CHAPTER FORTY

COLE

Fuck!

She was right! Not like I doubted her. But finding her phone in Kellan’s car made me want to knock his head off his shoulders with that fucking bat.

“Cole?”

I pulled out! That was the right thing to do. It’s over. No more dares. No more group. And it means she is safe. Well, for now. Kellan was right that Bruce can take her from me. He can destroy me in a completely different way now. And I know that he wouldn’t think twice.

Fuck, I’m so tired of people being right.

“Cole?”

“What?” I snap.

She takes a step back. “Will you take me home?”

I shake my head. “You can stay the night here.”

“I can’t …”

“We’re on spring break.” I walk over to her. “And you’re safe here. Plus, we need to talk.” It’s time.

“About what?” She asks nervously.

“Everything,” I say simply. “You’ve earned the truth.” Her eyes search mine for any indication I’m lying, but she won’t find it this time.

AUSTIN

At my silence, he pulls me over to the couch, and I sit down next to him. “I wanna know about Lilly.” There’s so much more I want to know, but she is the most important right now.

He nods and takes a deep breath. “I found out Bruce raped my mom when I heard her talking to my father in his office. He blamed my mom. Said that it was her fault. She should have been stronger.” He fists his hands in his lap. “I didn’t understand what they were talking about exactly because I was only eleven at the time. She tried to leave him, but he wouldn’t let her go. He never loved her. He was just sick and twisted and loved the idea of making her stay.

“Anyway, fast forward nine months, and my mom was a week past her due date when Celeste came to my school and pulled me out of class. She told me that my father had called and told her my mother had fallen down at home and was rushed to the hospital. It sent her into labor, and although the baby was okay, there were complications. Blood loss …” He pauses, and my throat starts to tighten. “She didn’t make it through surgery. My father didn’t want a baby. But his wife had died, and no one knew what Bruce had done. To put the baby up for adoption would make him look bad, so he decided to keep her. I hated my father from then on. For not protecting my mother. For not loving Lilly. To me, she was his daughter. She was the baby of the woman he was supposed to love.” He shakes his head. “And I hated Bruce.” He looks up at me.

“Then why do you let Lilly go to my father’s house so much?” This question has been on my mind. “Knowing what he is capable of,” I grind out. I’ve always known my father to be a sick bastard.

“Celeste was around a lot and helped me more than anyone else was willing to.”

“Did she know what Bruce did to your mom?” I ask softly.

He nods. “Yes. She never came out and said it, but she didn’t have to.” I look down at my hands. “I let Celeste keep her at times, but Bruce was never home when I allowed that. Except with you.”

“What?” I frown, looking back up at him.

He cups my cheek. “I didn’t tell you about her. And at first, I didn’t want you to spend time with her. Afraid Lilly would get attached and it would hurt her when you left.” I swallow at that. “But as time passed, I wanted you to spend as much time with Lilly as possible, so I let her go home with you even when Bruce was there because I knew without a doubt that you would protect her, Austin. You didn’t need to know she was your sister to keep her safe.”

“With my life,” I say without thought. I may have not known Lilly was my sister, but I love that little girl. And even when my dad was home, and I had Lilly, he never came around us. Never even looked at her in passing. He acted as if she didn’t exist.

He leans in and kisses my forehead. “I know.”

Tears start to well in my eyes. “I’m so sorry, Cole. For what Bruce did to your mother.” My chest tightens. “I’m so sorry that I didn’t know about Lilly sooner. I could have helped …” My voice cracks. “I could have come back here. I should have …” I choke on the words.

He reaches out and pulls me to him. I bury my face into his shirt and inhale that scent that I’ve missed the past two weeks. “It’s not your fault, Austin.” He kisses my hair. “You didn’t know.” He sighs. “I was afraid of losing her. To you. To Bruce. Even Celeste held her over my head. She helped me raise her the first few years. I was twelve when she was born and knew nothing about babies. My dad didn’t want her and neither did Bruce. But I wanted her. She was part of me.” He smiles softly at me. “Part of my mom.”

The first tear falls down my cheek. He wipes it away with a small smile. “But you’re here now, Austin. And I don’t plan on you going anywhere.”

“I …” I pause, not knowing what to say.

“What is it, sweetheart?” he asks softly.

I shake my head and pull away from him. “What is your end game?’

“What?” he asks, standing.

I wipe the tears from my face and look up at him. “What do you want from me?” My heart pounds at those words. That his answer isn’t gonna be what I want to hear.

He frowns.

I stand. “No more games, Cole. Now more secrets. And no more lies. Just tell me …” I let out a long breath. “What is it that you want from me?” He’s gonna break my heart, and I deserve it because I allowed it. You don’t fall in love with a man like him and expect him to feel the same about you. It doesn’t work that way.

He cups my face with both of his hands. “I want you, Austin. That is not a lie.”

“You want to break me—”

“Not anymore,” he interrupts me. “I did want that, yes. But it’s no longer enough.”

“What does that mean?” I whisper.

He pushes his body into me. He tilts my head back, and he lowers his lips to mine. A simple kiss that takes my breath away. This man has taken so much from me already. I’m not sure I have anything else to give.

“I want you to want me. I want you to need me.” His eyes search mine. “Because that’s how I feel about you. I’m not the same since I met you. You have bled for me, but I’m starving for you. People say when you meet the one you love, that person can calm you down. Make you better.” He shakes his head. “You fucking fan my flames. You make me feel invincible.” He sighs heavily. “You deserve better than me,” he whispers, placing his head against mine, “but I’m too selfish to let you go.”

I give him a soft smile. “I want you just the way you are.” He pulls away. I cup his cheek. This man is the devil himself, but I’ve never been afraid of hell. “And I’m not going anywhere.”

He gently kisses my lips. “What about Kellan?” I ask, knowing we have a long way to go. And that he is pissed at me.

“Everything is gonna be all right, Austin. Trust me.”

As my eyes search his, I realize just how much I want him to be right. “I trust you, Cole,” I say, licking my wet lips, tasting my tears.

He watches the motion and leans forward but comes to a stop with his lips inches from mine. I lean in, closing the distance and pressing mine to his. His fingers slide into my hair, and I moan into his mouth as his tongue meets mine. That familiar feeling that only he can give me starts to build, and I wrap my arms around his neck.

Two weeks of not even looking at him has me worked up.

He pulls away. “Austin, we shouldn’t.”

God, I’ve missed him. My body craves him in an unhealthy way.

“I want you,” I say breathlessly.

His eyes search mine and then land on my stitches. He gives me a small smile and takes my hand, pulling me up to the loft.

Then his lips are on mine. The next thing I know, he is undressing me.

“Fuck! I’ve missed you,” he growls before nibbling on my lip.

“Me too …” I trail off, sucking in a deep breath. “I want you.” I pant as my hands go to his jeans.