“Play is the highest form of research.”
~Albert Einstein
“Delayed gratification is the highest form of foreplay.”
~Julius Shepherd
Rome expected me to return his sentiment right away but instead, I said, “Good. Now eat your pizza.” His light blue eyes held mine, searching. I saw a flicker of uncertainty, but then he blinked, and it was gone. Rome took a bite of his pizza while I chewed over the brief reaction I saw on his face. Did he worry he spoke too soon? Did he think I wasn’t as invested in our relationship or my feelings weren’t as strong as his? If so, he was very wrong. I would give him as many positive reinforcement lessons as it took for him to realize I was exactly where I wanted to be.
“I’m all yours too, Rome.”
He stopped eating and narrowed his eyes at me before he slowly resumed chewing. When he finished, he took a sip of the apple juice I’d brought him. “You’re trying to kill me, aren’t you?”
I chuckled. “No. Why would you say that?”
“You know how clumsy I get when I’m around you. For Christ’s sake, I can barely walk and talk at the same time when you look at me. I forget to breathe sometimes when we’re in the same room.” His voice was deep and gravelly, his face was flushed with want, and joy radiated from his crystalline eyes. “Yet, you make a declaration like that while I’m chewing? It’s a miracle you’re not having to perform the Heimlich right now.”
“It would give me an excuse for some mouth-to-mouth action,” I quipped.
“Yeah, I’d suggest we give it a try when we’re alone, but so far we’re batting zero.”
“I think we have the kissing thing down to an art,” I countered. I’d never heard my voice sound so rough and raw. Who knew banter could be considered foreplay?
Rome leaned forward and lowered his voice to a whisper. “I meant the other stuff. You know, me tripping over the table and falling on you.”
I leaned forward and lowered my tone to match his. The last thing we needed was someone overhearing us. “You landed right where I wanted you. And besides, you’re not clumsy.”
“What am I then?”
“Eager, and it’s a huge turn-on.”
“Really?” Rome sounded completely dumfounded by the notion. “How can you find that remotely sexy?”
“You might not know this, but I’ve had plenty of time to observe you without you knowing it. You move gracefully, speak eloquently and with sharp intelligence, and conduct your business with a level of professionalism I find incredibly sexy.”
“You do?” he asked.
“Oh yeah. So sexy.”
“Then how in the world can you find my stumbling and stuttering sexy too?”
I reached across the desk and covered his hand with mine. “Because only I affect you that way. With everyone else, there’s a cool aloofness about you even when your smile and tone of voice is warm. You’re friendly but unattainable because they don’t reach you on an elemental level. I break through those barriers and rattle your cage. And I like it. What you find ridiculous and awkward, I find alluring and real. I don’t want a smooth operator. I don’t want to be handled. Well, I do, but you know what I mean.” Rome’s wry smile said he wished he could handle me right then. My dick was hardening and lengthening in my pants, and I needed to pull myself together. His office wasn’t the right place for this conversation, but I couldn’t let him spend another second doubting that I wanted him. I started to pull my hand from his, but he rotated his wrist and recaptured it.
Rome lifted my hand and placed a kiss on my wrist, letting his lips linger there so he could feel the way my pulse raced for him. I couldn’t look away from the hungriness I saw in his eyes. If anyone popped their head in the office, they might think he looked like a vampire about to pierce my veins with his fangs. I saw only a wolfish man who wanted to devour and ravish me. My ass pucker tensed, wanting to be filled.
Priscilla’s ringing phone snapped us out of our lusty fog. Rome placed one last quick kiss on my wrist and released my hand.
“So, anyway, what are you doing for Thanksgiving?” I asked, needing to talk about anything that wasn’t sexy or could be twisted into something sexy.
“We usually go to Ashley and Ben’s for dinner, but they’re going skiing in Vale that weekend. Mom and Dad decided they would go to the nursing home and spend the day with Aunt Astrid and her friends. They invited me to join them, of course.”
“Would you like to spend the day with my family?”
Rome looked surprised by my invitation at first, but then he blessed me with the prettiest smile I had ever seen on another person. “Really? You don’t think they would mind?”
“My mom has been ‘silver fox’ this and ‘silver fox’ that since I first mentioned you. Marcus is dying to meet the guy who’s turned me ‘sappy.’ Camilla and Manny may not realize it yet, but they can’t wait to meet you too.”
“You talked about me to your mom?”
“More than I realized. It didn’t take her long to recognize my attraction to you. She looked up your photo on the internet and began hounding me about taking chances.”
“When?” Rome asked.
“When what?” I wasn’t following his question.
“I want to know when you first mentioned my name to your mom,” he explained.
“The first day we met.” I smiled at his stunned reaction.
“I know you said you felt the attraction that day, but I’m surprised you mentioned me to your mom.” Rome chuckled. “You were sure good at hiding your reaction. You looked like you couldn’t get away from me fast enough.”
“I was in a hurry to get away from the way you made me feel. I was already overwhelmed by the sudden changes occurring in my life, and there you were, making me feel breathless and stuff.”
“And stuff? What kind of stuff?” I quirked a brow in response. “Okay, this isn’t the place to have this conversation. Maybe these little lunches aren’t such a good idea.”
“We’ll learn to behave. I heard that delayed gratification is an excellent form of foreplay.” There I was causing trouble after I had lightly scolded him for doing the same thing.
“Eat!” Rome said, pointing to my plate. “You haven’t taken the first bite.”
I wanted to close the door and nibble on him, but instead, I picked up my rectangle of pizza and took a bite. It was surprisingly good. I forked a few bites of my salad in my mouth then recalled the first night I went to Rome’s house for dinner. I chortled as I remembered the way his face flushed from embarrassment.
“I know damn well what you’re thinking right now,” he said, pointing at my salad with his fork. He was trying to look and sound stern, but his quivering lips and the humor glinting in his eyes gave him away. “I swear these kids only create their secret language to make the rest of us look stupid. You’ll have to ask my sister about the time I learned what ‘Netflix and chill’ really meant.”
“Oh no,” I said. “I’m not waiting until I meet your sister to hear all about it.” I pointed my plastic fork at him. “Let’s hear it.”
Rome groaned. “You’re going to think I’m an old fool.”
“Rome, you’re not old and you’re definitely not foolish. I want to hear the story.”
“We have a family dinner at least once a month, and we rotate houses so one person isn’t doing all the work. One particular visit to Ashley and Ben’s, I announced I was going home to Netflix and chill. My oldest niece, Lauren, said ‘good for you, Uncle Rome.’ I didn’t understand why rushing home to binge-watch Miss Fisher’s Murder Mysteries earned such high praise from her, but I liked that she thought I was cool.”
“Uh oh,” I said, sensing trouble.
“Yeah,” he agreed huskily. “So, I said as much as I liked to Netflix and chill, I would prefer to find a nice guy to join me. The look on her face. She was horrified and said, ‘TMI, Uncle Rome.’ I was thwarted by a language that might as well be foreign to me.”
I couldn’t contain my laughter if someone offered me a million dollars. Luckily, Rome laughed right along with me instead of getting pissed. How could he not? It was fucking hilarious.
“But wait! There’s more,” he said, sounding like an infomercial. “At my old high school, one of the boys bragged to his buddies in the hallway that he received a hummer the night before, and I heartily congratulated the kid and gave him a fist bump. It was much later that I realized he was talking about getting a blow job and not a new SUV.”
“I…can’t…” I laughed until I gasped for air and tears ran down my face.
“Do you realize we spend as much time laughing together as we do anything else?” Rome asked when the laughter started to fade. “It’s so wonderful I’m not even mad that it’s at my expense most of the time.”
No one affected me the way he did. I laughed harder, my heart beat faster, and my senses were heightened until he was all I could taste, feel, see, and hear. Just him. I cupped his handsome face and stroked my thumb over his square jawline. “There’s nothing I would change about us, Rome. Nothing.”
He leaned into my touch, closed his eyes, and sighed. It felt like he truly believed we could have something real and sustaining for the first time. When he opened his eyes, I knew I was right. No doubt. No hesitation. Only soul-deep gratification. “Me either.”
My watch buzzed when my timer went off. I’d set it before I came over with lunch because getting lost in his eyes was a big possibility.
“That’s my cue to head back.” I started to put my plate back on the tray, but Rome stopped me.
“Either finish eating your pizza here or eat it on the way back to class. I’ll take the tray back to the cafeteria because I have more time than you do.”
“Are you sure?”
“Positive,” he replied with a firm nod. “Wise people told me I’m as prepared for this meeting as I’m going to be because all I have to do is speak from the heart.”
“That’s what I want to hear,” I told him.
I finished off my pizza then battled the urge to kiss Rome goodbye. In the end, I leaned my forehead against his, sharing air with him for a few seconds before I pulled away. “I’ll see you in a few hours.”
“Yes, you will.”
The board had debated whether having the meeting in the school gym on a Friday night before a home football game was wise. They worried the Blissville residents’ main focus would be on the game, and only the POS group would show up for the public meeting. They were wrong. The gym bleachers were already packed with students and parents by the time I arrived. They held up signs supporting the play, the kids who wrote it, and the school board for putting it on. Looking around the gym, it was easy to tell who the POS members were by the scowls they wore on their face. So many people kept filing in that we had to set up rows of folding chairs on the basketball court to accommodate them. They wore shirts or sweatshirts showing off their school spirit. I knew most of them were dressed to attend the game, but it warmed my heart to see so many of them stop by the board meeting first.
Priscilla gave me a friendly wave and an encouraging smile from the front row of the bleachers. I winked at her and gave a thumbs up to Howie who sat beside her. The older man’s face turned pink, but he smiled shyly. I was glad to see the big guy was no longer in the doghouse.
I joined the faculty standing along the wall opposite from where Roy Halifax and his POS posse waited for the meeting to start. They’d huddled together with lowered heads and joined hands, praying for God’s intervention on their behalf. In my head, I imagined the men would all look like Joe Dirt or Dog the Bounty Hunter, and the women would resemble the infamous county clerk from Kentucky who refused to issue marriage licenses to same-sex applicants. That was my ignorance and own prejudices talking, and I should’ve known better. Hatred didn’t discriminate. It resided in the hearts of people regardless of their race, education, religion, or orientation. Knowing that, I was still surprised to see them look so…ordinary. They didn’t dress or style their hair differently. They hadn’t showed up with an angry mob with protest signs, but I wasn’t fooled. This was a group of deceitful people who threw together a phony petition thinking the board would back down under pressure.
They broke apart when the board members and Rome entered the gym and filled the empty chairs on either side of the podium. Across from the board, a lone table was set up with two chairs and a microphone. One of the men broke away from the group after hugs and handshakes from his supporters and approached the table. He nodded to the board and sat down.
Caitlyn Simpson rose from her chair and approached the podium. She smiled at the crowd and acknowledged Roy Halifax with a nod then turned on the microphone. “Good evening. I want to thank everyone for coming tonight. I would ask that the crowd remain quiet throughout the meeting and that we all show respect to those speaking. Anyone who disrupts the meeting will be escorted out of the building.” She gestured toward the door to my right and we all turned to see a mountain of a man standing just inside the gym. Marcus had football players on his team that would envy the expanse of shoulders on the cop. Of course, maybe the impression of his size had more to do with the fact his perfectly pressed uniform was at least two sizes too small. His eyes locked on mine, and he smiled before swaggering his way toward me. He was sexy for sure with his dark hair, obsidian eyes, and perfectly trimmed mustache and goatee, but not sexier than my silver fox who claimed more and more of my heart each day.
I turned my attention back toward the proceedings without acknowledging him. My gaze clashed with Rome’s and an amused smile curved the right side of his mouth before he returned his attention to Caitlyn.
“Mr. Halifax, the floor is yours. To keep this meeting running smoothly, I’m going to limit you to fifteen minutes, and then we’ll hear a rebuttal from our superintendent, Dr. Romeo Bradley.”
“Yes, ma’am,” Roy said. “Thank you for hearing me out.”
“The floor is yours and the time starts now.”
“Madame President, board, Dr. Bradley,” he said politely. “I’m here today on behalf of Preserve Our Society to ask that you reverse your decision to permit these high school kids from performing Inside Out as the school play.” He started in on all the reasons why a play pushing a “liberal agenda” would tear down the foundation of the American family.
I tuned him out and kept my eyes locked on Rome’s face. Roy Halifax wasn’t saying anything I hadn’t heard before, and I had no interest in hearing it again. I just hoped his poison arrows weren’t piercing the hearts of the vulnerable kids in the stands. How many of those kids sitting in the crowd were wrestling with their identities? I didn’t just mean their sexuality, either. I meant their whole being. There was so much damn pressure on these kids to know exactly what they wanted for their futures that they didn’t have time to just…be.
I tuned back in when Halifax said, “That’s all I have to say. Thank you for listening.” I noticed the time on the huge clock hanging on the adjacent wall. I’d just lost twelve minutes of my life I could never get back.
“Thank you, Mr. Halifax. The board will now hear from Dr. Romeo Bradley.”
I watched as my man rose from his seat and strode to the podium with confidence and poise. He stole my breath away. I was beyond proud that he was mine, and I was his. Rome greeted the crowd and the board with fondness and Mr. Halifax with civility before he began his speech.
“I cannot begin to tell you how much I would’ve loved seeing a play like Inside Out when I was a teenager. Maybe I wouldn’t have felt so alone and isolated thinking that I was the only kid in the school who felt different from everyone else. For me, I felt like the odd man out because I wasn’t attracted to girls like the other guys were. Other kids in my school probably felt odd because their skin color was different, or they had less money than some of the others, or maybe they practiced a different religion than the majority of the student body. Then there are the physical things we hate about our bodies. We weren’t tall enough, skinny enough, and we weren’t athletic enough. Maybe a student wanted to be a dancer, but her parents said a law degree was the only acceptable path. Haven’t we all felt like we didn’t fit in at some time in our lives?
“Inside Out isn’t about pushing any kind of agenda, Mr. Halifax. The play isn’t about religion or politics; it’s about humanity, sir. I’ve read this play in its entirety twice because I’ve been asked to direct it. There is not one scene in the play that doesn’t depict the kind of humanity we should all strive for. We aren’t telling kids they should be gay, we’re telling them we love them if they are. We’re telling a kid the sum of their value isn’t based on their appearance, socioeconomic status, religion, or orientation, but the kind of human being they are and how they treat others, Mr. Halifax. There are no sexual, political, or violent situations in this play. These are kids navigating the challenges they face while pulling strength from those around them. In my opinion, this play should be performed by every high school in the country. That’s all I have to say, Madame President. Thank you for the opportunity to share my feelings.”
Rome’s eyes sought mine once he returned to his chair, and I let the huge smile on my face speak for me.
Caitlyn rose to her feet and faced the rest of the board members. I couldn’t hear what she said but they all shook their heads in response to whatever she asked. “Once again, I want to thank everyone for coming. I’ve just asked the board if we need to have a discussion before we vote, and they’ve each declined. All of those in favor of upholding the board’s approval of Inside Out as our school play say aye.”
Every member of the board raised their hand and said, “Aye.”
“There you have it. The show must go on,” Cynthia said. Cheers erupted in the gymnasium as the student body celebrated their victory. I saw Clara, Ellie, and Curtis clinging to each other in a group hug.
“Hi,” a deep voice said from beside me. I turned and looked at the cop who’d moved even closer at some point during the meeting. “I’m Joey.” He extended his hand which I accepted with a friendly smile.
“Hi. I’m taken.”
“Figures,” he said with a snort. “It’s good to meet you anyway.”
“Likewise.”
Joey ambled a few feet away and returned his attention to the POS members who huddled together across the gym talking animatedly. Many of the students greeted me or gave me high fives as they left the gymnasium and headed to the football game that was set to kick off in ninety minutes. Rome spoke with the board members for a few more minutes before he sought me out.
“Congratulations, Dr. Fancy Pants.”
“You’ve just been biding your time to use that phrase.”
“Yep,” I admitted.
“I’m so relieved this is over,” Rome said with a sigh. “I’m looking forward to auditions next week.”
I just happened to glance across the gym and caught the POS group staring at us. I figured we hadn’t heard the last of them, but I wasn’t about to let them ruin our night. “Want a date for the football game tonight?”
“That would be a first for me,” Rome said. “There was no way I could’ve gone with a boyfriend when I was in high school.”
“It wasn’t acceptable when I was in high school either, and that was only ten years ago,” I pointed out. “I didn’t officially come out until I was in college.”
“It’s a date then.”
Beneath the full moon and the Friday night lights, Rome and I cheered with the crowd as the Blissville Bulldogs beat the East Carter Cardinals twenty-eight to zero. Somewhere in the fourth quarter, I had an epiphany that was bigger than the victory over hate and our cross-county rivals. I, Julius Aaron Shepherd, was in love with Rome Fancy Pants Bradley.
The following night was the homecoming dance. I had signed up to chaperone before we started dating and regretted the loss of a quiet Saturday night at home together. I couldn’t recall when I started to think of his house as home, but more and more of my stuff ended up there, and I rarely stayed in the garage apartment anymore. I’d only gone home long enough to dress in my snazzy suit and grab some more clean clothes.
“We better get a move on or else we’re going to be late,” Rome said, jogging down the steps. “Oh.” He skittered to a halt. He wasn’t used to seeing me in formal clothes since I normally wore khakis and a BHS polo shirt when I taught. The only other time I dressed formally was during our positive reinforcement lesson. “Jules, you look breathtaking.” I knew I looked fine in my navy blue suit and red bow tie, but I only had eyes for him. He’d chosen a dove gray suit I’d never seen before and paired it with a lavender shirt a few shades lighter than the tie he wore.
“You look beautiful,” I said.
“I wanted to look nice since this is the first homecoming I’m attending with a date.” He crooked his finger at me to follow him into the kitchen. “I have a surprise for you.” Rome shifted several things around in his refrigerator and pulled out a clear plastic box he’d hidden inside. “I wasn’t sure what color suit you were going to wear, so I went with ivory roses and baby’s breath.” I could tell Rome was nervous because he spoke fast and struggled to open the box with the boutonnieres inside.
I placed my hand on the back of his neck, and he jerked his gaze up to meet mine. I moved in with my preferred method of calming him. The kiss was short, but it did the trick. “They’re beautiful, and I will wear this proudly tonight.” I adored the dazed look on his face and the way his hands shook. Taking the box from him, I said, “Let me.” I chose a boutonniere from the box then set it on the counter. “You’re my first homecoming date too,” I confessed as I pinned the rose to his lapel. “I’m glad I waited and can share this first with you.”
“Jules,” Rome whispered my name like it was a prayer. “I wish I could hold you in my arms and dance tonight.”
“We will when we get home. We’ll turn the lights down low, open a bottle of wine, and dance as long as we want.” Rome’s eyes lit up when I referred to his house as home.
“I’m going to be thinking about holding you in my arms every time our eyes meet across the gym floor.”
“I’ll be thinking about what happens afterward,” I confessed. “You’ve heard of the term dancing your socks off, right?” Rome nodded. “I won’t stop there. We’ll keep dancing until all our clothes hit the floor and I’m holding you skin-to-skin in my arms.”
“Wow. You scientists sure know how to heat a man’s blood.”
“Pin your flower on me,” I said huskily. I wanted everyone to see I belonged to him.
Rome picked the flower up from the box and pinned it to my jacket. “There. I didn’t even stab you.”
The energy in the gymnasium was high and contagious, preventing me from pouting too hard. The glaring overhead fluorescents were turned off and temporary lights were set up to illuminate the makeshift dance floor. Some of the lights were shining through prisms and projecting rainbows onto the walls and floor like you’d see from a disco ball. The DJ played the perfect mix of fast and slow dances, and I enjoyed watching the kids dance and celebrate. I especially loved the times my eyes caught Rome’s across the dark room. I knew he was remembering the promise I made to him before we left.
I smiled especially wickedly when “Lights Down Low” by Max started to play. The kids took to the floor to slow dance while I stared into Rome’s eyes. So much longing and need passed between us.
When we got back home, I replayed the song so we could have our own dance. Rome’s lips were on my neck and my hands were in his hair as we turned slow circles in the living room. As I promised, I didn’t stop dancing with him until we were both stripped bare.
“I need you,” I whispered against Rome’s neck once I removed his shirt.
Rome shoved my pants to the floor and gripped my ass. “I want inside you.”
“Touch me.” I wrapped Rome’s hand around my cock. He stroked me until I pulled away and dropped to my knees in front of him.
Rome fisted his dick and painted my lips with his precum. “Taste me.”
“Make love to me,” I pleaded when I could no longer handle the emptiness. When Rome sank inside my heat, there wasn’t a part of us that wasn’t connected in some way. I loved being tangled up in his arms and legs. We clung to each other like we couldn’t stand the thought of letting go. Both of us came to Blissville for fresh starts but what we found was more than either of us had bargained for.
“Inside out,” I whispered against Rome’s neck once I lay replete against his dewy body. It was both the name of the play that brought us together and the way he made me feel. Everything inside me was laid bare for Rome to see. Instead of feeling vulnerable, I felt strong, desired, and adored.
“I feel it too.”