Somewhere beneath layers of spit up and other bodily fluids I’d prefer to not think about, I could still see traces of the first man I’d ever loved. Sadly, the sentiment had never been reciprocated, but against all odds, Grady and I had become and remained best friends. He was the one who convinced me it wasn’t necessary to be in a committed relationship to enjoy sex. And now, he sat across the living room from me, his newborn son cradled in his arms, his beautiful wife in the kitchen working on dinner. Yes, the former self-professed lone wolf had become the picture perfect family man.

“I know Jen’s a good cook, but why are you really here?” Grady asked.

I took a long draw from my beer, setting it carefully on a coaster. No water rings on Jen’s furniture. Just another way Grady’s life had shifted over the past year. I’d give my left nut for what they shared, but wouldn’t, because that meant trusting someone with both my secrets and my heart. Some risks in life weren’t worth the casualties.

“Talked to my dad last weekend,” I said, as though that should’ve been enough explanation as to why I’d made the ninety mile drive to see him.

“And?” Grady shifted in his chair, little Pax nestling deeper into the safety of his father’s embrace. How pathetic was I that I was jealous of a tiny human incapable of voicing his needs beyond random grunts and cries? I longed for the innocence of believing everyone in the world lived to protect you, that they’d always be there for you. I prayed that little boy never knew the harsh realities of the world he’d been born into.

“He’s getting out soon.” This wasn’t a shock to Grady. He’d been there the day my dad was sentenced to nine years in prison for his role in a Ponzi scheme. The same scheme, in fact, that’d robbed the Walsh family of a significant portion of their wealth. Like I said, our friendship was one that defied the odds.

“And? Seriously, so far you haven’t given me the slightest hint as to why you’re here.” Pax squawked and Jen snuck into the room to whisk him away. “Is he anxious to be a free man?”

I shrugged, not wanting to admit to Grady that we were both worried about how he’d fare on the outside. It didn’t matter that he’d maintained his innocence the entire time he was behind bars; a jury of his peers had found him guilty of the crimes. The job prospects for someone in his shoes weren’t exactly great, which was why he’d made the request he had last weekend.

“He wants me to drive down to North Carolina to see his brother.” The same brother who hadn’t once reached out to him since their parents had shunned Dad for knocking up the whore from the wrong side of the tracks. They weren’t wrong to tell him she’d never amount to anything, but he’d busted his ass to prove them wrong about how she’d pull him under. The egg donor skipped out days before my sixth birthday, leaving Dad a single parent trying to work his way through school. He called on the help of his friends, bartered for babysitting services, and graduated with honors. Worked his way from the ground floor to a senior investment advisor position. Life was great, until the day it all went to shit.

The man I’d put on a pedestal, the only person I relied on and trusted with my life, was ripped away from me, arrested for orchestrating a scheme to bilk investors out of millions of dollars. I sat helpless as everything he’d worked to provide for us was stripped away. Learned the shame of walking into the mall, having my credit card declined, and later finding out it was because the authorities had seized everything. I spent my sixteenth birthday in an even darker place than the one a decade earlier. I was completely alone, had recently come to understand trusting anyone to be there was a recipe for disaster, and had nothing to my name. From that moment on, I’d vowed to keep the world at a safe distance, but now Dad had asked me to reach out to his brother, see if it’d be possible for him to move down there and start his life over. He was counting on me and I wasn’t going to fail him the way I had when I hadn’t stopped the courts from taking the house, cars, and everything inside.

“Probably not a bad plan,” Grady said, excusing himself to grab a beer now that he was off kid duty. He sat back in the leather chair and rested his heels on the coffee table. “Staying around here probably isn’t the best idea for him. Maybe a quiet life in the country is just what he needs.”

I gaped at my friend, wondering how in the hell I’d gotten so lucky. He’d approached me following the sentencing and I’d squared my shoulders as I stalked away from him. I knew who he was, knew that I was the piece of shit kid whose father was nothing more than a thief. I’d heard it all before and wasn’t interested in hearing it from him, too. When he’d invited me to a diner around the corner, I convinced myself it was so he could kick my ass away from the reporters waiting outside the courthouse. When he told me nothing my father did changed who I was, I tripped over my own feet. It took some time, but he eventually agreed with my insistence that Dad hadn’t done the things he’d been accused of.

“Yeah, but this guy is a stranger,” I argued. “I’ve never met him and as far as I know, Dad hasn’t really had a relationship with him for over twenty years. But now, when it’s getting close to the end of Dad’s sentence, the long-lost brother is suddenly interested in rekindling a relationship with him. Sounds fishy to me.”

“That’s because you’ve learned to expect the worst in everyone.” Grady cocked his head to the side, silently daring me to dispute his accusation. I couldn’t, because it was one-hundred percent the truth. “If your dad’s willing to put the past in the past, maybe you need to to. You don’t know why your uncle didn’t contact him. I say you should take some of the vacation time you never use, get in your car, and see if Carolina countryside could be a good change of scenery.”

“He lives at the beach,” I corrected. And why in the hell did he think I’d move down there if Dad did? I liked my life in New York. My studio apartment was modest, but mine. I was within walking distance to most things, and a quick train ride from the rest. No way was I moving. If Dad felt like he needed to go down there to rekindle whatever with his brother, that was on him. We could keep in touch by phone, text, and the occasional visit.

“Even better!” Grady had always loved the beach. He used to say he was going to move to Florida someday, someplace like Miami where he could spend the days on the beach and his nights split between the clubs and over a warm, willing body. “Seriously, what’s the harm in you going down there to check the guy out?”

“Let’s start with the fact I don’t know the guy. He doesn’t know me other than what Dad’s told him in their letters. What if I get down there and he kicks my ass when he finds out his brother has a queer bastard child?”

“That’s not going to happen,” Grady scoffed. “Look, I know it’s been a shit time for you while your old man’s been locked up, but do you honestly think he’d ask you to do this if he thought his brother would hurt you in any way?”

“No.”

“And do you think he’d ask you to do him this favor if he thought it was a lost cause?” Why did Grady have to be the smart one? I hated it when he had logical arguments for my petulant nature.

“No.”

“And do you think, just maybe, your dad’s hoping this could be a fresh start for both of you?” Grady tipped back his beer, giving me the perfect opportunity to ogle the long lines of his neck, that spot just beneath his Adam’s apple where I used to nibble when we were in bed together. The juncture between neck and jaw where I used to — stop it. Grady’s the past. If you’re that horny, you need to get your ass back to the city and get laid, because you know better than to think anything will ever happen with him again. “Dude, were you checking me out?”

“No.”

“Liar.” Grady smirked and winked. Fuck, if only they hadn’t locked down their relationship when Jen had moved in. No one knew how to press my buttons the way Grady did.

With my mind firmly on the ‘I want Grady’s dick’ train, I decided he may have a point. Maybe Dad wasn’t the only one who needed a second chance at life. Maybe I needed a change of scenery as well, because my mind was a jumbled mess and I was tired of constantly being at war with my own thoughts. I sat up straighter on the couch, twisting my head to one side and then the other, chuckling at Grady’s gagging noises. He’d always hated the way I cracked my neck as if it was punctuation at the end of a deep thought.

“Maybe you’re right. I’m going to do it.” In six short weeks, Dad would be released from prison and he needed a place to land, needed a direction in his life before the depression could drag him under.

“That’s more like it.” Grady stood, motioning for me to follow him through the house. Dinner was served.

A pit formed in my stomach as I realized that if I did follow Dad to North Carolina, it’d mean the end of tortured weekends spent with the Walsh family. Even though our dynamic had changed over the years, they were my chosen family and I wasn’t ready to let them go.