CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE

COLE

I walk out of the cafeteria and stop at my locker. I yank the door open, grab what I need, and then slam it shut.

“You can’t go,” Deke growls, coming up to me.

“I’m getting really fucking tired of arguing with you about this,” I snap.

“Then do the right thing.”

“Why do you fucking care?” I shout, making a kid jump who was walking by. “Huh, Deke? Why do you fucking care what I do?”

He lowers his eyes to the floor and runs his hand through his hair. “Becky was right.”

“Fuck! Not this again …”

“I’ve seen a difference in you too, Cole.” His eyes meet mine. “Haven’t you felt the difference?” I snort, rolling my eyes. “Ever since Eli died …”

“Don’t,” I snap, stopping whatever he was about to say.

“No, you’re gonna hear this.” He steps to me, and I fist my hands, ready to punch his ass. “Austin was just someone you wanted to destroy. You wanted someone as fucked up as you, Cole. So bad that you couldn’t stand it. Even I could see that.”

“Deke,” I warn.

“But no matter what you throw at her, she dishes it back. You like the fight better than if she was to lie down and cry. Beg you to stop.” I hate how right he is. “If you fuck Kaitlin tomorrow night, are you prepared for what she’s gonna do to retaliate?”

“What does that mean?” I demand, not liking where he’s going. This thought had never crossed my mind.

He lowers his voice. “It means she’s gonna run right to Bryan and fuck him. That’s what she does. She fucks you back twice as hard. And he’s gonna jump all over that. Finally getting his chance with her and be able to fuck you over at the same time.”

I see red and punch him at the thought of Austin and Bryan together. He stumbles back into another kid, knocking him to his ass. Deke stays standing and chuckles like I softly slapped him. “When was the last time you hit someone, Cole?” I lower my hands. “When was the last time you needed to release that anger since she came into your life that night?”

“What …?” I trail off confused by his words.

“She has changed you. You may not see it, but we all have. You only hit someone when she is the reason. When you’re protecting her. When someone threatens to take her from you. And that is exactly why Kellan is doing this to you.”

“Deke,” Becky calls out from down the hall with Austin, hearing the commotion. Austin spins around, her hair slapping her in the face, and her eyes land on mine. They start heading for us.

I fist my hand, and my shoulder throbs. I look at Deke. “You’re wrong.”

He shakes his head with a chuckle. “Go ahead. Fuck Kaitlin and see what happens. Austin will hate you, and you’ll hate yourself more than you already do.” I flinch at his words. “Because this is something you can’t control, Cole. She will be your living nightmare. Not one you only see when you close your eyes. But every minute of every day.”

“Are you okay, babe?” Becky asks him, coming up to us.

“I’m fine.”

She spins around to face me. Her crystal blue eyes hard and she fists her hands like she plans on hitting me. “What the hell is wrong with you?” she demands.

“Stop,” Austin says, coming to stand between us. Becky turns back around to face Deke, and Austin turns toward me. Her green eyes are void of any emotion. “Do what you need to do,” she says.

Deke’s head snaps up to look at the back of her head.

“What do you mean?” I ask, my heart pounding in my chest from Deke’s words.

Let’s give them a show.

He’s right once again. She would go to Bryan and do just that. And it would drive me mad. More than I already am. “Austin …”

“Exactly what I said,” she interrupts me. “Tomorrow night at the party. Do what you need to do, Cole.” She leans up and softly kisses me on the lips. I don’t move or kiss her back. Then she walks off with Becky right behind her. Deke and I turn to watch them walk down the hall.

He comes to stand beside me and sighs. “She’s gonna eat you alive, man.”

“FUCK!” I turn and punch my locker.

_________________________________

I stand in the kitchen of Kellan’s parents’ house with my back against the countertop. My arms crossed over my chest and a pissed-off look on my face.

Austin’s words have continued to swim in my mind since yesterday.

Do what you have to do.

What kind of bullshit is that?

She’s fucking with my mind. She does it so well.

Was that her way of telling me to fuck Kaitlin? If so, it’s a trap. No woman willingly tells a man to fuck another woman. No matter what the circumstances. Or was that her way of telling me to choose her and withdraw from the group?

“Here. You’re gonna need it,” Deke says, handing me his Solo cup.

“No.” I don’t drink at parties unless it’s at my house. That was a rule I made after I lost three friends. I’m not gonna let Kellan force me to go against that. He’s already forcing me to do enough.

“Hello, boys,” Kellan says, joining us.

Bennett ignores him as he drinks from a Solo cup.

Deke throws him a glare. I watch the entrance to the kitchen, waiting for either Kaitlin or Austin to walk in. At this point, I’m not sure who I want to see less.

“I’d choose Becky.”

“What?” I snap, looking over at Deke.

He ignores my harsh tone. But no one can miss the cut on his bottom lip from my fist yesterday.

“Becky was so mad when I told her about your dare. She was afraid the same thing would happen to me. And I never made her think that I would choose her. But that’s why I was so pissed at Kellan.” He takes a quick sip of his drink. “Because the moment I heard you read the dare, I knew I’d pick her over the group.” He looks me in the eyes. “It’s okay to choose her, Cole. This group will come to an end soon. After graduation, they’ll go their separate ways, but where will Austin go? Will you willingly leave her?” He shakes his head as if he already knows my answer.

“You make it sound like I love her,” I growl.

“Don’t you?”

“No,” I snap. She’s supposed to fall in love with me. I’m the one who is supposed to have all the control and ruin her. Not the other way around. I’ve seen what loving someone can do to another person. And it’s pathetic.

He just smiles.

“Fuck you, Deke.”

“Showtime,” Kellan says, getting our attention. He rubs his hands together excitedly, and my eyes follow where his are. Kaitlin just walked into the kitchen. She has her red hair down. She’s wearing a tight pair of blue jeans and a black top. A big smile on her face.

She does absolutely nothing for me.

She turns around and holds out her right hand, and my eyes widen when I see Bryan take it in his.

“What the fuck?” Kellan snaps.

They walk toward us, and he picks up a Solo cup and pours her a drink. He lifts his eyes to mine. “Boys.” He nods and then pulls her out of the kitchen.

Deke tries to hide his chuckle but fails. “Well, that changes things,” he says happily.

“Absolutely not,” Kellan snaps. “He still has to fuck her.”

“That’s not gonna happen. She’s obviously back with Bryan,” Bennett says, shaking his head.

“That was his dare.” Kellan growls. “He fucks her or he’s out.”

“What is he supposed to do?” Bennett asks. “Rape her?”

“If that’s what he has to do,” Kellan says with a nod.

“Absolutely not!” I snap.

“What the fuck, man?” Shane demands. “What is wrong with you?”

He lets out a growl of frustration. “Then you’re out.” He looks at me.

I raise my hands. “Then I’m out.”

Deke smiles at me, and he knows why I just stepped away. It had nothing to do with Kaitlin. And everything to do with Austin.

Fuck! She’s gotten to me.

“No,” Bennett says, pushing off the opposite counter. “You’re not going anywhere, Cole.”

Kellan opens his mouth to argue, but something behind me gets his attention. I turn around to see Austin and Becky walking toward us. She looks like she just walked off a runway in Milan. Her hair curled and down. Her green eyes lined with black. Her lips painted red. And she wears a red fucking dress that makes me weak in the knees. It’s low cut in the front, showcasing her perfect tits. She smiles at me, and everyone parts for them as if they’re fucking royalty.

“Desire” by Meg Myers begins to play over the speakers of the house, and her smile widens like she knows a secret.

“Fuck this shit.” I hear Kellan hiss, but I ignore him.

She comes up to me, and I reach out for her. My hand wraps around her thin waist and pull her to me.

“I didn’t do it,” I tell her, needing her to know. I wouldn’t have done it anyway. I was just trying to buy time to get out of it, but I couldn’t figure it out. I couldn’t do it because I couldn’t picture her being with anyone else. And I don’t want anyone else.

This woman is as twisted as I am. She is as broken as me. Together, we are two fucked-up people living in a world where you’re supposed to be perfect. She’s not up to pretending, and I’m not up for faking.

“I know,” she whispers against my lips.

I search her eyes, and they sparkle. Just like every other time she has gone toe to toe with me. I love that look on her.

“You’re up to something,” I say.

Her eyes drop to my chest as her hands run down it. “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” she says, licking her red lips. I want them wrapped around my cock.

I grip her chin and lift it, so she has to look up at me. “You had something to do with Kaitlin and Bryan.” I’m reaching, but what else can explain what just happened. And the look in her eyes. I’ve underestimated her too much. But I don’t anymore.

She smiles. “I dare you to prove it.”

AUSTIN

He stares down at me. Those gorgeous blue eyes searching mine. He pulls away, takes my hand, and drags me out of the kitchen. I bite my lip to keep from laughing at his urgency. He pulls me into a room and slams the door shut.

“What did you do?” he demands, spinning to face me.

I cross my arms over my chest.

“Austin,” he growls, coming up to me. “Tell me.”

I love when he’s like this. When the roles are reversed, and he can’t stand to not know what I did. What I’m capable of. “I wasn’t gonna let you fuck her, Cole. If that’s what you want, then fine, let me walk right now. No more you and me. No more game.” He said he didn’t do it, but was that because I stepped in?

He steps to me, his hand coming up to cup my face. “I couldn’t do it because of you.” I swallow nervously at his words. “I was never going to do it.” He pushes his body into mine. “You’re not going anywhere, Austin. I’ve been so dead set on making everyone see you as mine, but I didn’t realize until tonight that all along I’ve been yours.”

“Mine?” I question, and my heart starts to pound faster.

He nods once. His eyes searching mine. “I’m all yours.”

“You’re giving me a choice?” I can’t help but ask.

He chuckles. “No, sweetheart. I’m not.” Then his lips are on mine.

His hands go to the hem of my dress, and I lift mine above my head and pull away from his lips as he lifts my dress. “Fuck.” He growls when he sees I’m not wearing a bra.

I smile as “A Little Wicked” by Valerie Broussard plays through the speakers.

He takes a step back from me, and I slowly push my red thong down my legs. He watches in complete fascination as I toss it to the side. “I’ll leave my heels on for you.”

His eyes meet mine as his hands go to the belt on his jeans. “You won’t need them while on your knees.”

_________________________________

I’m sliding my dress on as he pulls his jeans up. “What did you do?” he asks.

“I’d rather not tell you,” I say truthfully.

He looks up and glares at me. He hates being in the dark. Sighing, I say, “I blackmailed Bryan.”

His eyes widen. “You what? How?”

“I caught his sister fucking someone she shouldn’t have been. I went to him and told him that if he didn’t get back with Kaitlin I’d turn his sister in.”

“And he bought it?”

“I wasn’t joking,” I say simply. “He had a few choice words and said I was bluffing. When I pulled out my phone to show him the pictures, he threw his hands up in defeat.”

“You took pictures of her fucking someone?”

“No.” I smile.

He stares at me. His jeans pulled up but still unbuttoned, showcasing his black boxers. He’s still shirtless, allowing me to enjoy the gorgeous view of his body.

“I refused to let Kellan win.” I shake my head. “If you wanted her, that was a different story—”

“I didn’t want her,” he interrupts me flatly, walking over to me, and I don’t back down. The hard look on his face makes me think he’s mad at me, but I don’t care. I had more than this stupid game at stake. I wasn’t gonna let this school see me as anything but strong. I’m not the girl who gets played. And I’m certainly not the girl who lets men like Kellan walk over me.

He cups my cheek. “You’re such a fucking shark,” he says, and a smile spreads across his face.

“Well, around here, if you’re not one, you’re dead.”

“I’d never let anyone touch you, sweetheart.”

“No one but you?” I ask, my arms coming up and wrapping around his neck.

“No one but me,” he promises, and then my dress is on the floor again.

_________________________________

Monday morning, I walk into second period and sit down next to Cole. He’s looking down at his phone like always. “Can you take Lilly to dance tonight? I have somewhere I have to be,” he says without looking my way.

“Of course. What do you have to do? Practice?” I ask, but he doesn’t respond. “Cole?” I snap, getting his attention.

“What?” he growls, looking up at me.

I arch a brow at his shitty attitude. I’m not sure what the hell is going on in his head now. It’s been two weeks since the party at Kellan’s house, and things have been extremely tense. No one has called a meeting at the clubhouse, and I’m not sure what we all do now that Cole didn’t complete his dare. I heard Shane say something about doing a redraw, but Bennett quickly shut that down.

Once again, Kellan hasn’t been around. But I know they see him at practice, and they had a meet over the weekend. It was here in Collins, so thankfully they didn’t have to be on a bus with him. But it’s bound to happen.

“I said what do you have to do?”

He looks away from me. “It’s personal.”

I open my mouth to argue further, but the teacher stands from her desk and starts the class.

I sit back as he puts his phone away. I watch him out of the corner of my eyes. His jaw is sharp like usual, and his eyes clouded. He’s in his own little twisted world where blood and anger control him. I hate that I can’t pull him out of it. He’ll come over later and fuck me. Then afterward it’s like all his power and anger just fade to nothing. And then he’s smiling and laughing with me like nothing ever happened.

It’s confusing and gives me whiplash.

_________________________________

I sent Cole a text that I had dropped Lilly off over an hour ago. He read it immediately but never responded. I didn’t let it bother me. Even though we are officially a couple now, not much has changed.

I make my way into the kitchen and grab a bottle of water before I go up to my room. When a noise has me pausing.

“Cole!”

I frown. Is Cole here? I didn’t see his car outside. I place my bottle of water on the countertop and make my way down the hall to the back terrace. I go outside and look in the pool. But no one’s out here.

“Cole.”

I hear it softly this time. “What the hell?” I whisper, making my way down the hall to my father and Celeste’s bedroom.

I go to open the door, but my hand freezes on the door handle. “Oh, God, Cole!” I hear Celeste cry out.

My heart beats faster in my chest. “Fuck, yeah. Oh, that’s it … Cole!” She cries out his name again and again.

I go to twist the knob, to barge in on them, but it’s locked. I hear a banging sound and realize that it’s the bed hitting the wall.

She screams his name this time. The thought of running to the garage, grabbing a hammer and beating my way through this door crosses my mind. But what will that prove? The thought alone is too much to bear—I sure as hell don’t want to see them in the act.

I take a step back and run up to my room. After shutting my door, I let the first tear fall. I could put up with a lot of shit, but this was the last straw.

_________________________________

Cole wasn’t in class second period the following morning. I never sent him a text asking where he was, and he never text me to offer any information. I figured he was still at my father’s house sleeping off his long night. I ignored everyone, even Becky. She noticed but didn’t push me for an explanation.

It’s not until after last period that I see him in the hallway, placing his keys in his locker. He was able to skip school but unable to miss practice. They have a meet this weekend after all. Deke walks right up to him. “How did it go, man?” he asks.

“Good,” he says with a nod.

Kids fill the hallways, throwing books in their lockers and getting ready to leave for the day.

“Awesome. So you finished the deal?” he asks like they’re talking about buying a car. Not screwing a woman.

“All done.”

I snort as I walk by him.

“Hey, sweetheart,” Cole says, reaching out and wrapping a hand around my waist. He pulls my back to his front and leans his head down to my ear. “Miss me?”

I spin around in his arms, reach up, and slap him across the face. The sound echoes off the walls. I stare up into his blue eyes as they harden. My heart starts to beat, festering at my rage. His betrayal. My stupidity. He may have not fucked Kaitlin, but he’s been screwing my stepmom behind my back. I’m so stupid.

Deke takes a step back from us.

“What the hell was that for?” Cole demands, glaring down at me.

I throw Deke a look of disgust, and his brows rise. Then I look back at Cole. “I’m sure you can figure it out.” I turn and walk toward the door, not bothering giving them another second of my time.

He grabs my arm and yanks me back. “Cole!” I snap.

“What the fuck was that for, Austin?” he demands. “Because I didn’t tell you where I went? It was none of your fucking business!”

My anger rises and tears spring to my eyes. I try to yank my arm from his hold, but he won’t let me go. “Just forget it.” My voice cracks, and I hate myself for caring so much. For thinking he actually cared. His agenda from the get-go was to break me. And I willingly let him.

“No. I’m not going to forget it.” He steps into me, his blue eyes softening. “What’s wrong?” he asks, cupping my face.

My first tear falls, and I fist my hands. “I know where you went.”

Deke’s eyes widen, and Cole’s jaw sharpens. “How do you …?”

“I heard it,” I say, interrupting him.

He looks at Deke, and he throws his hands up, shaking his head. “I haven’t said anything.”

“What do you mean? You heard it? Who did you hear it from?”

“I’m not gonna spell it out for you, Cole.”