“Not happening.”
Jessi rolls her eyes at me as she lifts her wine glass to her lips. Courtney and Jen begin their arguments at once, but their efforts fall on deaf ears. I sat here for the last hour listening to them tell me why I need to start dating. No matter how much I tell them I’m not interested, they continue to plead the case they’ve already lost.
“Look, I get what you guys are saying but I’m not interested.”
“Yeah, but Trenton is –”
Putting my hand up to halt the conversation, Jen stops talking. I don’t want to hear about Trenton dating. Honestly, I couldn’t care less if he’s dating or not. That isn’t because I’m strong and moving on. I simply have no feelings on the matter. Not marrying Trenton was the best decision of my life, and I think he’d agree.
“You guys know I’m not much of a dater. I never was before Trenton, and I’m not sure why you’d think that would change. And you,” I say, pointing at Jessi, “have been quiet all night. You’re freaking me out.”
“I told them you’d say no, but nobody listens to me.”
Now it’s my turn to roll my eyes. She’s so full of shit. Jessi is never without an opinion, so the fact that she’s taking this position has me suspect. Just like I was suspicious of her invitation to happy hour tonight. Our normal happy-hour night is Thursday since she doesn’t have class on Friday.
“Hey, Jess,” I say, pulling her attention from the front door she’s had her focus on since we arrived.
“Hmm?”
“You waiting for someone?” I ask.
Turning her head quickly, her eyes are large in surprise as her lashes flutter. If I could see inside her brain, I’m sure I’d find it trying to come up with a response. “Who would I be waiting for? That’s silly.” Yep, she’s up to something.
Jessi keeps her attention away from the door for a few minutes as I quickly change the subject to a possible girl’s trip in the next few months. Everyone agrees sunshine and cabanas are a must but when I suggest we road trip the looks on each of their faces sends me into a fit of giggles.
“Come on, it’ll be fun. Besides, I’m not rolling in the dough these days. The next time I offer to pay my parents back for a cancelled wedding, kick me,” I say, looking at all three of them.
Jen rises from her chair and looks at me with a serious expression. Raising my brows in question, I wait for her to say something. “I’d suggest you don’t cancel anymore weddings. There, solved that problem.”
Nobody speaks right away, and a look of embarrassment creeps across Jen’s face before we all start laughing. Tears stream down my cheeks as Courtney snorts through her own tears. Proud of herself, Jen offers to grab another round of drinks from the bar after hitting the restroom and Courtney goes with her.
When it’s just Jessi and me at the table, I take a sip from my vodka soda before asking the questions that’s been eating me for weeks. “So, Jess, why didn’t you tell me you and Jonah were friends?”
Shrugging, Jessi scrunches her face before answering. “I don’t know. It’s no biggie. We have similar schedules and started studying together. Carmen came by one day with coffees and we hit it off. Why?”
“I don’t know. I felt like a horrible friend when he told me because I should know those things about your life. You’re my best friend and roommate and while you’ve been off making new friends, I’ve been wallowing in my own head. Completely self-absorbed. I’m sorry.”
“You have not been self-absorbed,” she says, but I tilt my head and smile. She and I both know it’s true. “Fine, moderately self-absorbed. In your defense, you’ve had a lot of life changes in the last few months. It’s no big deal. They’re cool.”
I’m about to suggest we include Carmen in our next happy hour when the front door of the bar opens and my eyes land on a hot-as-hell guy standing there, looking around. My heart skips and my tongue peeks out between my lips before my teeth snag the bottom lip in anticipation. When his eyes land on mine and the smile that makes me giddy appears, I match it.
“Ladies,” Lucas greets.
“And, on that note I’ll grab the girls and get a different table. You two kids have a good night.”
Before either of us can respond, Jessi stands and walks away from our table. Lucas and I both watch as she walks toward the hallway Jen and Courtney are exiting. With a quick head nod in our direction I can only assume she’s telling them to find a new table because they both smile and turn toward the bar.
“What was that about?” Lucas asks as he takes the chair formerly occupied by Courtney.
“Her not so subtle attempt at a setup, I believe. Sorry.” Picking up my glass, I finish off my drink and silently wish the waitress would hurry back to take my order for another.
“A setup? I thought we were having happy hour.”
“Yeah, my friends seem to think I need to get back in the dating game. Which, by the way, I’ve never actually been in. Sorry they dragged you into this.”
“Never dated?”
The waitress chooses that moment to appear. With her attention on Lucas, I watch as she flirts—hand on his forearm, flip of her hair, larger than life smile, tits in his face—and he . . . orders a beer. He doesn’t flirt back. He doesn’t look at her too-tight top that accentuates her boobs. Then he asks for another of whatever I’m drinking before turning his attention to me, effectively dismissing her.
“So, never dated.”
“You didn’t have to ignore her on my account,” I say, even though I’m over the moon he did.
“What? Oh the excessive flirting? Eh, not interested. I’m here with you, and that’s better than a pair of tits in my face any day.”
“A lot of men would disagree.”
“I’m not a lot of men. So tell me about the non-dating thing.”
And just like that, Lucas and I sit and enjoy our own happy hour. Two drinks turn to four. A bowl of nuts becomes dinner, and before I know it, it’s been three hours and I’m having an amazing time. When the bill comes and I grab my purse to pull my card, Lucas places his hand on mine.
Zing.
Zang.
Electricity.
It.
“Nope. It’s on me,” he says, dropping his card in the book and holding it out for the waitress.
“Only if you promise to let me buy next time.”
“That probably won’t happen but okay,” he says, smiling as he accepts the book back from the waitress and scribbles his signature on the slip. “Ready to go?”
Nodding, I stand from the chair, and the number of vodkas I’ve had hits me as I sway a little. “Whoops.”
“Okay, tipsy girl, let me drive you home.”
“That’s probably a good idea. Except . . .”
With his hand to the small of my back, Lucas guides me through the bar toward the front door. His hand never leaves my back, not even when he opens the door for me to walk ahead of him. Pausing in front of him before exiting, I look at him and a plethora of emotions run through me.
I’m not ready to date. Not only is it too soon, but I’m making a lot of life changes and the last thing I need is to fall for someone and try to build a relationship. Plus, I’m scared to death. Being with Trenton for so long, I don’t know if I would know where to start with someone new.
All of that said, I want nothing more than to place my lips on Lucas’s. Perhaps it’s the vodka or the good time we had. The fact that he’s ridiculously hot and smells like a fucking wet dream isn’t hurting. But it’s more. It’s the way he looks at me, only me. The way he cares about the mundane shit I talk about. It’s how I feel when he’s around. Safe, important, and cared for.
Instead, I rise on my tippy toes and place a kiss to his cheek. It’s closer to the corner of his mouth and if he were to move just a fraction of an inch, it’d be more of a kiss to the lips than the cheek. He doesn’t move, only allows me this moment.
The drive to my apartment is quiet with the exception of the music playing low. I recognize it as a song that played when we were at the bar in Portland. The night we kissed.
“Interesting music choice,” I comment as he pulls in the visitor space near our building.
“I developed an appreciation for blues and the memories it brings.”
My heart.
“Memories?” I’m a glutton for punishment. I want him to tell me this attraction is real. That the moment we shared in Portland can happen again. God, what is wrong with me? I’ve said all night I’m not interested in dating, but I want Lucas to tell me there’s something.
Maybe it isn’t dating I’m not ready for, it’s dating someone other than Lucas.