I followed Evie inside the Rossi house. I smelled garlic and butter. As soon as we were inside, I was reminded that Evie and I had very different upbringings.

We had talked about how our lives in Newton Hills had crossed and intersected but they didn’t mirror each other. My parents hosted New Year’s Eve balls and galas at the country club. The people who visited the Hartwell estate were loosely called friends. What they were was business associates. We didn’t have old-fashioned Christmases. We had the staff prepare meals while my parents bitched that all the presents were the wrong ones.

Evie’s house was the opposite. I had passed by here a hundred times and never been invited in, until now.

The staircase was lined with pictures of Evie and Frannie at every milestone. At the top of the hall I could see pictures of the Rossi grandchildren. There weren’t any giant oil paintings of a grim wealthy family anywhere. No, instead the pictures were snapshots of happy kids. Vacations at the Grand Canyon. Summers at the lake. Evie holding a puppy. Frannie in her cheerleading uniform.

“You ok?” Evie tugged on my wrist.

“Yeah. Just looking around.”

“Don’t say anything about the wallpaper,” she whispered. “My mom wants to rip it out and my dad doesn’t want to. They’ve been bickering about it for five years.”

“Good tip.” I followed her into the kitchen through the family dining room.

Everyone was circled around the butcher block island.

“They’re here!” Two kids squealed and jumped off their chairs, straight into Evie’s arms.

“Hi, ladybug.” She knelt holding them against her.

“Aunt Evie, where have you been? Is he our uncle?” They stared at me.

“Yes, this is Uncle Jeremy.”

I had never heard those words together before. It sounded strange. I hadn’t considered that I was now someone’s uncle just because I got married.

“Hey, kids.”

“Jeremy, this is Rosie, June—I call her Junebug or ladybug—and this is Samuel.” She tapped each one on the head.

If I could remember this morning’s stat sheets, I could get three kids’ names straight. I was good with names. My memory never failed me.

Frannie walked over. “Hi, again.”

“Cute kids.” I smiled. I might know the names, but I was never going to remember who was who. They ran in circles.

“I want you to meet Marcus.” Frannie waved her husband over.

I extended my hand toward my brother-in-law’s. “Nice to meet you, man.”

“Likewise.” He had a surprisingly firm grip. “I followed your career in the majors. I played in high school, myself.”

Frannie slapped him on the chest. “You were in a rec league, honey. It’s not the same”

“Ball is ball,” I tried to help the guy out. He had a small build. He was more wiry than I expected.

“Thanks.” He nodded toward me just as Evie’s parents stepped away from the stove. They had been waiting in the wings to make their own greeting.

The kids ran out of the room and Marcus and Frannie stepped aside. I forced myself not to tug on my collar. It suddenly felt like a fucking sauna in here. Why were there so many ovens on?

Evie folded her arms around her father. “Hey, Dad. It smells great in here.”

“I made your favorite.” He released her, his eyes on mine.

Mrs. Rossi reached her hands for my cheeks. She was a petite woman. I hadn’t forgotten what Evie told me about her battle with breast cancer. This woman might be small, but she was a fighter. She was strong. I knew she was protective of her family. She seemed to have warmed up to our marriage faster than her husband had.

“We’re so glad you’re here, Jeremy.”

I leaned down to let her hug me.

She stepped back, watching her husband closely. “Marco.” She poked him in the ribs.

It sounded like all the air had been sucked out of the room. I could tell everyone was holding their breath.

Mr. Rossi cleared his throat.

“Dad,” Evie whispered.

I knew I couldn’t make the first move. I was in his territory. I had taken his daughter. This was his moment—not mine. If the man wanted me to sweat it out, that’s what I had to do. In front of the entire family. Sweat bullets until he was ready.

“Son.” He rolled his tongue in his mouth. “There are a lot of things we need to talk about.”

Fuck. This was off to a bad start.

“But,” he continued. “This weekend is about celebrating you and Evie. Dinner is almost ready.”

It wasn’t an open-arm welcome, but I’d take it. It could have gone worse.

“Thank you, sir.” I’d wait until after dinner to ask about the woodshop.

Evie smiled. “Let’s go see what the kids are doing.” She pulled me into the dining room. The air was cooler in here.

I’d made it through the first stage of Rossi initiation. Only two days to go and I’d be fully indoctrinated. I wiped my forehead. I hadn’t thought about this part when I married Evie. I never considered her parents or anyone else in her family.

I knew that was because I wasn’t anchored to anyone like she was. There was nothing keeping me in Newton Hills. Nothing to bring me back. There wasn’t joy here. There wasn’t a house full of my achievements. No scrapbooks. No baby book. Not even my Little League trophies.

I never thought about her family, because I never thought about mine. I was free, or at least that’s how I viewed it. We were adults. Thirty years old. I shouldn’t have to ask or consult anyone.

As Evie’s family chattered around us and her mom and sister set the table while Marcus chased the kids down the hall, I didn’t think I could define freedom the same way anymore. What she had here wasn’t a life in chains. She wasn’t stuck. She wasn’t a prisoner. What she had in Newton Hills was a life with people who cared about her. People who shared things together like birthdays and dance recitals. People who shared grief and tragedy, and celebrated weddings and babies. This is what a family was supposed to be. This is what I never saw up close.

I walked outside, resting my hands on the railing. I took a deep gulp of air, watching my breath curl in the cold. It was supposed to snow tonight.

Had I pulled her away? Should I have left Evie where she was? I couldn’t do what they could for her. I recognized it. I realized it, but that didn’t mean I could change. I wasn’t Mr. Rossi. I didn’t know how to make a damn lasagna or build a kitchen table with my bare hands.

The door opened and I heard soft footsteps behind me.

“Everything ok?” Evie was at my side.

“I just needed some air.”

“It can be overwhelming, especially with the kids.” She rubbed her arms. “Marcus always gets them riled up before dinner and now Frannie is having to put everyone in time out. It will be quiet for exactly ninety seconds.”

“I’ll be inside in a minute.”

“Jer, you sure you’re ok?”

What right did I have to take her away from all of this? I couldn’t give her half the love and warmth her family could. It wasn’t in me. I wasn’t programmed like she was. It wasn’t in my DNA. Maybe it was a blessing the pregnancy test was negative. She had dodged a bullet not having my baby. There would be one less cold Hartwell in this world.

“Jer.” She curled up under my arm. “You’re freezing. And I heard someone mention trivia. We can take Frannie and Marcus down. Marcus thinks he’s good, but his pop culture skills are dismal.”

“I shouldn’t be here, Evie.”

“What?” I felt her shiver next to me. “My dad will come around. That was his way of saying he’s ok. It’s going to take some time, but—”

“Not your dad.” I cut her off.

“Did someone else say something to you?” She searched my eyes.

I shook my head. “I didn’t know what I was costing you until tonight.” I pulled my arm away from her and took a step back. “I should go.”

“Go?” She put her hands on her hips. “You’re going to leave? We’re about to sit down for dinner.”

“I can’t do this. I can’t be this for you.”

“Be what? What are you talking about?” Her hands flew in the air.

“That.” I pointed to the window where we could see everyone bustling around the table. “I can’t be that for you. I can’t give you anything they do. Every single person in that room can do something I can’t.”

“Who asked you to do that?” She shot back.

“I know it’s what you need.”

“You don’t get to decide what I need. I decide what I need.” Her soft brown eyes were blazing. “I decided I needed you.” She held up her left hand. “Remember this deal we have? ‘Til death do us part?”

I closed my eyes. “It’s because of that. Because I love you. I see it right in front of us.”

“Today sucked,” she whispered. “But it sucked a little less because of you, Jer. Because you were there with me. There’s no one inside who could do what you did for me. I know that, because they were all I had when I went through this before. And I never felt better. I never let it go. I would have stayed home with gallons of ice cream.” She stepped toward me. “You do something they can’t do. You push me when I need to be pushed. You make me laugh. You do the things only a husband can do.”

“I was never supposed to be a husband.”

“I’m your wife, Jer. Yours.” She touched my arm. “I need you.”

There was so much fucking good in her. So much innocence. So much ambition to do the right thing. She was a product of this house. Of this family.

It hurt under my ribs. The thought of leaving her. It was as if someone had shoved a knife in my lungs. I couldn’t bear the thought of taking a step off this porch and telling Evie goodbye. It’s what I should have done. It’s what a good man would have done.

He would have walked away before he corrupted her anymore. Before he pulled her into the dark shadows that were behind every Hartwell curtain.

The door opened and the kids ran onto the porch. “Uncle Jeremy, it’s time for dinner.” Their munchkin voices rang as they erupted in giggles.

Evie looked at me. “Well?”

I pulled her against my chest, crushing her with a rough kiss. I drank from her lips like they were my last sips of water. Like I was a dying man, fulfilling his final wish. Like she was a life raft that could save me. She purred as my hands covered her body.

The kids started squawking, “K-I-S-S-I-N-G.”

I wanted to tell them to go back inside. I needed time with my wife. I needed to drown out the noise and the doubts. I did that best buried inside her. My cock throbbed for her.

“Jer,” she whispered, feeling how hard I was.

“Shit.” I pressed my forehead to hers. “I need you too. Now.”

She shook her head. “No way. We are going inside to eat the most amazing lasagna you’ve ever had and then we are going to beat my sister and her husband at trivia. And then, when we get back to the townhouse, if we have any energy left…” She turned to see that the children were out of ear’s distance. “…you can fuck me.”

“Damn.”

She tugged on my hand. “Let’s go. They’re waiting.”

I wasn’t ready yet. I grabbed her waist. “I’ll never leave you, Evie. I was just thinking out loud.”

“I know that.” She smiled. “We both have demons to face. But swear to me, no more talk about doing this on our own. You made me believe we’re a team.”

“We are.” I kissed her temple before we walked inside. “We are.”