THEO

 

Beautiful. Lovely. I fucking hated that she wasn’t mine.

I wanted to kiss her and feel her beneath my fingertips.

Her being with Dex really did a number on my head. I slammed my fist against the steering wheel as I drove toward Blair’s house.

As soon as I pulled up, I saw Blair and Lucy playing in the yard. I took a deep breath as I watched Lucy run around chasing after a ball. She looked like she had grown over night, and I couldn’t wait to get her into my arms.

“Hey, Boo Bear,” I said as she raced toward me.

“Daddy, play catch with me.” She wiggled free from my arms and went chasing after the red ball again.

“Hey, Theo,” Blair called out, as she walked over to greet me.

“Hey. How are you?”

She smiled. “I’m good.”

Happy to see my favorite girl, I went over and retrieved the ball Lucy threw in my direction. This time with Lucy was exactly what I needed to forget.

On the way to my condo, Lucy and I stopped to pick up a few essentials we needed. Oreos and milk. I hated milk but Lucy loved to dunk her Oreos in it. Once lunch was done and cleared away, I sat on the floor and picked up a half-dressed Barbie doll with wild blonde hair. Lucy squealed with delight when she saw me playing with her. Easy, just prance the doll around and pretend to laugh. Penny would love this. I smiled to myself thinking of her calling my action figures dolls. Fuck. I couldn't even play with a Barbie doll without picturing Penny laughing and stretched out on the floor with us. I wanted that. After an hour of Barbie getting ready to marry Ken, and me trying to talk her out of it and marry my surfer doll instead, I decided to take Lucy down to the ocean to play in the sand.

The afternoon held a slight breeze as we walked along the shore to find a perfect spot to build sandcastles.

I held her tiny fingers in one hand and a bag of sand toys in the other.

Once we were situated, we spent the remainder of the day digging tunnels and letting the ocean fill them in. It reminded me of the day Penny joined us. Everything reminded me of her lately. The way Penny played with Lucy that day did crazy things to my chest. And I was an asshole because I didn't know how to deal with it.

After the sun set, we trekked home and I whipped up her favorite dinner of noodles and butter.

“Why don't you want Barbie to marry Ken?” she asked.

“He’s not cool like my surfer doll.” I winked at her. “Ken is boring and has weird hair, and Barbie doesn't need to get married anyways.”

She giggled. “Well no one is as cool as you. Maybe she’ll be a warrior princess instead next time.”

I smiled. That's my girl.

After dinner, I reluctantly packed her up to return her to her mother’s.

Needing a drink, I decided to hit a small local dive bar after I dropped her off. South Beach clubs held no interest for me anymore and only brought back painful memories of Penny.

Stepping inside the Frosted Mug, I glanced around. A hip beat infiltrated through the speakers. The place was low-key, just a few tables and a bar, no dance floor, no games of any kind. Perfect.

I stepped up to the bar, leaning my elbow on the scarred oak wood to gain the bartender’s attention. “Macallan neat,” I said once he walked over.

After the shot was poured, I glanced around taking in the scenery. The place was virtually empty. I downed the shot, and suddenly my body buzzed with endorphins. There she sat. At the complete opposite end of the bar, Penny, she hadn’t noticed me yet. She was zoned out, the little black straw in her left hand making lazy circles in her pink drink. Her dark navy blouse clung tightly to her curves I knew all too well. Why did she have to be so beautiful? It's really fucking difficult to get over someone when your cock twitches every time you see them. There would be no getting over her. Even the way her hair shone under the lights made me hard.

As if she could sense me, or as if some magic force were at play, her sweet, russet eyes lifted to meet mine.

She pointed a finger at me. “You,” she shouted.

I glanced over my shoulder unsure if she meant me. “Penny?”

She turned her finger, hooking it back to signal me to come to her. I obliged.

“You,” she whispered as I stood close. Too close. Close enough to smell her delicious scent. I missed her smell. Overwhelmed by the sight of her, I didn’t say anything and she started in again. “You asshole,” she stuttered, alcohol on her breath.

“Excuse me? Are you drunk?” I reached my hand out and slid her drink away.

“Heyyy, that’s mine.” Great, inebriated. More so than I’d ever seen her.

“Let me get you home.” I called the bartender over and paid her tab.

“I don’t need you to do anything,” she protested, pushing me away as she stumbled from the stool.

With one fleeting glance to the bartender, I smirked and helped her steady herself. “Let me help you.”

“Why?” she spat out. “You hate me. All I ever did was try to help you, Mr. Sullivan. And now look at this mess I’m in.” She waved her hand in front of her face, in turn losing her balance. I caught her in my arms before she went down.

“Penny, please, let me help you. You can’t even walk out of here.”

Her hand landed on my chest and she inched her fingers upward. My heart sped up at her touch. I made the mistake of looking down to meet her eyes. All brown and once all mine.

“Theo, I’m sorry,” she breathed.

With her apology, all of the emotions and hurt came rushing back to me like a tidal wave. The pain I felt when I saw her with Dex intensified. Hatred took over as I looked down to her.

“It’s too late,” I said, defeated.

I reached my arm under her legs and picked her up. Sorrow filled me when she rested her head on my shoulder. Smiling once more to the bartender, I left the bar and hurried to my car.

“Theo?” Penny’s voice spoke so softly; I almost didn’t hear her.

“Yeah,” I said as I helped her into the front seat of my Audi.

“Please don’t take me home.”

I leaned my head into the door, arm resting on the car frame. “I have to.”

A war battled in my mind. I wanted nothing more than to take her to my home, to my bed. Reclaim her as mine. But, she was engaged.

“Ok, but can we go anywhere else first?” Her pained voice pulled at the few heartstrings still attached.

I hopped in the car, racing through the streets, taking her to the one place I felt most at home—the beach.

My mind over thought every scenario of what would happen when we reached it. I knew what I wanted to happen, but my mind couldn’t erase past events.

When I pulled up to the dimly lit parking area, I glanced over to Penny as she gazed out the window.

“Are you ok?” I asked.

She sighed before answering. “Yeah, I’m ok. Thank you for bringing me here.”

She opened the car door, hopped out, and ran to the shoreline. She ran until waves crashed at her knees. The moon hung low in the sky, giving the illusion of a magical moment. It was anything but.

Memories flooded me of the night we met. I wanted to hold her again, touch her, taste her, feel her body shaking beneath mine.

Following her into the water, I wrapped my arm around her waist. “Let’s get you home.”

She gazed up at me, her eyes the color of my dreams, and I tugged her body closer.

“Theo, please don’t let me go.” Her arms flew around my neck, and our lips were inches apart.

“Don’t, Penny,” I breathed against her mouth. “You’re engaged to my brother.”

“Don’t remind me,” she whispered over the crashing waves.

“Why him?” I asked.

She pushed away from me and ran along the sandy beach. Of course, I chased after her. I would always chase her, even if she wasn’t available.

“Penny, talk to me,” I yelled as she kept running.

She stopped abruptly and spun around and almost lost her footing due to the alcohol coursing through her. “Well if I could feel my lips, I would.” She reached up and massaged her lips with her fingers. “Why do you have to be so perfect?”

I shook my head. “I’m definitely not perfect.” She was, though, even drunk.

“Excuse me, I need to make a call,” she slurred.

I laughed. God, she was making no sense in drunk mode. “What?”

“Where’s my phone?” she asked, looking down at the sand. “Oh, here it is.” She leaned down and picked up a large seashell and held it to her ear.

I couldn’t help but laugh. “Penny, what are you doing?”

She held up a finger and shushed me. “Shh. I’m on the phone.” She put her other finger up to her ear as if she were blocking out the noise of the ocean. “Oh, hi, can you bring me a piece of paper and a pen so Theo here can make a sign that says he’s not perfect,” I shook my head. She would never let me forget that sign. It was fucking common sense. “Yeah, it needs to be huge. Gigantic. Enormous. Bigger than Theo’s cock.” She winked at me. And then she went straight to crying drunk. “Because he is perfect, and I don’t want anyone else to know.”

Ah, fuck. Tears streamed down her cheeks and she hiccuped. “Give me the phone, Penny.” Yeah, I held out my hand for the seashell phone.

“K, thanks, bye.” She tossed the seashell into the ocean. “I don’t want anyone else to have you,” she sobbed.

Shocked at her confession, I closed the distance between us. “No one else has me.”

She scrunched her nose and crossed her arms. “Well they will. I hate you,” she slurred.

“No, you don’t.” I spoke softer, with more confidence than I felt in a long time. I was used to the over exaggeration of ‘I love yous’ from drunken confessions, but not the opposite.

“I do. I hate the way you always think you’re right.”

She placed her hand on my chest, and my breathing kicked up. “I’m right about this. You don’t hate me,” I said.

She shook her head, and I wrapped an arm around her, pulling her into me. “Admit it,” I whispered close to her ear.

“I hate you,” she whispered back.

My fingers traced along the back of her neck, thumbing over the tattoo I missed. “No you don’t. You just called someone on a seashell about me. You told them you want me.”

She wiggled, trying to break free from my hold. “No. I want him.”

“Liar. You want me.”

Tears filled her eyes. “Theo, you don’t understand.”

“Make me understand.” I rocked into her body, squeezing her neck gently with my fingers.

“I can’t.”

“Penny, please.” My lips roamed over the soft skin of her cheek, down to her jawline. I nipped at her neck as I held on tighter. “Tell me, you want me.”

“I don’t,” she breathed. The waves crashed at our feet, the salty spray misting around us.

“Tell me why.”

She leaned back, her doe eyes searching mine as she exhaled slowly. She broke away from me and went to sit along the shore. I sat down next to her, waiting for her to speak.

We sat in silence, watching the tide roll in and out, before she finally faced me. “I don’t love him.”

I fucking knew it. I wanted to fist bump the air, but tried to play it cool. My whole world turned brighter, and my chest tightened. “Why marry him?”

She brought her hands together, twisting them. “It’s all so complicated.”

I grabbed her cheek with one hand and brought her lips to mine. “Uncomplicate it for me,” I said right before I kissed her.

My head spun as I deepened the kiss, praying this wasn’t a dream.

She broke the kiss. A single tear slid down her cheek. I swiped it away with the pad of my thumb and kissed her lightly again. “Speak, woman. Stop being so cryptic,” I demanded.

“I can’t. You’ll lose everything.” A few more tears fell as I kissed her forehead.

“I’ve already lost you, what else is there?”

“The Lopa.”

I dropped my hands from her face and cursed under my breath. “I don’t care about that.”

“But it’s your dream.”

“Penny, dreams change. You wake up in the morning and your life changes, and when you lay your head back down at night, you have all new dreams. You’re my dream.”

“You just don’t get it.”

“I’m trying. Start from the beginning.”

She rubbed her hands together, trying to dispense some of the sand from her fingers.

“I knew you were in trouble with the Lopa. So, I decided to help.”

“Ok.”

“I made a deal with my father. But, I’ve been sworn not to tell, Theo. I can’t tell you.”

“Penny, you can tell me anything.”

She bit her lip, digging her toes in the sand, before finally giving me something. “I asked to manage Lopa.”

“You asked?”

“Yes, when my father came at me with his deal, I begged him to let me manage the Lopa so I could still see you.”

“What deal?”

“To help you with the Lopa. He would buy it to bail you out. I asked for his help.”

“So, you asked to manage it? Why?”

“Because I didn’t want to be apart from you.”

I wrapped an arm around her shoulders and squeezed tight. “I don’t want to be apart from you either.”

“It’s all so complicated.”

“So the deal was he buys the Lopa, let’s me own half, and you manage?”

“Yes.”

“And Dex?” I egged her on.

She exhaled slowly and turned to me. “My father says if I don’t abide to his terms, he’ll take the Lopa from you. If I don’t marry Dex, well, he’ll bankrupt you.” Her gaze wouldn’t meet mine as she ran her fingers in the sand.

I rose from the sand, dusting off my pants in the process. I couldn’t lose her to keep the Lopa. “Fuck, Penny. I don’t care about it. Let him have the crummy place. Let him take it. All I want is you.”

“Please, Theo, you can’t mean that.” She grabbed my hand. “Maybe you don’t care about the Lopa, but I do.”

The sadness on her face made my heart almost stop.

“Come here,” I whispered.

She hesitated, briefly, then ran into my waiting arms.

“Make this nightmare end, please,” she cried.

“Shh, shh,” I soothed her. “We’ll think of something.”

And now, I had to think of something to fix this. Something big.