The apartment that I shared with Paige, no longer feels lived in. Looking around, I can’t quite put my finger on it, but something is different.

Paige isn’t here because the place is too quiet, but where is she?

After a month in Italy with Alexander it feels even stranger being here without him, but I persuaded him to stay in Lexington because talking to Paige face-to-face is something I have to do alone. I know he was hurt with my decision, but he told me he understood, and I really hope he meant that.

Although I’ve spoken to Paige a few times from Italy something had felt off, which is why I’m here the day after arriving back in the states. I’m worried about her.

Her bedroom door is ajar, so I slowly enter and frown. Her bed hasn’t been slept in. She could have a boyfriend but surely she’d have mentioned it if she had. I move into the kitchen area and open the fridge. No food—only a few cans of diet coke. The cupboards are also half empty.

A key being placed in the lock to the apartment reaches my ears. I turn and find Ramon coming through the door looking tired. Actually he looks exhausted.

“What’s going on?” I ask, startling him.

“You’re here,” he states. “I thought you’d have stayed in Lexington a few more days before coming to find Paige.”

“Where is she? And Please don’t lie to me.”

He nods and drops onto the sofa. “She’s with Noah.”

“That doesn’t answer my question.”

I realize there is something terribly wrong when he holds my gaze. My feet take me closer to him and my legs give way, dropping me beside him.

“The day everyone met in Stowe for Charlotte’s wedding, she received a phone call from her doctor here in Boston.” He swallows hard and looks away. “She’s sick, Rachel, and the biggest issue has been her not wanting anyone to know.”

“What’s wrong?” I ask my eyes filling with tears.

“She hadn’t been feeling well, and after numerous tests, they decided to operate. She was fully aware that there was a possibility of losing her womb during the operation to remove the growth attached to it. That happened.”

When I see the tears on my dads face, I climb onto his lap like I did when I was a child and wrap myself around him. Offering comfort while taking my own.

“They said they got it all, but to be on the safe side, she’s having radiotherapy.” He grips me so tight; I can hardly breathe until he loosens his hold. “She’s going to be okay.”

I nod, crying into his chest. “Why didn’t she tell me? She’s my twin. I’d have been here with her every single day.”

“She was angry because of the situation she’d found herself in, and she lashed out at you. She’s sorry about that now, she didn’t want you to find out while you had the chance to finish up your language program in Italy.”

“I need to see her.”

“I know.”

“You’re exhausted though, so tell me where she is and I’ll go to her while you get some rest.” I frown. “You’re not staying here though, right? It doesn’t feel like anyone has been here for a while.”

“We’re at the hotel next to the hospital. I’ve come to get her a couple of books from your bookcase.”

“Then we’ll get the books, and I’ll take them too her while you rest.”

Dad goes to argue but I put my hand over his mouth. “I don’t want to have to worry about you and Dad making yourselves sick. Promise Dad that you’ll look after yourselves as well?”

“I promise.”

“Will you get the books from my room.” I move to sit in the armchair. “I didn’t pack all of them, so there should still be some there. I need a minute.”

He nods and disappears into my room while I try and control my emotions. How do I forgive myself for living my life so happily while she’s suffered through so much? “I should have been here for her. I would have been if I’d known.”

“She knows that, honey.” Ramon leans against the doorjamb, listening to my private conversation with myself. “You ready to go?”

No.

I nod.

* * *

The minute we enter the hospital the nerves in my belly grow until I feel dizzy with fear. My palms are sweaty and my forehead feels clammy.

Ramon glances at me from the corner of his eye, a worried looking passing over his features.

Hospitals have always made me nervous but add in the fact that I’m going visiting my sick sister. My twin. The guilt that is eating away inside of me is unbearable. I was so selfish, when she needed me the most. Why didn’t I realize she needed me?

“Stop!” Ramon makes me jump with the sharpness of his tone. He turns me to face him. “You have done absolutely nothing wrong. Paige made the decision to keep this to herself. She didn’t even tell us, Rachel.” His voice cracks. “We only found out because we’d arrived to talk to her as she was getting into a cab. We followed and confronted her.”

He shakes his head. “She’s always been the stubborn one.” He smiles. “You can’t blame yourself for anything. Paige is to blame for not telling anyone. No one else but Paige. Of course, we’d never tell her that because then she’ll be upset, and she already has enough to deal with. But please don’t blame yourself for anything.”

Ramon pulls me into his arms and holds me close. “Noah and I have always loved you for who you are. That will never change.” He cups my face in his rough hands. “I’m so sorry we hurt you in Italy. We love both our girls unconditionally.” He moves closer and holds his lips against my forehead in a lingering kiss.

“Let’s go and see your sister.”

“I’m afraid,” I admit.

He wraps an arm around my shoulders and keeps it there as we enter Paige’s room.

Paige and Noah turn to the open doorway and are surprised to see me with Ramon. I hold Paige’s gaze and burst into tears seconds after she does.

I run to her bed, and kicking my shoes off, I climb in with her, minding the wires and her stomach. We cling together, and I only faintly hear the door closing.

I had the feeling that I’d be in tears the moment I laid eyes on her, and that’s exactly what I did. It feels good to be with my sister again and I’ve missed her so much.

“I want to be angry that you didn’t tell me, but seeing you now, I can’t be.”

“I’m so sorry Rachel.” Paige sniffles. “I wanted you with me, but at the same time I knew how long you’d waited to be with Alexander. I know I was a bitch to you both. I just wasn’t handling the news well at all. I didn’t know what to do.”

“You’re my twin, and Alexander would have wanted to be here for us both if he’d known.” I wipe my tears away. “Let’s not talk about what should have happened, but about what’s going to happen now.”

“What do you want to know?”

“Everything, Paige. And don’t even consider leaving anything out. I mean it.”

She glances at me, and then moans. “God, I forgot how difficult you can be.”

I laugh. “Pot calling kettle.”

Paige grins, but turns serious. “I’m going to be okay, Rachel. I panicked in the beginning, but I promise I’m going to be fine.”

“I’m not leaving you.” I cling to her hand and then she stills when her finger touches my ring.

Her eyes widen and she lifts our joined hands to her face.

“I wanted to tell you myself and not over the phone.”

“Oh Rachel. I really am so happy for you.” She kisses my ring. “Is Alexander with you?”

“No.” I shake my head. “He desperately wanted to come, but because of everything, I wanted to come alone first. I’ll call him tonight and knowing him he’ll be on the next flight out … and not just because this is where I am.”

“As much as I wanted to go through all of this alone, I’m so glad our dads discovered what was going on and stayed with me. And I have my sister.” Paige smiles and rests her head on my chest. “I’m tired, which is to be expected, but I’m happy Rachel. Please don’t worry.”

Paige sleeps in my arms and I find myself also drifting off to sleep, thankful that I’m with my sister.