Molly

Everything was perfect and the more I tried to pull it together, the more I wanted to fall apart. Chris had thought of everything and now that he was here and we were getting married in a matter of minutes, I was shaking with the idea of it all and it was getting harder and harder to get it to stop. How was I supposed to go down the aisle if I was like this? Everyone I knew was crammed into the only church in town to see us finally get married and I had never been so nervous in all of my life.

There was a strange part of me that thought this was all a dream. It wouldn’t have been the first time that I’d dream something very similar to this. In the dream I would walk down the aisle and then Chris would leave or he was never there. I knew that he would be this time, in real life, but the dream me was worried that it was going to play out in that sort of way.

Denise was there to assure me, but there was no rational way to do so. I was all in my head and the only thing that was going to make me feel better was to just go on and get it over with before I lost my nerve and I was the one that didn’t make it.

“You’re going to be fine Molly. You two have a history. This isn’t like he is someone that you have just met. You know him well and you love him and you’re pregnant. There is more reason to do it than not to do it.”

She was right of course and I knew all of those things, but having history with someone wasn’t always a good thing. It meant that I knew all of his flaws, as well as he knew all of mine. We did know each other well, but that didn’t take away the fear that I couldn’t shake. I knew what he was capable of doing to me and even now I feared it.

“I know, but he is the only person that can hurt me.”

“And he is the only one that can make you smile like this. I have never seen you this happy. Stop standing in your own way and get down that aisle.”

I heard the music playing and it was time. I knew that I wasn’t going to really think this was happening until it was over. I made the first steps towards becoming his bride and I was relieved to see that he was there when I got there. Chris smiled at me and the wattage made me return the look. He looked so happy. I knew that I was going to always want to see that smile on his face. There was love there and I knew I had to take this chance. If I didn’t, I would regret it the rest of my life.

The preacher was the same one that we had gone to before when we were planning on getting married. He told us when we went to see him the day before that he was glad that we had come back together. He had said something about knowing that we were meant to be together and to me it was just another sign that it was fate that we were here and together, getting married. We were going to have the family that we had always talked about and I was going to have to do like Denise said and get over it all. It had worked out for the best and even though it was hard to imagine everything being okay, it was. It really was.

I couldn’t hear the words being said and I missed my cue to say something, but I was so wrapped up in the moment. It was like no one else was there besides me and Chris and everyone else fell into the background. He finally had to prompt me to say ‘I do’ because my brain was somewhere else. He looked relieved when I said the words and I didn’t realize that he was waiting for me to say it like it would ever be anything else.

The kiss was magical and it wasn’t even strange that we were in front of all of these people. I didn’t care. All I cared about was the fact that I was now his forever and he could try to leave, but I was his wife and I wasn’t going to let that happen.

“I can’t believe we actually did it.”

“It’s about time Molly. I feel like I have been waiting forever to get this done. We should have done this a long time ago.”

I had to agree, but I was in no shape to be having that sort of conversation. The day had been too much and I was ready for the rest of it. We hadn’t done anything sexual yesterday because there had been a lot to do. I even made him sleep on the couch last night so that we wouldn’t be tempted to. I wanted tonight to be special and being around him this long without touching him was killing me.

“Why don’t we get out of here?”

Chris looked at me with surprise and then a slow grin. “Where do you want to go?”

“Somewhere where we can be alone.”

“What about the reception?”

“There is free booze and food, what could anyone possibly have to say?”

“You drive a hard bargain.”

“I will make it worth your while.”

“I know you will.”

His eyes were smoldering with need and it was time for us to find such a spot. I needed him and the kiss had just started something that now needed to be finished.