****
After Michael had decided to end the conversation, the silence over the line was deafening. How could he hang up on me? Who did he think he was? All of the delicious and sexy feelings I had over the weekend for him disappeared and what remained was a ball lodged in the pit of my stomach.
I dug my finger into the END button on the phone, cutting off all connection with him. I squeezed the phone in my hand and wondered if this is what he had planned the whole time. By flashing his money and using Tanner as leverage, he knew I would accept the job to work for him again. It was so manipulative. And I hadn’t even taken the job. He assumed I would take it.
But why would he want me after everything we’ve been through? I dared to think he actually cared for me, but one part of my brain thought it would save him time and resources to hire me back so he wouldn’t have to train someone else.
And how dare he call me selfish!
The sliding door from the other room caught my attention. I placed my phone on the desk and left my bedroom. If he called back, he’d go straight to voicemail.
“Good morning, Rainey,” Mom said, closing the door. She shivered and rubbed her hands over her arms. “It is bitter cold today.”
“Do you want some tea?” I asked, grabbing for the box of tea bags. I knew she wanted it, asking was a formality.
“That would be great,” she said.
I heated up the kettle and stood by the sink, unable to stop thinking of Michael.
“How’s the job hunt going?” she asked.
“It’s going,” I said. With the distractions this morning, I barely had a chance to email my resume anywhere.
“Is everything alright?” Mom asked, appearing at my side.
“Yeah,” I said.
She pressed her finger to the corner of my mouth. “You don’t look it.”
I turned my head away. I wanted to share the conversation with Michael. I had a feeling she was always on his side, but I was desperate to talk about it with someone. And I doubted Tessa was up yet. She had Monday’s off and rarely woke before noon.
“I called Michael this morning,” I said.
Her eyebrow raised only slightly. I knew she was holding back a bigger reaction. “How come?”
I sighed. “He deposited extra money into my last paycheck, more than enough.”
“Was it a mistake?” she asked.
“No,” she said. “He wanted me to have enough money to care for Tanner in the meantime.”
“That’s sweet of him,” Mom said.
Of course, she would think that. I had to get her back on my side, so I decided to be honest with her about last week.
“When I collected my last pay stub the other day, he offered the job back,” I said.
Mom couldn’t hide her surprise this time. “And you didn’t take it? How come? You said it was a good job.”
“Yeah, but—” I started, wanting to tell her about the mob stuff. But that wasn’t my secret to tell. “I don’t think we can work it out.”
“You need to push whatever personal issues between you two out of the way. Swallow your pride and take the damn job. He obviously wants to keep you. I doubt a man like that made his fortune by handing out money to people who quit.”
I told her the amount of the money he added to my regular salary.
“He obviously cares,” she said.
“He shouldn’t,” I said, starting to feel ashamed for how I treated him. Seeing the situation through her eyes made me wonder if I had been the one to screw up. “I lied to him about having a son. That’s why he was so upset with me when he came here.”
“Rainey, when has lying ever gotten you anything?”
“Well, I didn’t lie,” I corrected. “I kept Tanner a secret. I wanted Michael to take me seriously.”
“And now he wants you back?” she asked.
“Yeah,” I said, still unsure why. Did he think if I worked for him then he would get sex whenever he wanted? That wasn’t going to happen.
“So Tanner didn’t scare him off,” she said. “He obviously cares for you. As an employee.”
I knew it was much more than that. For some reason, it was easier to think that Michael wanted me for my working skills, but he did care. He cared enough to put extra money aside for me so that I would be able to comfortably survive while searching for a new job. Most employers wouldn’t do that. I started to feel bad about the accusations I threw at him during our conversation.
“I care too,” I admitted. “But I’m not sure if he’s the right man for me. And if he’s going to be my boss again, I don’t think we could ever carry on with anything but a professional relationship.”
“I agree with that,” she said.
“You do?”
She nodded. The kettle started to whistle, and I took it off the burner and poured the hot water into two mugs.
“Sometimes you have to take a chance on something that’s good for you, even if it hurts. Especially if you’re a mom. Sacrifice is sometimes the only option, especially when it comes to providing the necessities to your family. Nothing you do can be for selfish reasons. It’s the plight of motherhood.”
I sighed, dipping the tea bag into my mug. I watched the water fill the bag, weighing it down.
“Take the job, Rainey,” she said. “End the relationship. It’s for the best. If you want, do it until something better comes along. Or someone better. Whether it's a new man or a better opportunity, I know something will happen for you soon. It's right around the corner, I can feel it.”
I nodded. “Thanks, Mom.” I let out a long exhale. I had to swallow my pride and accept the damned job. It made me a little giddy thinking that I wouldn’t need to take the day to search for something else. I almost dreaded it since the job market wasn’t working well for me. The jobs out there weren’t what I was looking for. And since Michael had already offered me my job back, I could take my time in finding something bigger and better, just like Mom predicted.
“I’m always here to talk,” she said.
“I know,” I said. “Thanks.”
“I know you like to talk to Tessa about more personal issues, but I know what it’s like to be a mom. It’s tough and rewarding at the same time. And I’m happy to share advice when I can.”
I kissed her on the cheek. I wouldn’t forget that. Mom had done a lot of sacrificing for me. And I had for Tanner as well, but this was a big one. I had to put my heart on hold and be the woman to support him.