We managed to work our way up to the top of the bed, like normal people. We cuddled under the covers, wrapped up in each other as though it was something we’d done for years together. That was the thing about Zayne. He just struck me. He just got me. There was a connection that was seriously terrifying. Because it was so real. I wanted to rest my head on his chest but I couldn’t stop looking up at him.

It wasn’t even nine in the morning yet, and my body felt like it had done a day’s work, and then some.

“Okay, darlin’,” he said. “What the hell is going on here?”

“I already told you I would go to the wedding with you.”

“Right. The wedding. The thing that put us over the edge the first time.”

“No. You lied to me about my car.”

“I know I did. I’m sorry I did that. I didn’t want you to go. It was really stupid of me to do that, considering everything you went through. To be fair, I didn’t know any of that when I first told the lie.”

“But you still lied.”

“Because I could sense something in you, Bella. And in me. I’d never talked with anyone like I could with you.”

“I’m sure all your hookups love to hear about your fiancée ruining your life,” I said with a grin.

“Look, full disclosure here,” he said. “After you left…I didn’t like being alone. I was mad at myself, darlin’. I was mad you left. So I…”

“In this bed?” I asked.

“No. No fucking way.”

“Okay,” I said. “I don’t really care, Zayne. I don’t know why I don’t care, either. I think I’ve finally gotten to the last piece of hope here.”

“Don’t say that, Bella.”

“I slept with Parker,” I blurted out.

Zayne’s face dropped. His nostrils flared and his lip curled for a second. But then he nodded. “Makes sense.”

“What does that mean?”

“No different from me. It’s a comfort thing. That’s what you’re used to. It’s not easy to accept it and move on.”

I stared at him for a few long moments. “What the hell am I doing here, Zayne?” I asked. “I almost slept with you. I took off. I slept with Parker. Then I come here, and we’re in bed.”

“It’s all a fucking mess,” Zayne said. “But I like this mess. I like holding you right now.”

“Shit. They were having a long affair.”

“What?”

“Why I’m here, Zayne.” I swallowed hard. “I’m going to that wedding with you. I want you to get what you need out of it. No matter what it is. I promise, I won’t stand in your way.”

“You’re losing me here. You’re talking about two things at once.”

I rolled away from him. Touching him left my mind all scrambled. I wanted more of him. So much more.

I grabbed the bottom sheet and pulled it to my chest and sat up. I stared forward. I couldn’t look at Zayne right then. It felt so good to be with him after what happened…but a part of me felt dirty because of how confused and messy everything had gotten.

“I went back,” I said. “Like you said I would.”

“Hey, we all would,” Zayne said. “You don’t think I went through that shit with Steph?”

I looked at Zayne. “Is this what we’re doing? Fucking each other and then talking about exes while we’re still naked?”

“I guess so, darlin’.”

“It was so hard to be there, Zayne. I tried. I met with Abby. She cried. She cried so hard. But I can’t look past it. Even when she hugged me, I pictured all those body parts of hers against Parker. Their bare skin touching…” I took a deep breath. “I got drunk. He came home from work. We drank. We argued. We talked. I think we even laughed once or twice. And then it happened. It was a comfort thing, yeah, but it was something else. I wanted to…I wanted to screw him to forget her. So stupid.”

“No, it’s not,” Zayne said. “Our hearts aren’t wired to be so easy, Bella. Shit happens. Things twist us up. Do you realize I paid Gonzo to pretend your car was broken down so I could talk to you and give you an engagement ring to make my ex jealous? I should be locked away for that.”

“Yeah, you should be,” I teased with a grin.

“Thanks.”

“After it happened, I felt…nothing. I felt nothing during it, either. I was just there. I think, if anything, it just proved how far apart we were before all this shit happened. But he was having a long affair with her, Zayne.”

“How do you know?”

I lowered my gaze. “After he was done with me, he thought I was asleep. He snuck out of bed and called her. He called Abby. I heard him on the phone. At first, I thought he was just being there for us. But then he made it very clear…he’s in love with her.”

“Oh, shit,” Zayne said.

“And it’s been happening for a long time. The only regret Parker has was being dumb enough to sleep with her in the apartment and getting caught. It had nothing to do with me.”

“Damn, Bella. I’m sorry.”

“Me too,” I said. I looked at him, my eyes tearing up. “They both cried, Zayne. I would have rather just walk in and find them together on the couch. You know? But instead, they both cried. They were both so sorry.”

“Fuck them.”

“No,” I said. I touched his hand. I turned his hand around and interlocked my fingers into his. “They were sorry. They were crying because of how messy it all was. I just didn’t have the actual truth. Zayne, is there something wrong with me?”

“Look at me, Bella,” he said. He touched my chin and shook his head. “There is nothing wrong with you. Nobody has the right to do that. Not to you. Not to anyone. I don’t care if they love each other. You don’t fucking do that. You don’t fuck with someone’s heart. You don’t fucking screw everything up.”

I swallowed hard. “Okay. Can I tell you what I want from you now?”

“I thought you got what you wanted,” Zayne said with a sly grin.

“Oh, that was just the start. But seriously…I’ll go to the wedding. But I need you to do something for me.”

“Name it,” he said.

I smiled. Tears in my eyes. “Pretend you love me in front of Parker…so I can crush his stupid heart.”

* * *

I couldn’t find my shirt or my pants. I searched the entire bedroom, then walked toward the kitchen wearing only bra and panties. It was odd how comfortable I felt in the apartment and with Zayne.

He stood in kitchen with a cup of coffee in his hand, grinning. “I like the outfit.”

“Shut up.”

I saw my pants on the kitchen floor where I had stepped out of them. I hurried to put them on, but there was no sign of my shirt.

“Where’s my shirt?” I asked.

Zayne turned his head and motioned for the counter.

I blushed.

That’s right…

I was so damn tired, but there was no use trying to sleep now.

“Breakfast?” he asked as I grabbed for my shirt.

“Sure,” I said.

“Good. I’m starving.”

“Do you have work today?”

“No,” he said. “I’m not allowed to go to St. Skin for a little bit.”

“What? Why?”

Zayne smiled. “Tate thinks I work too hard.”

“Wow. I need a boss like that.”

“Too bad you can’t draw a straight line, huh?”

“Oh, so funny,” I said.

“Ready to get some food?”

“Definitely,” I said.

I started to walk and Zayne threw his hand out and touched my stomach. I shuddered and felt like a million butterflies all decided to fly at once in through my belly and up to my chest.

“I’m really sorry for everything, Bella. For me playing games with you. If I knew everything before I did that, I wouldn’t have lied. I’m not a liar. I want you to know that. I don’t know what exactly is happening right now, but I know this. I didn’t like you not being here. There’s something about you that feels real. I’m not going to that wedding to screw her, okay? I have no intentions of it. I want her to worry a little. That’s all. I want to show her that I can be happy without her. Because if I don’t, she’s going to keep throwing those darts my way. And sad as it is, darlin’, I’m going to let her. I would stand there as a target. Like an idiot.”

I felt like he was speaking what was in my heart.

I touched his face. “Yes, you are an idiot. And that’s okay with me, Zayne. I’m an idiot too. I feel like a whore right now. I feel dirty.”

“If you’re dirty, darlin’, then you’re dirty-beautiful. And I like it.”

I laughed. “I never thought all of this would happen.”

“But it did.”

“Zayne, I’m really hungry.”

“Me too. I just want to say that.”

I moved to my toes and kissed his cheek.

As I stepped away, Zayne smacked my ass.

I didn’t say a word.

I told myself that was his version of giving me a kiss on the cheek.