Mike

I step out of the bathroom and she’s not in the room. I guess I scared her enough. Good. Maybe she’ll decide to stay away from me so something like our kiss won’t happen again.

It’s her fault. She shouldn’t have grown up.

In fact, I shouldn’t have noticed she’d grown up.

I fall onto the mattress, removing the towel and tossing it over the radiator. My eyes search for the bottle of vodka, but I finally decide to get some sleep instead.

The bedside lamp fills the room with a dim light as I roll on my other side and rest my head against my forearm.

A visit in a whorehouse would do me good. Tomorrow I’ll go there, have two girls and lose myself if only for a moment.

Lizzie’s wide eyes flash through my head, followed by the dead faces of the people I killed. I’d killed Lizzie even though she’s alive, has the kind of life. But most of all, I killed the trust my club had in me. I don’t deserve to be around them even though they’re unaware of what I did.

A few memories of my marriage course through my head. A sense of failure fills my chest. I didn’t love her. I didn’t even try to love her. Maybe it’s my fault, not her bitchy attitude.

I check my phone. It’s 1 am. The house is quiet.

I sit on the bed, with one knee bent.

I feel so damn very lonely. Lonely like never before. I want someone to take this suffocating heaviness away from me if only for a moment.

No—

I want to fuck an attractive pussy my age. Two attractive pussies my age. Two experienced pussies.

I lie on my back and hold my hard cock. I stroke myself up and down, thinking of a wet cunt. I want to think of a whore’s cunt, but this is Daisy’s cunt I’m fucking in my mind. I’d have her on all fours. I’d push the thickest possible dildo into her pussy and I’d fuck her in the ass.

My body stiffens as a wave of liberating heat shoots to my toes and I cum with a growl.

Then I’m so fucking angry I want to kill.

I’ll get that little rat out of my head no matter what it takes.

Daisy

We settle ourselves around the table to have breakfast. My glance meets Mike’s who’s seated between my dad and Axel.

Gunner Junior piles the plate with food for Sol and fills her glass with apple juice. Our glances meet and he flashes me his cocky grin. I stifle the urge to stick my tongue out. He averts his eyes and his face softens the moment he looks at Sol. I could have sworn that he is still in love with her.

Sol leans towards Shay and whispers something into his ear. Those two will get married soon, I’m sure. The air of love surrounds them like a cloud.

I raise my eyes to meet Mike’s cold glance. My body shivers. I dip my spoon into my bowl, but nausea courses through my stomach.

“Hawk,” Axel says, “and Nikko. Take care of Mike’s bike.” His eyes bore through me. “And make sure no mysterious being punctures the tyre again.”

My dad winks at me and Rey rolls her eyes.

“Aye, sir,” the boys say with one voice.

“The others to church,” my dad says.

“Aye, Prez,” all the men say with one voice.

I love the tingle of crude seriousness when they’re the Shadow Wolves MC and my mom, grandmothers and aunties are their old ladies.

I want to be Mike’s old lady, but unfortunately he wants to kill me not marry me.

Shay leans towards me. “You okay, Birdie?”

“I’m fine, Shay,” I say. “Thanks.”

Shay is the kindest of my cousins. We’re not related by blood, but he is like my brother. He’s a better brother than my own brother, Tyler.

It seems like I’m Tyler’s enemy number one. We’ve been fighting since I remember.

I must admit he smashed a kid who kicked me when we were kindergarten age and he found me when I got lost in the graveyard at the age of seven.

“Visit us soon,” Shay says.

“I will, Shay,” I say.

“I have four new boxes of jigsaw puzzles.”

I chuckle. “Waiting patiently for yours and my attention?”

“Exactly.”

A delicate sense of loss surges through me like I’m eternal for one second, and I feel the urge to say something nice to Shay.

“Love you, Shay,” I say. “You’re my favourite cousin.”

He chuckles, strokes my head and kisses my temple. That’s how Shay is—gentle, caring, strong. No wonder Sol is in love with him.

“Sol is your favourite cousin,” he whispers into my ear, “but I won’t tell anyone.”

I chuckle as my eyes meet his—the blue eternity of his eyes. Pain squeezes my heart.

“Watch over yourself, Shay,” I say as my throat tightens.

“You need a drink, Birdie,” Shay says and tosses my hair.

He leans towards Sol and tosses her hair as well.

Mike

I finish eating and we walk to the basement where our office is situated. It’s separated with a thick metal door from the rest of the building and has blast resistant walls and the secret passage below the floor that stretches below the ground and opens up behind a wall of rock outside the house. In case the Voronin Bratva found us here. We spread out and take our seats around the table. The stone walls emit coldness and the posters of naked women peel off them. Our photos decorate the side table as the other metal door separates the armoury room from the office.

“The… the…” Zane starts.

“The reports,” Axel says for him.

Yes. It happens sometimes. Zane is in good shape but his brain may switch off from time to time. He had that brain damage years ago, but it’s much better now. It’s better with each year that passes.

“On my watch, everything is stable,” I say. “They’re searching for us, but we’re safe for now.” I inhale deeply. “Two corpses within this year.”

That’s the price for our survival. I had to silence two members of the Broken Crusaders MC, because they’d sniffed too much and had crossed my path.

“Jax?” Zane asks.

“No Voronins in my area,” Jax says. “Two growing up kids.” He nods several times and ties his blond hair on the back of his neck.

“Only club business,” Blaze reprimands him and shakes his head as the boys guffaw.

“Scotland clean and safe as well, Prez,” Boulder says.

“Cornwall clean,” Gunner Senior says. “One corpse this year.” His eyes fill with sadness.

He kills when necessary, but he’d prefer to keep our enemies alive in some prison to killing them.

“Spain clean,” Dimitri says.

“So go get drunk,” Zane says.

We bang our fists on the table and chant our enthusiasm.

I go out of the office, grab a sandwich from the kitchen and check on the kids repairing my bike. They’re doing great, so I leave them and drop onto the bench surrounded by rock formations like some sanctuary.

I breathe in the harsh air and peace fills me for a moment.

“Mike?” Daisy squeaks from my left.

I turn my head. “What?”

She shudders at the tone of my voice. “I… I…”

“I’m not gonna fucking talk to you. Go back to the house. I want to be in my own company now.”

She steps forward and it pisses me off so much I rise to my feet and clutch her shoulders. Her arms flap like the wings of a startled bird.

“Go back to the house,” I say through gritted teeth.

Daisy freezes then her lips part as her eyes widen and tears glitter on her cheeks. A ravenous animal growls inside of me. I inhale deeply and darkness spreads in my veins. The reality is all dream and we’re somewhere else. I bend my neck and close her mouth with mine. She sighs and slumps into my embrace. I’m holding her limp body and kissing her like it’s the end of the world. And I love every second of this kiss.

“You’re disgusting,” Sol rasps behind us, bringing some rationality to my head.

I push Daisy away. “Talk to your cousin. You’re friends. You should talk.”

“Okay,” Daisy says as consternation paints her face.

She bobs her head at me, her lips beautifully swollen from my kiss.

I turn to Sol and raise my finger. The little beast salutes me as a wide smile parts her lips.

“If you spill the beans, I’ll tell Axel about you and Shay,” I say.

Sol’s face turns as white as snow. She shudders and bobs her head at me.

I walk to the house.

Daisy

Sol bursts into laughter.

“Don’t tell anyone,” I say.

“Mike and you. Wow.” She puts her hands on the back of her neck. “Wow.”

“Please, don’t—“

“I won’t tell anyone. I don’t want any corpses to be on me.” She laughs and drops onto the bench. “And I don’t want my dad to break Shay’s nose.” Seriousness shadows her face.

I settle myself beside her. “Well—“

“He is so fucking handsome.” She throws her arm over my back. “Is it serious? It must be. When is the wedding?”

“Sol,” I groan. “We just kissed, that’s all.”

“He must kiss like a beast.” She rolls her eyes and laughs.

I see Shay walking towards us. He kneels in front of Sol and strokes her outer thigh with his palm.

“No men allowed,” Sol says as she leans towards him and kisses his cheek.

Shay raises his hands in a warding gesture. “So have fun, you two.”

He rises to his feet, takes Sol’s wrist and kisses her palm then takes mine and kisses my knuckles.

“You’re such a romantic, Shay,” I squeak.

“Yeah, an extinct species in our family,” Sol says.

Shay walks off and I lean towards Sol. “Is it serious?”

“It’s…” She sighs. “It’s, I don’t know, it’s like you’ve grasped a pinch of spring in your hand and you know it will turn into a hot summer and then a beautiful autumn.”

I nudge her chest with my elbow. “You’re in love.”

“I fucking am. I want him to be my first.”

“I bet you do.”

We hug and sway and listen to the primeval silence oozed by the mountains.

“Mike,” I squeak. “He…”

“Jump into his bed and he’s yours. He is one of us and he respects the rules.”

“No, I wouldn’t…”

“I would.”

I sigh. “Granny Rey told me the same thing.”

“She told me to be nice to Gunner Junior. Can you imagine? That shithead drives me mad. He’s so rude. I hate him. The rudest guy in the family apart from my dad and Dimitri.”

“You were once friends.”

“Old times.”

“Gunner Junior proposed to you.”

Sol chuckles. “He’s just a kid. He knows nothing about love. But Shay—“

“You sleep in his bed not in Shay’s when your dad is mad with you.”

“Gunner is younger than me. He can sleep on the floor.”

Yeah right. Gunner Junior also takes care of her bike, takes care of her hamster, takes care of her safety and she hasn’t even noticed that. He’s nice to her and he’s mean to me, to my sister, Cindy, and to my cousin, Aphrodite.

“You know what that shithead did?” Sol says. “He has a tattoo on his back. He showed me yesterday. Beautiful to be honest. Nobody knows. Only me.”

“Gunner’s mom would be very upset if she knew. He’s too young.”

Sol nods. “A really beautiful tattoo. Looks good on him.” She clings to me. “Shay on the other hand… He won’t have any tattoos. He’ll be a doctor like Athena.”

Mike

Daisy returns from her chat with Sol and drops into the chair at the opposite end of the living room. I stifle my urge to stand up and sit beside her. I want to be close to her and I don’t.

Maria starts delivering food and Aphrodite brings more drinks. Gunner Junior growls at Sol, she growls at him and Axel growls at them. Kids. They argue all the time.

Hawk drops into the couch beside me.

“Your bike is in perfect condition,” Hawk says. “I also changed the oil and the oil filter.”

“Thanks,” I say as a fog fills my mind, my eyes fixed on Daisy.

I should go back to my place, but I can’t.

One more day.

“I’m going to run my own garage one day,” Hawk says.

“That’s cool,” I say and pat his shoulder.

The women go to chat to the kitchen and I sip my beer, talking to Hawk then to Gunner Junior.

“How’s life?” I ask.

“Busy,” Gunner Junior says. He leans towards me. “I want to join you on guard when I’m eighteen.”

“We’ll see.”

I really like him. Toughness radiates from him. He’s a born hitman—he can shoot a gun like he was born with a gun in his hand.

“We’d be a team,” Gunner Junior says.

I pat his shoulder. “I’ll think about it.”

Amanda shoves a plate with salad into my hands. I eat too much, and I can’t manage to empty my second beer.

A few hours later, we are seated in the couches, on the floor, and in the armchairs. Jax grabs a guitar and Aphrodite starts singing. I’m always speechless when I listen to her songs. She has the voice of an opera singer.

Sive is sitting on Axel’s lap, Carrie is sitting on Gunner Senior’s lap, Dimitri whispers something into Rey’s ear and she smiles like a teenager for him. Yeah, the air is filled with the vibes of love.

My glance meets Daisy’s. She’s sitting beside Shay.

A painful yearning engulfs my heart. I want a wife. A wife I could plant on my lap and enjoy our gatherings as much as my brothers do.

Gunner Junior nudges Sol’s chest with his elbow. She winces like he’s a nasty creepy-crawly and she sits next to Shay. Daisy rises to her feet and leaves the room.

My mind pulsates and blurs. I lift myself and follow her like I’m a brainless puppet.

She bounces off me as I enter the kitchen. I grip her arms to steady her. Her smell hits me, strips me of sanity, and makes an animal out of me.

My hands collapse and we stare at each other, eternity between us, eternity of delicate pain, eternity like a second. Our eyes are locked together—no words are spoken. Our heavy breaths create a realm around us.

Boulder tumbles in. His walking frame scraps against the floor.

“Give me a glass of water, sweetheart,” Boulder says and Daisy rushes to the cupboard.

I pull myself together and return to the living room.

I go to my bedroom around 11 pm, have a shower and lie down on my bed. The light is still on, but I don’t care.

The next morning, Gunner Junior, Tyler and I go hiking. We return to the house in the late evening.

I know I should leave, but I don’t. I can’t. It’s like I’m chained to this house. I don’t see Daisy during the supper. I don’t see Sol and Aphrodite either.

Rage floods me, but I pull myself together.

Maria drops into the couch beside me.

“Do you clean the gravestones at least twice a year?” she asks with her deep warm voice.

Her mother was a Native American and her father was a good lawyer. Maria is the best baker in the world.

“Once a year,” I say. “With a dampened cloth like you told me to.”

She nods. “The Jilly Jet?”

“Still standing.”

I see Daisy and Sol enter the room. Daisy’s wearing a dress that looks like a nightdress from a sex shop. And that pisses me off. The glance Nikko shoots her pisses me off even more. As the girls pass us, Maria pulls Daisy into her embrace so she’s seated between us.

“She’s grown,” Maria says with joy.

“She has,” I say and glance at Daisy. “Are you having a party or something?”

“Let the kids have fun,” Maria says. “We’re old enough to snore in the armchair.” She frees Daisy from her hug and the little rat joins Sol in the farther end of the room. “You remember that barbeque at my place?” Maria continues. “When Daisy told everyone she’d marry you?”

“Kids,” I say.

“I think Nikko will marry Daisy.” Maria nods at me as her full lips curl into a smile.

Dark fury surges through me. No fucking way.

The kids disperse in all directions and I try to drown my rage in beer, but my beer tastes awful so I pour myself a glass of orange juice.

I go to bed after midnight. The light is on as I stretch my damp naked body out on the mattress.

The door creaks open and the sound of light footsteps wafts through the air. I don’t need to look at the person invading my peace so as to know that she’s my personal rat. Her smell is pervading all the room.

Daisy stands by the bed and leans over me. I turn on my other side, shoot my arm, gripping hers, and pull her onto the bed. She squeals as she lands beside me.

“You want to talk?” I growl. “Or what? What the hell are you doing here?”

“I want to talk… about the tyre and the tank,” she gasps. “To explain myself at last. We should… talk… about you and me.”

I turn her on her back. “Really?”

I tear the comforter off my body and crawl on top of her. Her satin red nightdress feels cold against my skin.

“Talk to me then,” I say.

Daisy starts panting. Her wide eyes shine like she’s facing the worst horror of her life. I guess she is. I’m on top of her and I’m naked. My hard dick is touching her inner thigh.

“I’m sorry, Mike. I just—“

I inhale her. A dense hot fog fills my mind. I hold my weight up on my elbows. “Tell me to punish you. You’re a naughty girl, aren’t you? You should be punished.”

“Mike,” she shrieks. “I’m sorry. Really sorry.”

“Do your mommy and daddy know what a naughty girl you are?” I realise I like her like this, at my mercy, shivering beneath me.

No—

I love her like this.

Her body’s shivering even more. Tears glitter on her cheeks.

She sniffles. “Only my granny knows.”

I knew it. Rey is a witch. “And your granny told you to come here and piss me off again?”

“She told me to talk to you.”

She’s talking like a kid but looks like a woman and that makes me even angrier. Or more aroused. I can’t see the difference. “What else did your granny told you?”

“She told me... she...”

“Spit it out.”

“She told me... You want me, Mike. You want me as badly as I want you.”

It’s like a snap of lightning is crossing my mind, making me stunned, speechless. Insane. I lower my head and press my lips against hers. It feels natural and familiar like I’ve  kissed those plump lips of hers for eternity. A thought hits my brain. We are kissing like we were married in our previous incarnations. Like we were madly in love in our previous incarnations.

Suddenly it’s only her and me—the whole world fades and dies around us. She isn’t my brother’s daughter and I’m not a broken old man. We are two souls merging into oneness.

Daisy throws her arms around my neck and crosses her ankles over my back. I gather up her nightdress and tear it off her. My eyes roam over her breasts.

Daisy is beautiful. Fresh like grass adorned with diamonds of dew on a spring morning. Innocent like a fawn. So fucking tempting that I lower my head and devour her breast. Her firm bud feels just right in my mouth. I bite down on her nipple lightly.

“Mike,” she squeaks and sinks her fingers into my hair.

I raise my eyes to hers. “You can leave the room if you want to.”

No, she can’t. I won’t let her leave the room. I want to be inside her so badly it hurts.

I circle her nipple with the tip of my tongue, and bite down on it again, rolling her other nipple with my fingers. Daisy gasps as her face sharpens.

I squeeze her tit roughly, take it fully into my mouth and lose myself in this feast.

She brings my lips up to hers and moans softly into my mouth so I kiss her. I kiss her deeper, harder. Dwell in her sweetness and tantalising scent.

My mouth moves down, grazing along her neck. Her sighs and moans strip me of the last remnants of my rationality. I plant kisses on her cleavage, between her perfect tits and around her navel. She giggles like I remember. I shake this thought off my head. She’s not my personal rat.

Except she is. And it’s crazy—she’s everything—my woman, my little Daisy. My salvation, my pain.

I tear off her panties and she emits a low scream, rolling on her side.

“I need to talk to you, Mike.”

“Later. I’m busy kissing your ass.” I plant a kiss on her lower back then on her ass cheek.

“Okay, later.”

I pull her closer to me so we lie on our sides and her back moulds against my chest. Her body shivers against mine.

I lay her head on my shoulder with my arm crossed over her chest as my other hand plunges between her thighs.

“You’re naughty,” I say, dipping my fingers in her juices. She’s soaking wet.

“I love you,” she says boldly.

“So show me your love for me.”

Her declaration evokes my amusement, but deep down I crave such words from her more than anything in the world.

Daisy turns her face to mine, putting her hand on my cheek and our lips meet again. Her soft body melds into mine and I like this feeling.

No—

I love this feeling. I love the way her ass is pressed against my groin. I love the way her sweat is merging with mine.

My finger slides into Daisy’s pussy, and I love it how hot and tight she is. Even my little finger is too big to fit and this realisation makes a mad man out of me. I want to wreck her little cunt.

“Mike,” she whispers.

I kiss her ragged breath. “I’m going to compensate you for my horrible birthday present for you.”

“I like that rat.”

I stroke her clitoris and she tenses in my arms. “You will like it better.”