Charlotte
My mom had a dreamy expression on her face as she stared at all the Christmas decorations in the mall. A seemingly infinite amount of lights had been strung along every surface, giving the world a fairytale glow. Everything seemed a little more magical when covered in Christmas lights.
A pair of huge, twenty-foot tall nutcrackers were in the center of the first floor. They smiled at the crowds with their painted-on grins, and their cheeks were red with Christmas cheer. But what really mesmerized my mother was the giant-sized ornaments hanging from the ceiling.
There had to be thousands of Christmas balls of every size and color hanging down from the second floor. They were grouped up in a loose square shape, but there were so many of them it was overwhelming.
We both stared up in amazement at the display. I would have felt silly gawking like that, but we weren’t the only people with their necks craned back and their mouths agape.
“It’s absolutely beautiful,” my mom said.
I nodded. “It is.”
“I wish I could do something like that at the house next year,” she said.
“I don’t think that would work.”
She frowned. “Don’t be silly. Your father is handy. He can figure out how to set something like that up. And if you and Talon come visit, you can help.”
I shrugged. “Yeah, I don’t know about that.”
My mom stopped walking and looked at me. “What is that supposed to mean? You don’t want to come visit us next year?”
I sighed. “It’s not that. You know what? Forget I said anything.”
She shook her head firmly. “Well, I can’t forget about it now. Clearly, something is wrong. You know you can talk to me, Charlotte. I might not be able to help, but I’m a good listener, and I’ve been around for a long time. I know a thing or two about a thing or two.”
I didn’t want to burden my mother with my silly doubts about my relationship with Talon, but I needed to tell someone. Sure, I’d told Katie about it, but she dismissed my fears outright, barely even giving them any thought. Maybe a second opinion was just what I needed.
“Okay,” I said. “It’s probably nothing, but it’s been nagging at me for a little while now. And it keeps building inside, and I’m kind of freaking out.”
“What is it, honey?”
“I think Talon has been hiding something from me,” I said. “I can’t pinpoint what makes me think that, exactly, but I can’t shake the feeling that he’s keeping secrets.”
My mom nodded, looking serious. “What do you think he’s hiding?”
I shook my head. “I have no idea. To be honest, that’s what’s bothering me the most. Talon is usually so open with me. He tells me everything about his life, like what he did that day and what he’s planning on doing the next day.”
“And he’s not doing that anymore?” my mother asked.
“No, not really. We still talk and stuff, but he’s closed off, like he’s holding back. Like he’s nervous, or guilty, or something. And when I ask him about it, he completely shuts me down.”
My mother’s face took on a stormy look. “Shuts you down how?”
It felt good to know my mother still felt so protective of me. Even the idea that Talon is being mean to me got her maternal instincts riled up, like a mother lioness protecting her cub. I put my hand on her arm and gave her an affectionate squeeze.
“It’s nothing bad or hurtful, Mom. When I say he shuts me down, I don’t mean like he shuts me up. It’s just that he always finds a way to dodge my questions and change the subject, like he did when Daddy asked us about getting married.”
My mother smiled at the memory. “That was pretty fun. The two of you were squirming in your seats like you had ants in your pants.”
“We did not!” I protested.
My mother shrugged. “Whatever you say, dear.”
“Anyway,” I said. “Speaking of the marriage question, the way Talon avoided answering it sort of bothered me.”
“Oh, that was nothing,” my mom said, smiling at me.
“Was it? Cause I’m not so sure. Talon and I have never actually talked about getting married, but I always assumed we were on the same page about that. Like our relationship was always moving in that direction. Maybe not anytime soon, but eventually. And now, I’m not so sure.”
“Wow, you weren’t kidding when you said you were freaking out about this.”
“I’m really scared, Mom. I don’t know what’s going to happen with our relationship anymore. I feel so lost, and I don’t know what to do.”
My mom led me over to a nearby bench, and we sat down. My hands twisted together in my lap like they always did when I was nervous. My eyes roamed over the people walking past us in a never-ending stream. Families walked in clumps with tired looking parents herding their excited kids from store to store. Couples walked hand in hand, leaning against each other like they couldn’t get close enough.
Seeing scenes like that usually made me happy. I wanted that. All of that. The close, loving relationship. The rambunctious kids that wore me out but filled me with love and life, too. But today it just made me feel miserable. I thought that was where my life was heading, but now, I wasn’t so sure. The uncertainty of it all ate at me from the inside.
“Do you love him?” my mom asked, breaking my train of thought.
“I do,” I said, without hesitation.
“Does he love you?”
“Yes,” I said. “Even with all these doubts and secrets, I believe in my heart that he loves me.”
“Good,” she said. “I don’t know what’s going on with you two, or if he’s keeping secrets or whatever. But my guess is that you’re both just tired and stressed out from finals. You’re always a bit of a wreck around exams. I’m sure he’s no different.”
“You think that’s all this is?” I asked.
“Most likely. What you need to do is take tomorrow night, and make it just about the two of you. Your father and I will leave you alone. Go out to a nice dinner. Have some drinks. And when you get home, well, remind that man why he fell in love with you in the first place.”
“Mom!”
She laughed. “What? I didn’t tell you to fuck his brains out.”
“Oh my God, Mom. Stop.”
“But it wouldn’t be bad advice,” she said. “You know, what I like to do is—”
“Nope, nope, nope,” I said, covering my ears and getting to my feet. “I can’t hear this.”
“Well, you asked for my advice,” she said, following me as I walked away. She was clearly having way more fun with this conversation than I was.
“Yeah, but not about that.” She opened her mouth to speak again, but I cut her off. “Okay, okay, Talon and I will go out tomorrow. Let’s just leave it at that.”