I woke to the world's worst hangover and a conscience laden down with guilt.

I couldn’t face Jordan.

Not after what I'd done.

I was disgusted with myself.

I didn’t recognize myself anymore.

I wasn’t the woman I used to be.

I didn’t have the same morals or sense of right and wrong.

Everything was blurry now.

I was blurred.

My phone vibrated beneath my pillow. I didn’t need to check it to know who was calling me.

Hunter.

He wasn’t supposed to come into my world and turn everything on its ass.

There was no room, no extra space in my heart for a man like him.

But my heart, my traitorous heart, let him in all the same.

I didn’t put up a battle.

I didn’t fight him off.

I let him in – wholly and completely.

His was a friendship that turned into something more, something much deeper than he or I had ever anticipated.

My face flamed as I thought back to last night.

The memory of being in Hunter's arms, having his lips on mine, his hands touching me, pulling me closer, pushing inside me, wanting more from me than I knew I could give…

It was haunting me.

Being in his arms.

Craving his touch.

Reveling in the intimate way he caressed me.

His lips on mine.

His tongue in my mouth.

His tongue inside me.

Having him inside me.

I could blame my behavior on the alcohol, but it would be a lie. Because the truth of the matter was I wanted him to kiss me. And I was glad when he did.

I couldn’t erase him.

I couldn’t escape him and, worse, I didn’t want to.

My brother's voice filled my mind then…

"…You're not the first person in the world to fall in love with two people, and you won't be the last…"

Blanching at the thought, I threw my covers off, and forced Cam's words away.

Rolling out of bed, I bolted out of my room and straight into the shower.

I had to get a grip on this.

Wash it all away.

Force myself to forget about Hunter Casarazzi.

But how could I do that when he was so completed imbedded in my world?

Even if I wanted to erase him, I couldn’t.

My feelings for Hunter had hit me like an explosion.

It was like a light had been switched on inside of me, exposing me to sensations and feelings I had no idea what to do with.

And now? I couldn’t switch it back off.

I hadn't been expecting him to walk into my world and turn everything on its axis, and now I was standing in the carnage, desperately trying to sort through my emotions and clear my mind.

Hunter saw something inside of me, the part I kept hidden from the rest of the world, and he brought it to life. He made me feel like it was okay to be who I was.

He made me feel like it didn’t matter how badly I screwed up, or how many mistakes I made, because he would be there to love me through it all.

That was strange, terrifying, and addicting.

He was simply riveting to me.

And that terrified me.

Feeling numb, I remained in the shower until the water ran cold and my fingers turned blue.

Shivering violently, I continued to torment myself with my thoughts...

"I just want someone to love me…"

"Someone already does…"

"…I love you! Me, Hope. Me. I fucking love you…"

He brought me to life.

Things I never knew I could feel.

I felt them for him.

I felt them with I was with him.

This man set me on fire.

He made me feel wild and daring and free.

I'd never had that before.

He was bad and dangerous and worse than all my nightmares roll into one because he had the potential to break me worse than Jordan ever had.

Jordan.

Oh god, my heart constricted so tightly I felt like I was dying.

When I couldn’t stand the icy coldness a minute longer, I turned off the water and stepped out.

Wrapping a ratty old towel around my body, I trudged back to my room to get dressed.

My phone was vibrating on the bed when I returned, and I couldn’t stop myself from sinking down on the mattress and reaching for it.

My fingers shook as I held it in my hand and watched Hunter's name flash across the screen.

I was going to have to face him sooner or later.

Might as well bite the bullet and do it now.

Desire couldn’t be in the driving seat of my decision making.

It wasn’t real.

It wouldn’t last.

Lust and passion and craziness could only take a relationship so far.

Eventually, we would crash and burn.

That was the inevitability of Hunter and me.

It couldn’t last.

Feelings like the ones I had for him shone bright and crashed hard.

It wasn’t solid or stable.

It wasn’t permanent.

It would not last.

He wasn't my future.

He was just a… complication that needed to be squashed.

I wanted Jordan to be my first, last, and only love. That was the plan and Hunter Casarazzi was screwing with it.

Lines were blurring and I needed to keep them firmly in place.

I lost my head when I was in his presence last night.

I would not make that mistake again.

Swiping my finger across the screen, I pressed accept and pressed the phone to my ear. "Hello."

"So, you are alive," his familiar voice came from the line.

"Yeah," I whispered, pressing a hand against my hammering heart. "I'm still alive."

"Good," he replied. "For a while there, I thought you must have dropped off the face of the earth."

I sighed wearily. "Hunter…"

"Don’t ignore me, HC," he interrupted, tone serious now. "We need to talk about what happened last night."

"Yeah. We do." I sighed, my shoulders sagging from the weight of my conscience. "But I don’t want to do it over the phone." Cringing, I added, "Are you at home? I can come over."

"I'll be here," was all he replied.

"Okay, I'll see you in a bit." Hanging up the call, I flopped back on my bed and released a pained groan.

This was going to hurt.

But I had to cut him out.

Make the jump and erase him from my daily routine.

Even if the thought made me feel like dying.