Barbie

I’ve been staring at the two grey lines for I don’t know how long. It could be minutes, but it could also be hours. Maybe days. Years? It’s not possible, at least I was sure it wasn’t, but here it is, and this is the third test confirming it today.

The door to the suite Ice and me have been living in for the past two years opens and clicks shut. We thought about getting a house, but then decided to stay at Sanctuary. Roxie needed help with the baby and staying here made it easier to just take a ride whenever we felt like it. I’ve now seen all the oceans this land of ours is bordered with and some across the border too. And I’ve also seen everything in between. He showed it to me, along with so much else.

Besides, these rooms are nicer than any house I’ve ever seen. There’s two of them, one the living room and the other our bedroom that’s fit for a princess. And the bathroom is more beautiful than anything I’ve ever imagined. But we might have to get a house of our own now.

I’m so petrified of telling him, I’m frozen stiff. My hands aren’t even shaking even though everything on the inside is. The last time I told a man this news, it didn’t end well. It almost killed me.

“Barbie, you in here?” Ice yells from the living room. “I thought we could go grab dinner by the sea.”

He likes going to the ocean as much as I do. It’s our special thing. Sometimes we go sit on the beach and just watch the waves roll in for hours. We often make love in the sand too. Maybe we could get a house by the sea. But no, he has his work here and the ocean is a couple of hours away. And Roxie needs me here. Once me and her got to know each other better, we became the best of friends. We’re two of a kind, her and I, and that just proves my point some more that me and Ice were meant to be.

I don’t answer him, since just the walk from the bathroom to the bedroom is taking all the strength I can muster. I have my own means now, I’m a famous beauty and lifestyle youtuber and hundreds of thousands of women—women who used to look down their noses at me before—are now my biggest fans. I teach them to live their lives wild and free, and how to have fun. Hawk and Yana helped set me up, and Ice grumbles a lot about me talking to the camera for hours on end, but he’s actually my biggest fan.

I could do this without him. But I don’t want to!

He’s undressing by the bed, half of him already naked and giving me the best view I’ve ever had the pleasure of laying my eyes on, or my hands, for that matter. I don’t want to do anything without him!

“What’s wrong?” he asks, probably reading my nervousness off my face, because he’s really good at doing that. Unlike anyone else I know. That just proves my point some more, but this will be a big test.

“I…I’m…you’re…You’re gonna be a daddy,” I finally stutter out, saying it like that, because it’s a done deal. I hope it’s a done deal.

He just stares at me, then stumbles a little before plopping down on the bed. I have no idea what he’s thinking right now, and I’m usually good at reading his face and his eyes too. At least it’s not anger. At least he’s not hitting me. But why would he? He never hits me. Why did I even fear he would now?

“You’re not happy?” I ask, taking a few steps closer to him. Fear, that’s mostly what’s on his face.

“You think I’ll make a good father?”

I know he’s thinking back on all the darkness that was his life before we met, remembering all the vengeful death he witnessed and dealt out, and the cold, brooding, angry man all that changed him into. But I haven’t seen much of that man in the last two years we’ve spent together. I’ve hardly seen that man at all.

I walk the rest of the way to the bed and sit down beside him, gripping his hand in both of mine. “You’re the best man I know, and I can’t imagine a better father.”

I tell him that he’s a good man from time to time, to remind him when he forgets, and that’s not hard to do at all, because it’s the complete and utter truth.

His eyes aren’t as fearful anymore as they fix on mine, and they’re not as unreadable anymore either. They’re happy now and full of devotion. They’re the eyes of the man I will love until the day I die, and probably beyond too.

“What is it? A boy or a girl?”

I laugh. “We can’t know yet, silly. It’s only been a couple of months…I think…maybe less. I hope it’s a boy, personally.”

“Why? It’d be nice to have a tiny version of you running around,” he says. “And Hudson needs a little girl cousin to boss him around. Lily’s not doing the best job of keeping him in check. They’re too much alike.”

I’m smiling, because I’m already picturing that whole scene in my head, and it’s beautiful enough to make my eyes water.

“It’s better to be a boy. It’s easier,” I say anyway. I always pictured my baby who died as a boy for precisely this reason.

He wipes away the tear that slipped from my eye with his thumb. “No daughter of mine’s gonna have a hard time in life, I promise you that.”

And I know he means it body and soul. He’ll be her protector just like he’s always been mine, and he won’t ever think twice about loving her and keeping her safe.

“So you’re happy?” I ask.

He kisses me instead of answering, making the birdsong coming in through the open window louder, making the scent of flowers grow stronger, and erasing all my fear and pain the way only his love can.

“I guess we might as well get married now too,” he says once the kiss ends, then grins right after, probably in answer to my very wide and shocked eyes.

“That’s the most unromantic proposal I’ve ever heard spoken, Brandon Knight,” I say after gasping for effect.

He laughs. “Yeah, it probably is. The way I figure, it’s just a ring and a name change, and with or without those two things, you already have all that’s mine. But we might as well be thorough.”

I shake my head in resignation, even though everything inside me is singing. “I’d love to have your name.”

He kisses me again and doesn’t stop just at my lips this time. I don’t think we’re gonna get to the ocean tonight. And if all he said didn’t already convince me how happy he is with this news, his kisses are doing it now.

He starts undressing me and kisses every inch of my skin the moment it comes into view, some twice, some more often than that. I’m lighter than air, feel like a princess for real, as he lays me down on the cool sheets.

I’m his princess and he’s my prince, and I’d gladly live my whole life all over again, just so I could meet him again, just so I could fall in love with him all over again. Over and over again. For eternity.

* * *

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