Aiden took a deep breath before he knocked on the chief’s door. He hated being called to his office. In fact, he couldn’t ever recall being summoned to the office. Maybe that’s why he was panicking inside like a high school student being sent to the principal’s office.
“Come on in, Aiden. Have a seat. Close the door, please.”
He backtracked to close the door, detesting the visit more and more. Why did he have to close the door? That just tipped the scale from slightly worrisome to downright panicky. It signified he wanted privacy. He didn’t want anyone else to hear what he had to say.
What did he have to say? He wasn’t sure he wanted to know as he took a seat in one of the two plush chairs in front of his desk.
His life had become complete shit. He was almost afraid it was worse than when he lost Cynthia. Losing Theresa seemed ten times, no, a hundred times worse. She—
Was not his concern. He needed to remember that.
“What’s up, Chief?”
Chief Duncan sat in his chair, no decent expression for him to decipher. He couldn’t stand the silence. Silence made him think, and thinking was bad. The past few days all he did was think. He hated every minute of it. Now he hated every second. The chief called him into the office for a reason. He wanted to know the reason and move on.
“Is everything okay?”
He swallowed hard. “I’m fine.”
“You know who else said that to me a few days ago.” He leaned forward, resting his elbows on the desk. “Theresa.” His eyes narrowed. “I didn’t believe her. And I don’t believe you either.”
It took every ounce of his control and strength not to stand up and walk out. If he did that he’d most likely lose his job, because he didn’t think he’d have the courage to walk back in. He loved his job too much to lose it.
But he couldn’t—didn’t—want to talk about Theresa. He didn’t want to hear how she wasn’t fine. Because he’s the one who did that. He made her not fine.
He chose not to say anything as Chief Duncan stared at him hard. The chief was easy going. He’d never seen this look from him before. It sort of scared him. Maybe he would be losing his job today. Wait. Could he lose his job for breaking Theresa’s heart?
Did he even break her heart?
Well, that was a dumb question. Of course he did. He broke his own heart. That night…was everything. He had never felt anything so powerful before. If he felt it, then she had to have, too.
“What happened between you and Theresa?”
“I’m not sure what—”
“Don’t bullshit me, Aiden.” The muscle in his cheek started to twitch. “Everything is not okay.” He paused. “And it hasn’t been for a long time. You were back to work pretty quickly after Cynthia died—”
“I’m not talking about her.” He stood up.
Surprisingly, the chief stood up as well, his expression still hard and foreboding. “Sit. Down. You’re going to talk. If not with me, then somebody else. You need to talk about it. I should’ve never let you come back to work as quickly as you did. I’ve never had a problem with you on the job, but clearly, your personal life isn’t doing so great and that can transfer to the job.”
Aiden glared back. He didn’t want to sit. He didn’t want to talk. He didn’t want to do a damn thing but run.
“Sit down.” The expression on the chief’s face softened. “I’ve been in the diner every day this week, and every day Theresa looks worse. Just tell me what happened. Because, as I look at you, I can see you’re not doing any better. Please, Aiden, talk to me.”
He tried to gulp in a breath of air, yet afraid to breathe for fear the panic would take over. He sank into the chair and shoved his head between his legs as a panic attack threatened to overwhelm him. His chest constricted as he tried to gulp in a breath of air. Trying to concentrate on that simple task for several long seconds, he could feel his body start to relax in slow increments.
Minutes might’ve passed. Maybe seconds. All he knew was when he lifted his head, Chief Duncan looked at him with compassion and understanding. He didn’t want any of that. He didn’t want anything but—
“You asked for the day off on Sunday. I was happy that you were finally taking some time for yourself. To have some fun for once. Did something go wrong?”
Well, if he wanted to call having the best sex of his life and falling in love with a woman who made him want to smile all the time wrong, then yeah, something went wrong.
“You never want to talk…about her. Letting the pain out can help. You can be happy. Lynn lost Laura’s father at a young age. She still managed to let me love her. It’s possible, Aiden. Why are you letting your pain hurt you? Because that’s what I think you’re doing.”
He couldn’t deny any of that. He didn’t know the complete story behind the death of Laura’s father, but he didn’t think it could compare to his. Nothing could. Not in his eyes.
“You can ignore me all you want. If it makes you feel better, fine. Don’t talk to me.” His eyes turned stern. “But stay away from Theresa.”
He narrowed his eyes. “And what right do you have to say that to me, Chief? Did she get a restraining order against me? Is that why we’re sitting here?”
The chief’s eyes shimmered with relief. “No, she didn’t.” A chuckle escaped. “Finally, I managed to get you to say something. What does that say? You don’t like the idea of never seeing her again.”
Sighing heavily, he shook his head. “You wouldn’t understand.”
“Try me.” Chief Duncan leaned forward in his chair. “Theresa’s a sweet woman. I hate to see her unhappy as I have. I know you’re a good guy. I’ve hated seeing you so unhappy since Cynthia—” He held his hand up to halt any abrupt departure from him, which he thought of doing. “I’m sorry you lost someone you loved dearly. It’s never easy. And it’s not easy trying it again. I just want to help you.”
“I…” He hung his head. The words wouldn’t come. He couldn’t admit what he did. Not to the chief. Not to anyone.
“You deserve to be happy again, Aiden.”
His head shot up. “I don’t deserve shit!”
Chief Duncan’s brows puckered in confusion. “Why would you say that? You’re not walking out of this office without explaining yourself. I’m concerned about you. That comment. That just makes me more worried.”
“I…” His breathing became heavy as the words got stuck in his throat again. Just say it! Spit it out! His mouth opened and closed several times, yet nothing left. “I…it’s my fault.”
The pain in his chest receded just a touch. He felt a little lighter just voicing those three simple words.
Although, the chief still looked confused. “What is?”
“The…accident.” He could do it. “I killed Cynthia.”
Done.
He said it.
He finally confessed to his horrible crime. And to the chief of police, no less. What the hell did he just do?
Instead of anger and hate and disgust, all he saw on the chief’s face was even more confusion. Why wasn’t he standing up and demanding he turn around and put his hands behind his back? He killed the woman he was supposed to love. He just confessed.
“Aiden…she died in a car accident. That wasn’t your fault.”
Leaning toward the desk, he grasped the edge, his fingers digging in hard. “I killed her.” Now that he finally admitted to his transgressions, he couldn’t stop saying it. Each time he said it, the darkness ebbed away a little more. “I put her in that car and she died.”
“It was raining that night. Her car lost control and she hit a tree. So unless you tampered with the car somehow, I still don’t know why you believe you killed her.”
“She…” His head dropped again, unable to look the chief in the eyes as he said it. “I broke our engagement that night. I told her I didn’t love her anymore and that I wanted to call off the wedding. She left the house upset, crying. She wasn’t in the right state of mind to be driving.” He lifted his head. “So, yeah, I put her in that car and I killed her.”
The chief’s expression softened to sympathy. Thank God, it wasn’t pity, because he couldn’t bear to see that. “She made the choice to leave that night, did she not?”
He shook his head in agreement.
“Did you try to stop her?”
He nodded again. “She started throwing stuff. Yelling at me. She ran out of the house and got into her car before I could stop her. I didn’t mean to hurt her. I didn’t want to hurt her. But I wasn’t happy. I was so damn miserable I couldn’t take it anymore.” He sat back, shoving his hands across his face before dropping them to his lap. “About thirty minutes later, Bentley called me. He arrived first to the scene and saw the car in flames. I guess he panicked. He needed to know if I was in there before he stepped near the vehicle. When you showed up to my house, aware that Bentley called, you saw the mess.”
“I did. I just assumed…”
“Yeah, I let you assume I destroyed the house from the news. She did that, Chief, before she stormed out of the house.” He let out a heavy sigh. “She could be the sweetest woman in the world, and in the next breath, a raging bitch. I couldn’t take her moods anymore. She loved to control my life. I just couldn’t take it. I didn’t want to feel unhappy anymore. I didn’t want to pretend I loved her when I didn’t.”
“Listen to me closely, Aiden. You did not kill her. She made her own choices that night. You can’t keep blaming yourself for something that was out of your control.”
“I can’t help it.”
Chief Duncan smiled. Aiden had no idea how he could even smile after what he just confessed.
“It’s Thursday. You’re only working because O’Connor worked Sunday for you. Not anymore. Take the day off.”
“I don’t want—”
“Take time to think about everything.”
“I hate thinki—”
“Try to let it sink in you didn’t cause her death and that you didn’t do anything wrong.” The smile on his face grew, as if he didn’t hear a damn thing he tried to say. “I heard you volunteered to help with the decorating committee.” The laughter in his eyes said he knew exactly what happened there. “So take tomorrow off as well.”
“I don’t want—”
“I also want you to take the weekend off. I don’t want you back to work until Monday.”
“But—”
“In fact, I want to see you in my office on Monday before your shift. We’ll talk more then.”
“Chief, I don—”
“I think you should take this time to enjoy yourself. To let it sink in you deserve happiness. I think you should start by talking to Theresa. She’s miserable. You want to know how I know this. She made a good pot of coffee today. Absolutely delicious. I knew then, something was bothering her. She never makes a good pot of coffee.”
What could he say to that? Nothing. Because the chief interrupted every time he tried to say something.
“I don’t believe you.”
Chief Duncan flashed him the brightest smile of the day. “Go see for yourself.”