Charlotte
The next morning, I dragged myself through my morning routine, getting ready so I could get some last-minute Christmas shopping done. With just two days before Christmas, I was cutting it close, but I didn’t have time to get it done before this.
I walked out of the bedroom, and Talon was watching a college football game on TV. He glanced over at me and smiled.
“Looking good, gorgeous,” he said.
“Oh, please,” I said. “I always look good.”
He laughed. “I can’t disagree with that. You going to meet your parents?”
“I’ve got a hot date,” I said.
He raised an eyebrow at me. “Oh, really? Am I invited?”
I smiled and shook my head. “I’m meeting Katie.”
Talon nodded. “You switching teams on me? I love it. In that case, I’m definitely coming with you. I’ll just sit in the corner and watch.”
I rolled my eyes and laughed. “No, you pervert. We’re going to the mall to get some gifts.”
“You’re not done shopping?” he asked.
“Not quite,” I said. “I still need to grab a few things for you, which means you can’t be around.”
“You don’t have to get me anything,” he said. “Just wrap a bow around you, and that’s the only present I need this year.”
I groaned. “That’s so cheesy.”
It was cheesy, but it still made me feel good.
He laughed. “It’s not cheesy if it’s true.”
“It can be both, I guess,” I said. “But it’s nice to know I have that to fall back on if I can’t find anything for you.”
“Seriously, I don’t need anything,” he said. “I feel like I’m on the naughty list anyway. And not the good kind of naughty.”
I bobbed my head back and forth. “Well, I was just gonna buy you a lump of coal. And maybe some green pants.”
He laughed. “I’m never going to hear the end of that, am I?”
“Absolutely not,” I said. “That’s what you get for lying to me.”
“Okay, I guess that’s fair. Well, if I get green pants, I will love them and wear them, just because they’re from you.”
“Oh, yeah? Then I’m definitely going to find a pair and call your bluff.”
“Damn,” he said, chuckling. “When will I learn to shut my big mouth? No wonder I have to hide things from you.”
My smile faltered, and the humor evaporated from the room. I knew he was trying to be funny, but it hit way too close to home. I also felt like he’d let slip a nugget of truth with that joke. Despite all his assurances to the contrary, maybe he was hiding something from me.
I sighed and shook my head. Part of me wanted to pursue it, but I would rather just get out of here and go shopping with Katie. My mood hadn’t been ruined entirely yet, but if I kept talking to Talon about this, I knew I would lose my shit, and we’d end up in a huge fight.
I didn’t have the energy for that right now, especially when I knew it wouldn’t fix anything. No matter how much I yelled or screamed, he wouldn’t come clean with me. If he were hiding something, I’d just have to figure it out on my own. Talking or fighting about it was an exercise in futility, and I was done butting my head up against that brick wall.
I gave Talon a quick goodbye, and I left.
It was a cool, wintry day in San Diego, and I inhaled the chill air as I drove to Katie’s. The frosty air invigorated me, making me feel alert and alive. I felt better now than when I left the apartment, although the uneasy feelings churning in my stomach were far from settled.
I picked up Katie, and we headed to the mall. The place was packed with people looking for last-minute gifts like I was. The stores weren’t as picked over as I thought they would be, but the employees walked around with dead-eyed stares, like combat veterans who had been through some serious shit.
I was looking for something for Talon, but this year, it was difficult to know what to get him. He’d always been a guy with simple tastes, and he never talked about the things he wanted or needed. Whatever I bought for him, I was sure he would like it, just because that was the kind of guy he was. Still, I wanted to get him something special. Something that showed him I cared about him. Not something expensive, but something personal and thoughtful. Something that showed him I knew who he was and what he liked.
Of course, he’d been so distant lately, and I just wasn’t sure what he was thinking or feeling these days. We’d mostly made up after our big fight, and we’d talked a little bit about my concerns, but we still hadn’t talked through everything. I knew there was a bigger, deeper discussion that needed to happen at some point. I just didn’t know how to get Talon to open up so we could have that conversation.
The whole situation had me on edge, and I was still feeling weird about things. As much as I didn’t want to bring up my problems with Talon to Katie, it was impossible for me to stay silent.
“Talon is lying to me about something,” I said.
Katie looked up from the rack of dresses. “This again?”
“Yes, this again,” I said. “Nothing has changed since the last time we talked. If anything, I’m more worried than ever.”
“If nothing has changed, why are you even more upset about it now?” she asked.
“I don’t know,” I said, sighing. “Before, I guess I just had suspicions that he was hiding something important from me. Now, I’m almost certain of it. It’s just little things he says and does that make me think I’m right.”
“You still don’t have any proof, right?” Katie asked. “It’s all still in your head?”
“It’s not just in my head, Katie. Something is wrong, and it’s driving me crazy.” Without warning, I was almost in tears. Powerful emotions swelled up in my chest, making it hard to breathe.
“Come here,” Katie said. She wrapped her arms around me in a tight hug, and I leaned my head into her shoulder, somehow holding back the tears that threatened to spill out of me. Katie rubbed my back, comforting me.
“Listen,” she said. “I know you’re worried, but I still think you need to pull yourself together and try to calm down.”
She let me go, and I pulled away. “It would be easier for me to calm down if Talon would just talk to me.”
Katie shrugged. “Maybe there’s nothing for him to talk to you about.”
“If that’s true, then why do I feel so torn up inside?”
“I don’t know,” Katie said. “And I’m not trying to belittle your feelings. I just don’t see any point in worrying if you’re not one hundred percent sure that something is wrong or that he’s hiding something.”
I sighed. “Maybe you’re right. Maybe I should stop worrying and just keep going as if everything is normal. I’m just afraid these feelings won’t be going away anytime soon.”
Katie nodded. “Well, maybe just get through Christmas. It’s right around the corner, and you don’t want to ruin your holiday by torturing yourself with doubts. Just embrace the Christmas spirit and be happy. After that, you can go psycho on his ass.”
I laughed. “That’s not a bad idea.”
“I know,” Katie said. “I give great advice.”
I rolled my eyes, giggling. “Okay, if you’re so good at advice, help me find some gifts for Talon.”
“Is that what you’re looking for today?” she asked. “Talk about waiting until the last minute. And for your boyfriend? Are you sure you love him as much as you say you do?”
I shot her a sour look, and she laughed. “You know damn well I love him,” I said.
“Then it shouldn’t be that hard to find him presents that he likes,” Katie said. “What is he in to?”
“He doesn’t really have any hobbies,” I said. “I mean, with school, there’s not a lot of time for much more than studying. With the free time we do have, he likes the normal stuff. Watching movies, listening to music, eating. I guess he kind of likes to cook, or maybe he just does that because I’m so bad at it.”
“Yeah, I’ve had your food,” Katie said, grimacing. “You’re lucky you’re pretty.”
I laughed. “Gee, thanks.”
“You’re welcome,” she said, grinning. “But back to the gifts, everything you just mentioned is something you could buy for him.”
“You think?” I asked.
“Yeah. What’s his favorite movie?”
I thought about it. “He loves The Good, the Bad and the Ugly.”
Katie nodded. “Classic Clint Eastwood as a cowboy? I can get behind that. Does he own a copy of that?”
“He has it on DVD, but not on Blu-ray. I can totally get him that.”
“There you go,” Katie said. “Now, what about music? Any bands he likes?”
“He’s been getting into the Rolling Stones lately.”
“Damn, Charlotte. Are you dating a seventy-year-old man or what?”
I laughed and shook my head. “I think it’s cool he likes old school stuff. It makes him unique.”
“I guess,” Katie said. “On the plus side, he likes old shit, so if the two of you get married, he’ll love you when you’re an old bag.”
“Yeah, like that’s ever going to happen,” I said.
“No,” Katie said, holding up her palm. “None of that. You’re in Christmas mode, remember? So grab him a Stones CD. Or maybe an old vinyl copy, since he was obviously born in the wrong century.”
“That’s not a bad idea,” I said.
“And he likes to cook, so get him something for the kitchen. Like a cookbook or an apron that says, ‘Kiss the cook.’”
I laughed. “You know, I take it back. You are good at giving advice.”
“I told you so,” she said.
“And now that I think about it, he was looking at a watch a few months back,” I said. “Maybe it’s still at the store.”
“Was it a pocket watch?” Katie asked. “Since he’s such an old fart.”
“No,” I said, giggling. “It’s a regular watch. And it would be perfect for his big gift.”
“Well, let’s grab this stuff and get the hell out of here,” she said. “This place is so crowded, I’m starting to hate people.”