There was more power in Misty’s suite at the moment than I’d witnessed in my thousands of years on this mortal plane. Thornycraft was not the only vicious and deadly Sphinx in residence on the Mystical Isle—there were two others called Bonar and Upton. While the names were questionable, I was very aware their skills were not. What surprised me most was that no one seemed to know what they were.

“Archer, have you met my mate, Wally—the woman?” Poseidon inquired giving me the evil eye.

“I have. Nice to see you again, Wally,” I said, giving the otherworldly gorgeous woman a respectful bow.

Now that she was in her human form, I recognized her. Her name was Janet and she was the mother of Pirate Doug. She had been a demigoddess until she’d traded her status to be able to watch over her insane son. As the completely idiotic Pirate Doug was the heir to Poseidon’s throne, parental guidance was forbidden. It didn’t surprise me for a second that Janet aka Wally had found a way around that bizarre rule.

“Likewise,” she answered wink.

“You people think this is funny?” Poseidon shouted, pointing at his crotch.

It was all I could do not to laugh. However, his sad state of affairs was not entirely my fault. The inebriated idiot could have cleared up the misconception on Mount Olympus when he fired me. The dolt led me to believe Wally was a man and now he had to pay the piper—or the Wally to be more accurate. Poseidon was wearing a plaster cast on his Johnson… and that’s all he was wearing. It was horrifying but not that surprising. Clearly Wally hadn’t removed his pecker she’d just broken it.

“Is everyone here?” I asked, scanning the crowd.

Misty and her sisters sat on the couch. Wally and Poseidon stood as it was impossible for him to sit with his dick in a cast. Thornycraft, Bonar and Upton were with Pirate Doug who was wearing something appallingly lacy, but didn’t seem to mind. Ariel’s mate Keith was present as well.

“Are there any other immortals on the island that can be trusted?” I questioned.

“There are a couple Selkies, but they’re in Disney World on vacation. And the Sea Hags are about a mile offshore in a cave,” Pirate Doug informed me with a shudder. “However, they smell like baked arse left out in the sun for a month. I’d suggest they be on a need to know basis. Their presence has sent a few humans back to the mainland due to exploding sinuses and irreversible gag reflex issues.”

“I see,” I said with a wince. “Let’s get started. I’ve called you here today…”

“Holy shite,” Pirate Doug shouted. “Is this the wedding? I’m not wearing the right breeches and I need my fucking crown. Can we take a ten minute break here?”

“Umm… no. This is not your wedding. I believe that takes place in a few days,” I said, fearing the day he took over for his father.

“Great,” he said, looking incredibly relieved. “Didn’t want to get caught with my pants down because I need to foil wrap my tallywhacker first.”

“I’m sorry. What the fuck?” I asked, sure I’d misunderstood.

“Damn it,” the Pirate grumbled. “That was supposed to be a surprise for Tallulah. Now I’ve ruined everything.”

“No worries, my love,” Tallulah said with a laugh and a shake of her head. “I’ll pretend I didn’t hear.”

“Excellent,” Pirate Doug shouted. “Carry on.”

It took me a second before I could find my voice after that one, but my Mermaid certainly had hers and she wasn’t playing around.

“Demons are coming to the Mystical Isle?” Misty asked, getting right to the point while giving me the side eye.

“What?” Poseidon bellowed. “Hades is sending demons here when my idiot son is partaking in the human wedding with his purple hooker?”

“Was I just insulted?” Pirate Doug inquired, looking confused.

“We both were, sweetie,” Tallulah said, lifting her middle finger to the God of the Sea while Wally slapped him upside the head.

“Okaaaaaaay,” Poseidon said, ducking an expert right hook from Wally. “I might have phrased that a bit indelicately, but it’s a very fine question. And for the love of everything waterlogged. My pecker is in a cast. I think I deserve a little leeway here.”

“Aye,” Thornycraft said, stepping between Wally and the Sea God before it degenerated into the need for a full body cast for Poseidon. “Hades isn’t sending demons. There’s a rip in the abyss. Them thar scurvy tar stains are slippin’ through.”

“And how did that happen?” Misty asked.

All eyes turned to me and waited. Shit. It was time for full disclosure.

“It’s my fault,” I admitted. “The demons got through because there’s not enough love in the world.”

“So I was right to fire you,” Poseidon announced jubilantly. “I mean, I didn’t know that at the time, but being right is great. You people feel me?”

“I feel you, Pappy,” Pirate Doug chimed in. “Congratulations.”

“Thank you, boy. So what are we going to do about this?” Poseidon demanded.

“They’re coming for Cupid,” I started only to be cut off by a furious Tallulah.

“Unacceptable,” she hissed, staring daggers at me.

“Agreed,” I said quickly. “That’s why Misty will trade back my job to me. They will come after me and not her.”

“No,” Misty said, standing up. “You could die.”

“And so could you,” I ground out. “Not happening. You can have the job back after we defeat them. You’re better at it than I am anyway.”

“But if you die, I’ll die,” she whispered in a choked voice

All of a sudden I could only see Misty—the most beautiful person I’d ever seen. It was as if we were the only two people in the room—in the world. Everyone else ceased to exist in my mind—only Misty. She was the Mermaid I’d loved for half a century, but only realized it when it might be too late.

“If you die, I can’t go on,” I told her as I crossed the room and took her hand in mine. “You are my raison d’être. Nothing will ever happen to you if I’m here to stop it. Period.”

“This sucks,” Misty said. “I just found you.”

“I’m yours. Nothing can change that now.”

“Unless you die,” she pointed out.

“Well, yes there is that,” I agreed with a laugh. “But as bad at being Cupid as I’ve become, I’m a fucking kick ass warrior.”

“I can vouch for that,” Pirate Doug said as he tripped over his lacy shirt—or dress, interrupting the bubble Misty and I were in. “I’ve seen the bastard fight. It makes me look like a weenie and I’m a gods-damned nightmare come to life in battle.”

Poseidon limped over since his cast was slapping his thighs every time he took a step. It made movement difficult and appallingly humorous. As the mostly naked imbecile circled us, his smile grew wider and wider.

“You love her?” Poseidon inquired looking like a child at Christmas.

“I do,” I answered him while keeping my eyes pinned to Misty.

“And you love him?” Poseidon literally squealed to my Mermaid.

“Umm… yes,” she muttered.

“What?” I asked with a grin so big it hurt my cheeks. “I didn’t hear that.”

“Fine,” she snapped and flipped me off. “I love you.”

“My work here is done!” Poseidon bellowed and tried to do a jig, but his casted wanker hindered his dance. He hit the floor and landed face down. Every single male in the room cried out in phantom pain.

But wait a fucking minute…

“What do you mean your work here is done?” I ground out, yanking the Sea God up from the floor as my skin began to glow a menacing silver. “Did you set this up? You framed Misty? And me?”

“Hold your seahorses, boy,” Poseidon grumbled, beginning to glow a shade of green that challenged my silver. “I’m in charge of DIC and you will show me respect.”

“Sweet seahorse in a thong,” Pirate Doug screamed. “I’m passing on the fucking job if I have to be in charge of all the salamis in the Universe. I did not know that part of the God of the Sea job description. My arse is out.”

“Divine Immortal Circuit,” Poseidon told his son with an eye roll.

“I enjoy the circus, but dicks are out,” Pirate Doug replied.

Everyone was silent for a moment as we digested that Pirate Doug would eventually be a God.

“Answer the question, Poseidon. Were we set up?” I growled.

“Yesssss, I set it up. Misty wore your magic. No one can wear the magic of a God unless they’re destined to be their mate, you nard. And both of you were too hard headed to admit the truth, so I just helped it along a little bit. You should be thanking me instead of showing disrespect,” he bellowed.

That gave me pause. I didn’t like being played and I certainly didn’t like the thought of owing anything to a God whose Johnson was encased in plaster, but…

“Thank you,” Misty said to Poseidon as she stepped forward and took my hand in hers. “You were right this time but if you ever pull anything like this again, I will have Wally do more than break your tallywhacker.”

“And I will,” Wally announced with glee. “However, Poseidon’s good deed will be rewarded.”

“With a blow job?” he asked Wally hopefully.

And that’s when Wally knocked the God of the Sea out. It was incredible and a fine reminder to never get on Wally’s bad side. Ever.

“So what the plan?” Tallulah asked as she stepped up next to her brain cell deprived Pirate.

“Misty agrees to trade the job and we wait,” I said.

“Misty?” Tallulah said and then waited.

“I don’t want to do this, but I will. However, I’m telling you right now I will fight right alongside you and I won’t take no for an answer.”

“I will fight with both of you,” Wally said. “Poseidon is down for the count due to his unfortunate accident, but his magic will come in handy.”

Wally grinning naughtily and I was reminded yet again to stay on her good side. Always.

“Aye, I will fight as well,” Thornycraft volunteered.

“Aye, and me,” Bonar added.

“Aye and me,” Upton said.

“Keith and I will fight,” Ariel said, holding hands with her Selkie.

“You bet your hairy asscrack,” Keith said, nodding his agreement.

Closing my eyes for a brief moment, I decided to overlook the insult and pretend it was an endearment. My asscrack wasn’t hairy, but that was entirely TMI for this crowd. The simple fact that the passed out God of the Sea was wearing nothing more than a plaster cast on his Johnson was enough for today.

“I’m in,” Madison said. “I’m always up for a good smackdown. I say bring it.”

“I have an idea,” Misty said as her emerald eyes sparkled with excitement. “Since it’s love that’s missing, I say we make a few more matches and start filling the world with more love.”

“Yar a smart little swimmin’ hooker. More love in the air will weaken the evil worm riddled tar stains from hell,” Thornycraft told my Mermaid. “Yer mum and pappy would be real proud.”

Misty launched herself at the Pirate and hugged him tight. Amazingly I wasn’t jealous in the least. It was clear that she loved him in a brotherly way and he loved her just as much. I had to admit, I liked the Pirate… or rather Sphinx as well. And as long as he cared for my Mermaid, I would care for him.

“We all good?” I asked.

“Hell to the yesssssss,” Madison said as she waved her hands in the air and armed herself from head to toe. “What about the humans?”

Madison was a frightening sight and would scare the living hell out of her mate someday. I just hoped I lived to see it. And she’d made a fine point.

“Either move them off the island or we put them in a Cone of Protection and tell them we’re filming a movie,” I said.

“Perfect,” Madison said as she sprinted for the door. “This is gonna be great.”

Gods, I certainly hoped so.