Lily slung the light backpack she kept in her trunk off her shoulders. It was one of her favorite resting points on the gentle mountain. She sniffed at the air.

A campfire? At Northgate?

That wasn’t right. The only legal fire areas were down at the barbeque pits, but there was no denying the smell. She focused on steady breathing and climbed up onto the old fallen log that offered the best, but dangerous, view of the surroundings. Lily clung to a sturdy branch and leaned out over the precipice. Below her, flames and black smoke climbed skyward.

“Oh my God,” she said under her breath.

Shit, how could I not notice that? Am I really so all up in my own head that I don’t notice a freaking fire?

She reached for her phone, though she knew it was pointless. There was no service, and hadn’t been for the past two miles. How many times have I hiked this trail?

Lily pressed her hand to her abdomen. Even though her stomach was still taut and flat, she could feel the tiny life that grew inside her.

Move. Move! she commanded herself. There were two options. Descend down the sheer rock face on the opposite side of the mountain, or keep hiking upward.

You couldn’t handle the rock face when you weren’t pregnant, she admonished herself. Lily had only ever known one hiker who could do it, and he was the guy who trained her at the rock climbing gym.

And how high are you going to hike? she asked herself as she pulled the backpack on.

“What happens when I reach the top?” she asked aloud as she started on the switchbacks.

She was tempted to take a shortcut straight up the mountain, but the life that glowed inside her told her to stick to the trails. The last thing you need is to get hurt on top of being stranded.

As Lily picked up her pace, she felt cold sweat pool at the small of her back.

Maybe if I get high enough, there won’t be enough vegetation or oxygen for the fire to survive. She tried to remember all the facts her brothers and Cade had memorized when they were recruits.

What would a firefighter do in this situation? she wondered. Higher it is.

Part of her knew that she was just taking up time. But hiking upward gave her something to think about—something besides Cade. Something besides their baby.

Where the hell are Cade and my brothers? Are they close? God, what if Cade never got the note?

She’d scribbled it quickly and couldn’t remember how well she’d snapped it under the windshield wiper. Maybe it blew away. Maybe some punk kid took it as a joke.

I’m sorry, I take it back. I should have never picked that fight, she thought to herself. Just keep going. Higher. Higher.

A part of Lily wished desperately that she’d run into other hikers. Find some sense of hope. But a bigger part of her hated herself for wishing this on anyone else.

She remembered Elijah always talked about how it was the smoke, not the fire, that usually killed a person. So does that make it a better way to go?

Lily looked back once, but it seemed like the smoke was thicker. Closer.

Don’t turn around, she told herself. As she rounded a switchback, she stumbled over a root that shot out of the ground.

Shit! Already her ankle started to swell. She pushed herself up from the ground, brushed small stones and debris from her palms, and willed herself forward.

What the hell am I supposed to do now that I can’t outrun the fire?

She made it a few more yards before even she could tell she was doing more harm than good. A log along the rim of the trail beckoned to her.

So, what? I’m just supposed to wait here to die?

Lily thought she could see the flames as they reached up the trail toward her, but she couldn’t be certain. The air was so thick with smoke, she wasn’t sure what she was seeing. She pulled her jacket up to cover her mouth and nose and started to cough.

Lily was desperate for oxygen, but with every breath she remembered their baby breathed in the same air. Instead, she took light sips of air through the nose and prayed that it was clean enough.

A crackle filled the air. There was no way to deny it. The flames were visible, and they raced up the trail at a speed she couldn’t have outrun even if she hadn’t messed up her ankle.

Lily slid the backpack off as tears streamed down her face. She couldn’t tell if it was from the smoke, from all the regrets, from the life with Cade and their child she saw falling away, or all three.

She pulled off her jacket and peeled away her sweatshirt to use as a bandana.

Heat rises. Smoke must, too. Lily positioned herself behind the log and lay down flat on a sprawling fern. As she wrapped the sweatshirt around her face as a makeshift mask, she splayed the bright green jacket over her. If they’re looking for me, if anyone’s looking for me, please, God, let them see this.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered into the smoky air.

She didn’t know if it was to Cade, to their baby, or to herself. She’d barely had time to even process the fact that she was pregnant.

And see what you did when you found out? You ran away—just like you always do.

Her head swam with pieced-together thoughts. Lily remembered her mother, and how good that buttery toast tasted at two in the morning while they waited for her dad. She saw Jean-Michel, a perpetual smear of flour across his face.

“Love is never free.”

In the distance, she heard another voice. They all blended together, but this one was soothing, deep and steady. Cade?

Lily forced herself up onto her elbows. She coughed violently into the sweatshirt, but when she tried to remove it, that made it worse.

“Lily!” the voice called in the distance.

“Cade,” she croaked out. She couldn’t make her voice any bigger. “Cade!” she finally managed, from a strength deep inside.

She heard the crunch of boots on hard ground. As the black smoke rose from below her, Lily thought she saw a figure emerge. It was yellow, like the tips of a fire. She couldn’t figure out if it was real or her imagination gone wild with the smoke.

You found me, she thought. But in that instant, the figure disappeared again.

You’re imagining this, she told herself. It’s okay, let go.

Lily lay back down and did her best to pull the reflective jacket over her body.

Just get onto the log, she told herself. If anyone comes by, they need to see you.

She pulled together the last bit of her strength and hoisted herself onto the log. Deep within, she thought she felt something shift. It wasn’t a kick, it was way too early for that. But it was there.

I’m here, it seemed to say. Don’t be scared.

Lily let her eyes close, convinced herself it was to keep the sting of the smoke away. In the darkness, just like everyone said, her life was showcased as a montage.

She was nine years old and walking home from school with her brothers and Cade. She could feel the weight of her plastic lunchbox in her hand. She was one year older and at the firehouse. Cade’s dad was like a monster as he stumbled toward them. She dropped her kite and ran into the firehouse like her dad said.

Minute later, Cade rushed in as blood poured from his nose. “You’re bleeding,” she said, and took his hand.

She was in high school getting ready for the homecoming dance with girlfriends she hadn’t thought about in years. Cade walked in with Elijah.

“I thought you were too old for princess parties,” Elijah said, and she shot him a look. But when she saw Cade, she blushed and looked down.

“You all look pretty,” Cade said. It made her blush harder.

It was three years ago, and Tim had just dumped her in the most humiliating moment of her life. Her face was streaked with tears and she dug desperately for her keys in her bag. Cade appeared before her.

He took her into his dry truck and drove her to his apartment. She drowned in his sweatshirt that he slowly pulled off of her on that couch. The touch of his lips on her skin shot off fireworks.

It was last month in the bakery. Jean-Michel had a twinkle in his eye when he asked her about the sexy fireman. She wanted to spill it all to him, to gossip and guess and plan an elaborate, ridiculous wedding.

She was on Renee’s couch with a pint of ice cream. Lily felt her insides soften as her best friend came back, fully, from her time abroad and attempt at escape.

These are all the things I’ll miss, she thought as her dreams began to mix with reality. These are all the people I’ve loved.

But at the top of the list was Cade. He was what kept coming back into her memory.

I’m sorry you’ll never know, she thought into the darkness.

But maybe he would. Maybe, somehow, he’d find out about what she’d carried into the flames. And maybe he’d forgive her.

Lily let go of her last grasp of consciousness. It was true what they say. She wasn’t afraid. The heat felt good, like a warm blanket wrapped around her. And the smoke, as it filled her body, made its way into her bones so that she was as light as could be. She’d never felt so light in her life.

Don’t be scared, the little voice in her center whispered. I’m here with you.