2014 - Santana
“They’ve seen us,” Mack mutters, pacing the hotel room.
I’m on the bed, my hands clutching Pippa’s. She’s watching Mack and Tyke, confusion flickering across her face as he rambles and storms across the room. He’s not happy with the plan, to say the least, but there’s really no other choice. They need to think we’re alone, that we’ve got no backup.
“That’s the point,” Tyke mutters from the couch. He’s leaning forward, his elbows on his knees, watching Mack pace.
“Don’t fuckin’ care,” Mack barks. “I don’t like this fuckin’ plan. They could bring ten or twenty men, maybe even fuckin’ more. Then what hope have we got? We’ll have our brains blown out before we can move.”
“They won’t kill us,” I say, my voice scratchy, my throat sore.
Mack shoots me a glare. “What makes you think that?”
“They want us as slaves, if they wanted to kill us they would have done it right away. We’re worth more to them alive.”
Mack shakes his head, contemplating this. “Possibly, but we can’t just risk it and assume we’re right. We could get ambushed at any moment.”
Pippa makes a strangled sound and her eyes dart around the room.
“Must you!” I snap, tired, terrified and sensitive.
Mack storms forward. “We wouldn’t even be in this fuckin’ mess if it wasn’t for you and your family. I don’t fuckin’ care if what I’m saying bothers you. I could lose the only fuckin’ family I’ve ever had because of you,” he roars so loudly I flinch.
I stare at him, my heart breaking in half, my lip trembling. I’ve held it together, I’ve stayed strong, I’ve forgiven Maddox for what he did and I’ve gotten my sister back...but my fault? No...no way. I let go of Pippa’s hand and stand on shaky legs. Giving Mack a look that tells him just how much he broke me, I turn and disappear into the bathroom.
I’m not going to yell and scream, or carry on. What will it prove? My heart aches so badly I can’t afford any more pain. I lower down onto the floor, the cool tiles causing my leg to ache when I stretch it out on them. Tears break lose and spill over, running down my cheeks. It fucking burns.
If I lose Maddox, the only man I’ve loved with all my heart, I’ll never recover. I don’t know what’s happening to him. I don’t know if he’s okay. I don’t even know if I’ll ever see him again. That thought alone has a sob ripping from my throat. I can be strong, but I can’t stand the thought of losing him.
The door creaks, but I don’t look up. A small frame pops down beside me, her tiny arms going around me. Together we cry, both of us living with our own demons. By the time our tears are dried up, the sun has begun to go down. Which means the guys will be here soon.
“Tell me about him?” Pippa asks, her voice low and soft.
I smile at her, my lips trembling.
“He saved me. He picked me up when I passed out on the mission Kennedy sent me on. I woke with him. He took care of me for five years.”
“Did he tell you about me?” she asks.
I swallow, shaking my head. “He told me you were dead. I only recently found out about you being alive. He was trying to search, for years he got leads and lost them. He said he was protecting me...I was in a bad way. I’m so sorry, Pippa. I should have been there...I shouldn’t have believed-”
“No,” she says, her voice the strongest it’s been since we found her. “He gave you a gift, Santana. I saw you; I saw what was happening. You weren’t there; you had gone. He’s right...he was protecting you. You would have come after me, I know you would have...and you would have gotten killed.”
“I thought you were dead,” I say, my voice breaks and a ragged sob tears from my throat.
“I’m okay,” she says, her own voice breaking once more. “They didn’t hurt me, because I always did what I was told. I never fought. What was the point? Until I found another way, that was my life. I worked hard, I was hungry, but mostly...I was safe.”
“You were a slave for five years while I was living with a man, having a good, solid life!” I cry, clenching my fists.
“You didn’t know. How could you have known? He told you I was dead, and I’m glad he did. You laid your life on the line so many times for me. You kept me alive; you protected me. You deserved five years of happiness, because Tana, you gave me more than that...”
I wrap my arms around her, holding her close, thanking God for bringing her back to me.
“I’m never letting you go again.”
She laughs hoarsely. “I don’t think I’ll be in a hurry to let you lose me again.”
We laugh brokenly together and then pull apart.
“Do you love him, Tana?”
I swallow down more tears, and nod. “I do, very much.”
She squeezes my hand. “Tell me about them...”
“The club?”
She nods.
I smile.
“They’re the best family...not better than Mom and Dad of course, but they’re so loyal. They drive you crazy, but they’d lie down and die for you. I adore all of them.”
“Do you think...do you think...” she looks away.
“They’re going to love you, honey,” I soothe. “I promise.”
There’s a knock at the door that has us both looking up. Mack comes in, his face regretful.
“Mind if I have a chat with Santana?” he asks, his eyes trained on Pippa.
She nods, standing. I give her a weak smile and watch as she leaves. Mack hesitates at the door, but with a sigh, steps in and crouches in front of me.
“I don’t do this a lot...I don’t even fuckin’ know how, but...” he runs a hand through his hair. “I fucked up, Santana. This ain’t your fault – I’d do the same thing for a woman I loved. Maddox made the choice to take care of you and put his time and effort into looking for your sister. I can’t judge him for that, and I sure as shit can’t judge you. So...I’m sorry.”
I stare up at him, my eyes softening. I reach out, clutching his hand. “I know.”
He closes his eyes for a minute, and then in a raspy voice he mutters, “I’m scared. So fuckin’ scared. He’s all I’ve got...”
His voice breaks and my heart goes right along with it. Maddox is everything to Mack. He’s the only family he’s got. I know how much he means to him, and how close the brothers are. They’ve got the kind of bond that even some blood related brothers don’t have. Mack drops down to his knees, his head bowed.
“We’re going to get him back,” I say, taking his other hand. “We’re going to fight this.”
He seems to gather himself, because when he looks up, the emotion is gone from his face. Mack has always struggled with emotion, and he finds it hard to let people see the real man that’s inside.
“Come on, you need to eat and so does Pippa. Then we’re going to find out where the guys are. It’s time to end this.”
He helps me up and we head back out into the room. Pippa is sitting on the bed, having a shy conversation with Tyke. I smile and sit down beside her. My leg is aching, but I’m not going to be a cry baby and whine about it. I’ll survive. Mack lifts the phone that’s in the room, and puts it to his ear, turning to us.
“What do you girls want?”
I turn to Pippa and her cheeks grow pink.
“Is there something you want?” I ask her.
“There is...I’ve dreamed about it for so many years.”
I nod in encouragement.
“A cheeseburger,” she admits.
Tyke laughs and even Mack cracks a smile.
“Two cheeseburgers,” I say to Mack.
He turns and orders four, one for each of us. The food arrives only twenty minutes later. I’m hungry, but after four or five bites, I can’t stomach the heavy beef, cheese and bread. It would seem I’m the only one. Pippa devours hers like a starving child and of course, the men gobble it down in a few big bites.
Then Mack makes the call.
“You in?” I hear him ask.
He nods a few times.
“Morning, night attack is too dangerous. We shoot the wrong fuckers and we’ll pay for it.”
Oh God.
“No, don’t come here. We need them to keep thinkin’ we’re alone. I’m goin’ to leave the girls with Tyke then I’m goin’ to sneak out, there’s a back entrance. I’ll ring you and we’ll go in.”
My stomach coils - that cheeseburger threatening to come back up.
“Stay low, I’ll call first thing.”
Then he hangs up. Turning to me, his eyes are full of fear, tension, rage and...if I’m correct...pain.
“Is it all ready?” I ask.
He nods. “We’re set.”
“What if...what if they’re expecting you? What if you don’t make it out? What if-”
Stepping forward, his hands shoot out and curl around my shoulders. He shakes me, just slightly, making my mouth snap closed.
“What if’s are only going to cause problems. We don’t have time for what if’s. I’m goin’ to get those guys out of there, no matter what it costs me.”
“Mack-”
“They’re all I’ve got, Santana. Nothing will stop this.”
I nod, even though fear has curled itself around me, choking, suffocating...
“What now?” I ask, my voice low.
“Now we wait.”
~*~*~*~
Mack leaves the moment the sun is up and the call comes in. I’ve felt fear in my life, but watching him sneak out is up there with some of the scariest moments. We watch from our window as he creeps past the pool and gardens. He has to go down the back, over the fence and through the trees a long while before he makes it out onto the road. He needs to get far enough away that they won’t see him exit.
I hugged him eight times. A full eight. I smothered my tears, staying strong. He needs me to be strong. He needs us all to be strong. I’ve said more prayers in the past twenty-four hours then I’ve said in a lifetime. Over and over I’ve prayed for the guys, but mostly, I’ve prayed for Maddox. I’ve tried not to dwell, but there’s no switching my brain off.
He’s everything.
Tyke sits beside me, squeezing my hand. He’s got guns readily available in case these guys decide to bombard us. I really hope that doesn’t happen. We’re hoping that as long as we’re in here, they’ll think we’re plotting. I’ve got Tyke’s cell phone clutched in my hand, waiting for the text from Mack.
Thirty minutes later it comes.
M – I’m out.
I breathe a sigh of relief, but it lasts only a second.
This is just the beginning.