Skip whistled while his computer booted up. He pulled out the reference book he’d taken down this morning, and looked through his computer bag for his notebook. His editor had called as soon as New York opened for business. He’d spotted Chad walking aimlessly in the yard, and decided he needed to shake the cobwebs before he could settle down to whip this manuscript into shape.

He could hear Chad moving around in the kitchen, the flat screen TV in the small den off the kitchen on a news channel. The sound of the talking heads would drive him crazy. He loathed entertainment news. Apparently so did Chad. He heard the man growl, and the channel changed to sports. It was the middle of the day on a Monday… no, Tuesday. When had it become Tuesday?

He pulled up his email first, and looked for the file his editor had sent him. The book was approved based on his very rough handwritten first draft and his notes. The deadline was fast approaching, and the trip to Ireland would cut off most of the time he’d have to do another pass. He had a tour scheduled for the book that would come out at the end of April, starting in Ireland, before moving to England, and back to the US. He didn’t do tours often, and wouldn’t have done this one, if his publisher wasn’t paying for it.

The last book had sat atop the bestseller list for nearly a year. Skip was now a bona fide superstar, and no one knew a thing about him. And Skip wanted to keep it that way. He liked his privacy, and the freedom to roam the world. He’d never thought one of his stories would cause such a fuss. The first three novels were going to be republished this summer for a new audience. It was all rather daunting in scope, and it was happening to him.

He yawned. He didn’t want to go to bed in the middle of the day. But damn, last night and this morning felt so good. He’d slept, and gotten so much done, and finished a long day with a run. Something smelled good. His stomach growled, and he yawned again.

He leafed through the folder with his notes, arranging them in order by chapter, while the scent of food played havoc with his stomach.

That pot roast had been nearly ten hours ago, and he hadn’t stopped to eat a thing since.

He checked the time. It wasn’t even noon yet, and he was pretty much done.

He fixed each set of notes to each hand-written chapter with a gator clip, and stacked everything up neatly. His stomach rolled over hard, and Skip gave up on getting anything else done today. He left the computer on, and went to the kitchen to find out what smelled so good.

The Marine had stripped down to his compression pants and dog tags. He stood at the gas stove in the middle of the kitchen, a look of concentration on his face. He hummed while he moved around the room, the TV silent now. He cracked pepper over a skillet, a glass of white wine in his hand. Skip would have taken him for a beer man. He picked up the bottle of wine with a shrug, before pouring some into the skillet. He threw in some heavy cream after, and finally looked up to find Skip watching the show.

“Hey,” he said, glancing up from the skillet. “Lunch is almost ready.”

“Smells delicious.” Skip didn’t add that he looked delicious. “You can cook?”

Chad shrugged again, and sipped his wine. “I took classes in high school. And a couple to fill my time between deployments. I like cooking. There’s something… I don’t know how to describe it.  It’s peaceful, I guess. I don’t have to think about anything but the food.” He poured a pot of what smelled like pasta into a colander, then added the pasta to the skillet, while Skip pulled up a bar stool, and grabbed the wine bottle. Chad reached for a glass, and handed it to him. “I hope you don’t mind. I was hungry. The pot roast breakfast was a long time ago.”

“No, I don’t mind. I don’t cook. I know how to heat things up. I’m surprised you found ingredients.” Skip peeked into the skillet to see what looked like chicken cutlets simmering with the pasta in cream sauce. “Looks good. I would have thrown those on the grill outside.”

“You’re out of charcoal,” Chad said with a smile and a wink. “I’ll get some, if I can borrow your Jeep later. I thought I’d drive down to town, and get out of your hair while you work.”

“Yeah, sure, not a problem. Use the Jeep whenever. Use anything here,” he said, draining the glass. Trying not to say the words that popped into his brain. In this case, he wanted to finish that last up with ‘including me’. Dear god, he wanted to be used by this man, hard, and fast, and sweaty. He’d forget he had a book to write and just spend the next month naked in bed if he could. “I have a weight room, and the office is not off-limits. I do have a laptop computer around here somewhere, if you want to check your email or something.”

Chad nodded without looking at him. He busied himself by taking up the cutlets and plating the pasta. He handed a plate to Skip, and set his on the bar across from Skip. He rinsed the wine from his glass and refilled it with water from the fridge door.

He didn’t sit to eat. He stood at the island shifting his weight from foot to foot. “I… thought…” he picked at the food nervously without looking at Skip.

“Just ask. It can’t be that bad.” He had no clue how to handle this… whatever the hell this was. The Marine was a guest, yes. One he was sexing, if not exactly sleeping with… yet. He had no term for what they were doing right now. Just some heavy grinding and naps. But it felt strangely like the kid asking the dad for permission to go out and be a kid. “I’m not your dad; you’re an adult. Just don’t smoke pot in the house.”

“I wasn’t going to.” Chad dropped his fork onto his plate with a little more anger than Skip anticipated. “And I’m not asking for permission to go buck wild in town. Just to borrow your car to get to town. I wouldn’t take someone’s personal transportation without their consent. And I don’t need a computer. I have phone access. I know I’m not your kid. And I don’t need a father. Stop trying to turn this into something perverted. And if that is what you think it is, maybe I should leave.”

“Then what is it?” God, he should have kept his damned mouth shut. He set his own fork down, and rubbed his hands over his eyes. He was tired. Really tired. The run this morning after a day of being sick had kicked his ass.

“I don’t know. I want to be with you. I want you to want to be with me. I thought maybe you understood. I don’t like boys. Most of the guys my age are immature assholes, and I don’t relate to them. I certainly never wanted to be with any of them. And I never wanted to just… slut around. I wanted it… to mean something.” Chad drained the water, and pushed the food around on his plate. His face a mixture of mottled red and white beneath his beard.

“Brian is twenty-seven,” Skip said, apropos of nothing. “I have a twenty-seven year-old son. You’re younger than my son, Chad. I feel like some dirty old man here. I don’t know what we’re doing. I like being with you. Not just for sex. Which, we haven’t actually gone far enough in that department… if you’re having second thoughts.”

“I was going to ask if I could have my mail routed here, if I’m staying… That’s all I was going to ask. I don’t want to just… move in. I don’t have anything else but what’s in those boxes. The last step to moving in with you is to change my address. It seems— presumptive.”

“Move in. Yes, if that’s what you want to do. Change your address. Live here. No one else lives here. I’m not here year-round. If you want to have a place to figure out your next step… then do that. Move in with me.” His heart was beating so fast he couldn’t think straight. There was a naked Marine in his bed when he woke up. He wanted to have a naked Marine to wake up next to tomorrow. Maybe next week. He picked up the wine and drained his glass. Then poured more and drained that. “Eat your lunch; it’s delicious.”

Chad quirked a shy smile at him, “Yessir.”

Skip pressed the cold bottle to his forehead and moaned. “You do that on purpose, don’t you?”

The smile wasn’t so shy now, as much as sly. “Part of it is habit. I’m still… I don’t know how to be a civilian anymore. You’re older. Sorry. It’s true. Can’t deny that. You’re sort of bossy. But yeah, I like to hear you moan. It’s kind of a turn on.”

Skip picked up his fork and pointed it at the man. Chad grinned, and after a moment he winked, blushing furiously. Skip put the fork down, and stepped around the island before Chad could duck away. Chad stood up straight to face him, his eyes gone carefully blank again. Skip reached out, and cupped his jaw with one hand, the other he skimmed along Chad’s arm from his elbow to his shoulder. He shivered, goosebumps forming as Skip touched him, and Skip stepped closer, closing the distance between them. “I like that I don’t have to duck, or look up to kiss you,” he said for no reason. “I like that you react to my touch. I like that you smell like sweat and pine right now. I love that you took care of me when I needed it. You fed me when I didn’t think to feed myself. You’re more of an adult than I am. And you scare me. So… yeah… live with me.”

Chad skimmed his hands along Skip’s back and pulled him closer. “I want to sleep with you. Make love to you. That’s all I want from you.” His voice broke as he spoke, barely above a whisper.

“We just met, Chad.” Skip wanted so much to say yes. “Four days ago. Just four days ago.”

“Tell me you don’t feel the same as I do,” he whispered this time, his eyes wide open, and filled with every emotion Skip was feeling.

Skip swallowed hard and nodded. He couldn’t deny that he was falling hard in lust right now. But… he’d been in love once. This didn’t feel like that. This felt… fragile. “I want you in my bed.”

Chad blinked rapidly and pulled away. He wouldn’t meet Skip’s eyes. “Okay. Good. Lunch is getting cold.”

Skip dropped his hands and returned to his seat. They didn’t speak much more than to make small talk about the area, and the food, and the weather. Considering the first night they’d slept together had been one of the worst storms Skip could remember, maybe the weather wasn’t exactly small talk. It was still very chilly this far north, but there shouldn’t be any more snow. At least, Skip hoped there wouldn’t be more snow. He usually planned his trips here to avoid the snow. He wasn’t fond of snow so much.

He helped Chad clean up the kitchen, and waited for Chad to make the next move. “I’m going up to shower, and change clothes,” Chad said when the last glass was put away. “Is there anything you want me to get from town while I’m there?”

Skip looked around at the stocked kitchen, and shook his head. He couldn’t think of anything that he hadn’t brought with him, or that Cat hadn’t supplied. Hell, they even had condoms. There wasn’t one damned thing he needed.

“No, I think we’re good. But feel free to pick up anything you think we need. Like charcoal.”

“Maybe some steaks to throw on the grill you have out there.” Chad grinned. “And green things. You don’t have any vegetables.” He laughed at the face Skip made. “Not a salad fan, I take it?”

“Not really, no. But…” he squeezed his eyes closed, wondering how his next words would come out, or how Chad would take them. “If you want to take over my kitchen, and maybe convince me about the vegetables… I wouldn’t mind.”

“I don’t mind.” Chad was still grinning when he looked again. “Don’t know why you had to close your eyes to say that.”

“Afraid you’d take it wrong,” Skip admitted. “Something like earning your keep while we fuck.”

“And that’s happened to you in the past, hasn’t it?” Chad had remarkable observation skills.

“Yeah, and before we go thinking I’m a sexist pig, it wasn’t my arrangement. It was just something that happened. I paid the bills, and well, it’s nothing to worry about. It was a long time ago.” Skip hated thinking about the times in his life that a pretty face had damn near been the death of him.

“She wanted a ring and California is a community property state.” Chad hit the nail on the head first time.

“It was a he, but yeah, same thing. Strangely, I can’t think of one single girlfriend who’d tried to get into my bank account through my kitchen.” And he winced again. “That’s what I mean about taking things wrong. I don’t think that’s what you’re doing.”

“The one-million-dollar life insurance policy,” Chad said his grin gone again. “Can I ask how you know about it?”

Skip went to the fridge, and pulled out a beer. If they were settling down for a business meeting, then he needed something to wet his suddenly dry throat. He popped the top, and drank half while looking for the courage to carry on with this conversation. “Colt bought the policy when you were born. Your mother was the beneficiary. He changed it to your name when they separated. And that pissed her off. She took him to court to have the policy put back in her name. The courts ruled in your dad’s favor. But you probably know most of that.” Chad shook his head, his face going pale. “Colt made me the executor of his will in case something happened to him before you were eighteen. I was supposed to make sure everything went to you and not her. After your eighteenth birthday, he took me off, and made sure you were next of kin. She couldn’t touch the policy, or anything he’d left. It’s old news. And painful. He wouldn’t have canceled the policy, so… yeah, I know. I can offer advice on how to invest it. But that’s all I have to say about it.”

Chad stood there with his arms crossed over his chest, looking completely demolished. “She tried to kill him. Did you know that? I remember it. I was ten. She took a knife from the kitchen and tried to kill him. She beat him. I…” He wiped his face, but there were no tears to wipe away. He wouldn’t look at Skip. “I didn’t understand why he took it, you know. She had a terrible temper, and she threw things at him, and punched him. All the time. And he never said anything, and he never called the police after the knife incident. But that’s why he left. He tried to take me. And then he was gone, and I didn’t see him again until I left the Corps.”

Skip shivered, hard and fast, and painful… as if a rabbit crossed his grave. “I didn’t know. No. He never said a word.”

Chad stood up straight, and laid the dish towel on the counter. His eyes glassy. “She started on me at the end. I didn’t know how to escape her. That’s why I went into the Marines. Seemed like a good idea at the time. If you’ll excuse me, I’m going to shower now.”

Skip watched him leave. He didn’t follow. He went to his office, and sat behind his computer only to stare at the screen saver until his eyes blurred. How had he not known? He thought back to the week Colt had brought Chad up to Cliffside, and she’d followed. He’d known something was off that week. He just didn’t know Jillian all that well. But he knew Colt, and Colt wasn’t right. He was never an overly demonstrative person. Very much an introvert, as well as shy, Colt only opened up to people he loved. And that week had been fine, until she showed up. Then father and son had both changed. Colt seemed to stay in his room more, and the boy had sought out Skip… to escape a tense family situation? He could only speculate, but he should have known.

“Hey,” Chad said, and Skip jumped. He had no idea how long he’d been staring at the screen. Which was blank now. “I’m… ah… what’s the address up here?”

Skip opened his desk drawer, and took out a notepad to scribble down his address. He looked up to find Chad leaning over him. He had a touch of fear in his eyes when he kissed Skip. “I… Do you remember how to get to town?” He asked stupidly, when Chad pulled away.

“Yessir,” the Marine said, not looking much like a Marine now. “I’ll be back in a couple of hours.” He took the note, and slipped it into his pocket as he put his hat onto his head. “Are you sure, you don’t need anything?”

“I’m sure. I have so much work to do here. I’ll see you when you get back. Maybe watch a movie or something.” He was nervous now, and he didn’t know why. “Keys…” he looked around the office, wondering what he’d done with the spare set he kept here. “I have extra keys.”

He pulled out the bottom drawer, and opened the fireproof box, and found the set he’d made for Brian a long time ago. “Here. Keep them. If you’re going to live here… I mean. Yeah. Okay. So. I’m rambling.”

Chad smiled, and leaned back over. “You’re adorable when you ramble.” He kissed Skip again, skimming his fingers over Skip’s cheek just before their lips parted. His breath catching as the kiss lingered.

“Go… now,” Skip said, his own breath not exactly unaffected. “Go or we’re going to have to go upstairs. Go… oh god. Go, before I beg you to stay, and fuck me right here.”

Chad moaned his eyes rolling, as he reached for the desk to steady himself. “I can go tomorrow.”

Skip wanted him to stay. He forced himself to look away. He brought his computer up again, and pulled up the file he needed to start. Then, he cleared his throat. “Go… I have work to do.” He hated every word that came out of his mouth. “Just…” He sighed and squeezed his eyes closed, trying to calm the rush of need, and want, and crazy that assailed him. “I’ll be here when you get back.”

Chad held the keys tight in his hand. He nodded, and turning on his heel, he walked away, as if Skip had dismissed him. His shoulders ramrod straight and his head held high, he looked every bit the pissed off Marine he probably was.

The front door slammed, and a couple of minutes later, Skip heard his Jeep engine rev. He was alone in his fortress of solitude. The peace and quiet of the place nearly overwhelming him.

He pulled out the first chapter and tried to decipher his notes, but the ticking of the clock distracted him. He yawned. The words blurring with each tick and tock. The good food and wine caught up with him, and he shut down his office, and dragged himself upstairs to his bedroom. He stripped down to his skin and crawled into bed. He didn’t give a shit that the sun was still up, or that his blinds were open. He couldn’t keep his eyes open another minute. He pulled the pillow that smelled like Chad against his chest, wishing it was the real thing. Wishing he’d asked him not to go. Wishing that he didn’t know everything he knew now. He couldn’t keep him. So why did he desperately want to do just that?