After hours and hours of fake smiles everyone was gone. I stayed to help Lori and her family clean up.

“Where do you want these, Mr. Dawes?” Ryan, Carrie’s fiancé, held up two stuffed garbage bags. Theo shook his head and sighed heavily.

“It’s trash, where the hell do you think it goes?” Theo gruffed.

I laughed audibly. Carrie shot Ryan an apologetic look and shuffled off to the garbage bin. It’s not like he’s dumb, he’s an architect like Carrie. Theo just doesn’t like him. Like, at all.

I didn’t even like Ryan. He was a nerd. No, I don’t have anything against nerds but he was an arrogant nerd. Thought he knew everything when really, he just draws some shapes and tells other people to build it. Design architecture or something like that. Carrie opened her own architecture firm a few years back and met him when she was hiring people.

She didn’t hire him.

“Thanks for the help, Dillon. Do you need a ride home?” Theo asked me. I shook my head.

“No, my parents don’t know I’m here yet. I was just going to stay in a hotel.” I explained. He gave me a funny look but Lori understood how I was with my parents. How messed up our relationship was.

“Nonsense, you can stay here.” He clapped my shoulder and started up the steps.

“Uh, you didn’t offer me to stay.” Ryan said.

“Dude…no.” I laughed at him.

Theo shook his head and kept going. A few seconds later his door shut. Carrie soothed Ryan and then disappeared into the kitchen. Lori was struggling to reach the banner pinned up on the wall.

“Let me help you, shrimp.” She elbowed my gut. She hates when I call her that, the few times I do. I couldn’t help it though, when she stands next to me I can see the top of her head perfectly.

“I hate when you call me that.” I was still laughing. At Ryan and at her.

I took down the banner and trashed it. No one else was graduating.

We finished up the rest quickly. I threw the garbage out and came back in the house.

“Lori?” I called out. No answer.

I grabbed the overnight bag I packed and trudged up the stairs. Man, I was exhausted. Dead on my feet to be more exact.

I went in Lori’s bedroom, I knocked first.

“Yeah.” She called out.

“Hey,” I swung the door open, “can I use your…shower.” Well shit.

I just walked in on her naked. Well she had panties on—gray lace panties to be exact.

“Dillon!” She frantically grabbed a towel and covered herself. Me? All I could do was laugh. I mean, it wasn’t the first time it happened.

“What? You said yeah. That means come in.”

Her face was bright red with her blush, her chest raised with a red color from her shower.

“No, it doesn’t.”

I came inside and threw my bag on the floor, heading for her bathroom.

“Yeah, it does.” My eyes betrayed me, traveled past her wet hair, clinging to her chest.

It was super long, sometimes I imagined her topless with her hair covering her breasts. Normal guy stuff, right?

“Dillon, stop fucking staring!” I pulled myself out of my ass.

“Right. Sorry. You know, I’ve seen you naked before.” I cocked a brow. She rolled her eyes.

“Yeah, when we were in preschool.” That’s how long we’ve been friends. Small town, remember?

“Only difference is you have boobs.” She reached for the first thing she saw and threw it at me. I caught it anyway. It was a shoe.

“Hey! They’re nice boobs, don’t worry.”

I held up my hands in defense. It wasn’t a lie. I had seen plenty of boobs in my day—I’m a football player, I get lots of TNA thrown my way. I only got a glimpse but hers are definitely up on the list.

“Just go. Please.” She tried to be serious but she was laughing too.

Even stuff like that wasn’t awkward between us. I guess the perks of having a female best friend is I get to know the ins and outs of the female mind—we have no secrets.

“Fine.” I laughed again.

Once the hot water of the shower hit me it felt like heaven. I washed my hair with her girly shampoo. I got out, wrapped a towel around myself and tried to control my hair. I looked in the mirror and saw just how much like shit I looked. My green eyes were dull, red circles were around my eyes. It was the first time I had washed my hair in two days so it looked like a sad, brown mop. Now, I’m not an unhygienic guy; but you know, … finals week.

I stepped out of the bathroom when I gave up. Lori was sprawled out on her bed, her hair falling out to the side of her head as she read a book. She rested the hardcover book against her boob—must be nice, having such a nice place to rest things.

“Ugh, put some clothes on.” She turned to see I was standing there.

“On it, boss.” I moved towards my bag and grabbed a pair of boxers.

“I can blow up an air mattress for you.” She rolled over and looked at me. Though I wasn’t looking at her face, I was looking at the tank top that could barely hold her boobs. I had to think about my balding, fat coach to stop a hard-on.

“Nah, it’s cool. I’ll just sleep on your couch.” I pointed to the day couch she had on the far wall of her room.

“Okay. Oh, blankets.” She jumped up and started digging in her linen closet. She had to be doing this on purpose right—the barely there shorts, I mean?

Anyways. Sometimes I can be a total prick so I waited until she turned around to drop my towel.

“Dillion!” She shrieked as I laughed.

“What? Just changing.” She groaned and started dressing the couch for me. I pulled on my briefs and hung the towel back in the bathroom.

“Thanks.” I told her.

“Sure.” She sat back on her bed and kept reading.

“I’m gonna grab a snack.”

“I’ll go with you.”

We went down to her kitchen together.

“Hey, I’m sorry about flashing you. Just thought I should make it even.”

“No worries—already seen you naked. It’s just a bit smaller than I thought.”

I mocked stabbing myself in the chest.

“I’m so hurt.” I joked.

She shook her head and looked through her fridge.

“We have some leftover chicken salad sandwiches.”

“Ah, that sounds awesome.” She brought out the tray and grabbed two root beers.

I sat on the high stool and she sat Indian style on the counter. We ate in relative silence for a while.

“So, what’s next for you anyway? A crappy desk job?” She scoffed.

“No, I applied for this internship and I still haven’t heard back yet.”

“Where is it?”

“South Carolina.”

I nodded.

I went to Clemson, so at least I won’t have to be apart from her if she gets it.

“There are publishing firms out there? I thought New York was the only place for that."

“Yeah. It’s small and private but it’s a good start. They publish anthologies and science fiction mostly.” I nodded.

It was hard enough all through college, being away from her. But if it wasn’t football season I flew or drove out to see her once or twice a month. It wasn’t far, so.

“Don’t even worry about it, it’s yours for sure.” She smiled and visibly relaxed.

“How is everything with your dad?” I shook my head and didn’t answer until I was done eating.

“He’s still pushing to get me in the combine. I don’t want to…I’m done with football. But he doesn’t care.” She stared back at me, her blue eyes wide.

“But why? I mean, why won’t he let you go to med school? It isn’t like you want to join the freaking circus.” She laughed humorlessly.

“I don’t know. Honestly my whole life I have just been some kind of tax return for him. Now, I’m an investment. I didn’t even want to play college ball, I did it to make him happy. Thinking he would…I don’t know, hate me less for it.” I furrowed my brow and looked down at the crumbs on the table.

“It’s stupid. Obviously, I was wrong.” I said quietly.

“Hey, Dillon.” She touched my bare arm gingerly, I looked at her. Somehow just looking at her made me relax instantly.

“You are a super smart guy. And you’ll do great in med school, football isn’t who you are. Your father isn’t who you are either.”

I nodded.

“Thanks. You’re the only one who understands.”

She shrugs like it is nothing.

“What kind of doctor do you want to be anyway?” She asked after a while.

“I am…going to be a cardiothoracic surgeon.”

Before you say anything, this isn’t some unrealistic decision. And I didn’t have too many concussions or anything. I’m smarter than people give me credit for, a lot of the time. I’ve always had straight A’s—I earned them. I didn’t buy my way into Harvard, even though I didn’t go because my father forced me to play for Clemson. But premed classes are the same anywhere, pretty much. And I aced those. It’s what I’ve wanted to do since my grandma—my favorite family member mind you, died of congenital heart failure that went undiagnosed. I don’t just want to do surgery, cut all day. I want to improve diagnostic medicine, so people don’t just wake up in the morning and have dead family members.

“So, you can operate on me when I drink so much coffee my arteries burst.” We laughed together.

“For sure.”

We sat in the kitchen pretty much until the sun came up, talking about the rest of her semester and catching up before we went back up to her room, laughing uncontrollably. She passed out as soon as she hit the sheets but I was too worked up.

I looked around her room. It hadn’t changed since she left for college the first time. She had a bunch of pin ups of inspirational quotes. Lori was not a girly-girl at all. Her black and red sheets and color scheme can attest to that. But her room was just like her. It had a lot going on but it made sense, pin ups and book shelves everywhere they could fit.

I turned over and watched her sleep. Sure, maybe it was lame. But damn, she is too beautiful for my own good. I wasn’t sure how long I could keep it to myself. How long I could wait to tell her I was in love with her. It wasn’t that I didn’t want to, damn did I want to…I just…I couldn’t lose my best friend.