It’s nearly midnight before Cole returns home. It’s obvious from his demeanor and the smell that he’s had a lot to drink. He comes to bed, slobbering all over me, a thousand apologies rolling from his tongue. In no time, he collapses onto the bed, his loud snores filling the bedroom.
The next morning, I’m up bright and early for our drive to see Hope. I’m so excited for the day ahead. Just me, Hope, and all the fun of the park. I rustle up some breakfast; Cole will definitely need something to soak up all of the alcohol from last night’s binge. I’m dishing up the eggs and bacon as Cole’s face appears in my line of sight. He’s showered, shaved, and damn those butterflies are on overdrive. He looks and smells divine.
“Kennedy, I’m so sorry,” he says as soon as he sees me.
He sits on the barstool opposite me, leaning on the counter top, as close to me as possible. His eyes drift close, his head dropping. “Do you think you’ll ever be able to forgive me? I know what I did was stupid, impulsive even, and I regret it. I really do. The last thing I want is to lose you over it.”
He slides his hand toward mine, taking mine in his. He lifts our linked fingers to his lips, kissing ever so softly.
“Nothing like this can ever happen again. Violence solves nothing, Cole.”
“Agreed. Whatever it takes, baby.” He smiles his panty wetting smile, the one that curls at the corner and I know I can’t stay angry at him. “Where were you yesterday?” he asks. “I was so worried about you.”
“Well I called Ash, but I couldn’t get hold of him…”
“So?” he asks, waiting for an answer.
“So, I uh, kinda bumped into Pete. We spent the whole time talking about you. He reassured me that you really are a good guy.”
With a shrug, he leans in further. “That’s because he knows me so well.” He smirks before tilting his head up to kiss me. He pulls back, gazing at me lovingly.
“So, you’re fit to drive me to visit Hope, yeah?” I ask, wondering if the alcohol has burned out of his system yet.
“I feel as fresh as a daisy this morning. Of course I can still take you. You’ll never guess who I ran into last night?” he asks with a wiggle of his brows.
“Hmm, let me guess…” I say sarcastically. It was obvious which bar he’d been to, and who most likely, would have been there. “Chuck,” I announce.
“Not just a pretty face, after all?” he jokes. “He was telling me all about how he’s going to start having supervised visits with Hope. Damn, it was so fucking good to see him happy. He really is a good guy behind that scary ass looking façade. Hey! He even shaved his beard and cut his hair. That’s how damn excited he is!”
“Shit,” I acknowledge. “He must really be excited if the beard has gone!”
“Right?”
We talk a little more over breakfast; Cole lets me know that he’s planning on meeting with Jake after he drops me at Hope’s for our play date.
As soon as we finish our breakfast, we jump in the truck, making our way the short distance to Hope’s house. My excitement overtakes me and when we get there, I race out of the car, straight toward the door, knocking.
I look over my shoulder, blowing a kiss to Cole as I leave him stunned, sitting in the car. I hear Hope’s happy voice at the other side of the door as I stand there, eagerly waiting.
The door opens slowly, and before I know it, Hope rushes toward me, clinging to my waist.
“Hey!”
“I’m so excited you’re finally here!” she squeaks.
“Me too, princess! Do you know I’ve never been to the park?” I ask her, dropping down to be in-line with her.
She looks at me, her eyebrows drawn together, letting me know that she’s confused. “What, like, never?”
I shake my head. “No, never.”
“Oh, that’s so sad,” she says, drawing out the word sad.
“It is not,” I shriek. “This way I get to spend my first time with you.”
“Hmmm, I guess so,” she says, flicking her long blonde hair over her shoulder.
“So are you ready to go?” I ask, looking past Hope to Becca and Simon, standing in the doorway.
Hope turns to look at the pair before asking, “Are we ready?”
“Let me grab my keys and we are good to go,” Simon declares, clapping his hands and walking out of sight.
“Coat on,” Becca instructs, turning and grabbing a lightweight cream jacket from the coat hook in the hall. Hope holds out her arms as Becca helps slide on the jacket. She walks back to me, grabbing my hand as if she’ll never let go. I squeeze her lightly and her doe eyes glance up at me.
“It’s okay,” I whisper, smiling genuinely at her. “I’m not going anywhere for a few hours. Right now, I’m all yours.”
She smiles, my reassurance steadying her nerves. “Can I feel the baby move?” she asks, gently placing her small hand on my bump.
“If you can wake her, then sure thing.”
For the next few minutes, she tickles and talks to my belly, but the baby doesn’t seem to respond in any way and Hope’s face falls.
“Must be nap time.” I shrug. “Just wait until we are on those swings, I’m pretty sure that will get her moving.”
“Good idea.”
I watch as Becca and Simon make their way outside. Hope starts to pull me down the sidewalk and we skip, hand in hand, down the street.
“So how far is it?”
“Not far, just down this street.” She points in front of us.
She was right. It doesn’t take long for us to get there at all. We stroll through the beautiful park, the trees in full bloom, with people riding their bikes and walking their dogs.
“Wow, this is a really awesome park,” I gasp, taking in our surroundings. We make our way toward the playground, the sweet sound of children having fun fills the air. My smile widens, practically from ear to ear like some damn Cheshire cat.
As soon as we make our way inside the playground, Hope breaks the hold on my hand, running over and sliding onto the swing. I look back to check with Becca and Simon. They’re sitting on the bench, just outside the play area. I smile and race over to Hope.
“I have a deal for you.”
“What’s that?” she asks inquisitively.
“I’ll push you, if you push me!”
She holds out her hand. “Done,” she says, shaking enthusiastically. I position myself behind the swing, pushing her gently until she’s swinging quite high. She giggles and squeals with excitement; her happiness is infectious.
We spend the next hour trying out all of the equipment in the park. Hope seriously has me run ragged. By the time she starts to slow I’m utterly exhausted.
“Ice cream?” I offer, pointing to the cute wooden kiosk just beside the pavilion. We skip over, both of us indulging in an ice cream. We enjoy the cool, creamy treat on our short walk back to Hope’s house.
“I’ve really had the best time, little lady. Thank you for taking me to the park.” I wink at her.
She smiles back at me, ice cream splayed around her mouth.
“You’re really enjoying that, aren’t you?” I giggle.
Hope talks constantly the whole way back to her house. I hold her hand as tightly as I will the memories of our trip to the park. Her face lights up as she tells me all about school, the information spilling out quickly, she barely stops to take a breath. She fills me in on all of the extra-curricular activities Becca has booked her on and her excitement spikes when she starts to talk about dancing. For a little girl that has been through so much, she really has a wise head on her shoulders. Even though she seems to have adjusted, I notice the little things that remain. The need to constantly be with someone and not wanting to let go, but apart from that, I’m pleased to see that she hasn’t suffered in the way I have.
I would never want that. I feel that if anything, maybe I was meant to go back there. Like a higher power had decided that Hope needed me to save her, and in return, I needed her just as much. I owe her my life. If it wasn’t for the friendship we had built and her bravery to help me, I shudder at the thought of what could have happened to me and the baby.
“What’s wrong?” She stops dead in her tracks, staring at me.
“Nothing.” I shake my head. “Why?”
“Well, your whole body just shook, and your face, well you had a funny look on your face.”
“Well aren’t you the observant one?”
She moves, stepping in front of me. Tilting her head to the side, she rests her hands on her hips. “You were thinking about him,” she whispers. She’s not even asking, she’s telling. I look at her and I can tell that she knows.
I purse my lips, nodding a little. “I was,” I admit. “But I was thinking more about how you saved me, Hope. How you helped me and for that I will never ever forget you. So I’m sorry to say, but you’re stuck with me. Okay?”
She throws her arms around me, her head resting on my stomach. “I never want to be without you.”
“Me either,” I mutter, my arms wrapping around her as tight as possible. “You do know that it’s me and you against the world, right?”
Her head lifts up, her watery eyes meeting mine. I swallow down hard, trying to control the bubble of emotion I feel building, as I look into the eyes of this beautiful girl.
“Really? Like you won’t ever forget me?” She smiles, but her eyes remain dark and filled with sadness.
“No, not ever,” I screech, caused by a combination of haste and emotion. “I love you, Hope. I promise I will always be here for you.”
“My mommy said she loved me too, but in the end, she left me.”
I feel the spike of a shudder run the length of my spine, my heart literally jumping into my throat. I drop to one knee in front of her, grabbing her hands tightly.
“I bet that your mommy never wanted to let you go, and more than that, I bet she still loves you deeply, Hope. And seriously,” I pause, looking over my shoulder to Becca and Simon, arms around each other, faces full of concern, “these two aren’t going anywhere. I can already tell they love you deeply,” I say with finality, pointing to the pair behind me.
Hope peers over my shoulder, smiling at them both, tears streaming across her innocent, fresh face. She smiles, releases my hold, and runs the short distance to Becca and Simon. I watch as they comfort her, like only loving parents can.
I stretch out, reaching my arm over, trying to find the damn alarm. I rub my eyes, clasping the phone and hitting the snooze button.
I turn to Cole, who clearly hasn’t been disturbed by the alarm. I wrap my arm over his chest, kissing his cheeks lightly, in an attempt to wake him.
“Well, that has to be a first,” I whisper close to his ear.
I watch as my voice causes him to stir, his eyes heavy and opening slowly. “What’s that, baby?” he croaks.
“Me being woken by the alarm. That’s the first time I’ve managed to sleep undisturbed.”
He smiles widely, stretching his arms above his head. I fold back the sheets, jumping to my feet, and race for the door. I want to make sure I get in the bathroom first. Normally, I’m up and ready before it’s even gotten light, but today is most definitely a first.
“Beat you to it,” I laugh.
“Dammit, baby, I might just come in and join you to save time.” He smirks, pushing his tongue into his cheek.
“Yeah, we both know that doesn’t save time at all,” I laugh, dashing out and heading straight into the shower.
I’m showered and ready in less the fifteen minutes, giving Cole time to get his ass in the shower. I grab some fruit and throw it in my bag as a snack for the ride.
We arrive at school and I head straight in to find Ash. I walk toward the locker, our usual meeting spot, to find him slamming his locker shut. I blink involuntarily at the clatter of the door banging.
“Damn thing!” he yells loudly, hitting it with the side of his clenched fist.
“Ash,” I try to interrupt his little man tantrum. “What’s wrong?”
He turns his head slightly, a sad smile spreading across his weary looking face.
“Kennedy…” He thrusts himself toward me, encapsulating me in a tight hug. My arms are trapped. He’s holding me so forcefully. He releases his vice like hold and I fall back a little, trying to catch my breath.
“Abbey’s mom just called. They are scheduling an operation to relieve some of the pressure on her brain. They found a buildup of fluid. Oh, Ken, I’m worried. It doesn’t sound good.”
I rub my hand over the top of his arm. “Try not to worry. Abs is a fighter and I’m sure the specialists wouldn’t do anything to jeopardize her stability.” I dip my head, trying to meet his sullen eyes. A little smirk pulls at the corner of his mouth.
“You’re right,” he agrees. “Positive thinking will make all the difference.”
“Absolutely!”
I look over and notice Cole and Jake having a similar conversation. Cole is comforting Jake. Cole waves to me as we walk down the corridor.
“Looks like he got the same call.” Ash nods over to the two of them. I return the nod in agreement.
“I just don’t know what I will do without her,” he chokes out, his words full of emotion.
“Hey!” I point my index finger at him.
He holds up his hands, his hip kicked out. “Sorry, I know. Positivity.”
“It’s the only way we’ll get through this. We have to keep hoping she will be okay, yeah?”
He puckers his lips, nods his head, and feeds his arm through mine, leading me toward our first class. We talk all things Abbey, remembering the day we ditched school and did nothing but laugh. The sweet memory brings a little warmth to my heart.
“Oh, look, it’s freaks are us,” snickers the prick that everyone seems to hate these days.
“That’s rich coming from you, Dennis,” Ash retaliates. “You’re more fucked up than any of us.”
“Well is that’s so?” Dennis steps closer, pushing his shoulders back, twisting and creaking his neck as he gets closer to Ash.
“Come on,” I whisper. “Let’s get to class.” I try pulling on his arm to side track Dennis, but he steps in front of us, blocking our path.
“Oh no you don’t,” he growls. “I want to hear more about how fucked up I am.” He glares pointedly at Ash, his face twisted and grimacing. “So let’s hear it, emo faggot, let’s hear what you’ve got to say.”
“That’s enough!” I yell, looking directly at Dennis. “Ash, let’s go.”
“Enough? Oh no, I don’t think it will ever be enough,” he snarls. “Not ‘til I’ve had my revenge, bitch. Not until I’ve burst that cozy little bubble of yours.”
“Revenge? For what exactly? I’ve done nothing to you!” I yell. “Nothing.”
“Causing a scene again, Kennedy?” I hear the smarmy voice from behind me. I turn on the spot, shooting a sideways glare at her.
Wherever there’s trouble, you can be sure Caitlin is never far behind. She’s been MIA since I got back. I guess wishing for her to stay that way was too much to ask.
“Listen, Caitlin, call off your Rottweiler. We have class to get to,” Ash spits out.
She walks past Ash, running her log, pointy, fingernail down the side of his face. “Then you shouldn’t go around causing trouble, should you?”
I look up at her, the smug look on her face just waiting to be wiped off.
“What’s wrong, Kennedy? Not so brave now that your little red headed friend’s not here?” She starts to tap her lip, her eyes glancing upward. “Come to think of it, how is Abbey? Someone should unplug the life support and put us all out of our misery.”
“You’re fucking sick,” Ash screeches, his jaw clenched and his eyes bulging.
The fact that this girl says shit like this makes my blood boil, but I can’t let this get out of control. I pull on Ash’s arm, tugging him in the opposite direction to where we need to be, but it’s out of the reach of those two.
Once we are safely away from Caitlin and Dennis, Ash starts venting out. “I cannot fucking believe those two. I mean seriously, they need counseling or some shit, because that ain’t right.” I look at Ash, his usually pale skin is red and his body language tells me he’s furious.
“Well, Caitlin is just pissed she’s no longer the main jock’s trophy girlfriend. Not that she was ever really bothered about Cole, like not really. And Dennis, well, don’t even get me started on him.” I point back down the corridor. “He’s the one that got away from the evil of the commune, yet he’s more messed up than you could ever imagine. He just wants to blame someone for his shitty existence, so I guess he’s decided the blame lies with me!”
“But it ain’t right, babe.”
“Well, we know that,” I pause, scanning our surroundings. “I wonder if the coast is clear yet?”
“Only one way to find out, I guess.”
We head back down the corridor, quietly trying to get to our class. We listen carefully for the sound of voices, but as we approach the classroom, it appears the cost is clear.
“Jeez, Mrs. Cooke is going to be pissed at us for being late,” Ash sighs.
“Well, I think we should tell her exactly why we were late to class. I’m not getting into any more trouble because of that dumbass,” I sigh. “I will speak to her at the end of class.”