AFTER A DELICIOUS dinner, during which Jonah complimented Derek’s cooking about a dozen times, asked if he remembered when their mother used to cook lamb, and called him Archie twice, they sat in the living room looking over several of Jonah’s notebooks and drawing journals. There were cartoons of his and Eva’s wedding day, of Jonah and Derek eating apples at the top of a mountain, backpacks sitting open behind them, and of a gap-toothed young Derek with a bright blue backpack in front of Harmony Pointe Elementary School on his first day of second grade. There were drawings of meals and scenery, cars and family vacations. Jonah hadn’t only captured happy memories. There were sketches of a teary-eyed, red-faced young Derek with a broken toy scattered at his feet and a watery-eyed Eva as she stood over the grave of her mother, crushing the stems of a bouquet. So many emotions jumped off each and every page, Talia thought the collection of more than three dozen notebooks and journals should be titled Depiction of a Full Life.
Now it was almost nine o’clock, and she relaxed on the sofa, listening to Derek play his guitar and sing “Lean on Me” in his father’s bedroom. He was so caring, she wondered if he ever felt ripped off or overwhelmed. If he did, she hadn’t seen it today.
She returned the drawings to the shelf and noticed the leather journal Jonah had been holding when she arrived. The journal Derek had mentioned was his. She didn’t want to snoop, but she was anxious to see it. She took it to the couch and sat with it on her lap, listening to the soothing cadence of Derek’s voice as he lulled his father to sleep with a song. She’d had a long talk with Fletch that morning when she’d gone to take Molly for a walk before coming to Derek’s, and he’d mentioned that he’d noticed a difference in her. He’d said she seemed lighter, happier. Fletch knew her so well, he’d asked if she was frightened by not having complete control of her emotions. It was a question Ben might have asked if she’d seen him these last few days. It was frightening to feel so much so fast, especially when a good part of Derek’s life was unfamiliar territory. She couldn’t avoid thinking about having been hurt in the past, but that was a decade ago, and Derek had already proven to be so much better a man than most men she knew. He shouldered the weight of his family, and he had already been painfully honest about his personal life. Fletch told her what Ben had been telling her for years. Don’t let some idiot college kid ruin you for a worthy man.
Derek’s hand on her shoulder pulled her from her thoughts.
“Damn,” he whispered as he sat beside her and put his hand over hers on the journal. “You’ve already looked at your surprise?”
“My surprise?”
He lifted it from her lap, unwound the leather strap that kept it closed, and opened to the first page, where cartoonish writing read Talia’s Journey Out of Comfort and Into Life. Below, in simple script, he’d written, As seen through the eyes of the man she almost ran over. A cartoon of her upper body sticking out of a bottle, her waist trapped by the skinny neck, her hands pushing at the rim. Her long hair was tousled, and her eyes were wide and frightened. Raised brows brought an element of excitement to the fright looking back at her. The label on the bottle read, COMFORT ZONE. As with his father’s drawings, only one element was colorized. Her eyes were vivid shades of brown, with flecks of gold in the shape of question marks around the pupil.
“You made this for me?” She met his gaze and saw so many emotions staring back at her, she couldn’t process them all. It was good to know she wasn’t alone in that whirlwind.
“This is an important journey, and I’m honored to be a part of it. I thought it might be fun to look back at it someday. You know, when we’re skydiving or backpacking through Europe and your sisters are green with jealousy.”
“We’re?” she said carefully, her heart hammering hopefully.
“You didn’t even blink at skydiving, but that beautiful brain of yours zeroed in on the more important thing I said. I really like that about you, Professor Dalton.”
She took his hand and placed it over her racing heart. “It wasn’t my brain zeroing in.”
His lips came down over hers, swift and uplifting, like a summer breeze off the ocean. It was so easy to open up to him, to want more of him and with him, but she was well aware of the limitations on his time—and so was he.
He pressed a tender kiss to her lips and said, “Where’s the harm in dreaming big?”
“I’ve only ever dreamed big when I thought about my career. I wanted to teach and become tenured. That seemed big to me.”
“You never had dreams of a family of your own? A white picket fence?”
She swallowed hard, because that wasn’t something she’d shared other than a quippy comment to her family at times. “I did, a long time ago . . .”
“The cheating ex?” His brows slanted angrily.
She nodded. “I don’t dream big, and I’ve stayed away from guys like you, who are popular and hot, for a very long time.”
“You think I’m hot?” he asked far too innocently.
She bumped him with her shoulder. “Like you don’t know it.”
“I only care that you think I’m hot. Tell me why you don’t dream big anymore, because we need to fix that. You should have dreams.”
“I’m starting to think maybe I should,” she said, feeling the tug of hope. “Terrence, the guy who cheated on me, was popular, handsome, outgoing. Everyone adored him. We were in a study group together, and he kept flirting with me. I was surprised when he first asked me out because I’m a book girl, not a party girl.”
“A gorgeous, smart, funny book girl. Don’t ever demean the incredible person you are. If some asshole didn’t realize that, that’s on him. Not a reflection of you.”
She tucked away his cherished words. It was what she’d told herself for a very long time, but somehow hearing it from Derek made it real. Believable. “Thank you. Anyway, what happened was horrible, and something I never want to go through again. We’d dated for a number of months. I’d help him with his classes, and we’d go out places. Sometimes I’d leave parties early because it just wasn’t my thing, but he never complained. And I didn’t mind that he stayed to hang out with friends. I trusted him. I thought we were good, you know? We had plans to spend part of spring break at his house and part at mine, so our families could get to know each of us better. Ben went to the same school I did, and he tried to warn me before everything went bad. He said he’d seen Terrence with another girl at a party, but when I asked Terrence about it, he denied it. I was blinded by my feelings for the guy, so I got angry with Ben. I reacted so badly. I said things to him that I still regret. I even told him to stay out of my life.” She swallowed hard, ancient sadness welling up inside her. “A few weeks later, this girl confronted me after class. I’ll never forget her. She had blond hair, blue eyes, a perfect figure, and she had one of those voices that’s soft and makes you lean in to hear her talk. Anyway, she told me she was seeing Terrence and had been for months. She showed me pictures of the two of them. There was no denying it. When I broke it off with Terrence, I needed to understand why he’d hurt me like that, and he said I wasn’t feminine enough, wasn’t outgoing enough. I just wasn’t enough for him in any way. I wondered if he’d gone out with me because I helped him with his course work, but that thought was even worse than just not being enough for him.” Even after all these years, his hateful words brought the sting of tears. She refused to cry over him and blinked them away. “Ben showed up at my dorm that night because I hadn’t responded to his texts.”
She inhaled an unsteady breath as Derek put an arm around her, drawing her against his chest. He kissed her temple and whispered, “I’m sorry.”
“I found out later that practically everyone at school who knew us was aware of his other girlfriend. I was mortified and hurt, and I never told a soul other than Ben and Fletch, and they’ve never told anyone. I told my family I decided the relationship was taking too much away from my studies, which they believed, because . . .” She shrugged and managed a smile. “I’m me, right?”
“I love who you are, Talia.” He held her tighter. “What did Ben do to the guy?”
“Exactly what you would want him to, given the angry look in your eyes. Ben stormed out of my dorm and hunted Terrence down. I’m not someone who agrees with fighting, but my heart was so broken, I was glad Ben went after him. I’m ashamed to say that, because we were only kids and kids do stupid things, but still. I’d be lying if I didn’t admit there was a sense of vindication in seeing Terrence’s broken nose the next day.”
“Sounds like Ben’s a good man. I would have done much worse. And you gave up your dreams. And now you hide behind your job and probably date safe guys who aren’t likely to hurt you.”
How could he see her so clearly? She hadn’t dated often, but when she did, she went out with guys who had what she considered safe office jobs, who didn’t party or frequent bars. The problem was, while they were safe, something had always been missing. In a strange twist of fate, they were never enough for her. They didn’t incite passion or the flutter in her chest when she saw their numbers on her phone or heard their voices, like Derek did.
She had a feeling he saw all of that, too, and didn’t need her to verbalize it.
“Something like that,” she admitted.
“I wish I’d known you then. I’d have kept you all to myself, so guys like him couldn’t get close enough to hurt you.”
“You might have been too wild for me back then.”
“Ah, you like men who are strapped down by ailing parents?” he teased.
“Only one particular man,” she said, and he kissed her again, slow and sweet. “I don’t consider caring for your father as being strapped down. That would be like seeing Bridgette as strapped down because of her son. When it’s family, it’s not being strapped down. It’s doing what’s right, what your heart tells you to do. And you haven’t let it keep you from living your life or having dreams. That says a lot about how resilient you are. I’ve been thinking about the project you’re putting together with your friends.”
“Speaking of my friends, they adore you. We’re going skiing a week from Saturday. I’d love it if you’d join us.”
“I haven’t skied since I was about eight years old. My parents taught me how, but I’m really more of a lodge girl.”
A wide grin appeared on his face. “Even better. I promised to help you step outside your comfort zone. This is perfect. I’ll give you a refresher.”
She groaned. “What if I suck? Or if I get hurt? It won’t be any fun for you.”
“Being with you is what makes it fun.” He pressed a whisper of a kiss on her cheek, and his eyes darkened. “You won’t suck . . . unless you want to.”
She felt her cheeks burn.
“Man, I could watch you blush all day long. Don’t worry. I won’t let you get hurt, and I promise we’ll both have fun.”
She inhaled a shaky breath. “Okay. I’ll try.”
“Awesome. Now, what were you saying before I interrupted?”
“I’m too busy worrying about breaking my leg to remember,” she teased, earning another delicious kiss. “Mm. Now I remember. We’re having a birthday dinner for my mom Wednesday. I’d really like it if you’d come. You can bring your father, and I was thinking that you might want to share your idea with Ben. There’s no guarantee he’ll be in the mood to talk business, but it won’t hurt to meet him. He knows about all sorts of businesses, and he might have some valuable advice. Besides, even though I think my family will drive you crazy—and I know they’ll drive me batty after meeting you—I’d like for you to meet them.”
“I want to get to know them,” he said appreciatively. “But I’ll see if Maria can stay with my father. Meeting your family all at once might be too much for him.”
“Oh, right. Sorry. I should have thought of that. You don’t have to change Maria’s schedule.”
He ran his fingers through the ends of her hair and said, “Maria’s been all over me since you and I met. She won’t mind. Besides, I have to work Tuesday and Friday nights and Saturday afternoon. I’ll lose my mind if I don’t see you in between, and I want to meet your family.” He glanced at the journal and said, “How else can I know if I drew them right?”
“Drew them?” She anxiously flipped the page in the journal and couldn’t suppress her delight at the sketch of her at the wheel of her car. She was drawn from the back, from her shoulders up. Her fingers gripped the wheel so hard he’d drawn tension lines shooting out from them. Derek leaned on the hood of her car, looking rattled, shoulders tense, hair hanging loose around his face, but in each of his vibrant blue eyes he’d drawn tiny stars forming a heart.
“Stars,” she whispered with awe.
On the back of the previous page, he’d drawn all her sisters standing around a table, upon which was a phone surrounded by cupcakes and doughnuts. She couldn’t stop grinning at his depiction of her family. Curvy Willow had full breasts, one hand propped on her rounded hip, while Piper was drawn petite and wielding a hammer, her mouth open wide. Bridgette’s hands were splayed, rivers of worry on her brow, as if she were trying to calm the others. How could he possibly know that?
“I wanted to draw your mom, but I had no idea what she looked like.”
“Her name is Roxie, and she looks like a Roxie, with thick, curly blond hair. Derek, this is incredible. I can feel the energy and can practically hear them all talking at the same time. How did you know Bridgette was a voice of reason?”
“She’s a mom. She has to be.” He tucked her hair behind her ear and said, “There’s more.”
“More?” She turned the page, excited to see her life from his perspective. He’d drawn himself in the hallway outside her classroom. He was leaning back, one ear oversized, one foot off the floor, as if he’d stopped midstride, and peered into the room with hearts in his eyes. The next page showed her standing beside the table after class, arms crossed, a serious look on her face, her foot tapping the floor. She laughed, sure she had seemed that nervous and stern.
“I must have come across like I had a stick up my butt.”
“You are the most intriguing woman I know, and you do not appear to have a stick up your very fine ass. Don’t apologize for being you. I happen to like you very much.”
She tucked that sweetness away and turned another page. He’d drawn them sitting in the cafeteria having coffee. There was a place card in the center of the table that read First Non-Date. He’d drawn gears in Talia’s head and had made them shades of red, as if they were churning.
She glanced at him, and he motioned for her to turn the page. She did and found the drawing his father had been looking at. She and Derek were lying in the snow side by side, hearts in their eyes, their fingers inches apart as Molly licked his face. He’d written, Meant to Be? with stars in the sky.
A dreamy sigh slipped out. “Derek, this is beautiful and more romantic than anything I could ever imagine. Thank you.”
“I look forward to adding more to it.” He set the journal on the coffee table and gathered her in his arms.
He was so close, her lips parted with anticipation.
“You deserve a world of romance, Talia, and to be surrounded by beauty.” He nipped at her lower lip, and her pulse spiked. “I may not be rich,” he said in a husky voice, thick with desire, “and I don’t have endless hours to woo you with extravagance.”
His hands moved into her hair, angling her head back so he could taste her neck. And taste he did, with long, slow, openmouthed kisses that made her toes curl as he lowered her to her back. Who needs trips when your touch transports me to the most heavenly places? His weight pressed down on her in all the best places as he lavished her with kisses. His lips brushed over her skin like whispers, and she wanted to capture every one of them.
His teeth grazed the shell of her ear, and he said, “But I’ll give you every stolen second I can squeeze out of my day and sexy nights when we can sneak them in.”
He drove her to the brink of madness with his magnificent mouth, kissing and licking, nipping at her lips and neck until she was barely breathing, much less thinking. His hands moved confidently, aggressively, groping her breasts and hips, making her wild with anticipation as she clawed at his arms and back, wanting so much more of him.
He pinned her in place with a seductive stare. “I want to touch you, Talia. Taste you. Make you lose control.”
Yes, please, yes. The plea echoed in her head, but she was too lost in him to force a sound. He dragged his tongue over her lower lip, and she arched up, trying again to capture a kiss. A wicked smile appeared on his face, taunting and challenging and somehow also comforting. The safety she felt with him was beyond anything she’d ever known.
“Most importantly,” he said as he caressed her cheek, “I can give you honesty. I’m a man you can trust not to hurt you.”
“Yes,” finally sailed desperately from her lips.
As if her plea severed his last restraint, Derek’s mouth crashed over hers, smothering her in a penetrating kiss. Her hips bolted off the cushions, and she tugged at his shirt, bit his jaw, his lips, every nip driving his arousal higher. He devoured her with the recklessness of a man who didn’t have his ailing father in the next room and knew he needed to get them behind closed doors, stat.
He didn’t try to explain, didn’t say a word as he pushed to his feet and lifted Talia into his arms. She gasped, clinging to him as he strode toward his bedroom.
“Your dad?” Talia asked in a shaky voice.
Closing his bedroom door behind them, he lowered her to her feet in the moonlit room. “There’s an alarm on his door. I’ll hear it if he gets up.” He took her face between his hands, soaking in the sensuality brimming in her eyes. “I can’t resist you, Talia, but if you need me to slow down, just tell me. I’ll always listen.”
Holding his steady gaze, she toed off her shoes, peeled off her sweater, and dropped it at her feet. “Your turn,” she said with the sexiest smile he’d ever seen.
“Christ, baby, you’re gorgeous.”
He took off his shoes and tugged off his shirt, barely able to contain his desire. They came together with the urgency of a starving couple taking their last meal as he stripped off her bra, sending it floating to the floor. Her breasts pressed against his bare chest as he claimed her in another smoldering kiss that made his cock throb and his thoughts scatter. They stumbled to the bed, and he tore back the covers and came down over her as they kissed, unwilling to break their connection. It had been so long since he’d been driven by more than the need for release, he was overwhelmed by the emotions engulfing him. He wanted to take her, taste her, memorize every glorious inch from her fingertips to her toes, but fuck . . . He was desperate to bury himself deep inside her and feel her sweetness all around him.
He kissed her jaw, down her neck, slowing to slick his tongue over the rapid pulse beating there, and sealed his mouth over it, giving a single hard suck. A long, sensual moan streamed from her lips, spurring him on. He tasted his way down her chest, her fingernails digging into his shoulders as he teased her with slow strokes of his tongue around the taut peak of first one beautiful breast and then the other. She arched against his mouth, breathing harder as he devoured her. He lingered in the valley of her cleavage, drunk on her feminine scent, the heat of her skin, the feel of her nails digging into him. He kissed a path lower, between her ribs, his hands playing over every inch of her flesh, slowing to worship the dip at her waist and savoring the gentle swell between her hips as he worked open the button of her jeans. He lowered the zipper and hooked his fingers in the waistband. She lifted her hips, allowing him to drag the jeans lower. He took his time, kissing her thighs as he stripped the jeans down to her knees and sealed his mouth over her inner thigh, sucking hard enough to leave a mark.
“Derek,” she pleaded, her hips rising off the mattress.
“Too hard?” he asked.
Her head thrashed from side to side. “I need more.”
“I do, too, babe. I won’t leave you hanging.”
He slicked his tongue all the way up to the seam of her panties and then he blew on the wetness. She shuddered beneath him, clutching at the sheets as she struggled against the confines of her jeans. He placed his hands over hers, pressing them into the mattress as he sank his teeth into her panties and dragged them down her hip. She lifted and wiggled, helping him as he repeated the taunt on the other side, revealing a tuft of dark curls and leaving the thin silk just low enough to cover her entrance. He proceeded to tease all around her sex, earning one needy whimper after another. He slid his tongue over her damp curls, along the sides of her sex, inhaling her intoxicating scent. When he pushed his tongue beneath the thin material, taking his first taste of her, heat streaked to his cock, sending a surge of lust through his veins. She moaned, rocking her hips as he teased her drenched sex. He pressed his tongue over her clit, moving in a quick rhythm until she was trembling, pleading at the brink of release.
“Derek,” she whispered breathily. “Please!”
He tore off her jeans and panties, spread her legs, and sealed his mouth over the very heart of her.
“Oh! Oh!” She grabbed his head, rocking against his mouth. “Yes! Yes!” she cried in harsh whispers. “Harder! Oh—”
Her eyes slammed shut, and her head thrashed as he held her at the peak, her body shuddering around his tongue. He stayed with her until the very last quiver. Then he moved swiftly up her body, rocking his hard length against her entrance, and claimed her in a rough kiss. She hesitated, and he drew back and wiped her sweetness from his face, then recaptured her glorious mouth. She was right there with him, meeting every eager stroke of his tongue with one of her own, fisting her hand in his hair, and rocking against his hard length. He longed to be inside her, to feel her come apart in his arms, but first . . .
“Open your eyes, baby.” Despite her encouraging pleas, she was his careful girl. He knew they were flying at breakneck speed and he needed to be sure she wouldn’t regret anything they did. He didn’t want to give her any reason not to trust him, and he needed to see that trust in her eyes.
When they fluttered open, he saw the answer before he even asked the question.
“Hey, there.” He brushed feathery kisses over her lips. “Just making sure we’re together in this.”
“As long as it doesn’t end up in my journal,” she said softly.
“You don’t want to remember our first time together?”
“I do, but I love the journal. I might want to share it,” she said cautiously.
“Okay, I promise to be covert,” he said, knowing he’d leave this out if she hated the drawing that was already forming in his mind. He never wanted to forget his beautiful girl saying, Your turn.
“I trust you,” she said.
Hearing those words took his breath away—and let another dose of reality in. A dose he had to share. “I want to make love to you more than I want my next breath. But we can’t spend the night together. It might throw my father off if he sees you in the morning.” He caressed her cheek and said, “We can wait until we have the chance to wake up in each other’s arms.”
“I already assumed that, and I’m still here. I don’t want to wait.”
“Talia . . .” His voice trailed off, because there were no more words to be said, only feelings to share, emotions to capture. He kissed her tenderly before stepping from the bed and stripping off his clothes. She watched him boldly, her cheeks pinking up as his erection sprang free.
As he reached into his drawer for a condom, she touched his hand. “Hold me first?”
It was the sweetest thing he’d ever experienced. All his protective urges surged forth as he set the condom on the bed and took her in his arms. His cock lay on her damp curls as they kissed and embraced, her softness molding to his hard frame. He didn’t know how long they remained in the blissful state of unity, but it was long enough that he felt everything change, and he realized it didn’t take the act of making love for them to become one.
He drew back, brushing kisses over her lips and cheeks, and his heart came tumbling out. “Is it possible to fall for someone in a matter of days? Hours? Or am I alone in feeling like we’ve found something so incredible, it’s surreal?”
“It’s real,” she said without hesitation, and their mouths came together, sealing their words.
He sheathed himself between ravenous kisses and aligned their bodies as he took her in his arms again, cradling, protecting, and giving her all of himself. They gazed into each other’s eyes as their bodies came together so perfectly, he was once again swept away.
He touched his forehead to hers and said, “So real . . .”
They found their rhythm and followed it all the way to the end of the rainbow.
They lay together afterward, bodies intertwined, hands and mouths still exploring, even as they drifted in and out of sleep. When Talia moved to leave the bed, he tightened his grip and kissed her temple. “I don’t want to let you go.”
“I can’t stay,” she said, soft and sated.
For the first time since his father’s diagnosis, he felt the full weight of his commitment and wished he weren’t bound by the immense responsibilities so she could stay with him and he could wake up tomorrow and make love to her again. Have breakfast together like a normal couple.
Those thoughts were followed by a wave of guilt so big he had a hard time climbing out from under it. And then he realized he had another bomb to drop. This was his life. He forced the longing and disappointment aside, and when that didn’t work, he kicked the motherfucking emotion as far away as he could.
“Babe, my dad has a doctor’s appointment tomorrow. I can’t come to your class. Save notes for me?”
A sweet laugh fell from her lips. “You don’t have to feign interest in my class.”
“I’ll never feign a thing with you. I meant it.” He kissed her again. “Maria’s here for a few hours in the morning. I’ll text, and if you’re free I’ll come by.”
“Sounds perfect.”
She touched his ring, a question hanging in her eyes.
“It was my mother’s.” He twisted the thick vintage-looking gold band with the engraved floral pattern and three tiny inset emeralds. “My father gave it to me after she died.”
“I love that you wear it. And the bracelets?” She touched the beaded and leather bands around his wrist.
“These were my father’s. I can’t remember him ever not wearing them. Usually with Alzheimer’s the oldest memories go last, but for some reason, he wanted these off one day, and he never let me put them back on.”
“I like them.”
“I like you, Tallie girl.” He pressed his lips to hers, hating that he was so aware of their time together ticking by.
“Tallie girl . . . ?” she whispered.
“You mind?”
She shook her head. “I’ve never been anything but Talia or Tal. I like it.”
“You’re my Tallie girl . . .”
After some time, they reluctantly climbed from the bed. He helped her dress and tugged on his jeans. The walk to the front door felt like a walk down the plank. What kind of man made a woman leave after being so close? Another wave of guilt crashed over him.
He drew her into his arms and said, “I hate that you have to leave and that I can’t drive you home and walk you to your door.”
“We both knew how tonight would end.”
“You’re incredible. Thank you for understanding. Did you ever imagine you’d go out with a man who had a curfew?”
“To be honest, I had a hard time imagining myself going out with anyone.”
“Then why me?”
She went up on her toes and touched her lips to his. “First it was your eyes, and then your honesty and humor. But your heart sealed the deal with Team Grant.”