I’m wearing a simple dress and sandals. My hair is loose--but washed and blown dry--and I have my signature red lipstick on. We’re apartment hunting today and I need to look as professional and responsible as possible.

We’re getting a place today, no matter what.

The hotel is closing in five days. To say I’m down to the wire is an understatement.

As sad as I am to have Tallie gone next year, it gives me a lot more flexibility in terms of places to live. A one bedroom will work fine. Matty can have his space and I can take up shop in the living room like we’re doing now. Like my mom did her entire life.

“Come on, Matty. We’re gonna be late.” I’m finishing my coffee and Tallie is putting bread in the toaster. We’ve planned a family day and while it’s a little intimidating to look for a place, I’m glad to have my brother and sister with me.

“You look really nice,” Tallie tells me.

I smile, her fashion compliments are few and far between, so I soak it up. “Thanks. Means a lot coming from you.”

She laughs, grabbing her toast as it pops up. “Usually you look like--”

I cut her off. “Let’s not finish that sentence.”

Matty comes in, with a ball cap not-so-discreetly covering his unbrushed hair.

“You’re killing me, smalls,” I say as Tallie hands him a piece of toast. It’s a group effort for sure and I wonder what it will be like next year without our third wheel.

“Don’t get sappy,” Tallie says.

“I’m not.”

You are, I see it in your eyes. Those are sappy eyes.”

“I know. It’s just...” I sigh, looking around the apartment. “It’s been our home forever.” We all take a moment to look around. Walls that hung our school work, a kitchen that held so many conversations. It knows all our secret dreams and fears, and a living room where we could put our feet and relax as a family.

“You think we can find an apartment with a yard?” Matty asks.

I cringe. “That doesn’t exist in the city, you know that.”

“Well, we’ve gotta get going. Apartments to see and plans to make. Come on, come on,” Tallie says, corralling us out of the hotel.

“Since when were you the one steering the boat?” I ask, laughing as the three of us walk toward the subway. I make sure everyone is walking close to me. Ever since the mugging, I have felt extra cautious. And even though know my attacker is behind bars, it is still unnerving to know that there are people like him out in the world.

She shrugs. “I’m just anxious. I want to see everyone settled. Everyone happy.”

“And she wants you to get to Central Park by ten,” Matty says.

“What?” I scowl. “What do you mean?”

“Nothing,” Tallie says breezily. “Nothing at all. Isn’t the first apartment showing at eight-thirty? We need to get a move on! These places go fast!”

“Hold up,” I say. “What is Matty talking about?” I pull them both around to face me.

“It doesn’t matter,” Tallie says. “We don’t actually know.”

“Ford has a surprise, that’s all we know. A surprise for you.”

I blanch. “Really?”

Tallie and Matty exchange a conspiratorial look. “We suck at this mission,” Matty says finally.

Tallie scowls. “What do you mean we?” Then she shrugs. “And we don’t suck, we’re just... changing it a bit.” She grabs my hands. “Ford wants you there. We want you there. I don’t know what will come of it, but you know you want him and we know he wants you.”

“I can’t--”

She cuts me off. “Stop thinking what you can’t do and start believing that you can.”

“Being with him caused Matty to get hurt. And I can’t let that happen again. It’s a distraction.”

“That logic is flawed, and you know it.”

“I know,” I admit. Soul-searching’s been the way I’ve been passing time and at the heart of things, I know she’s right. “It’s an excuse.”

“What if you didn’t need an excuse?” Tallie asks.

I shake my head. “What if he breaks my heart?”

“What if he doesn’t?”

I pull in my lips, raise my eyes to the sky, knowing deep down, that I want to try. To give it a chance. More than a chance. I want to give Ford my heart.

“When is the unveiling?” I ask.

Matty beams. “In ninety minutes.”

“Okay,” I say, shocking even myself. “One apartment, then let’s go see what this surprise is all about.”