Jordan and Derek were in the kitchen when I barreled into the house a little over an over later, with my nerves frazzled and my brain a puddle of mush between my ears.

What the hell had I just done?

I kissed him.

I kissed Hunter!

"Where's the fire?" Derek joked when he saw my ruffled appearance and panting chest.

In my panties, a voice in my head cackled cruelly.

"Oh, hey, Uncle Derek," I choked out, still feeling breathless. My gaze landed on Jordan and I cringed before composing myself enough to say, "Hey Jord."

"Hope?" Jordan said with a frown, as he turned to face me. "Are you okay?"

No! No! No! "Yep," I squeaked out. "Perfect. Fantastic."

His brow creased in concern. "You sure?"

"Yeah!" I started to shake my head but ended up nodding frantically like a deranged idiot. "I'm just…" Shaking my head, I backed out of the kitchen. "I'll be right back!"

Turning on my heels, I ran full speed up the narrow staircase, not stopping until I was inside the tiny family bathroom with the door locked firmly behind me.

Sinking to the floor, I leaned my head against the doorframe and exhaled a shaky breath.

My phone began to vibrate in my pocket and I balked, horrified.

Digging into my jeans pocket, I retrieved the wretched device and whimpered loudly when Hunter's name flashed across the screen.

I stabbed the reject button and clenched my eyes shut.

I couldn’t talk to him.

I couldn’t fucking breathe.

Inhaling short, puffy breaths, I tried to get a handle on myself, but it wasn’t coming easily.

Did a kiss constitute as cheating?

Because if it did, then I had just committed adultery.

"Fuck," I groaned, banging my head against the bathroom door. "Fuck!"

This wasn't me.

I wasn't the type of woman who kissed other men.

Maybe I had more of my aunt Cam in me than I had my mother.

I needed to focus on what was in front of me.

When my phone vibrated again, I slid my finger across the screen and put it to my ear. "I have no idea why I just did that!" My chest was heaving, my words coming fast and clumsy in my rush to fix the monumental fuck up I had just created. "Please…" Cringing, I clenched my eyes and exhaled a pained breath. "Can we pretend that never happened… please?"

I held my breath as the seconds ticked by, and waited for his response.

"Forget what, HC?" Hunter finally asked, tone light.

His response was so fucking perfect I felt like crying.

Exhaling heavily, I allowed my shoulders to sag and whispered, "Thank you."

* * *

Lucky

Goddamn. This woman. She broke me.

Fuck, worse than breaking me, she fucking fixed me.

I didn’t ask for this shit.

I didn’t ask to feel again.

I was perfectly content with the way my life was rolling out before her.

And now?

Now I couldn’t fucking breathe, and it had nothing to do with the twenty pack of Marlboro I'd just consumed.

This woman wasn’t mine, she would never be mine, and still it didn’t stop me. I was willing to give it all to her, if she only wanted me to.

Fuck, I'd never been so twisted up in knots in my whole damn life.

If this was what it was all about, this love shit, then I was ready to throw my hand in and lay it all on the line for Hope Carter. See, she was still a Carter. That had to mean something. She never took his name. She wasn’t fully his. I still had hope…

Fuck me if I knew how I'd wrangled myself into a situation like this, but nevertheless, here I was. A fucking wreck willing to risk it all - my heart, my brain, my goddamn sanity - to be with a woman who bore the stamp of another man.

"Please…" Hope whispered down the line. "Can we pretend that never happened… please?"

Jesus Christ.

I couldn’t forget it.

If I lived another hundred years, I wouldn’t be able to erase the memory from my mind, or how unbelievably fucking right it felt when she put her mouth on mine.

For the millionth time in the past year, I wanted to burst in and drag her away, but I couldn’t.

This was her choice.

I couldn’t make this decision for her.

I couldn’t force her to choose me.

If he'd just stayed away, then she would be with me now.

I knew what she wanted.

I knew what she liked.

I knew exactly what she needed and I was more than willing to give it to her.

I knew she wanted me.

Problem was, she didn’t realize it yet.

But she was starting to. I saw it in her eyes when she broke our kiss. There was a brief look of wonder just before her face caved in to a tortured expression. There was a part of me that wanted to kick my own ass for making her feel so conflicted. But another part of me was glad she was finally waking up.

She cared about me, and her awareness of those feelings was waking her up from a lifetime of lying dormant.

"Forget what, HC?" I forced myself to ask, giving her exactly what she wanted.

"Do you think I screwed up our friendship beyond repair?" Her voice came down the line and I bit back the urge to roar. "Hunter?"

Closing my eyes, I dropped my head against the door I was leaning against. "You didn’t ruin anything," I whispered, playing along with her denial at the expense of my heart.

"You're sure?"

"Yeah," I choked out. "I'm sure."