Izzy
What just happened?
Her arms felt like lead and she couldn’t open her eyes.
She counted to ten, then twenty, then fifty before she finally forced herself out of the bed and into the shower. The entire time she wavered between berating herself for needing Tanner so badly and reveling in the warmth still lingering on her skin from his touch. She couldn’t help but avoid eye contact with herself in the mirror while she blow-dried her hair, certain she wouldn’t like whatever she saw reflected back.
She tugged on a pair of cut-off denim shorts and a blue tank top and let her gaze travel down the length of her body with a sigh. Maybe she wasn’t trying hard enough. Maybe she should start wearing sexier clothes, making sure her makeup was flawless, and doing something with her long brown hair besides throwing it in a ponytail.
Maybe then Tanner would be home more.
Maybe then he wouldn’t have wanted someone else.
Maybe.
Ava’s giggles coming from the kitchen pulled Izzy from the migraine-inducing thoughts as she trudged down the stairs. She leaned against the entryway to the kitchen and grinned. Tanner had swept Ava off her feet into a bear hug and was smacking kisses on her cheeks.
“Daddy! Your beard tickles!” She barely gasped the words out through her laughter.
Tanner unceremoniously plopped her on the stool before leaving one more kiss on her cheek and ruffling Noah’s hair. “You realize that Daddy only does round pancakes right? None of this hearts and stars stuff. Mommy is in charge of being creative.”
“Oh, I am, huh?” Izzy playfully called out.
A smirk settled on Tanner’s face as he looked up from the batter he was pouring in the pan long enough to throw her a wink. “Well, good morning, sweetheart.”
She couldn’t help the pink that crept onto her face and was grateful the kids were young enough not to pick up on it. She crossed the kitchen to stand next to him and dropped her voice, hoping Ava and Noah would be so wrapped up in their chatter they’d ignore their parents. “We need to talk, Tanner. About that. About this morning.”
His smile faltered for the briefest of moments as he flipped the pancakes. He nodded to the kids and flicked his gaze over to her before fixing it on the pan in front of him again. “Yeah, but…later? Besides, I need to ask you something.”
Izzy frowned slightly. Okay, talking about their two mind-blowing encounters—and all the reasons they would not be happening again for at least a little while—would have to wait until the kids were out of the room, but she wasn’t sure she liked the look on Tanner’s face. “About?”
He pointed the spatula at a piece of paper with a streak of ketchup across the top. “I dropped your favorite knife in the trash accidentally and I found that when I was digging it out. Why aren’t you going, Belle?”
She picked up the flyer and quickly scanned over the advertisement for the painting night fundraiser for Noah’s baseball team. “It’s on a Wednesday night,” she stated matter-of-factly before crumpling the paper and tossing it back into the trash can.
“And?” Tanner carried the pan over to the island and slid a pancake on each of the two plates, barely pulling back before the kids doused them in syrup and practically inhaled them.
Izzy rolled her eyes. “And,” she exaggerated the single word, “it starts at five o’clock. What will I do with the kids?”
He set the pan back on the stove, poured enough batter in for three more pancakes, and turned to her with a grin and a mischievous glint in his eyes. “Hi, my name is Tanner. I’m their father and sometimes can be considered a responsible adult.”
She failed at keeping a smile from covering her face. “Nice to meet you, Tanner, and those are very true facts, but at four o’clock in the afternoon on a Wednesday, when I need to leave, you’ll be in the office. Talking to someone in California. Or Beijing.”
“Nope.” He flipped one of the pancakes. “Beijing is twelve hours ahead, so it would be four in the morning there. Plus, I’ll come home early so you can go.”
Izzy’s teeth clamped down on her bottom lip, and she leaned the small of her back against the counter beside Tanner. “Why?”
Her heart began to race when the supremely confident smirk slipped back in place on Tanner’s face. He braced his hands on the counter on either side of her, standing just far enough away that they didn’t touch but close enough to feel the heat radiating off his body. She folded her arms over her chest to disguise his effect on her and simultaneously prevent her hands from reaching out to pull him closer.
His head bent down close to hers, but he stopped a whisper away from her mouth. “Because I think you want to go, but you’d never ask.” His breath tickled her lips as he spoke the words in a low tone. “Because I’m fairly certain you’d create a masterpiece. And because I’d love nothing more than to steal it and hang it in my office.”
A chill ran down her spine and she couldn’t help shivering. Tanner’s grin widened as he stepped back and put the pancakes on a plate, holding it up to her. “Here ya go, sweetheart.”
The entire day, Izzy couldn’t help but marvel at the normalcy. Tanner hadn’t planned any crazy date nights and there were no surprises waiting in the wings. But several rounds of various games, a dinner of hot dogs roasted over a fire, and early bedtimes for two exhausted kids later, Izzy found herself sitting on a log, snuggling close to Tanner and feeling completely at peace.
His arm wrapped around her shoulders and pulled her even closer. He kissed the top of her head softly. “Belle, I-I just wanted to ask, I mean, I just want to be sure…”
She picked her head up from his shoulder, watching the flickering lights from the fire dance over Tanner’s face. His uncharacteristic apprehensive tone caused warmth to spread through her chest.
“Where do you want me to sleep tonight?”
Izzy slid onto his lap, and his body relaxed around hers. “The same place I always want you to sleep, Tanner. Next to me.”
***
The container of ketchup slid across the shelf in the refrigerator and bumped against the back wall. Izzy slammed the door shut and wiped an angry tear from her eyes.
The red numbers of the digital clock on the stove mocked her as it ticked off another minute.
This morning Tanner had promised her he’d be home by eight. When eight had come and gone, she called his office and he assured her that he would be home before nine. Now it was after ten o’clock. The meatloaf was ice cold, the mashed potatoes were congealed into a sticky paste, and the green beans had shriveled.
Finally, after she had put away the last part of the meal, she heard the click of the door being unlocked. Just as Tanner rounded the corner into the kitchen, she blew out the candles.
“Uhhh.” His eyes darted from the mostly melted lumps of wax to the bottle of wine on the counter before finally resting on her face. “Did I forget something, sweetheart?”
Izzy rolled her eyes as she brushed past him. “No, Tanner. Not at all.”
His hand closed around her upper arm. “Talk to me. Don’t walk away.”
She pulled out of his grasp and took three steps away from him. “Talk to you? When, Tanner? I’m doing my student teaching the entire day so I can graduate in two months and then I come home and do my lesson planning at night. You spend your mornings in the classroom and your nights in that little office space your dad leased for you that was supposed to help you be home more.” She threw her hands in the air. “I don’t ever see you to talk to you.”
He closed his eyes and leaned his head back. “Do you honestly think I want to be gone this much?” When he finally opened his eyes to look at her, the exhaustion evident there was tinged with anger and she felt a pang of guilt. “Do you think I want to spend six hours a day sitting in a classroom and another ten learning how to run the company? Exactly what part of all of this sounds like fun to you?”
Izzy folded her arms across her chest and frowned. Any sympathy she felt when she saw the dark circles under his eyes quickly disappeared. “And what part of this do you think is fun for me? Tanner, you promised you’d be home by eight. Then nine. It’s nearly eleven now.”
His hand slammed against the wall, and she jumped at the sound. “I’m working to build a future for us! To make sure I don’t bankrupt the company and destroy everything my dad built over the past twenty-five years. I’m going to be in charge of the entire company in just a few years, and I am going to have fifty employees on top of my family counting on me to do things right. Don’t you understand, Belle?”
She stepped in front of him and poked a finger in his chest. “I understand that unless you start spending just a little more time with me, there isn’t going to be an us to build a future for.”
The color drained from his face. “Do you mean that?”
“I-I-I…” She stammered as the words she said solely out of anger sank in.
“Dammit, Belle, do you mean it?” He grabbed the finger that was still resting against his chest and held her hand close to his heart. His voice sounded strained and hoarse. “Do you mean you want to leave me? To give up on us?”
She licked her suddenly dry lips. “It means I don’t want to be alone in a relationship.”
Before he could respond, she pulled her hand free from his and ran into the bedroom. She closed the door and slid down it in tears.
The questions he asked echoed in her mind. Did she mean it? Did she want to break up with him because he was working too much?
By the time her tears finally slowed, her head was throbbing and her back hurt from the uncomfortable seat against the door. She crawled between the sheets, not bothering to take off her t-shirt and jeans. She pulled his pillow close and took a deep breath of the cedarwood and musk scent that clung to it.
Just before she drifted off, the door creaked open and the bed dipped beside her. She couldn’t help but breathe a sigh of relief knowing Tanner was lying next to her. Without a second thought, she turned and cuddled into his arms, resting her cheek against the soft cotton of his shirt. “Nobody leaves?”
He kissed the top of her head softly. “Nobody leaves,” he affirmed.