I feel such a baby crying all over Alexander, but I really have had enough. It’s not really just today, but a few things that finally brought me to tears. I’m missing talking to my sister, and I’m sure the heat is affecting me in some way. I haven’t been sleeping properly because my brain won’t shut down the arguments I’m having in there with Paige. Then today was the icing on the cake really.

I love my dads and I know they were playing with Alexander and I, but they’d unintentionally ruined the day for me. I’d wanted to wander around on Alexander’s arm with our families. That never happened.

Alexander wants to spend time with his parents, which I understand, but I’m too annoyed at mine to want to hang around.

Which is why I’m lying to Alexander for the first time. “I’m going to go and wash up in the restrooms. I’ll catch up to you.”

“I’ll come with you,” he offers.

I shake my head and force the smile to reach my eyes. “You can’t come in with me, so I’d rather catch up to everyone than have you waiting.”

He glances off into the distance to where they wait for us and then back to me. “If you’re sure.”

“I am.” I reach up and kiss his cheek. “I love you.”

Before he can reply, I’m jogging toward the restrooms before I slow to a walk as I approach. Quickly glancing around, I don’t see my family, so I take the path to the right of the restrooms and make my way out of the gardens.

Guilt builds inside of me because I’ve never just up and disappeared on anyone before, but today, I don’t know. Something isn’t right, and I don’t want to be a part of anything right now.

The closer I get to the apartment, the more edgy I become. So I find my phone and message Alexander: Don’t worry about me. X

My phone rings and rings, which I ignore in my pocket, and then a message beeps, followed by another and another.

Letting myself into the apartment, I stand with my back against the closed door and look around wondering what to do next. I should have stayed and faced everyone instead of running away.

I’m not going to lie though—the air conditioning and the peace make it worth coming back here alone. My eyes focus on the unmade bed through the small entryway, and it looks so enticing.

My purse slips out of my hands and then I’m lying on the bed staring up at the ceiling. I take my phone from my pocket and turning onto my side, I open it up to messages from Alexander.

Where are you?

Rachel?

Are you at the apartment?

Rachel, I’m going crazy.

I love you.

Tears come to my eyes and I do something that I’ve avoided until we’re at home; I call my sister.

It takes a few minutes for her to answer but when she does her voice sounds so far away. I mean I know she is, but she sounds different.

“Paige, are you all right?” I ask, concerned.

“I can’t talk to you right now,” she replies and I can’t control the gasp and the tears that fill my eyes again. “Rachel, what’s wrong?” she quickly adds. “I didn’t mean to … I don’t know.” Paige sighs. “I can’t do anything right lately, and now you’ve called me and I’ve made you cry.”

“I don’t know what I’m doing Paige. I love Alexander so much, and I thought we’d be able to spend today together, but that didn’t happen because our dads kept us apart, and I’m tired because every time I try to sleep I play over and over in my mind what I’ll say to you when I see you. You’re my twin Paige. I love you and I don’t want anything between us. I can’t handle it anymore.” I sniffle into a tissue. “I want my sister back, my best friend.”

Now Paige is crying and it’s my entire fault. I don’t know how to make it right. I’m not giving up Alexander. Although he might want to give up on me when he realizes what a wreck I am.

“I’m sorry, Rachel,” Paige whispers. “So sorry that I’ve caused all of this between us.” She pauses. “Once I started I didn’t know how to stop. I love you both and I really am happy for you, but … but, I’m jealous as well. You’re my twin and we had plans for our future together, and then the minute Alexander decides he can’t live without you, you’re no longer mine. You’re his. I should have been happy for you instead of making your life difficult.”

“I have enough love for the both of you,” I admit and smile through my tears.

“When you come home, we’ll talk, okay?” Paige tells me, sounding tired.

“Are you sure everything is okay with you? You sound stressed.” I wipe at my tears and try to concentrate on the phone call. I want to catch anything that tells me what really is going on with her. “There is something I need to tell you, but I refuse to do it over the phone … I got your postcards.”

There is real amusement in her voice now.

“I’m glad.”

“Four arrived on the same day, so the date being on them helped.”

I laugh. “Well I hope you make room for them because there’s more on the way.”

She chuckles. “I can’t wait to receive them.” Silence follows and then she says, “Will you tell Alexander that I love him, and that I’m sorry for being a bitch to you both?”

“You can tell him yourself when we’re home.”

“No,” Paige says sharply. “You have to tell him today. Promise me Rachel.”

I frown. “I promise, but you have me worried now. You’re not hurt or anything?”

She sighs heavily.

“We’re friends again?” I plead.

“We’re twins again,” she replies.

“I love you, Sis.” She disconnects the call.

We’re twins again makes me smile. We’ve always said that. When we use that term, it means we’re stronger than friends.

It feels good to have talked to her, but I’m more worried about what is really going on with her. She didn’t answer my question about being hurt.

I switch my phone to silent and let it drop to the floor while I snuggle into the bed I share with Alexander. His scents all over the bed so I move to his side and bury my face into his pillow, and drift off to sleep.