If anyone had predicted that my Saturday evening would feature me riding shotgun on Levi Yeager’s bubblegum-pink scooter, I wouldn’t have believed them. But fifteen minutes later, I kissed the top of my borrowed pink helmet for luck, secured the strap, and straddled the seat. I was ridiculously excited to rev the engine to life and zip through the streets of downtown Napa. I could imagine I was Audrey Hepburn in Roman Holiday or—

“Uh no. I’m driving,” Levi declared decisively as he zipped his leather jacket. “Hop off.”

I frowned. “I thought you were going to let me drive.”

“No way. You just told me you haven’t been on one of these in years.”

“It’s a glorified bicycle, Levi. Once you learn how, you never forget.”

He hooked his thumb and motioned for me to get moving. “I’m sure, but it’s almost dark now, and you’d need a few practice runs around the parking lot to familiarize yourself with how it handles.”

“She,” I corrected.

“How do you know this is a she?”

“It’s a navigation thing. They call ships and boats ‘she,’ so it makes sense that all moving vessels are ‘she.’ And…her energy is female powerful. Don’t ask how I know. I simply do.”

Levi shook his head in bewilderment. “I’m not going to touch that.”

“Wise.”

“But I’m also not letting you drive. You don’t have a license to operate a motorcycle. Or do you?”

“I did. Unfortunately, it’s expired.” I sighed dejectedly and slid off the bike. “It’s rather butch that I had a motorcycle license at all though, isn’t it?”

Levi snorted a half laugh then inclined his head in acquiescence. “Super butch. Just keep your man bag out of the way so it doesn’t nudge my back. Let’s do this.”

He hopped on the Vespa then scooted forward to give me room to climb on. I slipped my cat-eyed sunglasses on my nose, then snaked my arms around his waist, and gave him a thumbs-up sign.

And we were on our way.

Buzzing around town with my arms and legs wrapped around a sexy man who didn’t seem fazed by the color of his ride or the excessive enthusiasm of his passenger added a whole new dimension to my renewed experience. I pushed my glasses down my nose, so I wouldn’t miss a thing. Yes, I knew it was silly to wear sunglasses at night, but these were a particularly fun and glamorous pair, and this felt like the perfect occasion.

Everything about being plastered to Levi’s back with the hum of an engine underneath us was thrilling. It was a sensory feast allowing me to see familiar sights in a new way with a new friend. I reveled in my perspective of my adopted town from the back of the bike. The neon lights from my favorite shops and cafes blended well with the smell of his cologne and the feel of his muscular thighs against mine. And the twenty-minute cruise around the square and the outlying streets felt extraordinarily special in a way I couldn’t explain. I only knew we were creating a memory. And when he pulled into a parking space near my favorite Italian bistro, I had to curb my impulse to flatten my cheek against his shoulder and hug him in a show of gratitude.

I hopped off the Vespa and then spun around in the middle of the sidewalk with my arms open wide. “Oh, that was marvelous!”

Levi let out an “Oomph!” when my bag smacked him in the stomach. “Damn, what’s in that thing?”

“Everything. You name it—I’ve got it. Why did you stop? Did you change your mind about letting me drive?”

“No, but…are you hungry? There’s an Italian place on the corner with a great menu. I was hoping to lure you there to check out the font.”

I tried to tame my smile before it took over my face, but I quickly lost the battle. I flashed a grin at him and shook my head in mock censure. “It’s all about the font, isn’t it?”

“What can I say? I’m shallow like that.” Levi shrugged then unbuckled his helmet and gestured for me to do the same. I obeyed, absently watching his fingers fly as he threaded a lock through the safety gear and attached it to the scooter.

“Well, you’ve caught me in a weak moment. I’m famished, darling. Antonio’s pastas are divine. And the pizza is—”

Levi grabbed my elbow and stepped in front of me. “Hang on, Geord. Your glasses are crooked.”

He painstakingly straightened my frames then lowered them to stare into my eyes. I held his gaze for a long moment, wondering if he was going to kiss me again. I hoped he would, even though I’d told him not to less than thirty minutes ago. What the hell was wrong with me? I was never this wishy-washy. I wanted him to take over at the same time I wanted him to leave me alone. He was a dangerous combination of sexy and silly, and his odd persistence wore me down because the truth was…I loved the way he looked at me. He stirred something in me I hadn’t felt in forever.

I stepped backward and pulled my sunglasses off; then I slipped them inside my bag and tilted my chin. “Shall we?”

We scored a table for two tucked in the corner near the picture window overlooking the street. Last-minute seating in popular restaurants on a Saturday evening was one of the perks of being a long-term resident and business owner in the community. I thanked Antonio’s nephew, Saul, for accommodating us with such short notice and introduced him to Levi before placing my cocktail order. He took Levi’s order too then left us with menus and promised that our server would be by with our drinks shortly.

Levi picked up his menu and made a funny sound. “Limoncello? I’m surprised you didn’t order wine.”

“I sip wine all day. It’s nice to try something different. Limoncello tastes like starbursts and sunlight and summertime.”

“It’s winter,” he deadpanned.

“That makes it even better,” I replied with a half laugh. “Besides, it’s almost spring.”

“True. And spring just happens to be my favorite season.”

“Why?”

“Lots of reasons…longer days, warmer weather, beginnings, and baseball,” he replied as a waiter approached with our drinks. Levi waited for the young man to retreat before raising his beer in a toast.

I tapped my glass to his and smiled. “I’ll drink to everything but baseball.”

“Okay…to beginnings.”

I nodded then sipped my limoncello as I clandestinely observed my handsome companion. “You’re a slippery one, Mr. Yeager. Full of surprises. Tell me all about you.”

“We’ve already been through all that. I’m thirty-seven, single, a Pisces; I have one sibling…a younger half sister. I love sports, especially baseball. And I’m a sucker for a challenge, which is why I’m here opening a business I know next to nothing about in a town I haven’t visited in twenty-five years,” he said with a laugh. “Why are you here?”

“I can’t resist a pink Vespa.”

“That’s not what I meant,” he said, setting his hand over mine.

I pulled my hand away and tapped the menu distractedly. “Oh, I do hope you’re hungry. Are you in the mood for pizza or pasta? The sausage pizza is luminous but large. Would you care to share?”

“Hmm. An alliteration, a rhyme, and now you can’t sit still,” Levi said thoughtfully. “You don’t like talking about yourself, do you?”

“No,” I confirmed.

“You must have a good secret or two. Let me guess…you robbed a bank in LA then hightailed it north to go undercover.”

“Really, Levi? Look at me. I couldn’t go undercover if I tried,” I huffed derisively as the waiter approached.

We ordered more food than two grown men should consume in one sitting and asked to keep a menu in case we wanted to order more. The second the waiter turned around, Levi snatched the oversized thick piece of paper from my fingers and moved it out of my reach.

“I don’t want to talk about fonts yet. Tell me about the bank robbery first. Or…tell me the real story. The one about the fabulous Mexican American kid who joined the circus to be an acrobat but forgot he was afraid of heights,” he suggested with a wry grin.

“And clowns,” I added with a laugh.

“Naturally.” Levi smiled kindly.

I held his gaze for a moment then looked away with a shrug. “Fine. What do you want to know?”

“How old are you?”

I gave him the death glare he probably expected then grinned reluctantly when he guffawed like a child. “You’re hilarious. We’d better stick to font selection and menu ideas and—”

“I was kidding! Give me another chance.”

“Proceed with caution,” I advised, raising my glass in a mock toast.

“Okay. Let me try to remember what you’ve told me so far. You’re from LA—”

“East Los Angeles. I’m from the hood. I haven’t been to that particular section of town in nearly three decades, so I have no idea if anything has changed, but I assure you it wasn’t glamorous back then. Nothing like the part of Hollywood you visited last week.”

“I actually know LA pretty well. I lived in the Valley for five years before I moved here,” he said.

“Ah. Right. Your coaching days. I bet you were good at it.”

“What makes you say that?”

“You’re enthusiastic and you have a positive, upbeat demeanor. I would think those are important attributes in an educator. Or a coach. Do you miss it?”

“Some days I do. I liked the kids, but it wasn’t something I saw myself doing forever. I got itchy, you know? When I heard about Skillet, it seemed like the stars aligned. Then it got complicated.”

“With your man?” I cocked one brow and gave him a knowing look then thanked our server when he placed a basket of bread on our table.

Levi smiled tightly and nodded. “Yeah.”

“Tell me about the infamous chef.”

“We were talking about you, remember?”

I waved dismissively then leaned forward. “Oh, please. That’s boring. Poor, queer, fabulous Mexican kid gets disowned and kicked out, moves north to gay Mecca, pursues theater, drag and—”

“You were a drag queen?”

“A girl’s gotta make a living,” I replied with a shrug. “I was gorgeous, if I do say so myself.”

“And humble too,” Levi snarked.

“Who’s got time for humble? If you’ve got it, flaunt it. If you don’t, fake it. Life Lessons 101 from a former queen. Live out loud as often as possible. According to Henry David Thoreau, we’re all living lives of quiet desperation. I can’t always shake the desperation, but I refuse to be quiet.”

“Words to live by,” he commented, tapping his glass against mine. “For some reason, I thought you were an actor.”

“I was. Sort of. Not the actor I thought I’d be but make no mistake, I worked my ass off. Sure, I’d hoped to be a Broadway sensation, but I needed the money and the experience of performing in front of a crowd. I was too skinny to be a go-go dancer, or I might have done that instead. Faster money with a lot less effort. Instead, I put on a dress, heels, and a whole lot of makeup and sang to throngs of sexy men in the Castro. No lip-syncing. I actually sang. Well, most of the time anyway. I did a little of everything.

“That was well before RuPaul’s Drag Race. Drag wasn’t glamorous or popular with the masses back then. No one was particularly fascinated by the spectacle of raunchy queer living in the ’90s unless it effected them personally. In a way, it was pure theater and the actors provided both comic relief and a cultural touchstone for what was happening on the streets. Our friends were dying of AIDS, and we were afraid. But giving up was another kind of death. Let me tell you something, Levi 501.…There is nothing more powerful than a man dressed as a woman with a righteous cause and a story to tell. And to know that underneath it is a gay boy who’s had to pull himself up off the ground time and time again…” I paused to let out a low whistle. “That takes serious fucking balls. I’m proud of my days as a queen.”

“Wow. I’m—I had no idea. But I can see it. I wasn’t trying to flatter you earlier. You are beautiful,” he said, looking slightly awestruck.

“Thank you. But the best thing about doing drag was that it showed me I was strong. I’d rather be strong than pretty any day.”

Two servers descended to deliver our pizza and salads. I gently pulled a slice from the tray and set it on my plate then dusted my food liberally with hot peppers and parmesan. Levi speared a bite of lettuce before pausing with his fork in midair.

“What was your drag name?”

“Jordana.”

“That’s it? Jordana sounds kind of tame. I thought bawdy, raunchy, and suggestive names were the norm for any self-respecting queen,” he teased.

I flashed a mischievous grin and nodded emphatically. “My full name was Jordana Banana, Queen Bitch of Habana. Part of the schtick was explaining that I was Mexican, not Cuban. I made it into this teaching moment about Latino culture, but I kept it funny, you know?”

“Where did the banana fit in?”

I winked meaningfully. “I ate a banana during every act.”

“What? Oh. Like…” He made a lewd tongue in cheek gesture before picking up his pizza and taking a healthy bite.

I chuckled. “Exactly. You wouldn’t believe how much money a roomful of gays were willing to pay for the thrill of seeing me slowly unpeel a banana and then make love to it…inch by inch.”

Levi set his pizza crust aside and reached for his napkin. He dabbed at the corner of his mouth and fixed me with a hungry look that went straight to my cock.

“We’d better change the subject,” he growled.

“Um, yes. Well, soon after, I was rescued by a charming prince and whisked off to the land of grape juice and here I am,” I singsonged.

“Your husband?”

I inhaled deeply then shook my head. “We never married, but yes, Mike was my prince charming. But I’d rather not cry in my limoncello, so tell me about you and the chef. What was his name again?”

“Kevin,” he sighed.

“Go on. How did you come together? How did you fall apart? Is he the one that got away or the one you hope stays away? And do eat. This pizza is divine,” I urged, motioning manically to his plate.

Levi gave me an amused half smile and picked up his fork. “Long story short. We met in line at Starbucks. We bumped into each other every day for a month before I worked up the nerve to say hi. I wasn’t sure if he was gay or not. And though I knew I was, I wasn’t sure how to be…out, if you know what I mean.”

“I think I do, but it’s been a while since I’ve been in a closet that wasn’t specifically for clothes. How did you woo him? Don’t tell me you offered him a ride on your pink scooter.”

Levi snorted then leaned across the table. “Nope. He’s been on it once or twice but you’re the only guy who’s ever been behind me on my—”

“Are you gentlemen enjoying your meal?” the waiter asked, sidling over with a water pitcher.

I assured him we were and then turned to Levi with a faux-surprised look on my face. “Aren’t you scandalous? You know he’s going back to the kitchen to tell everyone he doesn’t know who’s riding whom.”

Levi choked on his beer. “Jesus, Geordie!”

I busted up laughing. “Oh, who cares? Let them think what they want. It’s what keeps us entertained in life, isn’t it? Back to your beau. So you won his heart over a venti latte with a double shot of espresso, and then what happened?”

“We fizzled out, I guess. We were together for three years and I don’t know…I thought we wanted the same things, but I was wrong. We were set to move here together and start a life and…he couldn’t handle it.”

I gave him a shrewd sideways glance. “Something is missing. I know I’m being terribly nosy but—”

“He changed his mind.”

“About what?”

“Me. Us.”

“Oh.”

Levi huffed. “In a way, I got what I asked for. He wasn’t ready to be out and I pushed, and he freaked and now here I am.”

“So you really are newly out of the closet,” I commented.

“Yeah. I didn’t mean for it to be that way. I mean…I thought I was straight when I was in high school until I got a boner every time Mickey Bronson went to bat. Then I figured it was a bi thing, and I’d have to keep the ‘gay’ side of my sexuality under wraps until my baseball career was over. I had girlfriends and I fooled around, and I thought I had it under control. But the first time I kissed a guy, I knew for sure I was gay. And I wasn’t a little gay either. I was a one hundred percent rainbow-certified homo.”

“How old were you?”

“Nineteen.”

An awkward silence filled the space between us. I was certainly curious about his journey from straight dude to homo jock but didn’t want to push him for an old story he might not want to share. Lord knew I had a fuckton of those myself. But when he tossed another piece of pizza onto his plate and reached for the parmesan, I was suddenly anxious not to let the moment slip away.

“And then what? What did you do?” I prodded.

“Nothing. Absolutely nothing. I don’t know if this makes any sense, but I felt trapped by what I wanted and who I was. There was no way I could be an out and proud gay baseball player eighteen years ago. No chance. I’d have spent one season on the bench and been cut the next. And you can say I’m a coward or an opportunistic dickhead, and you’d probably be right. But I had a very big fucking dream, and I knew without a doubt that I couldn’t let anyone know the truth about me, or I’d never get my shot. So I lived a lie.”

“Did it pay off?”

Levi snorted derisively. “That would be a resounding no. Sure, I was able to do something I love, and I made some money and wise investments, but I didn’t care about the money. My dream was to play the game I loved at the highest level possible. I got close a couple of times, but I never went all the way.”

“Your ‘all the way’ and mine may be different, darling. Are you saying you’ve never had anal sex or—”

Levi scowled at me then turned in his seat and scanned the neighboring tables. “No. I’m talking about the big league…not sex.”

I snickered at his put-upon expression. “Oops. Pardon moi. Is anal a no-go at the dinner table?”

Levi rolled his eyes. “Really?”

“You’ll have to forgive me. I forget the rules. It’s been so long since I’ve been on a date with a sexy, handsome man. Let me make a quick note.” I pulled out my phone and pretended to type. “Levi does not discuss anal at the dinner table.”

He shook his head and gave me a lazy grin. “You’re slightly insane. We can talk about anything you want…since this is a date.”

“I was joking. This isn’t a date,” I said, pushing my plate back. “I don’t date. But if I did, I have a strict ‘no closet case’ rule and—”

“I’m not in the closet,” he intercepted. “I’m out. That’s what I’ve been telling you. My ex wasn’t ready to be out but I was, and it ended our relationship. I don’t hate Kev. Yeah, his timing sucked balls, but he’s a good man and I wish him well. But me? I’m out. My problem is…I don’t know how to be out. I’m not like you, Geord. I’m never gonna be the guy who wears pink feathers on his shoes.”

“But you’ll drive around on a pink scooter?”

“Sure. Sometimes pink is just a color, and sometimes it’s a statement. I don’t know how to make a statement that feels authentic to me. Do you know what I mean?”

“Yes. You’ve been in the closet for so long, you don’t know how to snare a man.”

Levi set his fork down and stared at me for a long moment before speaking.

“I’m being serious, Geord. I’m just an average, ordinary guy who’s trying to find a new passion. I don’t mean a love affair. I mean a reason to get up in the morning and be happy the sun is shining, the refrigerator is full, and that I have a roof over my head. I’ve lived most of my life in the closet. Not because I was ashamed to be gay but because baseball mattered more to me than being out. And then I got injured and it was over. I thought coaching was a good solution to a broken dream. I could share my passion with others who love the game.”

“But you still couldn’t come out,” I supplied, picking up my fork.

“No. Truthfully, it didn’t matter to me at first. I don’t…live my sexuality the way you do. It doesn’t define me or—”

I dropped my fork noisily and growled. It was the best I could do to shut him up while I finished chewing my food. “Oh, honey. You might want to step back and try again.”

“Okay. Gay is not who I am.”

“I hate it when people say that. It sounds so straight. Like you’re compensating. Why not own it all? I’m gay, I’m Mexican, I’m tall, I have brown eyes, I talk a lot. This is who I am.”

“That’s great. I just don’t put ‘gay’ first.”

“Hmph. Well, I think that’s too bad, but I’m judgy like that. Be true to yourself, Levi Yeager. Don’t hide behind what others think you should be or how they assume you’ll act to keep the peace.”

“Uh…that’s not what I mean.”

“I know exactly what you mean. You’re accustomed to labels and stereotypes and you’re not sure how to wear your new tiara. But…do tell the rest of your enticing tale, Levi. I’m on the edge of my seat,” I said haughtily.

“ ‘Tell your enticing tale.’ I’m in trouble, aren’t I?”

I sighed wearily. “We have no depth between us, Levi. You aren’t the sort of trouble that will stick to me. We’re acquaintances. Nothing more. This isn’t a date, and it’s not my place to instruct you on the art of living your best gay life.”

“But you could,” he said, grabbing my wrist. “I want to learn.”

“Excuse me?” I slapped his hand and gave him a withering once-over.

“Teach me.”

“Teach you what? How to be gay?” I asked incredulously.

“Well…yeah.”

I cocked my head and studied him. He looked relatively sane. “I am not rendered speechless often, but you’ve managed it twice this evening. First your Harley turns into a Vespa and now you want a crash course in how to be a homo. Color me intrigued.”

“I know how to…”

“Fuck a guy?”

“I know how to do that just fine, Geord,” he said in a sultry voice that sent a tingle of awareness up my spine.

The air crackled between us with an erotic pull that was stronger than I anticipated. I had to maneuver us back to safety, or I’d end up doing or saying something I’d regret.

“Then what are you after? A gay tutor?”

“That sounds weird. I want to be out and proud. Like you. But I’m not like you. I’m me. I can honestly say I don’t know anyone like you, Geordie.” He looked away for a moment before leaning closer. “You’re not my type at all, but my dick has been half-hard since you hopped on the back of that fucking scooter an hour ago. Every time you open your mouth, I’m torn between being slightly mortified at what you’re going to say next to thinking I’d better listen very closely ’cause I think I just met the most incredible person on the planet.”

His impassioned words spoken in a low, husky tone moved through me like liquid fire. I wasn’t sure what to think of my quickening pulse or my sudden urge to stick my tongue down his throat. I bit my bottom lip and considered him carefully.

“Well, I’m not sure what to say. I thought we were going to be font friends.”

Levi snickered softly. “Sure, but—”

I held up my hand and shook my head. “Don’t explain any further. I understand. And I can help. The first thing you need to do is announce yourself,” I advised sagely.

“Huh? How?”

“That’s what I did when I left home and whenever I was in a new situation where I felt vaguely threatened. It was my way of turning the tables and getting any uncomfortable nonsense out of the way. I’d walk into a room and announce, ‘I’m gay.’ It was so liberating. And when it no longer sent a titillating twitter around the room, I sang aloud. Which eventually led to singing show tunes and standards. Barbra, Liza, Judy, Cher…they were my calling card. I’m here, I’m queer, and I’m not going to hide. I refuse to be afraid. I refuse to back down, and I refuse to make you comfortable.”

“You’re really freaking awesome, you know that?” he beamed.

“Why, thank you,” I replied, returning his megawatt grin with one of my own.

“But you know I’m not gonna do that.”

“Announce yourself your way. Say who you are and what you want. Take control. Trust me, it’s the first step.”

“Okay.” He cleared his throat and whispered, “My name is Levi and I’m gay.”

I chuckled at his hushed theatrics. “Bravo, darling. Keep practicing. Eventually you’ll turn up the volume and—what are you doing?”

Levi’s chair scraped against the hardwood floor as he stood. He tossed a cocky grin at me then walked out of the restaurant. I furrowed my brow and watched the door for a moment before peeking out the window. I braced myself for him to reenter and do or say something silly. The thought alone made me chuckle. I set my napkin on the table and waited for the show to begin.

When he didn’t return right away, I frowned and pulled out my phone to scroll through my messages as though being unceremoniously abandoned at one of my favorite restaurants before the check arrived was a nonevent.

“Sir, would you like me to box the rest of your pizza?” the server asked when he returned. “Saul instructed me to bring you a complimentary tiramisu too. I’m happy to box that as well.”

“That’s very kind of him, but no thank you. Just the bill, please.”

“Your friend already paid.”

I did a double take and pointed at the empty chair. “Him? When?”

“I’m not sure when, but I know your tab has been closed and paid for.”

“I would have noticed if—”

The door flew open just then and Levi sailed into the crowded dining room with his arms stretched wide. His size and commanding stance would have garnered him attention, but the pink helmet on his head guaranteed it. He stopped a few feet from our table then addressed the room.

“Hello! My name is Levi and I’m gay.”

The restaurant instantly erupted in applause, catcalls, and cheers. I chuckled appreciatively at the spectacle and cheered along with the crowd.

“Bravo, darling. You’ve given everyone here something to talk about over dinner. Now you may take me home.” I stood to join him, inclining my head toward the exit.

“One more thing.” He pulled the helmet off and set it on my head then slipped his hand in mine and fell down on one knee.

A collective gasp went around the room followed by a twittered speculation that an actual marriage proposal was happening at that very moment. Cameras flashed, and I thought I heard someone yell my name, but I wasn’t sure. I didn’t know what the hell was going on or how I felt about it. Was this still funny or cause for alarm?

I glared at him fiercely and hissed through my teeth, “What are you doing?”

“I’m telling you how I feel. Out loud…like you suggested.”

“No, I didn’t suggest—”

“Yes, you did. So here goes…I have a really big crush on you, Geordie, and I want everyone to know.” He stood then and bent to kiss my hand.

And yes, he shocked the hell out of me. Again.

I narrowed my eyes, but I couldn’t pull off an irritated look and laugh at the same time. Levi chuckled and squeezed my hand; then he pulled me through the maze of confused diners who weren’t sure if they should congratulate me or ask if this guy was sane.

The second we stepped outside, I pulled out of his grasp. I shrugged my coat on then flattened my back against the brick façade of the adjacent building and glanced up at the sky. “You shouldn’t have done that. People know me here, Levi. This is a small town, and you just started a big rumor.”

He set his forefinger under my chin and smiled. “Maybe. But I got what I wanted.”

“And what was that?”

“I made you laugh.”

I held my lopsided smirk for a second before it became a full-fledged, ear-to-ear grin. “You did.”

The ride back to Conrad Winery felt different somehow. Night had descended, and the evening air felt cool on my cheeks. I buried my face against Levi’s back and let the gentle hum of the Vespa engine lull me and keep me firmly in the present. He passed the giant iron gate emblazoned with the letter C then wended his way along the cypress-lined drive to the winery entrance. I signaled for him to turn onto the private road leading to my house. I almost asked if he needed directions, but he seemed to know where to go, and I didn’t want to break the silence.

Levi pulled up in front of my place and turned off the engine. I unfastened the strap on my helmet then grabbed his elbow for balance and hopped off the bike.

“Thank you for the magical evening. I’ll see you soon, my fontish friend,” I singsonged.

“Fontish, eh?” he snorted and unbuckled his helmet then stood and set it over the handlebar.

“There’s no need to get up. I’ll just give you this now.”

Levi stared at the pink helmet in my hand like he wasn’t quite sure what to do with it. He frowned as he reached out to take it from me. “Maybe you should keep it.”

“For next time?”

“Yeah,” he replied with a shy half smile. “We can take this for a spin in the parking lot. I’ll even let you drive.”

“By myself or would you get behind me?” I furrowed my brow. “Did that sound odd? Because I didn’t mean—”

Levi tugged my wrist and pulled me close. “Shh.”

“What are you doing?”

“I have no fucking idea.” His gaze darted from my eyes to my lips and back again as though awaiting permission.

“Levi, I can’t.”

But I didn’t move. I couldn’t. I was mesmerized by his nearness. He smelled so good, and he felt warm and strong. It was an intoxicating combination I couldn’t push away.

“Okay.” Levi nodded but he didn’t move. “I don’t want to ask you for something you can’t give me. I know you may be hurting and sad but I…I love it when you laugh. I can’t get you out of my head, Geordie and I—”

I set my arms over his shoulders just as he swooped in and sealed his mouth over mine in a passionate kiss that sent my pulse through the roof. Fuck, I wanted this. Exactly this. I wanted to be as close as physically possible to whatever it was in him that made me feel alive. He exuded joy and desire, and I wasn’t going to fight it. Not this time.

I raked my fingers through his thick hair and licked his lips in a silent request for entry. Our tongues dueled, gliding and twisting in a sensual dance we were better at than we should have been. I hummed into the connection, biting his bottom lip then thrusting my tongue inside his mouth until we were both panting for air.

I rested my forehead against his, loving the feel of his breath on my lips. Then I backed up slightly and smiled.

“Good night, Levi.”

“Let me walk you to your door. Come on.”

He slipped his hand in mine and pulled me along the short pathway to my porch. I dug in my bag for my keys then held them up and turned to fumble with the lock. I pushed the door ajar and made a weak circular motion that was supposed to be a wave good-bye.

“This is me. I mean…it’s my house,” I said awkwardly.

One side of Levi’s mouth curled in a lopsided grin. “It’s a good house.”

“Yeah.” I bit the inside of my cheek then reached out to rub my thumb along his jaw before cupping his neck and pulling him forward. “You should go.”

“Do you really want me to go?” he whispered.

“No.” I shook my head and kissed him again.

We made out in the doorway for a few minutes, feverishly sucking and licking while our hands roamed freely. I flattened my palms over his chest and moved them down his taut stomach then around his waist. 

“What does your skin feel like? I wish I could feel you and—”

“You can. Invite me inside, Geord.”

I stared at him for a long moment. My heartbeat reverberated in my ears. I felt shaky, like I was stuck on a rollercoaster ride at the top of a treacherous dip with no way to gauge how far the fall was. This was the tipping point and—fuck it.

I threw my arms around his neck and pounced, licking his lips then plunging my tongue inside as I backed him against the open door. The second we cleared the entry, I stepped between his open legs and molded my chest against his. Then I wrapped my arms around his neck and licked his jaw. He captured my mouth in a rough kiss. His scruff felt like sandpaper against my smooth-shaven cheek. The contrast was a wild turn-on. And when he thrust his tongue between my lips, I may have actually whimpered with need.

That was what this was…need. I was attracted to Levi’s sense of humor and strong character and determination but honestly, I was flat-out in awe of his thick torso and muscular abs. My body hummed with desire. I wanted to kiss him, lick him, run my hands down his chest, and squeeze his nipples until he begged me to suck them. And I wanted everything at once.

I ground my hips against his suggestively, loving the feel of his hard-on through our clothes. Levi tugged my shirt from my pants then slipped his fingers underneath and splayed them on my lower back. I did the same to him, careful not to break the manic kiss in my quest for skin. 

“You feel so warm. Like sunshine,” I purred, licking his Adam’s apple then biting his chin. “Let me touch you.”

“Go for it. Do whatever you want.”

I backed up slightly and met his gaze. I was tempted to joke about the broad spectrum of “things I wanted to do to him” but I realized immediately—this wasn’t a lascivious invitation. He was giving me the reins in a gesture of respect. I didn’t know it was possible to be emotionally touched and turned-on at the same time.

“Whatever I want,” I repeated.

“Yes.” He traced my jaw with his thumb then threaded his fingers through my hair and kissed my forehead.

The sweetness undid me. I leaned into him for a moment before capturing his wrist.

“Come with me.”

My home was a one-story ranch with two wings and bedrooms located on either end. The main living area and kitchen anchored the space. Huge floor-to-ceiling windows provided ample natural lighting and allowed breathtaking vistas of the vineyards from every room in the house, especially the master suite. I moved to my left toward my room out of habit but immediately stopped in my tracks. I couldn’t bring a man in there. I wasn’t ready.

Levi set his hand on my lower back as if sensing my inner turmoil. “It’s okay, Geord. We don’t have to—”

“This way.”

I turned back down a wide hallway, past my home office to the first guest room on the right. I paused to hit the switch on the wall and get my bearings. No one but the housekeeping staff had been in this wing in ages. Guests usually stayed at Wes and Nick’s place because it was bigger and closer to the winery. I hadn’t hosted a party of my own in so long that I forgot what half of my house looked like.

“This is nice.”

“Yeah, it is,” I nodded in agreement and took a cursory glance around the guest room.

“You seem surprised. This is your home, right?” Levi chuckled.

“I think so. I haven’t been in this room in a while. It’s so…blue.”

The walls and the roman blinds were white, but every accent from the duvet and decorative throw pillows to the silk curtains framing the window were shades of indigo. I noted the photographs of the Pacific Ocean on the wall across from the queen-sized bed and wondered if I’d picked those out. I could almost swear I’d never been in this room before. Which made it the perfect place to be now.

I shrugged my coat from my shoulders and draped it over a navy upholstered bench at the end of the bed with my red scarf. Then I kicked off my shoes and sat on the edge of the mattress, patting the space beside me in invitation.

Levi moved forward and started to sit but at the last second, he fell on top of me and flattened his chest against mine. I let out an oomph of surprise then opened my arms and legs and drew him close. Levi buried his nose in the crook of my neck, nibbling my earlobe and then rocking his hips suggestively. I hiked my legs over his ass and met his thrusts eagerly. His thick, muscular weight covered me like a blanket. He was solid and strong, and he felt safe. Though when he pinned my hands above my head and drove his tongue inside my mouth and ground his heavy dick alongside mine, the last thing I wanted was safe. I wanted rough and dangerous.

Levi broke for air with a gasp then released his hold to slip his right hand under my shirt. He shifted sideways and tweaked my tits and then ran his fingers down my chest. I moaned when he cupped my length through my trousers.

“Mmm. That’s good,” I whispered.

“You’re so beautiful. Can I touch you?”

“Fuck, yes.”

I unbuckled, unbuttoned, and unzipped in record time. Levi wasn’t as quick. He removed his boots and was midzip on his jeans when I rolled to my side to watch the show. He flashed a sly grin, slowly lowered his zipper, and then lifted his hips to push them over his ass. He left his black boxer briefs on, but the cotton fabric was no match for his thick cock. The tip peeked over the elastic band. I reached out to run my fingers over the wide mushroom head, smearing precum over the crown. Levi seemed amused by my awed expression. Or maybe he understood.

I licked my lips hungrily as he slipped his plaid shirt over his shoulders, revealing his toned, muscular chest. A light smattering of hair covered his pecs then narrowed to a trail leading south. My fingers itched. In fact, my whole body trembled with need just thinking of all the naughty things I wanted to do to him.

“Lie down, Geord,” he commanded. He stood abruptly and yanked back the duvet.

I scrambled to my knees to push the covers aside and started to obey but when he hooked his thumbs under the waistband of his briefs, my plans changed.

“No. Let me. I need to touch you first. Just…lie down. Please.”

Levi considered me thoughtfully and then nodded. He lay on the pristine white sheets and propped his hands behind his head in a show of surrender. I kneeled beside him and took a moment to admire his toned physique before gently tracing his V-line. Then I lifted the elastic and slowly lowered it over his rigid shaft. And wow, he was perfect. Long and thick and beautiful.

I pushed the fabric down his legs and tossed it haphazardly toward the pile of clothing on the bench before reaching for him. My grip was tentative at first. I felt like a novice, which was kind of funny. I was a veteran when it came to matters of the cock. I’d never been shy about sex. I loved everything about it. Hand jobs, blowjobs, anal. I’d honed my expertise in my twenties and practiced with many gentlemen callers like I was competing in a sport. Then Mike came along, and sex became an expression of love and gratitude. I wasn’t sure where that left me now. I didn’t love Levi. I barely knew him. But I liked him and admired him. And I couldn’t lie to myself. I wanted him.

It made no sense but it felt right, I mused as I tightened my hold and stroked him languidly. He hummed at the contact and lifted his hips in a wordless request for more. I cupped his balls, rolling them one at a time as I continued to work him over, twisting my wrist expertly with each pass. I liked the way Levi watched me with hooded eyes. He struck the perfect balance that gave me freedom to explore and himself permission to enjoy. When he widened his knees to give me more room, I scooted closer until my knees nudged the backs of his thighs. The contrast of my dark trousers against his naked ass added a sensual element that brought to mind a porn-worthy scenario that made my sex-hazed brain short circuit and demand that I take more. Much more.

So I did. I bent to lick his shaft from base to tip. Circling my tongue over his crown then sucking precum from the head before swallowing him whole.

“Oh, fuck.” Levi arched his back and lifted his hips wantonly.

We found a rhythm right away. Sucking, licking, stroking, and writhing, letting the momentum steadily build. I reached down to free my cock just as Levi grabbed my hair. I gripped my shaft through my briefs and let him take over. He was rough, but I liked it. I’d always been a big fan of raunchy, uninhibited sex. And I loved that he didn’t hold anything back.

When he dug his heels into the mattress and pushed my forehead, I knew he was close.

“It’s okay. I want it,” I said in a raspy tone.

Levi was too far gone to argue. He grabbed my hair and fucked my mouth greedily before losing his rhythm and falling apart. I swallowed every drop, sucking him dry as he trembled underneath me. I kissed his inner thigh then collapsed on the bed, beside him. Then I shoved my pants and briefs over my erection and squeezed my impossibly hard prick. It wouldn’t take much. Just a little more…

“Mine.” Levi rolled to his side and covered my hand to stop my incessant stroking. Then he crashed his mouth over mine before I could argue. And yeah, I fucking loved the way he sucked on my tongue, knowing he wanted to taste himself on me.

I broke for air and shook my head. “I’m gonna come any second and—”

“Not yet.” Levi bit my bottom lip and then slid down my torso. He brushed his nose over my length, breathing me in before gazing up at me. “You’re perfect. So damn pretty.”

“No, I’m—oh God, yes!” I clutched his shoulder for purchase when he wrapped his fingers around me and then sucked as though his life depended on it. And when he licked my balls then went lower still, flicking his tongue over my hole, I knew my orgasm was about to hit, and I had a feeling it would be fierce.

I roared with the force of my release, bucking my hips wildly as cum spurted up my chest. Levi rested his cheek on my thigh while I rode out the waves of pleasure. The gesture was oddly comforting. I combed my fingers through his hair and laughed for no reason at all. I just felt…good. No, I felt amazing.

Levi looked up at me and smiled. Then he climbed over me and licked my stomach before flattening himself on top of me and capturing my mouth in a sensual tangle of tongues that left me breathless and weak.

We lay there quietly for a few minutes. The silence was dangerous. It could either signal a beginning or an end. At least that was the way I remembered these things going.

“Levi?”

“Yeah?”

“I don’t know what to do now,” I whispered.

He rolled sideways to face me and set his hand on my bare hip. “Just relax. Nothing changes, Geord. I got you.”

I wrinkled my brow. “What do you mean?”

He traced my jawline with his forefinger and smiled. “There’s no hidden message. I don’t expect anything from you, but I’m not going to disappear either. I’m here. The rest is up to you. And before you freak out…I’m not staying the night. You can let me know when you want to see me again to—”

“Tomorrow,” I said softly. I kissed his hand and then sat up. “Meet me for coffee in the park.”

Levi’s radiant grin warmed me from the inside out. I couldn’t help returning the gesture times ten. I had no idea what happened now, but I knew without a doubt—this was a beginning.