Chapter Thirteen
“Seriously, dad,” Jordan said as he ushered James toward the door. “I’ll be fine.”
Quentin quickly stole one last kiss from James before the writer nodded and agreed.
“I’ll have lunch with Beth, then try getting some research done on my next book,” James said. “Call if you need me—both of you.”
“We will.” Quentin agreed.
With James finally gone, the reality of what was really happening dawned on Quentin. He was alone with a teenager who, if he had anything to say about it, would be his son one day. That thought both terrified and excited him. After all, Quentin never thought he’d ever be a father. It wasn’t hard to fall for Jordan. The teenager was intelligent, asked questions that showed Jordan wasn’t afraid to look foolish. Quentin liked that—he respected a man who didn’t know something set about learning.
Together, with Tanjay’s help, they got everything set up and soon, both Quentin and Jordan were in the booth. Quentin wasn’t really expecting anything too spectacular. This session was mostly for Jordan, for them to do something together. But when Jordan opened his mouth, Quentin had to stop everything.
“Whoa!” Quentin said. “How? Where did that voice come from?”
“I did it wrong, didn’t I?”
Quentin shook his head. “Jordan! You’re amazing!”
“Really?”
He nodded. “Let’s do the whole song, then you can hear it. I promise you.”
Even though in shock, they recorded a song called Bondage. It was a tune about being held captive by depression. Jordan’s voice lent a melody to the tune that both broke and repaired his heart. When they were finished, Tanjay and Jordan headed out to pick up some food. When they returned, Tanjay set up the food. The three of them listened to the song while eating—they listened to it three times before anyone spoke.
“Wow, Jordan,” Tanjay’s voice cracked. “Just—wow.”
“See?” Quentin asked. “I told you. You’re good at this. Maybe, one day, you and TJ can do a duet together. They’re always looking for songs for charity if you don’t want the money.”
“That would be too cool!” Jordan’s cheeks flushed. “I want to hear what my dad thinks about it though.”
“We’ll give him a listen later.” Quentin promised.
“You two are awesome but I have a date with mom.” Tanjay dropped a kiss to the side of Quentin’s head. “Jordan, see you later. And that duet thing—Rin Tin may have a point there.”
Jordan nodded. “See you.”
Quentin walked Tanjay out to his car.
“One last time, big brother,” Tanjya said, dropping his backpack on the back seat of his car. “You’re sure you know what you’re doing?”
“Why? Don’t you like James and Jordan?”
“I like James. He’s a nice guy and Jordan is amazing but this is your life. I want you to be happy with whatever decision you make.” Tanjay dragged a hand over his head. “I want you to go into this with your eyes open. Jordan is a teenager. He’s been through some stuff. Are you prepared for that?”
Quentin exhaled, leaned his back against Tanjay’s car and crossed his arms over his chest. “James asked me the same thing.” He turned his gaze across the street to where a luxury apartment sat with suits going in and out. “I’m scared, okay? I’m not going to lie. But just because something terrifies me doesn’t mean I shouldn’t try. Tan, do you know what it feels like to have someone who does things to your soul simply by looking at you? And when he drags his finger down the middle of your back you can’t help the way your…”
“Are you saying you’re in love with this man?”
“It’s too soon for that.” Quentin returned his gaze to his brother. “But, I’m curious about what we could be for each other. I’ve spent so long looking for love and wanting a man to wants me at least half as much as I would him.”
“And James…”
“Yes.”
“Rin Tin, you didn’t even think about that.”
“I didn’t have to.” Quentin exhaled. “James and I have this understanding. We know we’re both flying blind. But, we know what we want. Want to be happy. We want Jordan to have fathers who love him and want the best for him.”
“What do you want?”
“I want James, my own family, you and mami to be proud of me.”
“I’m proud of you. And have you met mami?”
Quentin smiled.
“You know I had to ask.” Tanjay hugged Quentin. “I’m your brother and whether you want to believe me or not, I love you. If you’re happy with this man and his son, then I’ll have your back. But if he hurts you—I’ll kill him.”
Quentin kissed the side of Tanjay’s head. “I love you too. Go to mami before she puts out an APB on you and your car.”
“She would do it too.” Tanjay laughed.
Quentin accepted a pat on this shoulder then watched as his brother pulled out of the parking lot and merged into New York traffic. He went back to Jordan and the two of them listened to the song before saving a copy and leaving the studio.
“You know the story about my dad and I?” Jordan asked once they were settled into the ride to Beth’s place.
“About Felix and Marie? Yes.”
“I think he still blames himself.”
“And you don’t?”
Jordan sighed loudly. “No. I mean, I was at first, you know?”
“Mhmm.”
“But, you’ve spent time with him,” Jordan said. “Does he seem like the man who would knowingly walk away from his kid—sperm donation or not?”
Quentin shook his head. “No. Not at all.”
“That’s what I’m saying. I think, dad genuinely thought Marie loved him back the same way he loved her. He, for real thought this woman would be a great mother and her husband would be a good dad. And he actually thought they would stay close so he could be in my life. I see it this way. He wanted me, maybe more than they wanted me. So, he helped. How could I fault him for that?”
“You shouldn’t. And I understand how painful it must have been when he walked in after all these years. Jordan, I may only have known your father for a little while, but he’s a good guy. Trust me, I’ve been around some shady characters.”
Jordan laughed.
“And, James is one of the good ones.”
“I know. Thanks for listening.”
“You’re welcome.”
“You know—if you and dad got married, you’d be my dad too.”
Quentin coughed. “I figured.”
“Are you ready for that? I mean, you’re pretty young.”
“Well, there is only one way to find out.” Quentin checked his mirrors and switched lanes. “But we have a ways to go before we can decide on that. The thing is, your father and I are trying to build something. He strives to put you first, as he should, so we’re moving slowly.”
“Do you want to move faster?”
Quentin smiled. “No. I’m happy with the way things are going right now. I’m amazed by your father—the way he jumped into fatherhood—the way he obviously loves you. How can I walk away from a man like that?”
Jordan was silent for a bit. “You can’t—you shouldn’t. I promise not to get in the way, okay?”
“Jordan—you’re never in the way. The more I can get to know you, the better James and I will be. Don’t put our relationship on your shoulders. We’re adults and we’ll figure out our crap. I know I can speak for James when I say, he just wants you to be a kid, be a teenager. Promise me, you’ll be a kid now.”
“I promise.”
“Good. Now, let’s go see the gang.”
“Woo!”
It took a little bit longer than it should but Quentin drove them to Beth’s house. It was strange being there since he had yet to be introduced to James’ sister. Still, he waited until Jordan knocked.
In no time at all, James opened the door and before Quetin could get even a kiss, Jordan was already talking and leading James back into the house.
“Come in, Quentin,” James called. “Close the door.”
That was the last thing he heard before James and Jordan disappeared into the house. Quentin smiled and did as James asked. He removed his shoes and followed the corridor until he stepped into an open concept kitchen that was seriously gorgeous. But James and Jordan were nowhere to be seen.
“You must be Quentin.”
He turned around. He would know Beth anywhere. Her eyes were as bright as James described and her smile filled the room with warmth. “And you must be Beth.”
She nodded and shook his hand. “Yes. I take it James has claimed me as his sister?”
Quentin laughed. “That he did.”
“Good.” She went around to the fridge and opened it. “I have cheesecake.”
“You’re my new favorite person.”
“Man, you’re easy.” She teased, while carrying a cake dome to the island.
Quentin crinkled his nose. “True. But not cheap.”
“See, that sounds like something my brother would say.”
“Where is your brother?”
“Probably with his son and niece in the den. He told me you and Jordan were making a song. How did that go?”
“Very good.”
She set cake before him with a fork. Without waiting, Quentin cut a piece of the cake off and set it on his tongue. A moan escaped his lips as the flavor filled his senses.
“He’s a really good singer,” Quentin said after a moan. “This is so good—could I have another piece?”
“Sure.” Beth shared him a second slice. “I’m glad he has you and James. That boy has been through hell from what I heard. I’m glad he’s home. Ellie, my daughter, is over the moon to have a cousin. I was a bit worried about their relationship but Jordan is fantastic with her.”
“He’s a good kid. I could see that the first time I met him at the airport in Boise.”
Beth laughed. “Come on. Let’s take them cake. You wanna grab some forks from that cupboard drawer?”
“Sure.”
Together they headed from the open space and down a short corridor. They stepped into an office that looked more like a library than anything else. They found James lying on his back with a little brown haired girl sitting on his stomach. Jordan was sitting by James’ legs and they were playing the song again.
“There you are,” Quentin said.
“Hi,” Ellie waved.
“Hi, Ellie,” Quentin said. “I’m Quentin, a friend of your uncle James.”
Ellie tilted her head to stare at Quentin then looked down into James’ eyes. “Uncle Mac?”
“Yes, darling.”
“Mama told me you like boys.”
“Um—Yes, I do.”
“Is Quentin your boy?” Ellie continued.
The room went silent. Quentin held his breath then met James’ eyes. They danced at him and Quentin trembled from the promise he saw there. “Ellie, I don’t know if—”
“Yes, Ellie,” James’ voice was soft. “He is. What do you think of that?”
Ellie went silent. She looked very thoughtful. Her little brows creased. After what felt like an eternity, Ellie leaned in close to James’ face. “Will you still love me, Uncle Mac?”
In that moment, Quentin wanted to cry. It made him sad that she thought because he was in the picture, James wouldn’t love her anymore.
He watched as James cradled her tiny face in his large palms.
“My darling, my heart—there is nothing in this world that could stop me from loving you.” His voice cracked. “I will love you forever.”
“Mommy says forever is a long, long time,” she said.
“Precisely,” James said. “I will always, always love you.”
“Okay then.” Ellie perked up. “Then, I think it’s okay for you to have a boy.”
The room erupted in laughter.
“Thank you, my darling.” James hugged her.
A while later, Ellie and Jordan turned on a movie and Beth took a call from a business associate. Quentin took advantage of the time to cuddle with James on the back porch.