What am I doing? After a day of being angry, it becomes obvious that it’s not worth the effort.

I love this woman. When you love someone so much, you have to give up yourself fully for that person. You have to sacrifice so much and sometimes these things happen. One person gets worried and the whole things collapses.

Well, if you don’t stop to pick up the pieces, nothing can be rebuilt again. If you wait too long to act, it can all go away. I don’t want this to go away. I don’t want it to end. There’s so much good in my life right now, but the only thing I can really focus on is my Olive. My cute, sweet, beautiful, and resilient Olive.

I behaved too harshly. I saw myself reflected in her eyes. It’s obvious why she might not trust a guy like me.

After all, I tried asking her out while I was out on a date with another woman. Maybe that wasn’t the best first impression.

It’s time for me to stop fucking around and messing things up. It’s time for me to act like a man. I want this woman and I need to make her feel that. That means I’m going to apologize.

Ultimately, being a man isn’t punching holes in walls or fucking like a boss. It’s about laying your life down for love and learning to grow from the experience. It’s about taking a giant leap of faith.

Close your eyes and let go.

When I open my eyes, I do so because there’s a loud knock against my door, followed by the ring of my bell. It’s her. I know it’s her because her knock has the marks of her sound. I run to the door before I can even get dressed. With a towel draped around my waist, I fling the door open and she’s standing right in front of me, bouncing on the edge of her feet.

She tries to say, “I’m sorry,” but I interrupt her with the biggest hug in the world.

“No,” I tell her. “Don’t. It’s all my fault. I’m really fucking sorry, Olivia. I never meant to hurt you.”

She tears up right in front of me again. “I was so scared you were going to be gone forever,” she says. “Are you leaving me for good? Is this really over that fast?”

“Hell no. I’m an idiot. A moron. I reacted so poorly. All I want is you, Olivia. I’ll always want you,” I tell her.

She steps inside, brushing against my chest. I look into her eyes and pull her even closer. I keep my hands tied around her waist. I don’t let go.

“I love you too,” she whispers back. “Forever and ever.”

Our lips crush together. Roses, chocolate, tongue against tongue, the taste of sugary sweet, yet dark at the edges. Words mean nothing. They’re so fucking trivial when all I care about is one word: Love.

I’ve turned into a fucking softie. So be it.

I slam the door behind us as we kiss. I feel her soft skin, under her shirt, as my hand slides up against her breasts. Her nipples brush against my skin as I take off her shirt.

“Fuck me,” she whispers. “Fuck me nice and hard.”

In the equivalent of a few seconds, her clothes are off, except for her panties. She falls to the carpet on all fours and crawls away from me. I grab her waist and bring her back to me. I roll back the middle of her panties.

“You’re so fucking wet, baby,” I moan.

I feel my cock grow to an unimaginable size. It swells underneath my briefs.

Before she can even whisper “fuck me” again, I mount her. I slide every inch of my cock inside her and I pound her from behind. Her smooth, slippery warmth hugs my shaft and begs for me to lose control.

I breathe in hard and deep. I run my hand up her back and hold onto her beautiful, long hair. I grab a fist full and pull back. She’s my toy tonight.

She’s already slamming her ass back, against me. Each cheek lands solidly against my pelvis. My balls smack the top of her pussy and the moaning grows so loud that I have to wonder if the whole neighborhood is listening to us right now.

She’s so fucking angelic. She’s everything I want to fight for. And right now, she’s all mine.

When I flip her onto her back, there’s no stopping me. I fuck her hard until she is drenched. One kiss against the middle of her neck and she starts trembling.

“Cole,” she moans. “I’m… cumming.”

Within seconds, she turns seismic, practically falling off of the cushion. She grabs onto my solid chest. I hold her tight.

“I’ll always love you,” she whispers.

Hearing those words makes me cum. One thrust is never enough for a guy like me, but she makes it too fucking hard to last.

By the second pump, my legs are shaking and my balls are tightening up. She completely drains me. I cum, gripping her arms tightly.

I fall back against the couch, panting for air. I kiss her one more time.

“We’re turbulent,” I say.

“We’re crazy,” she says.

She looks stunning against the pale light. Her skin shines a golden white and her eyes dazzle me.

“I think we’re most definitely certifiable,” I tell her. “If anything happened to you, they’d have to lock me up.”

“What would you do?” she asks, smiling.

“If someone hurt you or if something happened to you?” I ask. She nods, still smiling. “You really like this idea, don’t you?”

“Come on!” She begs. “Just tell me.”

“Most guys wouldn’t do anything. Some guys would grab a gun and start shooting,” I say.

“And you? What would you do?” she asks.

“As for me, I’d roll up my sleeves and start swinging. I’d really make sure they felt each knuckle as it hit against their skulls. If anyone ever hurts you, they’re going to know their mistake. They’ll never be able to walk straight again,” I say.

The words come with conviction because it’s something I absolutely believe. A man must be strong for his woman in every single way.

“You’d really let them have it, huh? To be honest, I don’t think I will even be able to walk straight again. You fuck me too good,” she says.

Her hand runs down to my cock, which immediately gets hard again.

I kiss her and press against her lips. I pin her against the cushion.

“Do I fuck you too hard?” I ask, knowing full well that she does.

“It could be harder,” she says.

She grins innocently. I jump up onto my feet and walk over to the coffee machine.

“I’ll work on my intensity,” I tell her. “Hey, so I’ve been thinking a little. You want to go somewhere with me? It’s a bit of a drive, but I figure we could make a day out of it.”

“You know I’ll go anywhere on my off days,” she says. “What did you have in mind?”

“Well, we’ve almost messed this thing up,” I say. “And I just have been realizing that I don’t ever want to lose you. I mean, I know I’ve said it before, but you don’t really know until you’ve lost the person of your dreams.”

“You never lost me, Cole,” she whispers. “I’m not going anywhere. No matter how much bad shit happens. I always want to be there by your side. You make me feel safe. You make me feel stronger.”

I flip on the coffee maker and listen as the water boils inside. Black liquid comes funneling out into the pitcher below.

“I know. But we’ve gotten close to calling this thing off and I just don’t want to ever get close to that again,” I say. “So will you come with me to my parents house for Christmas? I’m sure they’d love to see you.”

“Oh my God,” she says. “Yes, of course! This is going to be so great and so weird, and… Oh, where do I even start?”

“It’ll be fun,” I say. “We can eat ham and sing cheesy songs.”

“I’d love that, Cole,” she says.

Staring at the coffee pot, I start to imagine my life without her in it. My day would involve going to the station, eating lunch and working out non-stop. Sometimes, we’d get a call here and there.

I’d fall asleep with the television rumbling in the background and I’d repeat everything the next day. Every single day would run the same. Without her, I’d be lost to the monotony of how it used to be.

Then I think of what could be. Waking up in a better house than my own and hearing the sounds of footsteps downstairs. Running down the stairs to find my kids throwing cereal at each other.

I imagine the messes I’ll have to clean up and the diapers I’ll have to change. I think about the garden I’ll have to help Olivia maintain and the bills we’d have to pay.

There’s life in that kind of dream. There’s the opportunity for more of everything. That’s what this is.

It’s a fucking blessing for those who can feel this way. For those who are stuck on the outside, it seems like a curse.

I come out of my daydreams and I turn around, smiling.

“What’s so funny?” she asks me.

“Nothing,” I say.

“You’re hiding something,” she says.

“No, I’m not. I just love you. I can’t imagine a life without you,” I say.

But I am, of course, hiding something. I’m hiding a big secret. I’m going to marry this woman. In just a few days, I think I’m going to propose to her.