I know this fling has a ticking clock. I know this is all temporary, but every time Ford looks at me, my heart melts a little bit more.

Ford came into my life at the perfect moment. I was so stressed and overwhelmed and overworked, that I didn’t realize he was the fresh mountain air my heart was craving so damn badly.

Ford somehow, makes me forget all the things I’m worried about. He takes the edge off my fear of my life becoming a free fall. His strong arms and firm touch and surprisingly romantic demeanor softens me in a way that makes all the stress in my life bearable.

He reminds me of everything I love about the city. He keeps showing me restaurants I haven’t heard about and takes me to museums for the first time in years. I keep teasing him that he’s the one falling in love with NYC, but the truth is, I’m falling back in love with it all over again.

Matty is spending lots of time at the YMCA--which is a great outlet for him. I even registered him for a camp that offered a scholarship for him. And Tallie is busy with her internship, and since no prospective jobs are calling me for interviews, I’m choosing to take Ford’s advice and live one day at a time. Of course, I’m still applying to places like crazy. And I’m even getting a little desperate. Last week, I applied for a job as a preschool assistant. Which is great for some people, but I know next to nothing about early childhood development.

Still, I’m not letting any possibility pass me by. Not when Matty and Tallie are counting on me.

And now with school out for the summer, my sister and Matty can help with the laundry, grocery shopping, and cleaning the apartment.

It’s hard to think about, but I wonder if half the stress I felt this last year was self-induced. Of course, losing Mom made everything feel one hundred times harder, but now that I’m feeling less overwhelmed with the routine of getting them off to school each day, for the first time I can see that there might be a light at the end of this tunnel.

Maybe I won’t always have to be a neurotic mess. Maybe I’m still fun. Maybe Mia isn’t totally lost.

And right now, I’m allowing myself to enjoy the summer in the city. God knows real life is hurtling toward me like a subway.

Ford and I share a romantic dinner at a small French cafe that opened three blocks away. It’s tucked down a brick-paved alley, and the entire restaurant is on an outdoor patio where lights are strung between the rafters and wine is served in carafes.

We come home a little tipsy and a lot horny. My hands are all over him the moment we enter his hotel room. He undresses me slowly, and I let my body open to him in a way that only happens after a bottle of wine each.

Naked, in his bed, he kisses me from head to toe. I laugh, covering my face as his beard tickles my pussy, waking me up in the way he knows I love.

“Let me do something just for you,” I tell him, sitting on the edge of the bed. “Where is that lubricant we bought the other day?”

He raises his eyebrows, his interest piqued, and he walks toward the bathroom to grab the bottle, his hard cock making my pussy clench in desire as he returns.

“What did you have in mind?”

“Let’s try something... different.” I lick my lips and then spread my legs, pulling him closer, my hands grabbing his perfect ass.

I open my mouth, letting my tongue swirl around his hard cock, taking him in as far as I can go. His hands are in my hair, guiding me to suck him harder, the way I have learned he likes. I move fast, his veiny shaft so hard and I can taste precum on his tip.

It tastes so good, and it makes my pussy drip with excitement. When I know he is ready, I pull him from me and roll over on my hands and knees, wanting him to take me from behind in a way we haven’t before.

“You sure?” he asks, his warm hands on my ass cheeks, massaging them, a finger running between my legs and feeling how wet and needy I am for him. He leaves a trail of kisses down my back, and my body sinks into the bed, feeling so desired and adored.

“I’m sure,” I tell him. “I want you to be my first.” Deep down I am thinking that I want him to be my only.

I feel him growl with yearning as he presses a lubed finger against my hole. He opens it up, the sensation so new and intoxicating to us both. I clench my jaw together as I allow my body to explode as he presses a second finger inside of me.

The feeling is overwhelming, in an absolutely sensual way. I don’t want him to stop, All I want is more, everything. To give into this surreal moment of bliss.

I exhale against the duvet, my head on its side as I relax my body, allowing it to open to the man I trust so damn much.

“Is this okay, baby?” he asks gently, caressing my ass so tenderly.

I murmur a yes as he begins to ease his hard cock against my ass. I moan my back arching and melting toward him as he begins to fill me, the lubricant helping ease him deeper and deeper.

A smile spreads across my face, as I fully allow the moment to overtake me. He begins to rock gently against me.

“Oh God, Mia,” he groans. “I’m gonna come, you’re so fucking tight. So, damn hot.”

He loves it and I do too, offering our bodies to one another in every way. I blink back tears of pleasure as he finishes inside me as I come. The orgasm a surprise and a rush that starts in my shoulders, weaving its way to my toes. My core is ignited and alive as a thousand pinpricks of pleasure round out against my openings. I gasp, panting for breath as Ford demolishes every idea I ever had about sex.

“Oh, Ford,” I moan, falling into the bed, my body spent and alive.

We shower together, soapy water covering my breasts, his cock, making the night feel like a fantasy.

We were indulgent and ordered dessert to-go from the cafe and now, sitting on his bed in fluffy hotel robes, Ford opens the box of flourless chocolate cake and feeds me bites as we groan in delight.

The sex was incredible, but this cake is pretty fucking good too.

I’m just beginning to fall asleep in Ford’s arms when my phone rings. I reach for it on his bedside table, not even bothering to cover my body with a sheet. Ford has seen all of me at this point. Over the last four weeks, there isn’t a part he hasn’t explored. That he hasn’t tasted and devoured.

The same goes for him. His body turns me on so damn fast and I constantly crave more.

“Who’s calling?” Ford asks as I fumble for my phone in the dark.

“Mia?” Tallie's voice is filled with fear. “I can’t find Matty anywhere. He was in his room playing a video game but now he’s not there.”

I’m already standing and pulling on my jeans. I put the call on speakerphone, so Ford knows what’s happening.

“I’m just upstairs in Ford’s room. Meet me in the lobby?”

“Of course.”

I hang up and slip on my top and pull on my boots.

I sling my purse over my shoulder and turn to Ford. “Are you coming?”

He’s already dressed, and his hand is on the doorknob. He looks at me like I’m crazy. “Of course, I’m coming, Mia. We have to hurry.”

“I know,” I say. But his eyes are dark and his intensity is palpable.

“Come on, Mia.” Ford grabs my hand, lacing our fingers together as if he vows not to let me go, and pulls me to the lobby. His palm is sweaty as he rushes us toward the lobby. My fear is real, and I can tell Ford’s is too. His reaction is intense but I don’t begrudge him that. I’m grateful he understands the weight of this moment, even if his words are tight with terror.

Tallie runs toward us, crying. “Where would he have gone?” she asks.

I shake my head. “It’s so unlike him. Did you call his friends?”

Tallie looks at me like I’ve grown a third eye.

“Right. He doesn’t have friends.” I run a hand through my hair, thinking of where we can start looking.

“Let’s just think logically,” Ford says. His voice is stern and I’m glad he is here, that he can help take control. My chest is pounding and my shoulders shake. “Where does he like to go?”

“The used bookstore?” I suggest. “But it’s after ten o’clock at night. Everything is closed.”

“He kept saying he wanted to go to Brooklyn Zoo to see the bear,” Tallie says.

“There’s no way he would have gone all the way to Brooklyn,” I say.

“Is there anything else anywhere else he’s been mentioning?” Ford asks. “Think, Mia. Think.”

“I am. God,” I say, flinching at his tone.

“Um, last week he mentioned wanting to see Ford’s sculpture,” Tallie says, fear tracing along the edges of her eyes.

“That’s right,” I say, nodding, panic growing in my belly. I remember him asking me while I was on my way out the door with a garbage bag, and while I was cleaning up the dishes after dinner, and when I was trying to balance the budget. All times when I couldn’t give him my full attention. Hell, any attention. Pressing a fist to my mouth, I manage to add, “Matty asked me three days in a row about it.”

“Are you serious? Fuck, why didn’t you tell me?” Ford asks, practically accusing me of something. “I would’ve taken him.”

I lift an eyebrow. “Because it’s your job. A kid can’t just hang out at your job site. Besides, we’re a fling. Not a relationship. You don’t need to hang out with my kid brother.”

Ford looks at me like I’ve lost it. “You realize there are literally dozens of people standing around my job site every single day. Filming me. Photographing me. Adding their commentary to every move I make?”

“I get it. I should have, but I didn’t and now... fuck. He’s gone.” I feel tears brimming in my eyes, and I need to be strong for my family.

I don’t tell Ford the other reason why I didn’t ask for him to take Matty to work. I saw how comfortable they were with one another at the bowling alley. Playing Nerf war in the lobby. The way Matty and he sat on bean bag chairs in my brother’s bedroom playing Star Wars Battlefront on the PlayStation for hours.

The last thing Matty needs is to get any closer to someone who will be gone in a matter of weeks.

“We can’t waste time. Call 911, Mia. And let’s head to the park. It’s our only lead,” Ford says, tension brewing in his eyes. Under his breath, he adds, “And let’s pray to God he’s okay.”

“He wouldn’t have gone to Central Park alone, at night,” I tell him, shaking my head. “There is no way.”

Ford and Tallie share a look that means they both think I’ve lost it.

“Right.” Tallie pushes her lips forward, arms crossed. “He also knows not to leave the apartment and he did.”

Ford runs a hand through his beard. “Matty’s been through a lot and maybe he needed to get--”

I cut him off. “Don’t even,” I start. I take his words personally, pointing to my chest I say, “I’m his guardian. I’m the one taking care of him. I know what he needs.”

Ford nods his head, irritation and worry showing on his face. “You’re the boss here. You call the shots. So, where do you want to go look?”

Tears are in my eyes and I feel like I fucked everything up. And Ford is looking at me like I’m a failure. Like I’m the reason Matty is gone.

And the truth is, as hard as it is to admit, maybe I am.