"I'm in trouble, Cam." The words, hard as they were to admit, spewed out of my mouth, the urge to be comforted by the only other outcast in my family strong. "So much trouble."

"It's going to be okay," Cam assured me as he buckled me into the passenger seat of his Range Rover.

Seconds later, he was sitting beside me in the driver's seat and cranking the engine. He put the truck into gear and pulled out of his parking space.

"He kissed me tonight," I sobbed. "And I kissed him back."

"Lucky?"

I nodded in shame.

You did worse than let him kiss you, you little tramp…

"Well, shit," Cam muttered.

Yeah, shit!

"What am I going to do?" I wailed. Jordan's face entered my mind and I cringed in disgust. "I'm a terrible person."

"You're not a terrible person," Cam shot back.

"Omigod." I paled. "I'm Bryan Adams in Run to You." Turning to Cam, I gaped at him. "George in Careless Whisper." Whimpering in horror, I choked out, "Hunter is Dirty Diana and I am Michael!"

"It was a kiss, Hope," Cam scoffed.

I squirmed in discomfort, my face flaming with heat.

"It was just a kiss," Cam added slowly. "Right?"

I stared at him, unable to get the words out of my mouth and tell him what a horrible human being I was.

"Jesus, Hope," Cam groaned, reading the expression on my face like a book.

"I didn’t do any of this on purpose, Cam," I whispered, forcing myself not to cry. "I feel fucking horrible."

"I know." He sighed heavily before saying, "Christ, I saw this crazy-train coming a mile away."

"You did?"

"Come on, Hope," Cam growled. "Anyone within a thirty-mile radius of you two this past year could have seen this coming. The guy adores you," he added. "Fucking worships the ground you walk on."

"No, he doesn’t," I protested. "We were only supposed to be friends."

"Friends," Cam scoffed. "Let me tell you something, Sis. Luck's my friend, too, but I'd be seriously fucking worried if he looked at me the way he looks at you."

"Oh, god," I wailed. "It's all so fucked up!"

"Yeah, it is," Cam agreed.

"What do I do?"

"What do you mean?"

"How am I supposed to tell Jordan?" I choked out his name like it was poison on my tongue. "He's going to hate me."

"You're going to tell him?"

"You think I shouldn’t?"

Cam shrugged. "Hell if I know, Hope."

"God," I sobbed. "I fucked up so badly."

"I know."

"Then help me!"

"What am I supposed to do, Hope?" Cam shot back. "We're not kids anymore. I can't barge into the playground and kick their asses for upsetting you."

"I know. But I just… I need someone to fix me."

"You're not broken."

"I feel broken."

"You're drunk," he countered. "You'll feel better in the morning."

"I'll never feel better again."

"Don’t be so dramatic."

"Tell me what to do here, Cam?" I begged. "Please, just tell me!"

"Just… follow your heart," Cam tossed out, shifting uncomfortably in his seat. "And don’t worry about what anyone else thinks," he added, tone soft and reassuring. "Mom will get over it. And as for Dad?" Cam shook his head and exhaled heavily. "He's got your back, Hopey-Bear. Always. Same as the rest of us."

"I'm not leaving Jordan," I blurted out, horrified at the thought. "How could you even suggest that?"

"Listen, Hope. You're not the first person in the world to fall in love with two people," he stated calmly. "And you won't be the last."

"What are you talking about?" I shook my head in horror and held a finger up in protest. "I'm not in love with Lucky!"

"Of course, you're not," he shot back sarcastically. "You were begging me to leave you back there because you're not in love with him. You kissed him back tonight because you're not in love with the guy." He muttered a string of incomprehensible curse words under his breath before saying, "And you stare at him like he hung the fucking moon because you really don’t love him. I'm not blind, Hope Carter, and you're not stupid."

"I don’t!" I slurred, twisting in my seat to glare at him. "I only love Jordan."

I didn’t love Hunter.

I couldn’t love him.

I wouldn’t love him.

I refused to allow this man to disrupt my carefully compiled future.

He was wrong for me. Wild, unattainable, dangerous.

I did not want that.

"Goddammit, Hope," Cam hissed, losing his patience. "Don't you realize how fucking pathetic you look? Traipsing around after a guy who jilted you?" He slammed his hand against the steering wheel with temper. "Do you think we're all blind and can't see how fucking miserable you are with him? Well, we do. I see it. And so does Dad."

There he was!

The Cam I knew and loathed.

"Goddammit, you're so stupid, Hope!" he continued to say. "So fucking stupid."

"Excuse me?"

"You want to have what Mom and Dad have so badly that you're blinded to the fact that you're fucking it up for yourself."

"You don’t know anything about my situation, Cam!"

"I know you're miserable."

"Shut up, Cam," I growled, folding my hands across my chest. "I'm not talking about this with you anymore."

"Because you don’t want to hear the truth," Cam hissed as he ran a hand through his hair. "Well, news flash, sweetheart; the truth hurts!"

"He was raped!" I screamed. "I can't just walk away from him because things are hard right now." Tears were beginning to fill my eyes. "It's going to get better – he's going to get better." He has to. "And everything will be like it was before."

"Cut the shit, Hope!" Cam shot back. "It's not going to get better. This is who Jordan is now. This is what his life has molded him into, and god knows I don’t blame the poor fucking man for being the way he is. If it had been me in his shoes back then, I'd have slit my goddamn wrists a long time ago. But I'd be a liar if I said I don’t think it's a fucking crime that you're basing your future on the guilt you feel for what happened in his past."

"Please stop, Cam," I whispered, pressing my hand to my forehead. "I can’t hear this."

"No!" my brother hissed. "I won't stop. Someone has to try and talk some goddamn sense into you!" Raising a hand, Cam roughly dragged his fingers through his hair, his expression one of sheer exasperation. "You don’t have to do what you're doing, Hope. You don’t need to be with him because that's what people expect from you. Goddamn! One of these days, you're going to have to stand on your own two feet. You're going to have to live your life for you and no one else. Sure, some people may not like it, but guess what? You don’t have to care. What they think about you is none of your business. Stop trying to please every damn person on this fucking planet. Step out from that golden girl shrine you've been hidden under your whole damn life and make a decision because it makes you happy – not him or anyone else."

"I love him," I choked out.

"Do you?" he countered. "Do you really love him? Be honest with yourself and think about it before you answer that question."

"I don’t have to think about it," I screamed defensively, losing my patience. "I know my own mind, Cameron!" The fear of being hated and judged kept me from acknowledging what I truly felt inside – even to myself. "So just drop it!"

"Then I don’t know what to tell you, Hope," Cam replied wearily. "I really don’t."

He was quiet then, and didn’t speak for the rest of the ride.

I turned my face away and stared out the passenger window, but his words wouldn’t leave my mind.

They continued to haunt me the rest of the drive home, and long after when I was tucked up in bed.

I was not in love with Hunter Casarazzi.

He had no part in my future.

And I refused to entertain the notion.

Even if my heart demanded otherwise.