“Life need not be easy, provided only that it’s not empty.”
~Lise Meitner
“Nothing worth having is easy. Surround yourself with love, not stuff.”
~Julius Shepherd
Neither of us said much on the ride back to the hotel beyond Rome telling Stevens where we were staying. I’d learned early on that Rome and I communicated in many ways that didn’t involve words. We could have an entire conversation with just our eyes, but my favorite form of nonverbal communication was touch. The firm way he held my hand in the back seat of the Mercedes said he didn’t want to be apart from me, the press of his hand to the small of my back when we walked through the hotel lobby said he claimed me as his own, and the tender press of his lips against mine in the elevator said he cherished me.
“I haven’t taken a bubble bath since I was a kid,” I confessed once the tub began to fill with fragrant bubbles. “I’m not sure I’ll like it.”
“It’s not a deal breaker if you don’t,” Rome said, letting his cape fall to the bathroom floor. He pulled his jacket off next and dropped it down too before going to work on his frilly, silk shirt.
“You’re a bit messy,” I said, pulling my polo shirt over my head. I folded the shirt and set it on top of the counter. “But I won’t hold it against you.”
“You’re a bit of a neat freak,” Rome countered. “But I can live with it.”
I crossed the brief space and replaced his hands on the fastenings of his velvet pants with my own. “I’ve been wanting to strip these off since the moment I saw you in them.”
“Yeah? Well, I’ve been wanting to do this all night long.” Rome slipped his hand beneath the hem of my shorty shorts, ran his warm palm up my inner thigh, and cupped my package. I started hardening and lengthening once he began massaging me with firm, confident strokes. “God, I love how you respond to me.”
I pushed his pants down to his thighs then cupped his luscious ass, loving how he moaned. “I love how needy you sound right now.”
Rome’s response came in the form of a long, wet kiss that, combined with his fondling, made it nearly impossible for me to think of anything else except how good he’d feel wrapped around my cock. I could tell things between us were quickly heating up, and the conversation I wanted to have would soon be forgotten if I didn’t put the brakes on. Rome had said all the right things in the bathroom in Frank and Heather’s house, but I needed more. Walking into the lavish party was the first time I’d felt insecure about our young relationship.
I reluctantly broke our kiss but didn’t go very far. “I thought we were going to talk?” I whispered against his lips.
“So, let’s talk. We can do it naked in the bathtub so we both get what we want. Compromise, yeah? I will bare my soul, but I’d prefer to do it while wrapped around you. We can get everything out in the open and wash it away.” Suddenly, the idea of taking a bubble bath didn’t sound so ridiculous.
We stripped the rest of our clothes off and sank down in the bubbles. Rome, true to his word, straddled my hips and got as close to me as he could without burrowing inside me. His hands roamed over my body as he talked about a life and love that didn’t include me. It should’ve hurt me on some level, but his adoring expression and soothing caresses on my face, chest, shoulders, and back showed he was with me, not living in the past. I was his future. Instead of being jealous, I was grateful Rome had been loved so thoroughly.
“Our relationship wasn’t perfect, and we had our share of problems,” he confided. “We fought hard when we disagreed. Nothing physical,” he corrected when he saw and felt me tense. “Raised voices, a few slammed doors, and I spent many nights on the couch in our tiny apartment or in the spare bedroom once we purchased our house.”
“What kinds of things did you argue about?”
“The same stuff as everyone else. I know the heterosexual world would expect us to have a bitch-slapping throwdown over who was better between Bette and Cher, but it was always about finances, jobs, not having enough time together, and the biggest battle was over family.”
“He didn’t like your family?” The idea was a little bothersome since I was meeting them in the morning.
“No, he loved my family, and I adored his,” Rome replied.
“I’m confused,” I admitted. “Did you fight over where you would go for the holidays then? I’m sure it’s hard to blend families and traditions in a way that doesn’t leave a family feeling excluded or second best.”
Rome chuckled. “That wasn’t it either.” I could tell he wasn’t comfortable answering the question but there was no way I was letting him off the hook. I decided to wait patiently while he chose his words. “We fought about having children. That is the one area that I don’t think couples can compromise on without someone becoming bitter.”
Ah. Things clicked into place. I knew Rome wanted to be a father even if he hadn’t told me. I saw the dozens of pictures of his nieces all over his house, and he fussed over babies every time we came across one in public. He was dad material, and the idea of him never fulfilling that dream made my heart ache. “You wanted children, but Peter didn’t.”
“Yes,” Rome admitted. “I didn’t realize it at first. The idea of us adopting kids was so far out of reach for the longest time. Suddenly our gay friends are adopting kids or hiring surrogates, and I began to hope we would do the same someday.” Rome shook his head. “I was so caught up in my fantasies I didn’t notice Peter’s lack of enthusiasm each time one of our friends expanded their family until one night he exploded in our bedroom. We’d just come home from another baby shower I had dragged him to, and he was sick to death of baby talk. ‘I thought the whole point of being gay men was not being held to heteronormative bullshit standards. Marriage and babies weren’t in the cards for us. I was fine with that. Fuck! I even liked that I wasn’t constrained like my straight friends.’ I remember so clearly how angry he was. I was stunned because he didn’t seem upset about the commitment ceremony we’d had two years prior. Constrained? He sounded like our relationship was a prison. God, I was crushed.”
“I’m so sorry,” I whispered, running my nose along his.
“He left on a long business trip the following morning. It was the first time he ever left the house without kissing me goodbye or telling me he loved me. I thought it was the end for us, but Peter called me once he reached his hotel room that night. He cried and apologized for hurting me and promised we would talk about it more once we got home. He said he was just afraid we would lose us, and I had to admit I’d already seen signs of it with our friends. We never had a conversation that didn’t revolve around their kids. I loved it, but Peter didn’t.
“When he got home, we didn’t talk about the big divide. Instead, both of us went on a mission to prove our point to the other. I tried to show Peter we didn’t have to lose us, and he tried to demonstrate that we were perfect just the way we were, and he should’ve been more than enough for me.”
“Exactly how did you two try to accomplish this? It sounds like a really bad rom com.”
“I started offering to babysit kids for our friends so Peter could see how much fun our life could be. Who didn’t like playing with Play-Doh and Barbies? Turns out Peter didn’t. I thought baking cookies with kids was fun, but all he saw was the mess left behind. As for Peter, he started taking me on lavish vacations. Every time one of our friends shared a picture of a kid on their phone, Peter showed a photo from our latest adventure. A few of our friends would remark on how jealous they were that we could just pick up and go when we wanted, or that we could have sex whenever we wanted. Peter would get this smug smile on his face and look at me like ‘See! They regret it.’ But every single time, our friends would smile and say they still wouldn’t trade places with us.”
“Uh oh. I bet you returned his smug smile.”
“Baby, I showed more teeth than the Grinch.”
“Had you come to a compromise before Peter died?”
“No,” Rome said, shaking his head sadly. “We would let the conversation drop for months at a time to avoid arguing, but it still hung over our heads like an ominous cloud.”
“What do you think would’ve happened if Peter hadn’t died?”
“We would’ve drifted apart and found people who wanted the same things we did, or we would’ve become grumpy, bitter old men. I would’ve chosen to walk away and be grateful for all the memories we’d made together, but Peter would’ve rather hung on to what he knew, even if it wasn’t what was best for him.”
“How long did it take you to realize that truth after he died?” I asked softly.
“Five years, give or take a few months. You know what happens when you lose someone you love. All you can remember was how great they were. The things that annoyed you no longer seemed valid. It took a long time for me to realize as much as Peter and I loved each other, we weren’t in love with each other anymore. We were bound together by history and friendship, and it’s terribly hard to let go sometimes. Jules, being with you has driven that home harder than any epiphany I had before we met. The way you make me feel… It’s like nothing I’ve ever known, and I will never accept anything less ever again. Not if I live for one more year or live to be one hundred. You are everything I want, need, and cherish. You.”
Tears stung the back of my eyes. “I’ve never been in love until I met you. I knew lust and desire, but not this.” We leaned toward each other at the same time and knocked heads.
“Damn,” Rome swore angrily. “Will I ever stop ruining our moments with my clumsiness?”
“I think we share the blame.” I cupped the back of his head and held him in place for the kiss we’d both sought. By the time our lips parted, I was done talking about the love and hurt from Rome’s past; I only wanted to think about pleasing him in the present. “We need to get out of this bathtub.”
“You didn’t enjoy it?”
“No. I think you’re sexy as fuck all wet and sudsy, but this space is too limited for what I want to do.”
Rome pulled the stopper to let out the water then we got out of the tub and toweled off. Rather than risk Rome tripping over something on the way to the sprawling bed, I hoisted him over my shoulder and carried him fireman style. He gasped in surprise and playfully slapped my ass.
I wasn’t gentle when I laid him on the bed. I settled over Rome, aligning our hard dicks together, but he had a different kind of foreplay in mind. I didn’t put up a fight when he rolled me to my back and kissed a path down my body before taking my dick inside his talented mouth. I never knew how sexy eye contact during sex was until I met Rome, and I loved the way his gaze held me spellbound as his lips and tongue cherished me.
“C’mere,” I said when I reached my breaking point. “I want you inside me now.”
Rome reluctantly released my dick and crawled up my body. After carefully stretching me open with slick fingers, he sheathed his cock and pressed inside me. Like always, the world faded away and he was the only thing I could see, feel, or hear. He was the maestro, my body was his instrument, and the score we created together was the most beautiful I’d ever heard. The tempo of our lovemaking reminded me of a symphony. A graceful minuet gave way to an explosive sonata as we chased our climax. Afterward, our song faded into a lilting melody as we lay together in a heap of tangled, sweaty limbs. It was so beautiful I wanted to recreate it for Rome so he could carry our music with him everywhere.
The next morning, we headed to Ashley and Ben’s house for the all-important first meet and greet. Rome told me not to worry and assured me his family was already in love with me because he was. I decided to take him at his word instead of worrying.
Ashley and Ben’s house wasn’t as grand as Frank and Heather’s, but it wasn’t too far off.
“Don’t worry,” Rome said, squeezing my hand as we approached the front door. “The inside is as warm and inviting as the welcome you’re going to receive from my family.”
The door jerked open before we reached it to reveal two angry teenagers. I recognized them as Michele and Laurel from the numerous photos Rome displayed around his home.
“This is all your fault, Uncle Rome,” Michele practically spat out. “I hope you’re happy now.”
“What’s my fault, lamb?”
“Ugh! I thought you stopped calling me by that name,” she replied, sounding even angrier.
“We haven’t slept in two days,” Laurel whined.
“Michele and Laurel,” Ashley said in a warning tone as she walked up behind them. She had a baby swaddled against her chest in a sling and managed to look both exhausted and beautiful at the same time. “Let Rome and Julius in right this minute.”
“What’s going on?” Rome asked. A huge smile spread across his face. “You didn’t.”
“Not yet” the girls both said.
“We’re just babysitting this weekend, but Dad calls it a trial run for when we adopt a baby,” Laurel said.
The baby let out a soft, pitiful cry and Ashley cooed to him. The girls looked at each other and winced.
“We’re horrible people,” Michele told her sister.
“The worst,” Laurel agreed. “We make babies cry.”
“Um, hello,” Rome said. “Who’s the handsome fella?”
“His name is Jacob, and he belongs to friends of ours,” Ashley explained. “They had to go out of town for a funeral, and I volunteered to watch the little guy. And now I want a baby.”
“Can we at least come in? Maybe Jacob wants to meet Julius even if you don’t,” Rome said.
“Don’t be silly,” Ashley said. “I’ve been waiting for this moment forever. Girls, get out of the doorway and let them inside. I raised you to have better manners than this. Julius, welcome to our home. I apologize for the chaos and ridiculous way you were greeted by my uncouth daughters. Rome, you can feed this little guy so I can help Ben in the kitchen.”
We followed Ashley to the back of the house where Rome’s parents, Astrid and Ben, waited for us. Rome made quick introductions before he practically elbowed his mother out of the way to get to Jacob.
“Ashley wants me to feed the baby so she can help Ben in the kitchen,” Rome said smugly.
Michele handed Rome a bottle and hovered close by like she was afraid Rome might drop him. I think she liked the idea of a little brother more than she let on. Laurel kept her distance still, but she kept glancing over at him.
“Four brothers,” Rome softly teased to antagonize his nieces without disturbing the baby.
Rome was right about his family. They were warm and made me feel very welcome. They didn’t care about the differences in our ages or backgrounds; they only cared that I made him happy. There was never an awkward silence between conversations, and their questions about my background came from a place of getting to know me. Astrid loved hearing about my days of playing in the orchestra and was excited that I’d written the score for the play.
“I cannot wait to see the production,” she said, squeezing both my hands in her frail ones.
Rome’s dad and I talked about our favorite shows on the Science channel. “Do you think there’s alien life on other planets?” he asked me.
“I think it would be arrogant to believe otherwise,” I replied.
I learned his mother also loved trying out new IPAs. “The next time you come to Columbus, I’ll take you to Carmichaels. It’s my favorite pub, and they only serve IPAs there.”
“I’m looking forward to it,” I told her. She was pleased to know Rome always kept my favorite IPA on hand. “You raised a wonderful man, Amelia.” She kissed my cheek and squeezed me extra tight.
“Oh, how I’ve prayed for you,” she whispered before releasing me.
I chatted with the girls about school and their hobbies. Michele was a tennis player like me, and I was happy to hear that Laurel liked to play chess. We agreed future matches were a must. Conversation continued over brunch, and Ben and Ashley shared more about what they did.
Rome and I cleared the table and cleaned the kitchen after brunch so Ashley and Ben could kick up their feet and rest. After we finished, Rome announced we were heading back to Blissville to get ready for the next work week. I was embraced and hugged like they’d known me longer than a few hours, and returning their affection felt natural and right.
The day was as perfect as could be until Rome received a phone call from Caitlyn Simpson informing us the POS group had struck again.