Twelve
Julia
“Jordan, I have been dreaming about these scones for so long,” I said into my phone. “You have no idea how amazing these things are.”
“Bring me back a few,” he suggested.
“Oh, I’m bringing back a dozen,” I assured him.
“That’s the fatty I know and love,” he teased.
“Watch it,” I warned. “You know I can fire you.”
“You know you never would,” he said with confidence. I rolled my eyes and stepped further forward as the line at Angie’s began to move.
After my encounter with Kellan the day before, I needed an Angie’s fix to get my day started. I woke up feeling younger than I’d felt in years. Just one conversation with Kellan and I was back to my old self again. Vulnerable. Exposed. I hated my old self.
“How was the funeral?” Jordan asked, snapping me back to reality.
“It was… fine,” I said with a shake of my head. I tried to clear my thoughts, but images of Kellan were flooding my mind. I saw his smiling face the night he told me about the Alphas. I saw him flush with rage just a few hours before. His dark eyes looked angrier than I’d ever seen them. I knew he had changed after we talked. It was his one way to get his aggression out. A run in the woods as a brown bear. It always helped him. And as much as I didn’t want to admit it, I would have loved to see that bear again.
“Uh oh,” Jordan said.
“What?”
“I know what that means,” he said.
“You do?” I asked with a small chuckle. “And what does it mean?”
“It means you ran into that old flame of yours. Leo? Kellan? Something like that.”
I sighed deeply and looked up at the ceiling. I would never know how Jordan did it, but he could always hone in on the one thing I didn’t want to talk about. He had a sixth sense for things like that. It was probably his shifter side, an owl. Wise and chatty.
“What old flame?” I asked evasively. Jordan snorted on the other end of the phone and I knew he didn’t buy it.
“Talk to Jordan sweetie,” he said, putting on his therapist voice. “Come on. Tell me everything.”
“Ugh,” I said. “Jordan, there really isn’t much to tell. I saw him. Kellan. I ran away. He found me. We talked. He ran away. The end.”
“That is so not the end,” Jordan criticized. “You saw him. Kellan. For the first time in years and that’s all you have to say about it. Please.”
“Don’t push this, okay?” I begged.
“Julia, I only do this because I love you,” Jordan reminded me.
“I know you do, but…”
“And because I love you,” he interrupted. “It is my job to help you deal with these things. I can’t do that if you don’t talk to me about it.”
“What makes you think I need help dealing with it?” I demanded.
“Honey, we both know you can’t be trusted to do this on your own.”
“Okay,” I said. “Fine.”
“Thank you.”
“Well,” I began, moving a step forward in line. “He came to my uncle’s wake. He just walked right in wearing a black suit and…”
“How did he look?” Jordan asked.
“Handsome,” I said. Even I knew that was an understatement. “Amazing, actually.”
“Swoon, I do love those big burly bear types,” Jordan cooed. “Continue.”
“He walked in. We made eye contact and I bolted. I just ran out of there as fast as I could. I didn’t stop running until I made it two streets over.”
“Why?” Jordan asked. His tone suggested I was certifiably insane.
“Because I’m chicken shit. I couldn’t face him,” I explained. “Not after everything.”
“But you said you talked?” Jordan asked. “Did he follow you? Oh my God, did he run after you? Because that would just melt my heart.”
“No, he didn’t follow me,” I scoffed. “That’s not Kellan’s style.”
“Maybe it wasn’t five years ago, but you don’t know what his style is now.”
“I guess that’s true,” I shrugged. “But, in any case, he didn’t follow me. I went back to the pub and found my mom. Everyone else was gone, so I decided to walk home. Kellan found me in the town square.”
“What did he say?” Jordan demanded.
“Nothing important,” I said, rolling my eyes again. “This isn’t a love story, Jordan. You aren’t going to be able to live vicariously through me on this one.”
“I refuse to believe that,” Jordan said dismissively. I could almost see him waving his hand impatiently. “What did he say?”
“He said he was sorry for my loss, that it was good to see me, that I looked beautiful… that kind of thing.”
“Swoon!” Jordan said again.
“Don’t do that!” I snapped. “He didn’t mean it. He was just playing into some script in his head that he’s been carrying around. Kellan left me, remember?”
“And then he came back,” Jordan said.
“No, I came back and I’m beginning to wish I hadn’t.”
I sighed deeply and moved another step forward. It was almost my turn to order. I was ready to get off the phone with Jordan, but I knew he wasn’t done talking.
“Julia,” Jordan said. “Listen to me, okay? Don’t let this become one of those things you don’t deal with.”
“What do you mean?” I demanded.
“You hide,” he said bluntly. “It’s what you do when things get rough. You run. You hide. You avoid. You, Julia Prewitt, are an avoider.”
“I am not,” I argued.
“You are,” Jordan insisted. “And that’s okay, because I get it. You’ve had to stay strong any way you could, but maybe it’s time to let your guard down.”
“With Kellan?” I asked.
“Yes, with Kellan,” Jordan hissed. “Are you telling me you don’t have any questions for him? That you haven’t thought about him once over the past five years?”
“Of course, I have,” I said. “But…”
“But nothing,” he said quickly. “This is your chance, Julia. All the unanswered questions you have, go get answers for them. And please, this time, don’t be mean to him.”
“How do you know I was mean?”
“Weren’t you?”
I paused, not wanting to admit he was right. I sighed and closed my eyes for a fraction of a second.
“Jordan,” I said weakly. “I was a total immature bitch.”
“I know,” he said. “Next time you see him, be nice. Just talk to him. See what happens.”
“And you’re sure that won’t open doors that are better left locked?”
“It might,” he admitted. “But how will you know if you never take the chance to find out?”
“You’re annoying,” I told him.
“Don’t I know it,” he laughed.
“I gotta go,” I told him. “I’m next in line.”
“Don’t forget my scones,” he said. “Talk soon. Love ya.”
He hung up right as I stepped up to the counter. I glanced at the display case beside me and my mouth immediately began to water.
“I’ll have one lemon scone and one apple raisin, please,” I ordered with a smile.
“We haven’t seen you around lately,” Angie said. “How have you been, Julia?”
“I’ve been good,” I said. “Busy with work and things, but good.”
“That’s nice to hear,” Angie nodded. She smiled kindly at me and I remembered why I loved her place. Everything here felt so homey and comfortable. The smell of vanilla and cinnamon was so strong you could smell it down the street. I loved it. “That’ll be $4.95.”
“Okay,” I said, reaching my hand into my purse. I groped around for my wallet, but couldn’t find it. I wrenched the purse wide open and peered inside, but my wallet was nowhere to be found. I slapped my hand to my forehead as I realized I had left it in my parents’ kitchen. I was in such a hurry to leave the house that I hadn’t grabbed it.
“Julia?” Angie asked.
“I’m so sorry, Angie,” I sputtered. “I must have left my wallet at home…”
“I got it,” a voice said from behind me. I spun around to see Kellan stepping out of line and making his way toward me. “Add a small coffee to that, please Angie.”
“You got it,” Angie smiled.
Kellan laid a ten-dollar bill on the counter and waved away his change. He picked up his coffee and my scones, leading the way outside. When we stepped onto the sidewalk I realized I was blushing with embarrassment.
“Thank you,” I said with sincerity. “Really, I appreciate it.”
“Hey,” he said. He handed me my bag of scones. Our hands brushed when I took it from him. I blushed deeper. “You helped me bypass the line. Technically, I owe you.”
“If you say so,” I laughed.
“You’re laughing,” he pointed out. “I guess that means you don’t hate me as much today.”
“I’m sorry about yesterday, Kellan,” I said softly. “You just… you took me by surprise. I didn’t think I would see you again. Ever. I just wasn’t ready.”
“It’s okay,” Kellan shrugged. “I probably deserved at least some hostility from you.”
“Well yeah,” I smiled. “Just a smidge.”
Kellan laughed and glanced nervously around. He shifted his feet from side to side and tucked his free hand inside his pocket. When our eyes met again, I saw a glimpse of the man I used to know. His dark eyes were deep with unspoken emotion. I couldn’t bring myself to look away.
“Listen,” he said. “Julia… I…”
“Do you want to sit down somewhere?” I asked quickly. “To talk? You know, catch up a little bit?”
Kellan’s smile was one of relief.
“I would love that,” he said. He gestured toward the benches across the street. I led the way, my scones gripped tightly in my shaking hands. I was more nervous than I’d ever been.
When we slid onto the bench, Kellan took a sip of his coffee and pulled out my lemon scone. I took a bite to avoid talking too quickly.
After a few minutes, I knew it was time to break the silence.
“So,” I said. “Tell me everything.”