“How could I have my period now?” Cindy groaned as she dragged me along with her into a supermarket close to the beach.
We were headed toward a beach party that afternoon. I was a junior and dating a guy named Liam. He was the latest football star and had a strong chance of being captain when he turned senior.
“It’s only your first day. It won’t be that strong, so don’t freak about it,” I told her. “But let’s go buy your tampons.”
I was heading for the feminine hygiene section when Cindy stopped me.
“Don’t be in such a hurry!” she hissed. “Be discreet! I don’t want people to know I am having my period underneath my string bikini!”
I laughed. “Then I’ll buy them for you. I only care about what Liam will say anyway. And I can always tell him the real story. He won’t tell on you.”
“But still…let’s pretend we’re looking at some other stuff,” she said. She took me to the chocolate section and I took a bag of M&M’s. “You’re not seriously going to eat that, are you?” she asked.
“Why not?”
“Okay, that is just unfair! How could you manage to be so slim and yet attack chocolates and desserts?”
I shrugged. “I have no idea. It could be the emotional stress. I live alone, remember?”
“Anyway, how are you getting home tonight?” she asked. “I might go somewhere else with Ben.”
“I’m sure Liam can give me a lift home,” I replied.
“Nice to have steady boyfriends!” she giggled.
Finally, we went to the section where all sorts of feminine stuff were located. There was a couple there making out in front of the pregnancy kits. It took me a moment to realize that they were familiar to me.
“Liam?” I asked in disbelief.
They stopped kissing and looked up at me. Liam blinked back, and then he shoved the girl away from him.
“Ahh…Brianne…this…isn’t what you think?”
“Oh, really!” I rolled my eyes.
“It was a spur of the moment—I don’t know what’s gotten into me.”
“Oh, come on!” the girl behind him complained. She looked at me apologetically. “Don’t believe him! We’ve been fooling around behind your back since last week!” She looked back at Liam. “Spur of the moment? You slept in my bed last night!” Then she gave him a push in the shoulder.
Liam looked at her. “Look, can we sort this out later? I need to talk to Brianne in private.”
“So you can fill my head with more lies?” I asked sarcastically. I looked at the girl, whom I recognized as one of the cheerleaders. “He and I are over. Although, I suggest you don’t stick around with a guy who denies you in front of people. You’re too pretty for that.” I turned to grab a box of tampons next to me, and then turned to Cindy. “Let’s go.”
But Liam wouldn’t let it go. He ran after me, yanking me by the forearm. His grip was so strong I actually got hurt.
“I bruise easily, Liam!” I told him coldly, looking at his tight grip on my forearm. “And if you leave a mark on me, there’s one person who will not be happy about it!” I looked at him haughtily. “And he would hunt you down and turn you black and blue!”
He took a step back and released my arm. “I…thought you weren’t seeing anyone but me.”
“I wasn’t. But looks like you were! Now leave me alone!” And I turned on my heel with Cindy.
She ran to the counter to pay for her tampons quickly, not caring anymore who would see her with them.
Then we rushed out of the supermarket and hopped inside her brother’s car.
“Whoa! What happened with you two?” Cindy’s brother asked as he backed out of the parking space.
“Do you want to go home?” Cindy asked. “Because I’m cool. I’m worried about you.”
I shook my head. “No. I won’t spoil your fun.” I looked back at her. “I’m upset because he was cheating on me. Not because I was head-over-heels in love with him and I’m heartbroken right now.”
“Are you sure?”
I nodded. “I don’t want Ben to be disappointed when you don’t show up or if you show up late. I’ll be fine.”
Back at the party, I tried to mingle with the others, tried my best not to bother Cindy and Ben that much, although they were clearly sympathetic with me.
I giggled. “I’m okay, guys. I’m just pissed. But I’m fine.”
By the end of the afternoon, I wasn’t sure I was fine anymore. News had probably spread around already, and Liam came with the same girl he was making out with. They continued making out in plain view now. I could tell some people were looking at me and whispering behind my back. In the end, the curious looks on their faces were bothering me more than the sight of Liam and that girl making out, which made me want to vomit.
Apart from Liam’s cheating escapade, I was worrying about how I would get home. I couldn’t bother Cindy and Ben. I knew they wanted to enjoy the party. They’d been talking about it all week. Cindy’s brother dropped us off and headed off somewhere else. Most of the other girls in attendance either had boyfriends or were flirting with some boys. Originally, I had planned to catch a ride with Liam because I knew Cindy and Ben had other plans later. Now, it was either I impose on them or go by foot and by myself. Both options were less than enticing.
I sat on a bench in a secluded area and watched the sunset.
I’m not going to cry! I told myself. If I do, people might know it’s because of Liam, and he’s not worth any teardrops at all.
I fished my cell phone from my beach bag.
Please don’t be in Paris! Please don’t be in Paris! I silently prayed as I dialed a number.
“Cherie,” he answered after two rings.
“Travis!” I was glad to hear his voice. “God, I hope you’re in town.”
“Why?” he asked.
I sighed. “Because I need a ride home.”
“What happened to your boyfriend? Lost his wheels?” he asked. That was not very encouraging. He knew I was dating Liam. I could tell he didn’t like him.
“He…lost me, actually,” I replied.
Travis didn’t answer. But I could tell he was waiting for me to tell him more.
“I caught him…making out with some girl on my way to the beach party.”
“Stay where you are,” he said in low, quiet voice. And then, before I knew it, he had already hung up.
What does he mean stay where I am? Is he coming to get me? And I silently prayed he would.
I went back to the beach. It was dark already. The party organizers had lighted torches around the area and the smell of barbeque was everywhere, reminding me that I had not eaten anything since the morning. Some couples were dancing, including Cindy and Ben. My eyes drifted to one secluded corner and found Liam staring at me, with his other girl in his arms. The moment he caught my eye and saw me looking at him, he tightened his grip on her and nuzzled her neck.
“Was that for your benefit?” I heard somebody ask behind me.
I spun around and found Travis behind me, staring at Liam murderously.
I sighed. “I guess.” I looked up at Travis. He was wearing a pair of black and red board shorts, a white shirt, and a cap over his head.
Slow music played. I felt him touch my waist and I looked up at him. “Dance with me,” he whispered.
I smiled at him, tears starting to well up in my eyes.
“Don’t,” he whispered softly. “Not here, cherie. I will give you time to cry all you want later. When we’re alone. But for now, you need to show everybody that you are delighted to be in my arms, instead of his.”
I giggled humorlessly. I gave him a hug. “Travis…” I whispered. “Believe it or not, I am crying because I am delighted to be in your arms. Not his.”
He hugged me to him and we swayed to the music silently. I didn’t care anymore if Liam was still devouring that girl. I was really happy to let some of my defenses down and lean on Travis. Here with him, I could be weak for a little while. Because I knew he would always be strong for me.
He caressed my forearm, and I flinched at the little pressure he gave. I realized Liam’s grip was too hard and rough. I did bruise a little.
I heard Travis’s harsh intake of breath. I pulled away so I could look back at him.
“What’s wrong?”
He closed his eyes for a while. He was turning a little red and I could tell he was trying to control his temper.
“Travis…” I whispered.
When he opened his eyes again, I could see that he was furious.
“He did this to you, didn’t he?” he asked.
“What?”
“Your arm,” he replied.
I bit my lip. I couldn’t lie to Travis. He was good at reading my expressions. He narrowed his eyes and then he looked around, scanning the area for Liam.
“Travis…please,” I whispered. “I don’t want trouble here.”
He looked back at me again. “He hurt you. There’s not much I can do for the emotional pain, but…I can’t let the physical one pass!” he said, his anger seething between his teeth.
“Travis…” I pleaded. “I bruise easily. He just grabbed my arm.”
“Too roughly?”
“I don’t want trouble here,” I said in a desperate tone.
When Travis realized this, his expression softened a little. “Ssshhh…” he said. He pulled me to him and gave me a hug. I heard him sigh. “Okay, cherie. As you wish. Not here.”
I pulled back from him. “What do you mean not here?”
He stared back at me. “That’s the only bargain I can give you. Not here. Not in front of you.”
“Travis, I don’t want you to get in trouble, too,” I said in a desperate voice.
He laughed humorlessly. “Your ex-boyfriend bruised you up and you’re worried about me? I can take care of myself, Brianne,” he said. “And don’t worry. I’ll make sure he lives to learn the lesson.”
“Travis…” I started.
He shook his head. “Don’t change my mind, Brianne,” he said. “I promised your brother I would take care of you.”
“And you are!” I argued.
He looked at my bruised forearm. “Not good enough.”
“You can’t look after me twenty-four seven.”
“Maybe I should do that from now on,” he said.
“You can’t!”
“Sure I can…if only to make sure you’re safe.”
“I’m safe. A little bruise will not kill me.”
“Nevertheless…he should have left you spotless,” he said in a sober voice.
I smiled at him ruefully. I placed my hand on his cheek. “Travis…two years ago, you didn’t even care about whether or not I tripped and fell on the stairs.”
“Just because I didn’t show it doesn’t mean I didn’t care at all,” he said. “And your brother gave me a new reason to live for now.”
“I can’t be the only thing you care about in this life.”
He sighed. “You are now,” he said. “And I mean it. Not here. That’s the only promise I can make you.”
I gave up. “Travis…whatever you do, just please don’t end up in a hospital bed, in jail, or worse, in the same place where Tom is! I still haven’t recovered from his death. I would go mad if I were to lose you, too.”
“That’s touching. Two years ago you wouldn’t even have cared if I got run over by a train.”
“Well, Tom’s given me a reason to live, too!” I muttered.
He finally laughed. “Touché.” He pulled me into his arms again and we continued dancing.
I leaned my head on his shoulder. “I’m starving,” I said to him.
He pulled away from me. “Come. Let’s get out of here,” he said. “Before I end up breaking my promise not to beat up your ex-boyfriend before your eyes.”
The following Monday, Cindy came and met me in the hallway with some news.
“Ben told me that Liam got cornered by your guy yesterday after playing basketball with some of the guys. Travis Cross got out of his Bentley and went for Liam. He pushed him against the wall and told him that he had no right to hurt a hair on your body. Liam actually got scared. He went blank for a long while. Then Travis punched him and told him to never to come near you again.” Cindy stared at me dreamily. “Wow! Travis Cross! Seeing you together sent shivers down my spine! You can’t be that affectionate and just purely platonic.”
“But we are,” I sighed, remembering Liam again. “Dating is not a piece of cake, huh?”
“You can go through a chain of boyfriends and still find yourself marrying your safety guy at age forty.” She looked at me. “Well, in your case, thirty. But the problem is, you don’t have a safety guy.”
“A what?” I echoed.
“Safety guy. You know, that guy who promises to marry you when you reach a certain age and you’re nowhere close to getting married at all.”
An idea played in my head. What if, just in case I didn’t find my true love by the time I was thirty, I married somebody who was willing to marry me? A good friend, even a gay friend. We would be married only on paper.
I might or might not find the guy I would spend my ‘forever’ with by the time I was thirty, I realized. But it helped to know that whatever happened, I’d be married…I wouldn’t be cursed for the rest of my life.
The next day, I asked Travis to meet me in front of my house. I’d given this a lot of thought the night before. It was the only thing that actually made sense. It was my insurance to take the pressure off and not chase guys or be desperate to fall in love all the time.
I stared up at Travis nervously after asking him the most difficult favor I would ever have to ask anybody.
“You said you’d look out for me,” I told him. “Please?” I almost begged.
“You’ve got to be freaking kidding me!” he said in a frustrated tone. He usually didn’t show emotion. But now, he made no effort to hide any of it. “Are you crazy?”
I sighed. “Maybe. But I’m desperate.”
He looked at me with narrowed eyes. I thought he was mad at me, but what I saw in his eyes was actually…frustration. “You’re a silly little girl!”
“I know! But I don’t know what I’m going to do when that time comes.”
“It’s fourteen years down the line, Brianne!” he said. “You’re crazy to think that you can’t find a man by then!”
“I’m not saying I won’t be able to. I’m saying…I need a reassurance that I will be married even if I don’t find someone else.”
He raised his chin to the sky and closed his eyes. “Of all the things to ask me, bro, why this?” he whispered more to himself, and I realized that he meant that for my brother.
Travis stared at me again. He didn’t say a word. And then with an icy expression on his face, he stormed away.
I stood there alone and felt embarrassed. I knew I shouldn’t have asked him that. When we first met each other, I didn’t like him one bit. And now, I’d asked him to marry me!
I didn’t see Travis for the next two days, and I was thankful. I was too embarrassed about the favor I had asked him. I couldn’t believe that I was as brazen as that.
I was on my balcony one afternoon and I decided to draw. Whenever I felt bad, I channeled all those feelings onto my canvas. This time, I drew something dark, evil...and handsome. It was too late when I realized that the image that I drew of the demon clad in a leather jacket looked like Travis. His face was the same…but I’d given him fangs and fire eyeballs.
“You couldn’t be that mad at me,” I heard a familiar voice say behind me.
My heart skipped a beat as I realized that I’d been caught red-handed. I spun around and found Travis looking down at me.
I was surprised because this was probably the first time Travis had come inside my house again after my brother had died.
“I…forgot you used to come here.” I knew I was blushing violently.
Immediately, I flipped over the canvas to remove the spitting image in front of him. He didn’t say anything.
“What do you want?” I asked him.
“The last time I checked, it was you who wanted something from me,” he replied.
I raised a brow. “Well, you could just forget I ever said anything to you!” I turned away from him to pick up my brushes and my pencils.
“I’ll do it,” he said quietly.
I turned to face him again. “What?”
“I said I’ll do it,” he repeated. “I’ll be your safety guy.” I was dumbfounded. He stepped closer to me. “In fourteen years, if you aren’t married yet, or nowhere close to marching down the aisle, I’ll marry you.”
“Travis…you probably won’t have to do it anyway,” I said. “I mean…fourteen years is a lot of time, right?”
“Yes. But you can be a handful,” he said evenly.
I sighed. “If it makes you feel better, I only meant that we’re going to marry on paper. You can still go ahead, screw as many girls as you want. We’ll only appear married in front of my relatives and then we’ll divorce after two to five years. No pressure.”
He stared at me for a while, studying me and absorbing what I had just said to him. “I didn’t intend to marry at all, Brianne,” he said quietly. “I don’t have faith in marriage. You have to remember that my parents haven’t been seeing each other for almost half of my life, and yet they remain married on paper…for money…for power, for political reasons. I’ll marry you…but I’ll just be a guy who will meet you at the altar. You cannot expect anything more from me.”
I smiled. “Yes. That’s all I wanted.”
He nodded.
I felt relieved, quite thankful that he was willing to play this game with me. In truth, I knew it might not happen anyway. I could fall in love and marry right after college. Or I could find him at the last minute…on my thirtieth birthday.
But still, I was quite thankful that Travis had given in to my little request…if only just to give me peace of mind. I didn’t really know how to thank him. So I leaned forward and gave him a peck on the cheek.
“Thank you, Travis,” I said to him. “You’re not such a bad guy.”
He almost scowled and looked like I had just offended him.
I turned to fix my brushes and my pencils again. “You know…when I told you about this…you could have said no right away. Or you…could have said yes to me anyway. Who knows what could happen in fourteen years? Why did you have to wait two days to give me your answer?”
No answer. For a while, I thought he’d left without another word, but when I turned around, he was still there, standing in the same spot.
“I had to think about it,” he said. “It’s my life you’re asking from me.”
I giggled humorlessly. “Come on, Trav. You take things seriously. All I wanted was some peace of mind. Do you really think nobody’s going to propose to me in fourteen years?”
He took a deep breath. “A lot of guys will fall at your feet and hope to be your husband,” he said. “But nevertheless…I don’t make promises I do not intend to keep.” Then he turned on his heel and left.