Chapter 62

Rainey

For some reason, I always felt surprised when Michael kissed me. And the fact that his kiss came during a particularly heated argument made my toes curl so deliciously. The passion that we both had for each other was the driving force for me to deepen the kiss. I wanted to taste all of him. I gripped his shoulders and pressed up on the balls of my feet to reach more of him. His arms wrapped around my waist and pulled me against him.

Michael was the first one to pull away.

My eyes fluttered open, and I looked around. My cheeks flushed as an older woman smiled at me as she passed.

I was so wrapped up in Michael that I completely forgot that we were on a busy sidewalk.

I took a step back from him, and he took my hand, firmly gripping it. “I’m not letting you out of my sight again.”

My chest squeezed, and my stomach felt as light as a cloud. I wanted the same.

“Are you hungry?” he asked.

“Yes,” I said. I never stopped for breakfast that morning. Once I spotted Michael following me, I had wrapped myself up in the game of cat and mouse that he started, completely forgetting to eat.

He kissed my palm and led me down the sidewalk toward the end of the strip of stores.

In a way, I was glad he was the one who took charge. My legs felt like jelly and my brain was a little fuzzy. I wasn’t sure I’d be able to get us to any significant location at that moment.

Michael found a restaurant near the water, and since it was a little before lunch time, we were able to get a seat on the patio. The salty sea breeze filled my nose as I inhaled deeply. I rarely went to the beach as a kid. We didn’t take a lot of vacations. And since having Tanner and dealing with Killian, we rarely went on vacations together.

How I wanted to come to a place like this, or even the Jersey shore with Tanner, just to smell the sea air again. Since my job was firmly in place, I would make plans when the weather was warmer. The air made all the tense muscles in my shoulders and back relax. And seeing Tanner playing on the beach would warm my heart as well.

Throughout the entire lunch, Michael touched me in some way. Whether it was his hand reaching for mine across the table or his foot touching mine. It was as if he felt the same way I did. If we stopped touching, then we might go back to our old bickering ways. But with everything about Natalia out in the open, I hadn’t felt this good in a long time. He wanted to be with me. I knew that now. And all I had to do was come out and ask him about it. He probably had no idea my insides were wrapped up in knots about this whole situation.

He wanted to come to this place with me for both business and pleasure. I’d already wasted a day. I didn’t want to wreck another day with my petty jealousy.

We didn’t say much about each other during the meal. We mostly commented on the food and talked about the island in a purely business fashion. It was as if neither of us wanted to pop our little content bubble.

After the delicious lunch, Michael took me by the hand before we even left the table.

“I’ve called the car service,” Michael said when we reached the street again. “They don’t need to come pick you up. I brought my own car.”

As much as I didn’t want to leave the comfort of having so many people around us, I knew there was a lot more Michael and I needed to discuss. And that conversation should be held in private.

Once we reached the resort again, I headed for the house, but Michael had other ideas.

“How about we check out the private beach?” he asked.

“Sure,” I said.

“Let’s walk,” he said. “It’s not that far.”

Michael took my hand again. I would never get tired of feeling Michael’s skin against mine. He had a strength that fell off his body in waves. It was something I always wanted in a partner. As strong as I was as a person, having Michael in my life could fill the gap that myself and Tanner needed.

“Tell me more about Tanner,” Michael asked.

I glanced up at him. He wasn’t trying to be polite. In fact, he looked a little nervous.

“What do you want to know?” I asked.

“How old is he?” Michael asked.

“He’s six. He’s in kindergarten.”

“He’s six?” Michael asked.

“Yes, why?” I asked.

Michael chuckled. “I have no idea about kid’s ages. He seems older.”

I laughed. “He’s an old soul. He loves his cooking shows, so I think he’s starting to take personality traits from some of the chefs. Which is why my Mom and I try to keep him away from Gordon Ramsey.”

“I’ve met him before.”

“Who?”

“Gordon.”

“You’ve met Gordon Ramsey?” I asked.

“Yes,” he said. “At one of his restaurants. He’s not that bad of a guy. Those television shows make him out to be a tyrant when he’s just a good business man.”

“Well, the multiple bleeps per episode turn me off. Tanner would ask what he said, and cursing is hard to explain to a six-year-old.”

Michael smiled. “I suppose you’re right.”

“But if you want to start a conversation with him, cooking is the way to go.”

“Thanks for the tip,” he said. “He seems pretty amazing from the short conversation we had. I think you should have told me sooner.”

And there was the segue we needed to get into the harder stuff.

“I’m sorry, again, Michael,” I said. “It’s a default for me to protect him. I’ve been burned before with different interviews. Once you mention a kid, people look at you differently.”

“I wouldn’t have,” Michael said.

“I didn’t know that. I needed a job, and I would have done or said anything.”

Michael gave me a look, and I rolled my eyes. “You know what I mean.”

“I do,” he said. “I’m glad everything is out in the open.”

I chewed on my lip. “Well, not everything.”

“Your ex,” Michael said, not as a question but a statement.

“Killian,” I said, grimacing at the name.

“What’s his deal?” Michael asked.

We finally made it to the beach, and I let go of Michael’s hand. Thinking of Killian made my skin crawl and touching Michael while thinking about my ex didn't feel right. I walked over to the surf and stepped into the water. The water was warm yet refreshing.

“We were together when I was much younger and naive. He kept a lot of secrets from me.” I wanted Michael to see the duality between the two of them. Michael wasn’t an asshole, though. I wanted him to understand why I was so hesitant to start anything with him, outside of the idea that he was also my boss.

“I see,” Michael said.

“And he doesn’t contribute anything to Tanner, except disappointment.”

“How so?” Michael asked.

I shrugged and crossed my arms, feeling the familiar shiver of guilt at the situation that I put Tanner in. “He says he’s going to do something with Tanner and then he doesn’t. Tanner always asks about him, and I’m the one left with a sad child. It’s heartbreaking. And as much as I hate Killian, Tanner needs a father in his life. I’m afraid of what will happen to him if he doesn’t have that male figure.”

“He doesn’t need one,” Michael said.

I turned to him.

“You love him so much. I see that. And your Mom is very kind. You are both strong figures in his life. The Y-chromosome has nothing to do with that. He’s going to turn out okay.”

I appreciated his vote of confidence. And then I allowed myself to wonder if Michael would ever be that figure to Tanner. Other than a few of his questionable business dealings, Michael was a good, strong man. Someone that Tanner could look up to.

I shook my head, bringing myself back to reality.

“It appears we have everything out in the open,” he said, after a few moments.

“Not quite,” I said, wanting to talk about a bigger issue that involved all of us. “There’s the situation around Sal Rossi deal we still have to talk about.” If I was going to have Michael in Tanner’s life, I needed to make sure that we were going to be safe.

“There’s not much to talk about,” he said.

“I saw the police at your office the other day,” I said. If we were going to be open with each other, I wanted to know everything. “Did they speak with you again?”

“No,” Michael said. “I saw them too, and they were just sniffing around. They’re doing their due diligence, and as long as I stay out of it, nothing will come of it. I’d never put you and Tanner in danger. I hope you know that.”

“I do,” I said, surprising myself. “But you can’t fault me for questioning it. Killian lied about so many things. I wasn’t sure if I was blind or he was a really good liar. It’s hard for me to trust, Michael.”

“I understand,” he said. He took my hands in his and turned me to face him. He dipped his head and pressed a kiss to my forehead. “But I want to be with you. I don’t care that you have a kid. I’d love to get to know him and your family. And that’s not something I do with anyone. Trust me.”

“I want to,” I said, feeling those familiar stirrings inside of me whenever Michael looked at me.

“I’ll be here waiting when you figure it out,” he said, pulling me against him.

I embraced him and turned my head to look out on the ocean. I took a mental picture of this place with a man that now understood me from the inside out and still wanted to be with me. It was everything I wanted, but it was up to me to decide. It was something Killian never gave me the opportunity to do. I was a fool to compare the two men. Michael was the better, and he challenged me in ways I never knew I could be. I’d be a fool not to accept him, but I still had some thinking to do.