Clara
I could feel his eyes on me for most of the ride to his home ... which was soon to be my home. I refrained from shaking my head at how ironic this was, that here I was, sitting next to the man I wanted more than anything in the world, the boy who’d gotten me sent to jail, the person no one wanted me to be with, and now I was going to be living with him, spending most of my day with him, hearing the way he spoke, the way he flirted, his irreverent speech... And I was in heaven. And hell. Because I wasn’t his girlfriend, and all this flirting he was throwing my way didn’t mean a thing. He was no longer the boy who’d fallen in love with me, he was a man who only wanted sex. And I would refuse to give it to him, unless I was sure he truly wanted me for me, and not for what was between my legs. Until then, he was my boss, and nothing was going to happen between us.
I pulled up to his house, stopping behind a wreck of a car.
Dante swore. “Why won’t she leave me the fuck alone?!”
I put the brake on, my gaze going to the woman getting out of the rundown car. I instantly recognised her from the clinic, her ice-cold glare directed at me. She stalked to my door and yanked it open, bending her head down to my level. “Who the hell are you?” she barked with a strong Croatian accent.
“None of your fuckin’ biz, Kara,” Dante spat back, getting out of the Mustang.
Kara stalked around the bonnet, getting into his personal space, firing off a barrage of words at him. I jumped out of the car and ran to Dante’s side, his ex’s voice steadily rising.
“So, you’ve already moved the fuck on?” she snapped.
“No, Clara’s an employee, my P.A.,” Dante growled back.
Kara laughed. “You have a P.A.? What the hell, Dante? You can wipe your own arse without needing some pink-haired tramp holding the toilet paper.” Her eyes moved to me, the ice blue colder than the arctic. She sniffed as though I wasn’t even worth speaking to, the woman already writing me off as someone of little concern. Her hard gaze returned to Dante. She stepped in closer, her hands going to his hips, a purr coming from her lips. “You want to go up to your room and take a shower, like the last time? I’ll make it worth your while, dragi.”
He pushed her hands away and stepped around her, muttering, “No.”
She ran after him in her sky-high heels, her skirt just as sky high, revealing the curve of her butt. “Don’t be like that, Dante,” she said, pulling her skirt down a fraction. “I’m sorry I embarrassed you at the clinic.”
He spun around to face her. “You didn’t embarrass me, you pissed me off cos you can’t get it into your thick skull that I’m done with you. Then you go and do the exact thing I left you for. You lashed out, shoving me, like the time you shoved me so hard that you knocked me unconscious.”
“That was an accident, and I apologised enough times.”
“Which you obviously didn’t mean, otherwise you wouldn’t have done it again, so fuck off.”
“No! Not until you listen to me.”
“I’ve had enough of listening to your skank-ho arse.”
Her hand whipped out, slapping him across the face. “Don’t you dare call me that!” she yelled.
He sneered at her. “Then don’t offer your pussy up so freely, cos it fuckin’ reeks.”
Her eyes widened, then a torrent of words flew out of her mouth, a mix of English and Croatian. Dante snapped back at her in Croatian, adding, “Go to hell!” at the end. He stormed towards the house, shoving the gate so hard that it smashed into the fence. He continued to swear as he let himself into the house, leaving me and Kara standing on the footpath.
She turned to me, closing the distance between us in the blink of an eye. “Are you really his P.A.?”
I nodded, hoping she didn’t recognise me from all those years ago when I’d turned up to hers and Dante’s place.
She gave me a once-over, seemingly assessing me. “You’re his type,” she said. “Do you want to have sex with my man?”
“No,” I lied.
“Good,” she said, appearing pleased with my answer. “Then we can be good friends. You will help me win him back.”
Like hell! “I was told by Dante’s boss that I had to keep you away from him.”
She sneered. “Jade, I presume,” she hissed out. “Gay boy wants my man all to himself, even though Dante has no interest in dick. But don’t worry about him, draga, Jade doesn’t need to know a thing. Dante can fuck whoever he likes, as long as it’s me, unless...” She eyed me again. “You really don’t want to have sex with my man? I’m willing to share if you help me. Was always willing to share as long as I have him back.”
“I’m not interested.”
She smiled. “Are you a lesbian? I’ll lick your pussy and make you come real hard if you help me win Dante.”
My eyes widened. “I like men!”
“Then you’ll want to fuck my Dante, because he’s the best. If we work together, we can both have him in no time. Two women working together can achieve anything, plus you’re pretty. I wouldn’t object to pleasuring you to make Dante horny.”
My mouth dropped to the ground, shocked by what I was hearing, the woman having changed since I saw her five or so years ago. Maybe Simon was right about her. Dante had broken her too, making her willing to do anything to win him back.
She reached out, touching my wide-open mouth, pushing her finger inside. I quickly stepped back, the woman grossing me out. “Don’t touch me!”
She narrowed her eyes at me. “So, you’re not willing to help me?”
“At all.”
She clicked her tongue. “Unfortunate for you, draga, because you don’t want to make me your enemy.” A cruel smile pulled at her lips. “At all. And tell Dante this isn’t over. He promised me we’d be together. I’m holding him to that.”
She spun on her heel and headed back to her car, climbing into the driver’s seat. I watched as the engine spluttered to life, coating Dante’s shiny Mustang with exhaust smoke. She drove off, leaving me spluttering from the fumes. Waving a hand in front of my face, I locked the Mustang, then headed through the gate, letting myself into the house.
I called out Dante’s name, getting an, “Up here!”
I climbed the staircase to his room, knocking on the door. “Are you all right in there?”
“I’m fine now.” He let out a loud burp. “Fuckin’ fine as shit with Jack.”
“Is someone in there with you?”
He sniggered. “Yeah, Jack Daniels.”
My face fell. I pushed his door open, finding him sitting on his bed, holding a bottle of whiskey, a good portion of it gone. I stormed over to him, snatching it out of his hands, spilling some of the liquid on his top in the process. “Where did you get that?!”
“Found it through the cat flap. Kara left it for me with a card.” He held the card out for me to see. “She said I can have all the booze I want if I go back to her.”
“What a bitch!” I snapped, not believing the woman.
“Yup, she’s certainly that.” He rose to his feet and reached for the bottle.
I moved it behind my back. “She claims to love you but gives you alcohol? That’s not love.”
“She’ll try to get me back anyway she can, but it won’t work. I’ll drink from the bottles she gives me, but not from her pussy.”
I screwed up my nose, disgusted by his language. “That’s a repulsive thing to say!”
“If ya don’t like my lingo, quit. At least I’ll be able to have a drink in peace.” He tried to snatch the bottle back, but I spun around, keeping it out of his reach.
“Stop it, Dante! You’re ruining your health and your career by drinking.”
Scowling, he stopped reaching for the bottle. “I’d be dead by now if I didn’t drink. Pro’bly would’ve run in front of cars like my bro used to do. He wuz too fast to get hit, though he wanted to. My stepdad raped him like he raped me.”
He slumped back down onto his bed, removing his whiskey-soaked shirt, his muscles flexing as he did it. “I used whiskey and vodka to help me forget ’bout my stepdad raping me. I also used ’em to forget ’bout him raping my bro and stabbing my mum to death. I even used booze to forget ’bout Kara shoving me around, yelling at me like I wuz a fucktard with no brains.” He shook his head. “I bloody loved that bitch, would’ve done anything for her, but she ruined that.” He flopped onto his back. “I also drunk to forget ’bout Beth, my other love. She treated me like I wuz dumb too. She wuz also a liar. She straight up told me the baby she wuz having wuz mine, when it wuz my bro’s.” He pushed up onto his hands. “Remember I told you she wuz in a relationship with my bro before me? She cheated on him to be with me, but I couldn’t decide between her and Kara, and when I finally decided on Kara, Beth lied to get me back. When I found out, I broke up with her. She ran after me, gettin’ hit by a car in the process. It happened right in front of my eyes. I drink to forget ’bout that too.” His face twisted with sorrow. “There’s so much I wanna forget, for those moments to be wiped from my memory, but what do I get? Good memories wiped away instead. Is that fair?”
I shook my head, none of it fair.
He patted the bed next to him. “So, help me remember the good memories so I don’t think ’bout the bad ones.”
I walked over and sat down next to him, placing the bottle on the floor, out of his reach.
He watched me do it, then raised his gaze to my face. “I wanna remember loving you,” he said.
I felt my chest clench, wanting that too.
“Help me remember, cos I have a feeling you treated me better than Beth and Kara. I wanna remember loving someone who didn’t lie or hurt me.”
“I’m hardly an angel. I did things I shouldn’t have, went to prison for them.”
He grimaced. “Don’t remind me of the bad, only the good, or I’ll get that bottle of whiskey offa you, and you won’t be able to stop me from downing the rest.”
“Fine.” I breathed out. “How about I start from the beginning?”
He nodded, sitting up straighter, his sullenness instantly turning to interest.
I took a deep breath in, then started from the day I’d helped save him from three thugs. “It was my first day at Wera High as a teacher. I saw three seniors ganging up on a boy. I didn’t think, I just ran, trying to stop them from hurting him. It was a stupid thing to do since the thugs were twice my size. I could’ve gotten hurt, but that thought came too late. Luckily, they took off, leaving me alone with the boy. That boy was you.”
“So, you saved me?”
I nodded. “Though, you weren’t grateful, in fact you were quite angry that a chick had made you look like a fool. While I was just stunned.”
“’Bout what?”
“You.”
He frowned. “How?”
“Quite frankly, you were beautiful. Not like anything has changed, you still are.” My face fell. “I didn’t mean to say that, forget it.”
He laughed, the sound beautiful in itself. “Nope, I’m keeping that one. So, what did I do?”
“You stared at me for a moment, like you’d been struck, then your anger snapped you out of it.”
“What happened after that?”
“You thought I told the principal about the fight, getting you into trouble, but I hadn’t. Little difference it made, because you decided to make it your life’s mission to torment me as punishment.”
He laughed again. “Sounds like sumpthin’ I’d do. So, how come we got together if I wuz a prick to you? Do ya have a thing for bad boys?”
“No, I was intensely attracted to you, as you were to me. You taunted me, trying to goad me into doing something with you, like the time in the girls’ toilets.” I swallowed at the memory of Dante on the other side of the toilet door, getting a—
“Ha!” he said, his eyes lighting up. “I wuz gettin’ a blow job from a senior. You walked in, lookin’ like you were gonna bust us, but froze instead. I could see you over the top of the toilet door. You watched me like you wanted to be the one blowing me.” He laughed. “Fuck, how did I remember that? It just came outta nowhere.” He prodded my nose. “It’s you, you’re making me remember. Fuck, that wuz hot. I also remember imagining it wuz your lips wrapped around my cock instead of the senior’s.”
I bit my bottom lip, having imagined that too.
His eyes dropped to my mouth. “What else do ya remember?” he asked, still staring at my lips.
I cleared my throat and ran a hand over my skirt, using it to distract me from his stare. “You also kissed me in my home.” I shook my head, what had happened that night so wrong, even though it was one of the memories I brought up constantly. “But I took it further.”
“How?”
I closed my eyes, remembering every detail. How he’d flirted outrageously, provoking me, trying to get me to give in to him. And how he’d kissed me, tasting of whiskey and heaven. I’d slapped him for it, then slapped him a second time after he’d been rude, going in for a third when he wouldn’t give up. He’d grabbed my wrists, stopping me. But he couldn’t have stopped what was coming next.
I’d kissed him, right there in my lounge, the rage he’d triggered turning into full-blown lust. My teeth had clashed against his teeth in my rush to taste him. I could still remember him jerking his head back, looking shocked, but I’d been past caring by that stage, any restraint I’d had completely stripped away. He’d taunted me, flirted with me, gotten me so wound up and needy that once I’d opened the floodgates, nothing could’ve stopped me from taking what I’d wanted from him.
I continued, “I basically mauled your mouth, then shoved my hand down the front of your pants, grabbing your cock.” I opened my eyes, swallowing as he licked his lips.
“Did we fuck?”
I shook my head. “Your ride came, interrupting us.”
“Did they catch us?”
“No, but your uncle caught me at a later date. I went over to your house after we had an argument, wanting to make things up to you. Your father almost caught us kissing in your room. You shoved me into your wardrobe, then got him to leave with you, so I could escape without him knowing. Your uncle saw me leaving your property. I pretended I was a Jehovah’s Witness, but he eventually cottoned onto the affair.”
“Which uncle?”
“Jasper’s father.”
His face saddened. “He wuzn’t technically my uncle, I just called him that. He wuz a close friend of my dad’s as well as my best mate’s dad. And you don’t needa tell me what happened with him, unfortunately that memory came back quick, one of the few things that did.”
My thoughts went to the man’s sister. “Do you remember anything else about Jasper’s family?” I asked, hoping he didn’t remember what his friend’s auntie had done to him.
“Like what?” he replied, seemingly unperturbed.
“About Jasper killing Happy Meal?” I said instead, coming up with the first thing that popped into my mind.
He shook his head. “Don’t remember, but I know ’bout it. Though, I do remember Happy Meal from before I lost my memory. He wuz a fuckin’ bastard, got what he deserved, just wished that Jasper’s dad didn’t hafta pay with his life for what Jasper did.” He frowned. “Jasper never forgave himself for that, took it real hard. He tried to commit suicide more than once, but the vice prez’s woman helped him claw his way outta his depression.”
“What’s Jasper doing now?”
“Serving time.”
My heart sank. “For what?”
“Car theft, well, way more than car theft. The Skins used to steal cars, fixing ’em up so they could sell ’em. They got sprung, most of ’em goin’ to jail. Jasper got a lot of time. He claimed he wuz behind the chop shop to get the prez and vice prez off, which worked. My dad rang earlier, sayin’ their sentences have been reduced.” His expression clouded over. “While Jasper’s has been lengthened another two years.” He shook his head. “I know he did it so the women could get their husbands back, but fuck it, it ain’t fair. He may have been involved in stealing the cars, but he wuz small time in comparison to the vice prez and prez. Still, if he has to stay in bloody prison, I hope they at least move him to another one.”
“Why?”
“Phelia,” he growled. “That bitch is a prison guard there.”
My eyebrows shot up, never in a million years expecting a girl like Phelia to be a prison guard.
“You know her?”
I nodded. “I wish I didn’t. Like you, she was in my English class. She also spoke against me at my trial. She claimed I seduced you, stealing you from her.”
His expression turned stony. “Fuck, I hate her. I wuz never hers to steal.”
“Does she still bug you?”
He shook his head. “Her obsession with me died a long time ago. She’s obsessed with Jasper now.”
My eyebrows rose even higher. “But I thought she didn’t like Jasper.”
“Only cos he wuz fat back at school. He’s nuthin’ like that now. He’s lost a shit ton of weight, turning it into muscle. He now looks similar to his uncle, and you know what Killer looks like. It’s why Phelia wants Jasper. I heard that superficial bitch is sexually harassing him, tryna make him do shit with her or pay the price.”
“What price?”
“She got him thrown into the hole more than once when he refused to play ball. I told him to get Killer to sort her out, but he won’t. Apparently, she’s holding sumpthin’ over his head, he just won’t say what.” He grunted. “Why are we even talkin’ ’bout this? I wanted you to cheer me up, not make me feel worse.”
I went to apologise, but stopped at the sound of the doorbell. “I’ll get it,” I said, pushing up. I went for the door, then quickly retraced my steps, grabbing the whiskey before Dante could get a hand to it, which he was already trying to do. I shot out of his room, slipping the whiskey into my bedroom before running down the stairs. I reached for the door handle just as the bell went off again. I quickly pulled it open, freezing at what I saw, the man standing before me a replica of Dante.
Ash Rata.
I’d mistaken Dante’s older brother for Dante once before, but from a distance. It had been a month after I’d gotten out of prison. I’d gone to Dante’s house, parking up the road from it. Ash had appeared first, then Dante had followed. They’d looked like twins from a distance. But this was the first time I’d seen Ash up close, and he still looked like he could be Dante’s twin, the three years between them not showing at all. If it weren’t for their different tattoos, people would probably confuse them. Unlike Dante’s tattoo around his left eye and the colourful designs covering his arms, Ash had tribal tattoos on his neck and left arm. The arm tattoo, which stopped at his elbow, extended out over his pec, his black singlet partially covering the Maori design. He was also clad in leather pants and shit-kickers, the man looking like he’d stepped out of the film Once Were Warriors.
As if I were nothing, he pushed past me, yelling, “You fucker, get down here. Now!”
“Excuse—” The me caught in my throat as he spun around to face me, his expression furious.
“Leave,” he growled.
“She ain’t goin’ anywhere, Ash,” Dante said.
I glanced up at the staircase, which Dante was descending. He’d put on a black shirt, his scruffy appearance and slightly glazed eyes making it look he’d just gotten out of bed.
“Like hell,” Ash snapped. “I hear you ditched rehab, now you’re fuckin’ random hoes again?”
“She ain’t a ho, she’s my P.A., dipshit, so apologise to her.”
Ash’s head snapped around to me, making me take a rapid step back, the guy intense. “Is he tellin’ the truth? Cos the bastard lies all the time.”
“Fuck you, you cunt,” Dante barked, stopping in front of him. “Ask your girlfriend if you don’t believe me.”
Ash’s brow furrowed. “Why would Tiana know ’bout her?”
“No, L.”
Ash scowled at him. “L ain’t my girlfriend, nor is she a girl, motherfucker. Tiana’s my woman, so quit provoking me.”
“Tell L that, cos she’s writing shitty love songs ’bout you.”
“What the fuck are ya on about?”
“I just blew Jade up, tellin’ him there’s no way I’m singing L’s songs. The first one wuz a love ballad ’bout unrequited love, a sickly-sweet childhood fantasy. She may have swapped the gender roles around for me, but it wuz bloody obvious it wuz ’bout you. She has it hard for you, bro, like real hard.” He made a crude gesture to his groin.
“You’re fuckin’ delusional, L’s just a mate.”
“A mate who’s always visiting you.”
“Cos she’s a mate, dipshit. That’s what mates do.”
“Mates don’t have perky tits that are begging you to suck ’em.”
“Fuck, you’re a foulmouthed bastard, and stop deflecting shit. Just tell me why you got booted outta rehab.”
“Some prick had it in for me.”
Ash rolled his eyes. “Yeah, it’s always someone else’s fault.”
“It’s true,” I piped up, not liking that he was blaming Dante. “It wasn’t Dante’s fault; it was a counsellor’s.”
Ash narrowed his eyes at me, reminding me of his father, his hard gaze the same. “How do you know that?” he asked.
“I used to work there as a counsellor. The creep was prejudiced against Dante.”
“How?”
“Because he assumed he was a gang-member. He also didn’t approve of Dante’s father being gay—”
“Our dad ain’t gay, he just has a kink for Killer.” He cocked his head to the side, assessing me. “But I guess you already know that, Mrs. Hatton. I remember you now, you’re that teacher who Dante diddled.”
I swallowed. “My name’s not Hatton anymore.”
“Guess you changed your name and hair so people didn’t recognise ya.” He waved a hand at my hair. “It almost threw me off, but I’ve got an eye for faces, don’t ever forget ’em, and yours wuz plastered all over the news. They called you a blonde bombshell. You don’t look like a bombshell to me, you look like a scared li’l girl.”
Dante stepped in front of me. “That’s cos you’re bein’ a prick and intimidating her.”
Ash shrugged. “Guess that’s why the paedo likes boys, men scare her.”
Dante stepped closer to Ash, the two brothers almost nose to nose. “She ain’t a fuckin’ paedo,” he growled low. “Otherwise she wouldn’t still want me.”
“Da fuck do I care. You’re an adult now, you can stick your dick in her to your heart’s content.” He stopped talking and sniffed Dante, a scowl rapidly spreading across his face. “You’ve been drinking.”
Dante tensed. “Didn’t have much,” he said, taking a quick step back. “Clara took it offa me.”
Ash glared at him. “You shouldn’t be having any. And that’s why you should be in rehab, not here talkin’ to me.”
“He wouldn’t have had any if his ex-girlfriend didn’t put it through the cat flap,” I cut in, still scared of Ash, but not willing to let him put all the blame on Dante.
Ash frowned. “Which ex?”
“Kara.”
He shook his head. “Nah, she wouldn’t do that. She wuz at the intervention.”
“It was definitely her. She left Dante a note, saying she’d give him all the alcohol he wants if he goes back to her. She even propositioned me to help get him back, stuck her finger in my mouth.” I pulled a face, still disgusted by what she’d done. “She said if we worked together, we could both have him in no time.”
“What da fuck?!” Dante yelled.
Ash spoke over him. “That bloody bitch,” he snarled. His gaze moved to Dante. “She claims to love you, yet she goes and does that? That ain’t love, that’s selfish as shit. You defo made the right decision to leave her.”
Dante grimaced, hurt pulling at his expression, which in turn hurt me. I went to say something to make him feel better, but was cut off by a loud, “Ash!” I looked at the entrance as L and Dante’s manager stepped through the doorway.
L’s face was beaming, the woman truly stunning. She ran past me in a flurry of orange and blonde hair, wrapping Ash up in a hug, looking so tiny next to the muscular man.
“What are you doing here?” she asked, sounding like all her Christmases had come at once. “Do you need me to watch over Angelo?” She let go of him. “Is he still sick?”
“No,” Ash answered. “A mate’s lookin’ after him.”
“Then you’re free to stay for a drink and a chat,” she said, her lovely Welsh accent lyrical. “What would you like? A hot chocolate or an orange juice?”
Ash chuckled, a smile cracking his stern expression. “Do ya think I look like a hot chocolate kinda guy?”
Her pale cheeks went a splotchy red. “You don’t drink coffee, so I thought... um... you’d prefer it.”
“Nah, I’m not thirsty, but thanks anyway.”
Dante sniggered behind his brother. “But L’s defo thirsty for your dick.”
L’s expression dropped, the poor woman looking horrified over Dante’s comment.
Ash spun around, getting his face in Dante’s. “Apologise, fucker!”
Dante flicked his teeth with his tongue. “You didn’t apologise to Clara for callin’ her a whore, so wear it, bitch.”
Ash narrowed his eyes at Dante. “I ain’t ever apologising to a woman who fucked a fifteen-year-old.”
“Then I ain’t apologising to L until she admits she’s only helping you out cos she wants you.”
“L’s a friend, nuthin’ more.”
“You’re dreaming, bro, cos it’s obvious she has a hermaphy hard-on for you, and right now, maybe you should give her a piece of the Rata pie.”
“I’m with Tiana!”
“You shouldn’t be. I may love T like a sister, but she ain’t treating you right of late. But L is. Throw her your bone, dog, cos T ain’t worth it anymore. You made a mistake gettin’ back with her. It ain’t working. Admit it.”
“I didn’t make a fuckin’ mistake, Tiana’s mine,” Ash spat.
Dante shook his head. “You were in denial with Beth, now you’re in denial with Tiana. Move on, you know the relationship has turned sour. You can’t stay with a woman who refuses to accept your soon-to-be-born kid. Is she still pissed at you over it? Not like it’s your fault. If she didn’t leave you, you wouldn’t have got with Beth and knocked her up. Now T’s back, she can’t have everything her way. Either leave her or make her suck it up, cos when the baby comes, it should go to you, not the grandparents.”
“I can’t leave Tiana. I lost out on seein’ Angelo for a year when she split with me.”
“Get shared custody this time.”
“Fathers don’t get the same rights as mothers. If I left her, she could stop me from seein’ him like she did the last time.”
“So, you’ve considered leaving her?”
Ash clamped his mouth shut, Dante obviously hitting on something.
“Does she wanna split too?”
Ash shook his head, his expression worried. “I’m not leaving her, I love her.”
“I love Kara too, but I can’t stay with her. Our relationship is too toxic.”
“Tiana’s not a nut job like Kara, she just can’t accept that I’m gonna be a dad for another woman’s baby.”
“She’ll hafta if she wants to stay with you.”
Ash ran a hand through his messy black hair, hair just like Dante’s. “I’ll sort sumpthin’ out.”
“Just as long as it’s with the new baby, cos kids come first.”
“What do you know? You don’t have kids.”
“I know if I had one I wouldn’t let some woman try to make me give it up. Grow some balls and stand up to her.”
Ash snorted out a derisive laugh. “You’re tellin’ me to grow some balls? You’re the one turning to the bottle at the drop of a hat.”
“Just cos I’m an alcoholic doesn’t mean I don’t know what I’m talkin’ ’bout. You’re just too pig-headed to take advice.”
“No, it’s cos your advice fuckin’ sucks. If I leave Tiana, I lose both her and Angelo. And it’s not like I won’t be able to see the new baby. Beth’s mum said I can pop in whenever I want.”
“It’s not fair to make Mrs. Connor quit her job to raise your kid.”
“She offered! And I work constantly, so I can’t look after a new-born. I wouldn’t even know how to. And I can’t expect Tiana to quit work to raise another woman’s child. At least Mrs. C is the grandmother.”
“What the fuck is wrong with you?!” Dante yelled. “I’d drop everything to be with the baby if it wuz mine.”
“I wish it wuz yours.”
Dante glared at him. “That’s a fuckin’ shit thing to say.”
“I didn’t ask for the kid.”
“That’s what Dad said ’bout Sledge and Juliet, he didn’t ask for them.”
Ash tensed. “I’m nuthin’ like that fuck-up! So shut your mouth!”
Dante raised a brow. “Or what? You’ll make me? Nah, you won’t do shit, cos Tiana’s turned you into a pussy.”
Ash shunted Dante back with his chest. Dante shoved him in return, the brothers resembling two raging beasts ready to tear each other’s throats out. I lunged forward, grabbing Dante’s arm, while L went for Ash, trying to pull him back, the woman too small to do much.”
“Ash, no!” she scolded. “Stop it!”
Ash yanked his arm free and let out a low growl, his hard gaze not leaving his brother. “Fuckin’ lecturing me when you’re with your teacher. She went to prison for riding your underage cock.”
“My cock ain’t underage anymore, fucker, so she can ride it all she wants.”
“I’m the fucker?” Ash let out a mean laugh. “From what I hear, it’s the other way around. Are you still fucking Jade for cash or are ya doin’ it for free now?”
Dante’s face dropped, then he leapt at Ash, throwing a punch at him. Ash stumbled back. L screamed and went to shield him, but Ash shoved her behind him and swung out at Dante with a meaty fist, knocking him into the staircase railing. I pushed in front of Dante as he went to retaliate, but he shoved me to the side, looking like he wanted to rip his brother’s head off.
“No, Dante!” L cried, pushing in between them.
Ash swung L around to protect her, but Dante was already lowering his fist, though he looked like he wanted to rain a thousand blows down on Ash. “Fuck off,” he growled, his expression just as vicious as his brother’s.
Ash sneered at him. “Gladly.” He left without another word, L running after him.
Dante’s manager held up his hands. “I didn’t tell him about what we did.”
My heart slammed against my chest, not expecting the man to confirm it. I’d just assumed that Ash had insulted Dante, not actually meant it.
I turned to Dante. “He paid you for sex?” I asked in shock.
Looking horrified at my question, Dante took off up the stairs, disappearing into his room, slamming the door shut behind him.
I turned to his manager. “So, you did pay him for sex?”
“It’s not what you think,” Mr. Park replied, his Texan accent at odds with his looks. He was a small Korean man with very pretty features. I couldn’t tell his age, because he looked as young as me, but sounded a lot older, the man a confusing combination.
“You either paid Dante or you didn’t,” I said.
“It’s none of your business what Dante and I chose to do. You can hardly judge.”
“Dante wasn’t upset about people knowing what he did with me, but he was with you. That’s rather telling.”
He crossed his arms over his chest and lifted his chin haughtily, although his upset made his chin quiver. “What are you implying?”
“How much did you offer him? And how desperate was he for that cash? Because Dante wouldn’t even consider going with you if he wasn’t desperate. He isn’t gay and has a hang up over being called a whore.”
Mr. Park bit his lip, his expression without a doubt guilty. “I was desperate, he was desperate, that’s all you need to know.”
“You were desperate?”
“For him. I love Dante.”
“So, you tried to buy his love?”
He didn’t reply.
“Is that also why you offered him the music contract?”
He shook his head. “No, he deserved to be signed. He’s got an incredible voice.”
“That’s definitely true,” I replied, remembering how great Dante was when he’d auditioned for the school musical. “But you still shouldn’t have taken advantage of his misfortune.”
“And you didn’t take advantage of him?”
“Not intentionally, and he chased me, not the other way around.”
“He was still underage.”
“And I paid for it dearly.”
“Either way, what we did was hardly scarring.”
“With the way he acted just now, that doesn’t appear to be so.”
“It is! He can’t even remember the night.”
“Why can’t he remember?”
“He drank a lot of whiskey to give him courage.”
“Dante doesn’t drink for courage; he drinks to forget.”
Mr. Park’s jaw clenched. “Then he succeeded, because when he woke up he remembered nothing.” Hurt crossed his face. “So, I tried to give him a reminder of how great it was, but instead he closed his eyes like it was a chore to be intimate with me.”
“What do you mean by that?”
“I performed oral sex on him.”
“You’re disgusting,” I spat.
“Two men together aren’t disgusting!”
“No, forcing him to do something he didn’t want to do is disgusting.”
“It was a mutual transaction!”
“One that Dante is obviously ashamed of,” I growled. “How does that make you feel, friend?”
He winced. “Horrible, but he’s over it, well, he was until his brother brought it up.” He raised a hand to massage his temple. “Though, I have no idea how Ash found out. Neither of us would tell a soul...” He swore. “No, I did tell someone.” His expression turned stormy. “Kara. I said something to her in anger once.”
I grunted, that woman truly despicable.
He stiffened. “I don’t appreciate the way you’re judging me,” he sniped, obviously misunderstanding my response, though he was right, I had judged him, and it wasn’t favourably.
He continued, “You have no right to criticise me, you’re the hired help.”
“I’m more than the help and you know it, that’s why Dante wanted to hire me in particular.”
“Either way, I’m the one paying your salary, and if you want that to continue, keep your opinions to yourself.” He spun on his heel and disappeared into the lounge, leaving me standing alone in the entrance.
I grunted again, this time because of him, the man just as bad as Dante’s ex. They’d both resorted to horrible tactics to get him, doing anything, regardless of whether it hurt Dante or not. Which was why I wouldn’t make the same mistake. I was here to help Dante, not to help myself to him.
I headed up the stairs, intending on doing just that. Helping him. I turned his door handle, finding it locked. I entered my room and opened the adjoining door, finding him lying on his bed. He quickly turned over, facing away from me.
“Fuck off,” he muttered.
I walked around the bed and sat down next to him. “Don’t feel ashamed on my account, I’ve done a lot worse.”
He covered his face with an arm. “Yeah, fucking me. Everyone fucks me over, well, not Jade, he takes it up the arse like a girl.”
Wanting to comfort him, I placed a hand on his arm. “I’m sorry I hurt your feelings.”
“My feelings?” He shrugged my hand off. “People don’t give a shit ’bout ’em, they only care ’bout how I look.”
“That’s not true. I care about you so much, Dante. And honestly, don’t feel guilty over having sex with Mr. Park, he’s the one who should feel ashamed.”
Dante lowered his arm and sat up. Despite my reassuring words, he still looked visibly upset, his expression wrenching at my heart. I just wanted to wrap him up in my arms, protecting him from everyone.
He dropped his gaze, picking at a thread in his duvet. “I can’t remember fucking him,” he said, his voice almost a whisper. “I sometimes hallucinate when I overdrink, so I thought I wuz fucking my ex, but the next morning...” He turned and pressed his face into his pillow, swearing into it.
“It’s all right,” I said, running a hand over his head, wanting to comfort him, to do anything to make him feel better.
“No, it’s not,” he said, his voice muffled by the pillow. “None of it’s all right.” He turned his head to look at me, his expression turning angry. “It is my fault. I fucked up, gambled all my money away. Cos of it, the repo men came for my car. I talked ’em into givin’ me more time, but I needed ten grand. There wuz no way I could raise that in a few days. So I whored myself for it. I’ve criticised my dad for whoring himself out, yet I went and did it too, even worse, with a dude. I don’t like men! Have never liked ’em. I did it purely for the money. I’m just as bad as my dad, no, I’m worse, cos I’m a fuckin’ hypocrite. At least he owns what he does.”
“Don’t be so hard on yourself, you were obviously desperate,” I replied, knowing what it was like to be so desperate that I did things I normally wouldn’t have.
“I’ve done a shitload of things due to bein’ desperate,” he said, “but have never whored myself out without bein’ forced to.”
I went to ask what that meant, wondering whether it was to do with his dead boss or Ngaire Rakete, but he continued talking, not giving me a chance.
“But I guess bein’ a whore is in my family’s blood,” he said. “My grandmother wuz a whore, my dad’s one, and now I’m added to the list.”
“One time.”
“Twice, if you count both the morning and night.”
“To one person, who took advantage of your situation. Again, don’t feel ashamed, I don’t think any less of you for what you did. I can hardly judge even if I did.”
He sat up. “Why are you so understanding? I whored myself. I’ve also had sex in front of a crowd, though that wuz a forced situation, but still, people see me as nuthin’ but sex. Why would you love someone like that?”
“You’re more than sex, Dante. You always have been way more than what people think of you. You’re an incredibly talented singer, a great poet, what you wrote in school brilliant, and you also care so much for kids. That’s one thing I didn’t know about you. The way you went mad at your brother was an eye-opener. It showed how nurturing and caring you are. That’s a really attractive quality. You’re a really good man, Dante.”
He stared at me, looking stunned by what I’d said.
I smiled at him. “I really do mean that. You have so many different layers, Dante. It’s not your fault that people only see the surface.”
“But you see more?” he asked, his expression hopeful.
I nodded. “I’ve always seen all of you. Have always admired how loyal you are; how funny you are. It’s not just about your looks, it’s about you.”
Without warning, he launched himself at me, grabbing my face, kissing me. I didn’t react at first, stunned by what he was doing, then all the emotions I’d been holding back, my desires and needs, wants and fantasies, and most of all, my love for him took over. I grabbed his face and returned the kiss, wanting it more than air.
He pushed me onto my back, biting my lower lip, forcing me to open my mouth. His tongue slipped in, tangling with mine. I groaned, my whole body lighting up, begging for his. Then I was feeling more than the hard lines of his muscular body, his erection pushing against me. Not breaking the kiss, he reached down, slipping his hand between us, yanking my skirt up. He tore at my knickers to get them off. I didn’t care if he ripped the lace, if anything, it reminded me of that day in my office, which only heightened my arousal.
Still kissing him, I let go of his face and snaked my hand between us, going for his fly. I unzipped it and pushed my hand inside his pants, finding that he’d gone commando. I groaned as I gripped onto his hard cock. He pulled my hand out of his pants and broke the kiss, lifting me further up the bed, basically throwing me against the mattress. He whipped his shirt off and shoved his pants down, then climbed on top of me, pushing my legs apart, his pecs flexing as he did it.
Then I felt it, his cock prodding at my opening, so hard, so big, much bigger than the last time I was with him. I cried out as he pushed inside of me. His dark, soulful eyes remained locked onto mine, Dante wanting and needing this as much as I did. He pushed further in, groaning as he did it. I wrapped my legs around his waist and clutched onto his bare back, clawing at the waka tattoo on his right shoulder blade, the image of a Maori canoe. He was completely naked, unlike me. My skirt was around my waist, while my blouse was—
He ripped it open and shoved up my bra, latching onto one of my breasts with his mouth. I cried out again and grabbed onto his hair, threading my fingers through those gorgeous black waves of his. I didn’t want to ever let go of them, his hair one of my weaknesses.
He started thrusting his hips, rocking in and out of me, as he suckled on my breast. Then he pushed my breasts together, feasting on them, making me go insane. I couldn’t believe this what happening, everything about it overwhelming, so much so that I felt like I was hallucinating, delirious with lust and love. I’d imagined him taking me so many times, in so many ways, yet this was beyond anything I could have dreamt up, the man so much rougher than the boy I’d once known.
He bit one of my nipples, making me scream, then licked it as I panted out my pain, suckling on it until I felt like I was hyperventilating. Then he let go of my breasts and placed his forehead against mine, folding my legs over, opening me up wider. He started ramming into me, slamming his cock so hard I saw stars, the pleasure racing through my body beyond anything I could describe, the sheer fact that it was him doing it unreal. He began fucking me like there was no tomorrow, and I didn’t care if there was one. All I cared about was this moment, with Dante taking me, filling me, making me cry out until I screamed the house down.
That was when I felt it, an intense pleasure building up, pushing through me, sending me through the roof. I screamed out his name. He yelled out mine in return, the both of us locked together, coming within seconds of each other.
Moments later, he rolled over, pulling me on top of him, panting, spent, his cock slipping out of me. Then it hit me, his cum was...
I gasped, realising we hadn’t used protection. I went to pull away, but he tightened his grip on me.
“No you fuckin’ don’t,” he growled. “Don’t fuck and run.”
“We didn’t use a condom!”
“Get a morning-after pill, but for now you’re staying right here.”
He lifted his head up, kissing me on the forehead, then rolled me onto my back and planted his lips against mine. The tension melted away from my body as his tongue parted my lips once more, his kiss everything that I wanted, needed, and had missed so badly during the cruel, soul destroying years without him.
I didn’t know how long we kissed for, but I never wanted it to end. Tears welled up in my eyes, the moment overwhelming. I loved him so much, wanted to keep him wrapped in my arms forever. I had harped on in my mind that I wouldn’t have sex with him until I knew he loved me back, but all along I knew it was a lie. I was a fool to think that I could ever resist him, the man my Achilles’s heel.
He broke the kiss, his expression turning from happy to surprised. “Why are you crying?” he asked, wiping away some of my tears.
“I’ve dreamt of this moment for so long,” I said, sniffling.
“Oh... Did it match up to your dreams?”
“It was beyond anything I could have dreamt.”
He smiled softly. “It wuz great for me too. It felt like you were making love to me.”
I bit my lip, knowing I had been, but for him... It was nothing but sex.
He frowned at me. “Why the upset face?”
“For you it was just sex.”
He brushed my hair off my forehead. “I wanted it as much as you did.”
No, you could never want it as much as me.
He smiled again, his eyes lighting up. “I can see why my younger self loved you. I might not right now, but I sure as shit want to see if I could.”
“What do you mean by that?”
He kissed my nose. “I don’t wanna fuck around with women anymore, I’ve had it. Done with it. What I want is just one woman. I thought I had it with Kara, but she wuzn’t right for me, the woman too vicious. I thought I could get it with Beth, but she proved to be bad for me too, but you... You love me, stuck up for me downstairs, didn’t find me disgusting when you found out I’d whored myself to save my old car. Then you gave me the best sex I’ve had in ages. I also find you incredibly attractive, completely my type. You’re also a sweetheart, yet don’t take shit from me. Maybe it won’t work between us, since I hardly know you, but fuck me, I wouldn’t mind seein’ if it could lead to sumpthin’. And right now, I need someone good in my life. I’m sick of gettin’ with chicks who screw me over. I just want one that doesn’t. One that makes me feel good instead of used. I wanna be loved so fuckin’ bad.”
I blinked at him, startled by his confession.
He grimaced, embarrassment tempering his features. “Too much?”
I shook my head, feeling more tears well up. “I won’t screw you over.”
A smile replaced his grimace. “You don’t look the type. You remind me of L in many ways, just with balls. I can see you standing up to anyone who tries to fuck me over. I just hope I’m right.”
“You are, Dante. You really are.”