Chapter 12
I pound on Harley’s door. I hate to wake him up. I’ll hate it even worse if Laney is here. But I need answers right now. This can’t wait until morning.
“Katrina,” Harley rubs his eyes. “What’s going on?”
He steps aside as I push into his room. “Where is Chance from? Where are his parents?”
Harley is clearly confused but he sits down and tries to make sense of my rambling. “Um, Maywood I think. He used to talk to Della about this stuff. She never told me anything. I’m not sure about his parents. Why?”
“Is it possible he doesn’t have parents? Think, please Harley. Think.”
“What the hell is going on?” He’s more awake now and he looks worried.
“I don’t tell many people this so listen and then forget. This doesn’t leave here. Ok?” My heart is pounding in my chest when he agrees. “I was in foster care from twelve until I turned eighteen. It was awful and I was tossed around to more families than I can even remember. But there was one, right at the beginning, that I will never forget in El Monte. There was this little boy who helped me when I first got there. He was the best person I’d ever met. This is going to sound crazy but I swear to you, I think it was Chance.”
Harley shakes his head. “That can’t be possible. If he doesn’t have a family, who does he talk to once a week? Who are the people who have picked him up and taken him out to dinner? I’m sorry, Katrina, I just don’t see how it’s possible.”
“His name was Lenny. I don’t have answers to those things but maybe they’re a foster family he had later on. I need to know, Harley. He said something tonight and it was like I was twelve all over again. The words he used, the way he said it, it brought tears to my eyes.”
Harley puts his hand on my back and rubs slow circles against my shirt. I start to cry and he pulls me into him. “I’ll help you. I don’t know how but I will find out.”
“We had the same birthday. When’s his birthday?” I shiver as I wait for the answer.
“May something. June maybe? I don’t know. Like I said, Della handled all this stuff.”
I hug him goodnight. “Find out when his birthday is. That will tell us everything.”
I walk back to my room. Lorenzo will probably be asleep and I will feel awful. He flew all this way to see me and I’ve been emotionally unavailable the entire time. I know we don’t have a relationship but I’m seriously the worst friend with benefits ever.
He’s packing when I come in and my heart breaks. He gives me his award winning smile and motions for me to sit. He folds a final pair of jeans then zips the bag shut.
“You’re leaving? I’m so sorry.” I feel like the world’s worst friend.
“Bella, don’t apologize. I’m not angry, I’m excited for you. You’re my best friend. I want to see where things go with you two and they won’t go anywhere if I’m in your bed every night. I was leaving Monday anyway.”
“Enzo, please. I need you here with me.” Begging doesn’t look good on me.
“I did something in the elevator to get his reaction. And I was right, Kat. He watched me the whole time I held your hand. I know you say he’s heartless, among a million other things, but he isn’t. He absolutely reacted the way I thought he would. He wants you.”
“He wants everyone.” I roll my eyes, further proving his point. I hit his arm when he laughs. “In all seriousness, I need you to stay. I think he’s Lenny. I’m terrified.”
Lorenzo’s jaw drops and he sits on the end of the bed. “How is that possible?”
“I sound crazy. I know that. But when I first met him, it was like I knew him. And I’m so angry at him for absolutely no reason at all. Maybe it’s because part of me knows who he is and I’m afraid he’ll leave again so I have to push him away.”
“That’s a huge leap from that to him being Lenny, babe.”
“When I was in his room a few minutes ago, he said something. It was exactly the same thing he said to me our last night together. It wasn’t just déjà vu. It was like I heard his old voice and saw the kid he was. I went down to talk to Harley and he said he grew up in Maywood. That’s where they sent him when they sent him away. I know it doesn’t make sense but I can’t shake this feeling.”
Lorenzo lies down and pats his chest. I lay my head on him and close my eyes while he plays with my hair. “I’ll stay, Amore. This is going to be too good to miss. Ti voglio bene. Dormire.”
“I love you too. Goodnight, Enzo. Thank you for loving me like you do. You’re my best friend.”
Lorenzo wraps his arms around me and pulls me into a hug. It’s been a wonderful weekend but it’s time to say goodbye. Everything changed between us in just a few days. He’ll always be my best friend but our benefits are over. I know it’s for the best and it allows him to move on and find someone if he ever decides to settle down. He’ll start the next racing season and travel the world and I won’t be holding him back from living it to the fullest.
“My wish for you is that you finally find some peace. Whether Chance is who you think he is or not, I want to see you happy. Remember, Bella, he was a child, too. He didn’t leave you. Your parents did. And maybe it’s time you let that little boy off the hook.” Tears stream down my face and he wipes them away with his thumbs. “You tell me all the time that love doesn’t exist. But we’re proof it does.”
“When did you get so wise?” I sniff and pull him even closer. When I met Lorenzo, I was a broken shell of a person. I had to interview him for a celebrity spotlight and we spent the night in his bed. I knew right away that he wasn’t a one-night stand. We exchanged numbers and talked constantly. He let me into his family. I hadn’t had that in a really long time. We knew we’d never be more than friends but he satisfied a need in my life. It was a need for physical and emotional contact. He was the perfect person for that and I spent every day wondering what I had done to deserve a man like him by my side.
“On the bus you go. No more tears. When you’re done with this assignment, come to Rome. We can spend the week together, no strings, no expectations. You can help me settle in for the first race.” He kisses me on the cheek and turns to walk away.
The wave of loneliness hits me like a ton of bricks. Every time I say goodbye to him, or to Ray for that matter, I am overcome with sadness. I want to run after him but it’s time to take a deep breath, get on the bus, and head to the next show.
I take a seat right at the window and look out. Enzo is talking to Chance but he’s looking at me. I flatten my hand on the window and he makes the same gesture before blowing me a kiss and jogging away.
Chance looks at me before bending over and picking up something from the ground. Maybe I’m wrong about who he is. Maybe I’m not. But Lorenzo is right. Twenty years ago, the little boy who was my salvation was taken from me. He didn’t leave me. He didn’t choose to walk away like everyone else who ever loved me had done. It’s time I let go of the past.