PENNY

 

His lips were softer than I remembered.

The longer strands of his hair brushed my forehead as heat traveled up my spine and across my chest. I grasped onto his shirt, clinging onto him. This is how a woman should be kissed. With passion and hunger and hands threading in her hair to grip it. I gave every bit back to him. Our tongues got reacquainted, and his dick pressed against my stomach as he leaned closer.

Please don’t stop.

He moved me back with one step, and my ass landed on the desk. With no hesitation, I spread my legs to allow him to step between them.

He broke the kiss, his lust filled eyes searching mine. “Penny, show me.”

I wanted more than anything to give into his every filthy command, but, instead, I pushed him back. My hands splayed on his chest, the ring on my finger a reminder.

“Show me, please,” he begged.

God, I wanted to give in. This was torture. But, if I gave in, there would be a price to pay. One Theo could never afford.

He glanced down and took my left hand in his, staring intently at the ring perched on my trembling finger.

“Theo.”

“Fuck, I’m sorry.” He took two steps back, readjusting himself, as his other hand skated through his long, tousled hair.

“Theo, wait.” I jumped off the wood desk and sprang forward, needing to give him something. Anything that would make me feel less vile. “Please, listen to me. I didn’t know he was your brother. I didn’t know any of it.”

“I thought we were starting something. I thought you liked me.” He clasped his hands behind his neck, then dropped them. “What happened? He showed up and offered you a better lifestyle?”

Tears blurred my vision. It hurt he thought I would be so shallow. How could I blame him, though? I shook my head. “No, nothing like that.” Silence stretched between us. He looked so vulnerable standing there. Maybe I should tell him, and we could figure something out together? No, the risk was too great. I raised my head, my eyes going blank, and pictured Dex in front of me. It was the only way to mask the emotions. “I love Dex, and we’re getting married.” If he believed me, I deserved an Academy Award. My stone cold expression was held tight by a thin veil of hope I was doing the right thing.

“Why him?” He slammed a hand against the wall closest to him, and my dream came back to me. He would never love me now. I needed to hold onto this truth and force him away to save him.

“Because, I love him.” I clung to the keys in my hand, the turtle keychain pressing into my skin as I brushed past him.

“I don’t fucking believe you,” he yelled when I reached halfway down the hall. “Get the interviews scheduled so I can get the fuck out of here.”

 

*** 

 

The next day when I arrived at the bar, Theo had already scheduled interviews.

I let him know that morning, when he texted me to come in early, I didn’t care for any of the applicants. But, he overruled my decision, stating he didn’t want to be here longer than need be. He remained adamant on hiring new bartenders immediately.

Livid couldn't begin to describe me when I walked through the front doors of Lopa and saw the dozen or so applicants lined along the bar. Actually, panic, might have been a better description. I wasn't ready to let him go.

Theo, holding his precious damn clipboard in his hand, nodded his head toward me. I stalked over to him.

“None of these people are qualified,” I whisper-yelled to him. They were but they weren't qualified to take Theo’s place.

He brushed off my dismissal of them. “Yeah, well, anyone who gets engaged to Dex isn't exactly the best judge of people.”

He had a point, I guess. “Who’s first?” I snapped. No way would I be hiring any of these candidates, but I’d let him believe he ran the show.

“Follow me,” he said, leading me to his makeshift interview area. A small table, with three chairs seated around it, had been set up near the back deck. He called over a Tracey Landmer, and I took a seat and watched a bubbly, short red head bounce her way over to the table. I hated her already.

Theo appeared impressed, judging by the wide grin on his face. Probably because of the fake tits she proudly displayed behind her sheer blouse.

She took a hot minute to sit down before ever so slowly crossing her legs, all the while keeping her eyes trained on Theo. So unprofessional.

“So, Tracey is it? Tell me a bit about yourself,” I said, interrupting her in the middle of her little tease show. I picked up a pen, tapping it on the table.

She inhaled and then smiled. “Well, I’m from Florida, near Orlando. I was a cheerleader. I moved here after school.” A cheerleader? Who cares? Theo smiled, like he actually hung on her every word. Was I the only one listening?

“Cheerleaders are great,” he smirked.

I gave him a tight smile. “Yes, but we aren’t kicking home runs. We’re serving alcohol.”

Theo laughed. “Field goals.” He looked back at Tracey. “Go on, please. She's clearly not a sports fan like you and I are.”

“Well, I’ve worked in the restaurant industry for about seven years, and I love to bartend.”

She smiled, toothy and confident, after she finished. I wasn’t impressed.

“Ok, that's great, Tracey. Why do you want to work here at Lopa?” Theo asked.

She laughed, tossing her red hair over her shoulder. I rolled my eyes. Her giggly laugh irked me, and I wanted this to be over. “Well, besides being able to work at one of the hottest spots on the strip? I actually think this is a great environment with an owner that’s nice to look at.”

She winked at him. My jaw nearly hit the table. What the actual fuck?

Theo made an annoying chuckle-laugh, and I wanted to strangle him. He couldn’t seriously be considering her. I went from tapping the pen to clicking it. Click. Click. Click.

Theo’s hand wrapped around mine. “Do you mind?” He removed his hand, and I clicked one more time. His teeth sunk into his lower lip and his brows lowered. Mine rose. Click. He turned slowly back to Tracey. “Why thank you. Tell me what your definition of being a team player is?”

“Well, wait a minute,” I interrupted. “How do you know Tracey didn't mean me? You're so vain.” I looked at Tracey and thumbed behind me. “We keep that big mirror behind the bar just for him.” Theo stared at me, and I lifted a brow. Tracey’s eyes bounced between us.

“Please continue,” he said, turning back to her.

These questions were stupid, and her answer probably involved dry humping Theo in the kitchen. I crossed my arms and narrowed my eyes as she cleared her throat.

“I’m a great team player. Cheerleading is more than just splits and jumping in the air. It’s about the team. I always go above and beyond helping others.”

Theo smiled and slid his eyes to me. I huffed. She didn’t even answer the damn question.

“Thank you, Tracey. We’ll be in touch,” I said in a firm tone. “Could you ask Sonja Roberts to come back on your way out, please?”

She shook our hands and said her goodbyes. As soon as she walked out of earshot, I glared to Theo.

“Really?” I asked, leaning in closer to peek at her file.

“What?” he laughed. “She had some great assets.” He held his hands to his chest in a way to let me know he was talking about her breasts.

I slapped his arm as my face heated. “She’s going in the no pile.”

He tugged at his eyebrow as he studied me. Goosebumps traveled all over my skin as he continued to watch me. Amusement lit his eyes, and I didn’t find this funny.

Sonja sauntered over and took a seat. She looked a bit more professional with her dark hair slicked back in a bun and charcoal business suit.

“Hello, I’m Sonja Roberts,” she said in a Romanian accent, crossing her long slender legs. 

I warmed to her, loving the professional attire. If I actually planned to hire someone, maybe I would consider her.

“Sonja, nice to meet you. Please tell us about yourself,” Theo said, as he relaxed in his chair. 

“I take everything in life with ease,” she began. “I enjoy the simple things in life and love to work to have a little fun. I’m in this country for a year and looking to work hard.”

“I can respect that,” I said. “Tell me about your previous work experience.”

“Back home I worked as a barmaid. I came to this country with hopes of a better future and am looking for an American man to marry.” Her dark eyes landed on Theo, sweeping over his features. He twisted in his seat and smirked at me. Was she asking Theo to marry her, right here? I wanted her to go, now.

“We have a strict no fraternization policy at the Lopa,” I clipped out. “And Theo here is spoken for already.”

“No, I'm not,” he said. “Penny is, though. To my brother.”

“That's nice,” she said. “You'll be relatives.” Theo stiffened beside me, and I cringed at the thought of being Theo’s relative. Family get togethers, holidays, and vacations all flitted through my mind—Theo happy with someone like Tracey, dazzling him with backbends and pom-poms. In each vision, I sat across the table and envied their happiness, wishing it could have been me.

I cleared my throat. “Well, thank you, Sonja,” I said. “We’ll be in touch. Please call over Gina Holden.”

Sonja shot up from her seat and shook hands with only Theo as her eyes raked him up and down.

She left the table and I let out a tiny sigh. “Definitely a no.”

“What?” He glanced up at me from his clipboard. “She should be a maybe. I think she’d be a hard worker.”

“Um, no.”

The next interview went the same as the first—Gina flirted, Theo laughed, and I fumed.

I ended it before he could even ask the second question.

After two more interviews, Theo shifted in his seat and faced me.

“Can you please like one of these girls, please?” he asked with a light in his eyes I desperately wanted to explore and find out where it originated from.

“What? I just think no one is the right fit.” I glanced at his clipboard as he turned it away from me. “What are you writing on there?” I asked.

“None of your business,” he shot back.

“It kind of is. I manage Lopa, and if it’s about this company then I need to know.” Why did he always piss me off? I didn’t want to interview anyone anymore. I wanted to go home. He acted ridiculous. Why wouldn’t he let me see what he wrote?

The next applicant was male, thank god, and I breathed a sigh of relief. Brandon Masters. Tall, tanned, and tattooed. Killer smile. He sat, and I didn’t know how he fit in his small chair with all the lean muscles bulging from every spot. He definitely would attract customers. If you were into disheveled just on the side of sexy. Ok, I’ll admit it, he was gorgeous.

Theo stood, jutting out his hand to shake Brandon’s. “Thank you for stopping by, but I’m sorry the position has already been filled.”

Brandon, dumbfounded and confused, said his goodbyes, shook Theo’s hand, and left.

I turned in my chair to face Theo. “Why? He would have been a good fit here. Why didn’t we even ask him a question?”

“I didn’t like him,” he said in his serious tone.

“But, maybe he’s the one,” I pressed.

Theo leaned closer to my ear, brushing stray strands of hair from my face with his nose. His low, raspy voice spoke softly in my ear, “He isn’t the one. You’re engaged, remember? Calm yourself.”

I pushed away from him. “I didn’t mean like that. God, what is wrong with you?”

“Wrong with me? What’s wrong with you?”

I needed some air. Space from him and his desire to get away from the Lopa. And me. I rose from the table and headed to the back deck. My emotions were overwhelming me: angry, confused, upset, and heartbroken. A tear escaped, and I swiped it away when I heard steps behind me.

“Hire whoever the fuck you want.” He stood right behind me, and I could almost hear his heart beating in sync with mine. “I’m going home.”

“Ok,” I whispered.

“I’m serious, Penny.” I turned to face him. “Make sure you hire someone. I don’t want to be here anymore it’s just too hard.”

“I thought things haven’t been hard in a long time.”

“I wasn’t talking about my dick.”

My heart saddened when I saw the hurt in his eyes. I nodded my head as he abruptly turned and left.

I walked back over to the stack of resumes, collected them, and tossed them in the trash. Wrong, yes, but I wanted Theo here everyday with me. If I was forced to marry Dex, then I wanted to at least be close to Theo. My selfish mind didn’t care any longer. With a new bartender, Theo would have no reason to be around anymore. I couldn't bear the thought of not seeing him again. I glanced down to his clipboard. The precious fucking clipboard. He never left it behind. Grabbing it, I noticed the scribbling and sank down in the chair to read it.

 

What we want in a bartender

•     Great personality
•     Good liquor knowledge
•     Why is this girl Tracey trying to get me to stare at her tits
•     Penny’s are better
•     Stop thinking about Penny’s tits
•     OMG, stop staring at Penny’s tits
•     Focus
•     Penny smells nice
•     This list is shit

 

My heart lurched at his list. So this is what he had been hiding from me. I read the list a few times, folded the piece of paper and slipped it in my pocket. Theo was adorkable.

Once I got home, I sank onto my bed. I was worn out from an exhausting day at work.

Margo knocked on the bedroom door. Feeling glum, I hadn’t even acknowledged her presence when I entered the house.

“Hey, can I come in?” she asked as she rapped at the door again.

“It’s open.” I nuzzled my nose further into my pillow as I lay on my belly.

The bed dipped when she sat beside me. “You ok?” she asked, rubbing my back.

I flipped over, and a few tears trickled down the sides of my face. “What do you think?”

Margo knew the whole story and supported me fully. She knew I could never tell, and had sworn on her life, and the life of her and MMA fighter guy’s unborn children, she wouldn’t say a word. “That bad, huh? I know life isn’t looking so good right now, but you’re doing the right thing.”

“Am I?”

I sat up and her arms wrapped around me. “Yes, you are. You know you are. This is true love.”

I scoffed. “I don’t love him.”

Her eyes softened. “Yes, you do.”

“Can we just please eat some ice cream and watch an old movie?”

She laughed, rising from the bed. “I’ve already picked out the movie. It’s a good one. I knew you’d be seeing Theo today, so I figured a comedy was in order.”

“Perfect, I’ll be right there. Let me change.”

She nodded and left the room. I changed into a pair of black yoga pants and a white cami and gazed into the mirror. My weary eyes stared back. I felt like shit. My chest tightened as I thought about my father, an asshole who wanted control over me. What better way to get it than by dangling my one true dream in my face with one hand, while holding onto the man I wanted more than anything in the other. I was stupid for thinking I could manipulate the system he set forth and weasel my way out of a marriage to Dex.

In the past three weeks I hadn’t slept with Dex, but each night it grew harder and harder to thwart his advances. He probably thought I had major digestive issues and a brain tumor. But the thought of having sex with him made me sick.

The Devil in the Sack. His new nickname. And he had the horns and evil ways to match.

A knock at the door sounded, and I went to answer it.

“Dex, what are you doing here?” I glanced behind him to Margo. She gave me a “please don't hate me” look and mouthed the words ‘I’m sorry’ before leaving us alone.

“I decided to surprise you.” He brushed past me, entering my bedroom. “I thought I could stay the night.”

“I have to work early,” I said, hoping he would take the hint and leave.

“So do I.”

Oh, hell no. He would not be staying here. I moved over to my dresser and grabbed the lotion, smoothing it on my arms while I thought of what to do. This couldn’t happen. He wanted sex, plain and simple, and his dick would get nowhere near me. That was a fact.

I couldn’t deny him forever. And once I said my ‘I do’s’ it was over. I would be his wife, and what then? Something told me he would not be accepting of a blow up doll if I suggested it. No way could I spend my life having sex with someone who repulsed me. So, I needed to talk to my father first thing. There was no way I could go through with this.

“Margo and I are having a girl’s night,” I told him. Without a word, he crossed to the bathroom and closed the door. “You should have called first,” I yelled to the door. A few minutes later the door swung open, and Dex stepped out in his boxers and nothing else. I wanted to vomit.

“You can do it another night,” he said, tugging back the bright orange comforter.

I pulled in a deep breath. Now, I needed to up my game.

“Look,” I placed my hands on my hips and told the one lie guaranteed to get him out of here. “I have my period.” He cringed and turned to me. “When I have my period, it's ugly. Cramps, heavy flow…”

“For fucks sake, Penny,” he said, cutting me off.

I was nowhere near done. Men hated to hear about this stuff, so I expanded on my lie. “Well there's no need to act grossed out,” I said. “When we’re married, you’ll be expected to pick up tampons on occasion.”

“There's no way in hell I’m picking up tampons,” he said, crossing his arms.

“Famous last words,” I said. “At any rate, I'm just too bloated and my stomach feels like someone is sticking knives in it, and Margo and I have what we call a period ritual. It's a party of sorts.” He closed his eyes and shook his head. “Did you want to be part of the period party?”

His eyes snapped open. “What do you think, Penny?” He stalked over to the bathroom and slammed the door. I bit back a laugh at how easily he flustered at the mention of my menstrual cycle. Good to know. Five minutes later, he swung the door open, fully clothed.

Relief swam through my veins. The look on my face must have clued Dex in to my feelings.

“You can try not acting so disgusted with me, Penny. The truth is we’re going to be married soon, so you need to come to terms with that fact, and quickly. There will be sex another time.” His hands grabbed my shoulder as he pulled me toward him.

“Now, be a good little fiancée and kiss your future husband goodbye,” he said as his lips got closer to mine.

My hand rose to his chest to hold off his advances. “That’s the thing Dex, I’m not your wife yet. And, if I have to spend a lifetime with you, well, then I’ve decided no sex until marriage.”

“Are you fucking kidding me?”

“No, I’m not. Good night,” I turned away from him and crossed to the door, swinging it open.

“You fucking little bitch,” he spat.

My muscles tensed as I squeezed my eyes shut. “Dex, you did not just call me a bitch. Get out,” I said through clenched teeth.

“Fine, I’ll abide to your brand new vow of celibacy and virtues, but after that ring slides on your finger you’re going to wish you’d given into me right now. You have no idea how much pain I can cause.” He marched out of the bedroom and slammed the door shut.

I released a shaky breath as a tear escaped my eye. My anger toward my father grew deeper as I closed my eyes, praying for a way out.

 

 

***

When I woke up the next morning, I got ready for work, and called my father.

“Penny,” he answered, toxicity filling the line with each breath.

“Can I come see you?” I had no pleasantries or idle chit chat left for him.

“Sure, make it one o’clock.”

I hung up after a quick goodbye. I stared at the screen, wanting to call Theo, but the option was no longer viable.

When I pulled up to my father’s office building, I sat, staring at my steering wheel. I needed a game plan.

With not much confidence, I left my car and pushed back my shoulders. I could fake this.

In the elevator, I watched the numbers count up as it brought me closer to him.

“Penelope, what brings you by?” My father stood from his office chair gesturing his hand for me to take a seat across from him.

“I wanted to talk about Dex.” I sat, crossing my legs at the ankle and resting my hands on my lap. My palms were sweating and I refused to rub them on my thighs and give him that tell-tale sign.

“What’s there to discuss?” My father’s eyes narrowed as he sunk back into his seat.

“I don’t love him,” I said, hoping he would see reason. Yes, my big plan involved stating the obvious. Twenty minutes of staring at the steering wheel and that's what I came up with.

He leaned back in his chair. “I’ve already told you, I want to retire soon, and I won’t leave my company to someone who isn’t family.”

“Leave it to me,” I said as my resolve strengthened.

“To you? You know nothing of how to run this company. I won’t leave my company to a woman with no experience. Besides, you want that turtle sanctuary garbage. We agreed on all of this.”

Garbage. That's what he thought of my mother’s work, as she devoted her life, creating a charity to save the turtles. A true socialite, she had her passions and my father hated every minute of it.

“I know, but I just can’t do the marriage part. I don’t love him. Hell, I don’t even like him.”

My father chuckled slightly as he rubbed his thumbs into his temple. “Penny, I understand you’re worried. Dex is a good man, and he can take care of you better than Theo ever could. Besides we agreed on this.” My father waited for my reaction, testing me to gauge my true feelings for Theo.

I gave him nothing. A stone cold poker face is all that stared back at him. “I couldn’t care less about Theo. My issue resides with marrying someone I don’t like.”

“Penny, run the Lopa as you wanted. All of these details we’ve discussed. If you don’t marry Dex then you know what will happen,” he said as he stared right through me.

If I thought I could make him see reason, I was wrong. This man, a master negotiator and lethal businessman, always got his way.

“Fine,” I said as I rose from my seat. My fight had all but left me as I made my way to the door.

“Penelope, just stick to the plan.”

“Yeah, sure.” I opened the door and walked out.

I spent the rest of the afternoon wandering the streets of downtown Miami, lost in a sea of tourists and riding a wave of despair. Unsure of my next course of action, and refusing to admit defeat, I decided on a plan that seemed pretty full proof.

I would drink my troubles away.