“Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new.”
~Albert Einstein
“It’s okay to fall on your ass. It’s why we were born with a cushion.”
~Julius Shepherd
“Dinner at his place, huh?” Mom asked. I could hear the humor in her voice coming through the speakers in my car. “What’s he making?”
I’d called her on the way home from Marcus’s game to let her know how it went since she was unable to watch it on television. Mom was excited to hear my baby brother had a standout game against a big rival, but her attention swiftly turned to my love life. She was very excited to hear I’d accepted Rome’s dinner invitation.
“Chicken parm,” I replied.
“Make sure you wear good underwear.”
I snorted. “Mom, it’s just dinner.”
“That’s how it always starts. I want you to have a great night with your silver fox. Be safe, Julius.”
“Always, Mom. You know, you could always find your own silver fox to lavish all your attention on.”
“Julius…” she chided softly, letting her voice trail off.
“Dad wouldn’t want you to spend all your time working at the hospital followed by lonely nights at home, Mom. He’d want you to have someone special in your life.”
“I can finally admit he would want me to find happiness again, Jules. I promise you I will make an attempt if a silver fox comes along and catches my eye.”
“You have to be looking up for that to happen, Mama. Love only miraculously finds people in those Hallmark Christmas movies. Then again, if you’re watching your feet when you walk, you might run into a handsome fella who also isn’t paying attention to his surroundings. Then you’ll look into each other’s eyes and just know.”
“Listen to you now. You give in to one date after leading that man around by his nuts for months and you’re a dating expert now, huh? Who the hell are you and what have you done with my son Julius? You must’ve been snatched out of your bed by aliens and returned to earth with one of them invading your body.”
“Mom, really? An alien invaded my body and the first thing he does is start watching sappy movies on Hallmark.”
“Better than Lifetime because he might want to start killing people instead of romancing them.”
As was typical with my mother, our conversation had veered way into left field, or outer space if I listened to her. “I haven’t been snatched by aliens, Mom. I just…” I wasn’t sure how to say this without stirring up all kinds of pain. If she taught me anything at all, it was to be direct and speak with honesty. “I want what you and Dad had.”
“Baby, I want that for you too. You don’t know how happy I am to hear you say that. Every person needs to be loved like your father loved me, Jules. Maybe Romeo Bradley is the man to love you until you’re breathless, or maybe he’s not. You won’t know unless you try. If there’s one thing a scientist knows, it’s never give up. Things don’t always work out the first time in science or love, so we keep trying until we find the right formula.”
I loved it when my mom put things in a scientific perspective. Of course, love is sometimes hard for scientists to grasp. Numbers, equations, and formulas we can understand. To many scientists, the heart is nothing more than the organ that pumps blood through our veins. I wasn’t among them. I’ve felt my heart swell with pride, happiness, and love. I’ve also felt it break. Sure, the brain is the mainframe computer of our bodies, but I will not discredit the heart and the way it reacts to the emotions our brains detect. The two work in tandem until they’re conflicted about what they want.
My heart wants Romeo Bradley; my brain thinks it’s a big mistake. Will I take a chance and put myself out there for Rome or will I retreat because it’s safer? Only time will tell which of those two organs would win.
“I love you, Mom.”
“I love you too. Call me soon and give me the details of your night.”
“Details?”
“Not those kinds of details, J. We have a strong relationship, but let’s not get carried away. Besides, it’s just dinner, right?”
“Right. I’ll make sure to describe the dinner in minute detail.”
“You can be such a wiseass. Your father would be so proud.” The warmth and love in her voice made me smile. She would always love my dad, but that didn’t mean she couldn’t love someone else too.
It also reminded me of the conversation I had with Rome over coffee when he talked about Howie coping with grief. He made it sound like he too had lost someone special, and I didn’t get the feeling he was talking about a parent.
“I hope so,” I replied.
“I know so, J. Talk to you soon.”
“Goodnight, Mom.”
The thing I disliked most about fall was how early darkness fell. I found Rome’s house easily based on his directions, but I shouldn’t have been worried in a town the size of Blissville. Even though it was dark, I knew what his house looked like because I’d driven by it many times before without knowing it was his home I was coveting. It was a bungalow-style home painted a cool dark gray with white trim around the windows, a large covered porch, and a dark red front door. The exterior of the home was both cool and warm and combined old-world elegance with contemporary touches. I thought the dichotomy represented the man who resided beneath the slate gray metal roof.
I wasn’t sure what kind of wine he liked, so I bought a bottle of white and red wine. On a whim, I also grabbed a bouquet of flowers and a toy for Dolly at the supermarket. I felt a little silly and second-guessed myself after I rang the doorbell and waited for him to answer. I looked for a place to stash the flowers until I left, but Rome answered the door before I could put my plan into action.
“Hi,” he said, sounding and looking tense. Rome glanced down and smiled when he saw the flowers in my hand. “Please come in.” He stepped aside so I could enter.
The living room was beautiful and immaculately decorated. The walls were painted a slate blue-gray and were decorated with black-and-white canvas prints of cities from all over the world. Rome had real hardwood floors, not the laminate that was so popular. They looked like someone had refinished them recently with a dark stain that was warm, and inviting. Throw pillows the same deep red as his front door decorated the gray and cream striped sofa and chairs. The various types of plants strategically placed around the room was a lovely touch and a telltale sign that the inhabitant was a nurturer. Dolly was nestled on a blanket in the corner of the couch wagging her tail but not giving up her cozy spot to greet me.
I handed the wine and flowers to Rome. “These are for you.” He accepted them and buried his nose in the bouquet of lilies, carnations, and roses. “I couldn’t decide on white or red wine, so I bought both.”
“I would’ve been happy with either. Thank you for the flowers, Jules. They’re beautiful.”
We both sounded so stiff, formal, and uncomfortable like neither of us had ever dated before meeting one another. I suspected Rome was concerned he would come across too strong. He was likely feeding off the tension I emitted. If I relaxed, then he would too.
“Your brother had a great game today. I bet he was excited for breaking the school’s record for interceptions.” I was surprised he watched, but then again, I wasn’t. Marcus was important to me, and therefore, he’d become important to Rome if we ever got past this awkwardness.
Without thinking it through, I leaned forward and kissed Rome. The urge to cup his face and deepen the kiss was strong enough to make my knees weak, but I pulled back. I slowly opened my eyes, savoring the way my lips tingled from the brief contact. A relaxed smile and dazed eyes greeted me, telling me I’d made the right decision.
“That was lovely but very unexpected.”
“You looked like you were stretched tight enough to snap, and I knew it was my fault. I wanted to put you at ease instead of us trying to make clumsy conversation.”
“I truly was excited about your brother’s accomplishment.” I saw the sincerity in his eyes, and it only made me want to kiss him again, but Dolly barking from the couch stopped me from reaching for him again.
“I have something for you too, little lady.”
I pulled the stuffed toy shaped like a latte out of the bag and walked across the room to give it to her. She sniffed it suspiciously at first then snatched it out of my hand and shook it vigorously. “I think she likes it.”
“That’s the cutest dog toy ever. Thank you.”
“I thought it was appropriate to commemorate the first day she and I met.”
Rome reached for my hand and linked our fingers, and I loved that his hesitation from before was completely gone. He acted on instinct which was exactly what I wanted. “Come keep me company while I find a vase for my flowers and put the finishing touches on dinner.”
“It smells delicious,” I said as he led me through a dining room and into a spacious kitchen. The cabinets had a dark cherry finish which complemented the black marble countertops. Rome’s appliances were top-of-the-line stainless steel and belonged to a man who loved to cook. I loved the little pops of red color from the coffee maker, canisters, and stand mixer. The walls in the kitchen were painted ivory to balance out the darkness of the other materials. More plants sat in the window above the sink. “You have a lovely home.”
“Thank you,” Rome replied. “I’d love to take credit for the design, but I can’t. I hired Dare to decorate it for me. He did a phenomenal job.”
“Dare? My landlord?” I asked as if there were more than one living in the small town.
“Yeah, he used to work part-time as a designer at a furniture store nearby. He needed full-time work which Josh offered him as a salon manager. It has also allowed him to start his own interior design company. I was one of his first clients. The guy knows his stuff.”
“He did a great job here.”
When Rome turned his back on me to reach a vase on the top shelf of his cabinet, I used the time to study him. He wore a dark gray V-neck knit sweater that clung to his torso and arms and dark denim that fit him like a glove, showing off the rounded swells of his ass. Rome had long, lean legs that reminded me of a runner or soccer player. Then I noticed his bare feet sticking out from beneath the legs of his jeans. I never knew bare feet could look so sexy. Maybe it wasn’t so much his feet that appealed to me, but what they signified. It meant he was relaxed and comfortable enough around me he didn’t need to wear shoes, which only made his nervousness when I first arrived more endearing.
I let my eyes wander back up his legs and settle once more on his ass, which was when he turned around and caught me ogling him. I grinned unabashedly. He had a fine ass. What’s not to appreciate?
“The breadsticks will be ready in about five minutes then we can eat. I’ll open a bottle of wine and let it breathe. Red or white?” Rome asked me.
“You pick.”
“Okay,” he said then winked. “We’ll save the other bottle for next time.” Next time. Rome ended up choosing the red wine. “I’m going to put you in charge of music.”
“What do you like?” I asked.
“Anything. I have very eclectic tastes. I have a vinyl record collection I’ve been working on all my life, more CDs than any one person needs, and I also have thousands of songs downloaded to my phone. I would love to hear more of your original music someday.” And, someday, I would let him. I was more curious about his collections though. “Seriously, feel free to look around.” He gestured to the huge entertainment center that took up an enormous chunk of wall space. It was too big and modern to be something he purchased from a store.
“Who made this for you?” I asked once I was standing in front of the ornate metal structure. There were typical level shelves for books, sculptures, and picture frames, but other sections had smaller shelves at angles for unique ways of stacking CDs. Sporadically placed throughout the unit were taller sections that were perfect for vinyl record jackets. The entire thing might’ve looked industrial if it wasn’t for the intricate and delicate metalwork in between the storage units. It reminded me of the popular metal art people hung on their walls, except these were built into the unit. They weren’t the typical family trees, butterflies, or flowers I was used to seeing displayed above fireplace mantels. These looked like they were tailored for the beautiful man in the kitchen. There was the half mask I associated with Phantom of the Opera, an intricate sunrise, a pair of running shoes, a convertible car that looked like an old Mustang, Brutus the Buckeye, and two entwined hearts above a picture frame that was permanently built into the structure. Inside the frame was a photo of two men dressed in suits. They stood looking at one another with huge smiles and so much love in their eyes. My heart squeezed inside my chest when I recognized a much younger Rome was the man standing on the left. He was cupping the taller man’s face and looked as if he were wiping away tears of joy. I instantly knew the man on the right was the reason Rome could relate so well to Howie’s heartbreak from losing his wife.
“That’s Peter,” Rome said softly. I was so caught up in looking at the shelf and staring at the photo of Rome and Peter I hadn’t heard him walk up behind me. Rome placed his hand at the small of my back, and I relaxed into his touch. “He made this massive beast as an anniversary present. He locked me out of the garage for months while he built it.”
“It’s a beautiful work of art.”
“Peter got so tired of me storing my records and CDs in ‘the tackiest possible ways’ all over our house and designed this.”
“How tacky?” I asked, wanting to know that side of Rome and not just the neat and orderly vibe I picked up from him all the time.
Rome groaned, and I turned away from the picture to look into his blue eyes. “The worst! I’m talking fruit crates and any hideous thing I could find that would hold my treasures.”
“You strike me more as an IKEA guy,” I said, gesturing around the clean, modern room. “You’re always so neat when I see you. There’s never a wrinkle in your shirt or a crooked tie around your neck.”
Rome snorted. “You’ve met my secretary. Do you think she’d let me represent such an esteemed position in a wrinkled shirt and an askew tie? I keep extra shirts in my closet because I can be a bit of a train wreck with condiments.”
“Huh. I never would’ve guessed.”
“Are we okay here? Do you have questions you want to ask?” Rome sounded worried and I wanted—needed—to put him at ease.
“About your slovenly ways?”
Rome’s deep chuckle warmed me in places that had gone cold seconds before when I saw proof he was a man who’d loved hard. Was there room for anyone else in his heart? “I was talking about Pete.”
“I could tell by our conversation this morning about Howie you were a man who’d experienced great love and an equally great loss.”
Rome nodded. “Some days, it feels like Pete died just yesterday, and other days, I struggle to remember his voice.” He shook his head. “This isn’t exactly the tone I wanted to set on our first date. First, I sound and look as stiff as a robot when you arrive, and then—”
I silenced him with another soft kiss. I allowed my lips to linger a little longer than the first time, but I didn’t slide my tongue between his lips when they parted to gasp in surprise. I cupped the back of his neck and rested my forehead against his. “I’m attracted to your realness.”
“Maybe I should make a fool of myself more often,” he said then chuckled. I hated the idea of anyone besides me in Blissville seeing this vulnerable side of him. I opened my mouth to express the sentiment, but the oven timer went off.
“How about we continue this conversation over dinner?”
“Sounds great.” Like after our first kiss, Rome linked our fingers together and led me to the kitchen.