Chapter 21
My hands glide over the four strings of my bass guitar as I try out a new song with Harley. For as long as I live, my favorite memories of Harley will always be our jam sessions before the rest of the guys come to practice. We used to have guitar duels on the streets of LA and people would go nuts. Those were the days we’d come home with a ton of tips. There are days that I miss that.
“Last concert.” Harley stops playing. “It’ll be nice to be home for a while. I love you guys but I need some Laney time.”
I think about what will happen now that the tour is over. Will I see Katrina? Will she want to continue whatever this is we’ve started? I’ve never had a relationship and I’m not entirely sure how any of this works. Her career has taken off since she joined us on the road. What if she takes a job in another city?
“Earth to Chance,” Harley snaps his fingers at me. “You alright?”
“I slept with Katrina.” I wait for his disapproval but it doesn’t come.
“And?”
“I don’t know,” I sigh. “I’ve never known what it feels like to love a woman. Not in this way anyway. I’m out of my element here.”
Harley’s eyes are wide. “Do you love her?”
“I don’t know. How will I know?”
“Would you rather be with her right now?”
“Yes,” I chuckle. “I’d rather be with her than anywhere. I’ve spent so many nights with her just holding her while we slept. That’s chick shit. That’s why I’m thinking I might love her.’
Harley laughs. “A few weeks ago when she was a total bitch when you were around, we all knew something was happening. You were clueless because you were just pissed. But she watched you constantly and just the mention of your name sent her into bitch mode. It’s like the elementary kid that has a crush on the girl so he pulls her hair and calls her names. Same principal.”
“I just thought she was a crazy bitch. A fine one, though. I never missed the fact she was smoking hot.”
“That she is.” Harley puts his guitar away and looks over at me. “Think you’ll ever be ready to tell me what happened to you as a kid?”
“I have a hard time even admitting it to myself. The only person I ever told was Dell. Even Katrina doesn’t know and she was with me back then. Sorry, man. I just can’t.” I follow suit and put my guitar away.
“I miss her.” Harley sighs. “I miss having that one person who everyone confided in. She knew so much about each of us and never repeated a thing. She never told me anything any of you told her in confidence. She really held us together. I miss having someone like that.”
“We have Max. Is it weird he reminds me so much of Della?” I smile thinking about how their spirits were so similar. “He’s got that same zest for life. It’s hard to explain.”
“I see it, too. When she first died, it was so hard to be around him. Everyone assumed it was because he admitted he loved her. It wasn’t that at all. I’d always known that, I think. It was that he reminded me so much of her.”
I hug him and slap him on the back. “We’ve got a good life, man. We’ve seen some shit and certainly caused our share of it. But we’ve each got a nice place to go home to. And you guys all have women and someday, there’ll be kids. We’ve come a long way, brother.”
“Let’s nail this show tonight. Last one.”
“Best one.” I hold the door open for him and he heads out first. Time to head to the theater and rock this town.
“Hello Honolulu,” D’Rey yells into the mic and the crowd goes crazy. “This is the last stop on our US tour. We’ve had a blast.”
“We want to thank you guys for buying our albums and coming out tonight.” Max’s voice is crystal clear. Damien and I have developed a rasp and I’m ready to be done singing every night.
“So, Chance wrote a song.” Damien points at me and the crowd screams. “It’s going to be on our next album but we thought we might play a little of it for you. What do you think?”
I laugh when the screams become louder. Our fans are incredible and they’ve made our dreams come true. They have no idea how much we love them.
“Ladies and gentlemen, this is Redemption.”
Max starts the beat and Harley’s guitar starts the melody. It’s a haunting song but the fans respond to it. We’ve all got something we need redemption for.
“Save me from evil, from wrath, from sin. Redemption I pray fore I wrong again. I left you in darkness, my cross to bear. Loneliness blankets a soul so fair.”
When I wrote these words, I was thinking about my past. How fitting that it walked back in and forgave me. I remember every minute I spent with Kat all those years ago. They’re permanently etched in my mind. How does any man get lucky enough to have a second chance to do things right?
I search the front row for her but I don’t see her. Maybe she decided to skip this concert. I know in my heart that’s not possible. It’s the last concert. I look again and still nothing. I glance over to where Joshua stands every concert and there she is. My Katrina. My heart pounds harder, my smile is brighter.
Joshua has his arm around her and they’re both staring out at us on stage. He’s a good looking guy. We’re going to have to talk about the half hug later. For now, I want to finish this beautiful song I wrote for the gorgeous girl in the bedroom next to mine growing up. I wonder if she’ll ever realize this is about her.
“Goodnight Hawaii,” Harley yells as the lights go out. The crowd wants more and the adrenaline kicks in. I’m going to miss this.
I jog offstage and make a straight line for Katrina. She smiles at me and I fall a little more. I push my guitar onto my back and take her in my arms. I’m sweaty but I don’t care. I need to hold her.
“You were amazing,” she beams.
I kiss her. I love this woman’s mouth. It’s perfect. Her lips are full and beg for mine. Just a simple kiss and all is right in the world. Her tongue begs for entry and I open without hesitation. The touch of her tongue on mine is electric. If this is all I ever get in my life, it will be enough.
“Want to head back to the hotel and work out some of this energy?” She winks at me.
“You know exactly what I need.” I put my arm around her and lead her back to the dressing room. We can’t have sex here. Too many of my conquests happened in my dressing room. She’s better than that. Let’s hope this is one of the nights the guys move their asses so we can get the bus rolling.