Chapter 5
“It’s been so long and I don’t know where the time has gone. I have been wondering about what you’ve been up to. It’s so easy to lose sight of what really is important. I admit that I struggled to find my way, but my new husband to be has been nothing, but supportive of my career. He gave me the courage to keep fighting the good fight. I actually landed a commercial for a cosmetic company. I start filming next week and if all goes well, they will use me for every campaign from this moment on.” Mandy was beside herself and she wasn’t allowing Lynn to get a word in edgewise. “The rehearsal dinner is in two days and I do hope that you have something special you can wear. I don’t want a bachelorette party and the only excitement that I need is what my husband is going to give me on my wedding night.”
“I haven’t even given you my answer and you are assuming that I’m going to say yes. I don’t know if I can do that. I don’t know if I can be there for you on your big day. There’s no reason to sugarcoat it. I’m sure you know the reason…the reason.” She lost her train of thought. She looked up from your cup of coffee to see a familiar sight crossing the threshold. “This is exactly what I’ve been trying to avoid. I can’t see him and not feel a need to tell him how much I’ve missed him and what it did to me when he left me all alone.”
Bailey walked over to the table and was quite surprised to see Lynn had been requested for this meeting. He thought that he was having an early breakfast with his sister. He had come across the street from the hotel that he was staying at. He had gotten in a little late and going to knock on his parents’ door would have woken them from a dead sleep. “I see that we are catching up with old friends. From the look on your face, Mandy I’m guessing that she didn’t exactly jump at the opportunity to be your maid of honor. Maybe there’s something that I can do to convince her otherwise.” Bailey sat down and his hand landed on Lynn’s by accident.
Lynn felt that same electrical jolt. It was as if those five years were not even an issue. “I have a lot going on and I’m not sure that I can get away. I’m sure that there is no shortage of friends in your life that can step in where I can’t.” “I feel this need to kiss him and to pull him in closer. Instead, I casually pull away and I hope that I’m not sending mixed messages. I let his hand linger there a little bit too long. I couldn’t help it and those old feelings were coming to life. I want him to say that he will never leave me again, but I’m only asking that my heart be broken all over again.” “I don’t mean to disappoint, but you have to admit that this was a little short notice. I have responsibilities. I could show up for the wedding, but the responsibility of being maid of honor should go to somebody that has the time to devote to it.”
“Lynn, I know seeing each other is hard and that we left things pretty much in the air. I would never ask you for anything, but this is my sister’s big day. You can’t look into her eyes and tell her straight to her face that this is not going to happen. I think it goes without saying that a woman’s marriage is the best time of their life. Whatever they want, they should have without question.” Bailey couldn’t get over how beautiful his past love was. She didn’t look like she had changed in the last five years, except there was a little bit more experience in her eyes. The naiveté that he had seen on their last night together was gone and replaced with something of a burden weighing heavily on her heart. “Let me try to convince you over dinner. I’m sure that I can wrangle a reservation at one of the finest restaurants in this town. I know the owner of the bistro down the street and he owes me a favor for introducing him to his wife.” Bailey had no idea that this was her favorite spot and he was pretty much singing her tune.
“Brother, I don’t want her to do anything that she’s not comfortable with. I do think that you both need time to talk without the interference of a little sister. To be honest, I never understood why the both of you couldn’t make it work. The love in your eyes for one another was pretty damn clear to anybody that was looking. I don’t see a ring on either one of your fingers and maybe this is destiny bringing you back together again.” Mandy wasn’t going to beat a dead horse and decided to leave. She had pretty much gotten her answer, but she knew how persistent her brother could be.
Lynn tried to grab Mandy’s arm to tell her without saying anything that leaving them alone was not a good idea. She was practically feeling like something crawling over her skin and this yearning to jump across this table and straddle his waist was almost too hard to resist. “I don’t know what I’m going to do if I’m left with him. I have to remain cool and detached and the only way to do that is to stop thinking of him without his clothes on. I lick my lips with anticipation and I know that I could probably drag him back to his hotel room and give him something to smile about.” Lynn was unsure of how to proceed, but he did make a proposal and maybe taking him up on it would prevent any further and lingering doubts about her own libido driving her out of her mind.
“I think that my sister is a little transparent. It’s been a long time, Lynn and believe me I have thought about you fondly. You think that you can find the time from your busy schedule to have dinner with an old friend.” Bailey wasn’t assuming anything and the very fact that she was here was more than enough. He just wanted to extend the intimacy. “I thought by now that you would be married and have children.” Bailey saw her shift noticeably and this was a nervous habit that he had seen several times when they were dating back in the day. “I’m sorry if I have made any assumptions. I’m sure by now you have somebody special in your life and I would never want to cause you any problems. I’m sure that he would understand about old friends catching up. If it helps, I would be more than happy to come by and introduce myself, so that he doesn’t see me as a threat.”
Lynn grabbed his arm with her nails digging into his wrist. She didn’t mean to be that forceful, but having him come to the house was out of the question. “I don’t think that it’s necessary to come to my house. We can meet at the restaurant and avoid any kind of trouble.” I haven’t told him that I have a child and I really don’t want to make him feel the same way that others have when they learn the truth. I want this moment to go back in time, but can I really do that and not expect something to happen between us. I’m looking forward to dining with him, but can I really keep my hands off of him? That’s a question that I’m going to have to answer and the only way to do that is to put myself into a position where I’m going to have to see him and to smell him again. It’s amazing, but he still has that scent of sex in the air.”
“I would be my honor to accompany you to dinner. It’s been too long and I meant to stay in touch, but it just didn’t happen. I have no excuses. I’m sure that you thought of me as some playboy getting all that he can on the side. I’m not going to say that I’ve been a monk all these five years, but they’ve meant nothing to me. Nobody has gotten close enough to really touch my heart the way that you did. I’m sorry that I’m making it sound like I still carry a torch, but I think I do. I’ll see you at dinner and don’t even think about picking up the check. I know how independent you are, but this is on me.” Bailey got up reluctantly. He really didn’t want to leave, but he felt it was necessary to save face.
“I don’t want you to go.” She had blurted it out so quickly that she didn’t even realize that she had done such a thing. “Oh god… Please say that he didn’t hear that. I’m going to be so embarrassed. Keep walking and don’t turn around for god’s sake. I can’t stand to see your blue eyes and not do something about it. You turn and you look at me one more time and all bets are off. I have to do something to make him think that what he heard wasn’t exactly what I said.” “I know that you have to, but I kind of miss seeing you.” Lynn waited and she saw him turn and give her this smirk that had her melting.
“Did you just ask me not to go? What am I supposed to take from that, Lynn? What kind of game are you playing with me? You’d think that the man that you are involved with would have something to say about this? I didn’t come here to live out a fantasy that can never come true. Don’t tease me like this, unless you really want me to do something about it.” Bailey had lost his composure and now slammed his hand down on to the table making her jump. “I’ve never been able to get you out of my thoughts. You may have moved on, but I never did. I was always stuck in the past. I’ve tried to wrestle my way out of it by going to therapy, but nothing seems to work. Tell me what you want and stop beating around the bush. I don’t want to play these games anymore. Just be honest with me and I will try to do the same thing for you.” He really couldn’t believe that he was actually saying these words. He thought that he would be able to hold it together, but seeing her after all this time had broken down his resolve.
“The man in my life is the most important person, but you are the one that got away. You’re the one that I allowed to walk out of my life and not look back. Perhaps what I need is something to remind me of what we used to have. This way we can find some closure and close this chapter on our life.” “I look into his eyes and I see a man that has never loved another quite like he has with me. I can only hope that he’s not telling me what I want to hear. Is it possible that he wants one last fling with an old flame while he’s in town? Can I really deny him anything when he looks so damn delicious that I want to eat him with a spoon? He makes one more overture and I won’t be responsible for what I do next.”
“I have a suite across the street. It seems pretty damn lonely without anybody there with me. I only have it for a few more hours. I’m planning to spend my time with my family, but that doesn’t mean that precludes you. I didn’t think that I would feel this way upon seeing you again, Lynn. Why do things have to be so damn confusing? You’ve always had a piece of me and I was never able to get that back. Come with me and don’t even think about it. Just throw caution to the wind and do something totally spontaneous for the first time in your life. Tell me that you’re not at least considering the possibilities. Remember what it was like the last time and how much better it can be this time around.” Bailey was laying it on thick, but he thought the best way to deal with something like this was face on.
“You better not be teasing me. This better not be some sick joke that you’re going to throw in my face. I don’t think that I could ever recover from that.” Lynn had a catch in her throat and she looked away quite ashamed by having this kind of emotional outburst. She felt his fingers touch her chin. He dragged her eyes back to where they were currently staring into his very soul. “Fuck it… I need this and I think that we both need a final roll in the hay to end this relationship. Let’s do this for old time’s sake and let us never talk about it again.” She got up on shaky legs and had to lean on the table for support. “I don’t know if this is real or some kind of very vivid waking dream. It feels real and I can smell him and touch him, so why shouldn’t I take the bull by the horns. It’s not like I have a man of my own, but he doesn’t need to know that.”
“For the first time in my life, I believe that I might be speechless. I never thought for a moment that you would come with me like this, but I’m not going to try to talk you out of it. I look at you and I remember those times that we spent getting to know each other. I remember feeling frustrated and going home to satisfy myself. I couldn’t talk about that before, but we are consenting adults and what we do behind closed doors is not anybody else’s concern. Take my hand and let’s do this while we can do.” He extended his hand with palm up
“I can’t believe that we are even considering doing this. I don’t do anything like this and it’s not like I go to a bar every night to pick up some strange piece of ass. I’m not even going to ask how many lovers you’ve had in the five years, but something tells me that I don't want to know.