped in the car and made his way to Dr. Hersh’s office.

“Cade—what happened?” Dr. Hersh asked. His mouth was ajar.

Fuck. How did he know?

“Your face …”

“Oh! Oh, this? Nothing, it, uh, it happened at work.”

Dr. Hersh looked at him carefully. “I work with a lot of firefighters, and I’ve never seen anything like this.”

“Fine,” Cade said with a sigh. “It happened at work, but it was personal. I just… I kind of got into it with one of the guys on the crew.”

He doesn’t need to know that I’ve known the guy forever.

“Cade, I’d like to talk to you today about your anger and where it comes from. This was already on the agenda,” Dr. Hersh said. “It has nothing to do with your face, but I figured it’s a good segue.”

Instead of getting defensive, Cade sat back in the uncomfortable seat and thought.

Where did it come from?

“I’d like to say I didn’t start this fight, and I didn’t participate. Which is why I look like I got the worst of it,” Cade said. Dr. Hersh opened his mouth, but Cade held up a hand. “But that’s an excuse, even if it’s true. So, the anger… I think it came from my father.”

“Your father?” Dr. Hersh said. “This is the first time you’ve mentioned him.”

“I know. My bio dad… he was an angry alcoholic. He beat me and my mom whenever he felt like it. And then eventually, my mom had enough. Or at least that’s what I suspect. She left my dad when I was in foster care. I heard about it through my dad, in this random angry rampage he went on. Tracked me down outside the firehouse when I was about twelve years old, with my friends.”

“That must have been hard,” Dr. Hersh said.

Cade shrugged. “My mom leaving? I guess I wasn’t surprised. And I hadn’t seen her in a long time anyway since I was in the system. So it probably wasn’t as rough as it would be on some other kids.”

“Maybe not as acutely rough, as you put it,” Dr. Hersh said. “But it’s a major trauma for any child. Were you close with your mother? I mean, when you were in her care?”

“I guess,” Cade said. “It’s kind of hard to remember. But she was the only person who protected me from him. At least as best she could. Her and Mr. Hammond.”

“The former captain?” Dr. Hersh asked.

“Yeah. He was my best friend’s dad. He’s why I became a firefighter.”

“And he protected you from your biological father?”

“Yeah. That time when my dad was on a drunk public rampage? He came for me at the firehouse, and Mr. Hammond stopped him. Wouldn’t let him take me.”

“And was there anybody else? Someone else who helped you back then?”

Lily, he realized. She’d been there. She’d held his hand and gave him comfort.

“No,” Cade said quietly. “Just Mr. Hammond.”

“I see. Cade, I’m going to assign you some homework.”

Cade groaned. “Doc, really? Come on, don’t I do enough work here with you?”

“This is different,” Dr. Hersh said. “And I think it will help. I want you to reflect on your anger. Any time you start to get upset, stop and think about it. What caused the anger? How are you feeling? Are there any common incidents that kickstart it? Any similarities? Write everything down and keep it in one notebook. Can you do that?”

“I can try,” Cade said, uncertain.

“Good. And I can give you some strategies to cope with these high-stress times.”

Cade cocked his head. “Like what?”

“Well, whenever you feel angry, I know it sounds silly, but take ten deep breaths. Count them, internally or externally. Give yourself a cool-off period.”

“Real deep, Doc.”

Dr. Hersh smiled.

“It’s clichéd because it works. However, if you’re in a situation you can walk away from, do that. Go on a walk, at least ten minutes. Get outside, get your heart rate up a bit, and notice what’s around you. Again, it’s a cool-off period.”

“Writing in a diary, deep breathing, and walks,” Cade said. “That’s your plan to fix me. You must be a genius.”