Chapter Five
When I got out of the shower, I felt much better. It actually felt good to have said all of that out loud, for someone to finally know some of what I went through. I never thought it would, but saying the words out loud took some of the anger away that was always boiling just under the surface.
I sat on my bed wrapped in my towel. So far, Ashton had been nothing but nice to me, and I’d repaid him by blurting out all of that horrible stuff and being a bitch to him. My gaze fell on my drawer that housed my swimwear. I chewed on my lip. I somehow felt like I owed him something – and he wanted to see the lake. Maybe, just for today, I could cut him some slack. It would be nice to take in some sunshine, and I loved the lake too.
I sighed as I made up my mind. Gripping my hair, I scraped it back into a messy bun before heading over to my drawers and pulling out my black, all in one swimsuit. After slipping it on, I covered it with a pair of baggy jeans and a long tee.
When I knocked on Ashton’s bedroom door I heard bedsprings creak from inside before he opened it, seeming surprised to see me.
I smiled awkwardly. “Hi.”
“Hi,” he replied softly. He still looked upset.
I took a deep breath. “So, I’m sorry I went off on one at you. I shouldn’t have said all those things to you, that wasn’t fair of me, so I apologise.”
He smiled weakly. “You don’t have to apologise, Anna. I want you to be able to tell me things and trust me with it. I promise I won’t say anything to anyone if you don’t want me to.”
I nodded. “Thanks. Well, I was wondering if you still wanted to go for that swim.” I winced, waiting for him to tell me to take a hike or something for being such a bitch to him. Instead, he grinned and his whole face lit up.
“Yeah, I do,” he said cheerfully.
“Okay, well I’ve asked Sarah to take you,” I teased, laughing.
“Ha ha, you’re hilarious,” he muttered sarcastically, reaching for my hand and giving me a tug into his bedroom.
I glanced at the bed; the pillows were propped up against the headboard, and my book was face down on the middle of the bed. I grinned and pointed to it. “So, where you up to?”
“Edward and Bella have just arrived at the baseball field,” he replied, going to his drawers and grabbing a pair of black shorts. “I’m just gonna go put these on. You need to get a swimsuit on or something?” he asked, heading towards his bathroom.
“No, I’ve already got mine on,” I answered, shrugging.
“Oh yeah? What would have happened if I’d said I didn’t want to go?” he asked, raising his eyebrows.
I shrugged easily. “I would’ve taken Dean. He was obviously feeling left out earlier. He wouldn’t turn me down,” I joked, smiling at him.
He laughed and shook his head. “I wouldn’t turn you down either.” He smiled and then disappeared into the bathroom.
I sat on his bed and grabbed the book just for something to do. He had his page marked so I flicked it open and a photo fell out that he was using as a bookmark. I turned it over to look at it. It was of him and four other guys. He had his arm around a blond guy next to him; they were all grinning and laughing, but that wasn’t the reason why I couldn’t look away from it.
All five of them were dressed in black SWAT uniforms. Ashton had a huge gun hanging off his shoulder and another smaller gun strapped to this side. He looked so sexy that my mouth actually started to water and my body started to get hot all over. I couldn’t drag my eyes away from his smiling face in the photo, he looked so happy. I silently wondered who the other guys were and if they were close. The uniform was the hottest thing I’d ever seen.
“Hey, don’t lose my page.”
I jumped a mile, shoving the photo back into the book and snapping it shut. I hadn’t even heard him come back into the room because I was too busy perving on his photo. “Er yeah right, I won’t.” I dropped the book quickly, praying I wasn’t blushing.
“You ready to go then?” he asked, folding two towels and putting them under his arm.
“Yep. Did you want to take a row boat over to the floating dock?” I asked as we walked through the house.
“Sounds good. Let’s stop and get snacks first,” he suggested, rubbing his flat stomach in a small circle. His hand closed around mine as we walked and I looked down at it, unsure what to think or feel. His plan was to hold hands a little each day so that I’d get used to it before we went to school, but I hadn’t expected it to actually work. But with his warm hand wrapped around mine, I realised that I actually quite liked the feel of it.
After a quick stop in the kitchen to grab several packs of cookies and chips, some fruit and a couple of bottles of water, I led him through the vast grounds and over to the little jetty around the back of my parents’ property.
“Which one do you want to take?” I questioned, nodding at the row boats that were tied there. They were all the same, just painted different colours.
“How about blue, that’s my favourite colour,” he said and I smiled as he climbed into the boat, setting down the bag of food he’d insisted on carrying.
When he turned back to help me, I scoffed and knocked his hand away. “I’m not some damsel that needs everything doing for her,” I muttered, shaking my head as I jumped lightly into the boat.
He sighed dramatically and sat down. “Right I forgot, Little Miss Independent.” He rolled his eyes, smiling at me.
I grinned and grabbed the oars, starting to row in the general direction of the floating dock. “You can row back,” I offered, chuckling at his disgruntled expression.
“You’re not letting me be very romantic,” he grumbled, crossing his arms in mock annoyance.
“Why the hell would you want to be romantic?” I asked, laughing.
“Well, I’m not making a very good impression on our first date, am I?” he replied, pouting.
Oh my God, date? He doesn’t think this is an actual date, does he? “This isn’t a date,” I said quietly.
He laughed. “Yeah, it kinda is. You are my girlfriend after all,” he countered, shrugging.
I stiffened at the word ‘girlfriend’. “No I’m not. My boyfriend died. You’re just doing your job,” I retorted, glaring at him angrily.
His face dropped and his eyes tightened. “Anna, I was just kidding. I meant if people ask, we can say this was our first date. I mean, we’ve gotta have stories and stuff, right?” he continued cautiously.
I sighed and ignored him, rowing harder until we reached the floating dock that was almost in the middle of the lake. When the boat bumped against the edge of the dock, he jumped out, tying it securely before holding his hand down to help me up.
“I don’t need your help,” I protested, annoyed again.
He sighed deeply. “Listen, Anna, this is what guys do for their girls. We need to start acting like a couple now so that it’ll be easier next week. It’s not a big deal; I just want to help you out of the boat. Please stop being difficult,” he countered, grabbing my hand and helping me onto the deck. “Jeez, you’re stubborn.” He shook his head, laughing. “Most girls would’ve fallen for my charm by now,” he boasted, smiling at me.
I snorted at his cocky attitude. “If you’re expecting me to fall for you, then you’re going to be very disappointed,” I said seriously.
He chuckled. “I know, I can tell,” he answered, grinning. I rolled my eyes at him and took my jeans off, plopping down on the dock in just my long, baggy T-shirt. I grabbed an apple out of the bag, nibbling on it absentmindedly.
When he stripped down to his shorts, exposing that incredible toned and tanned body that looked like something out of a celebrity magazine, I slipped on my shades so that he wouldn’t see my eyes wander in his direction. I forced my gaze away from him and focussed on my apple. I actually felt immensely guilty for looking at him in that way. I had never looked at a man the way I kept looking at Ashton, not since Jack. No one ever caught my interest, and I felt like I was being unfaithful to Jack’s memory by looking at my new guard.
Ashton sat down next to me, stretching out his long legs. “Let’s start with the getting to know each other. What’s your favourite colour?” he asked casually.
“Green,” I answered, closing my eyes and lying back on the wooden dock. I loved it out here; the way the dock rocked slightly on the water was soothing. I often came out here and just lay in the peace and quiet.
“Favourite flower?”
“Dandelion,” I replied, then bit my lip. “I mean roses, white roses,” I amended, frowning.
“Dandelions? You like weeds? Why?” he asked, eyeing me curiously.
Oh for goodness’ sake! Why does this guy want to know everything about me and always see through my lies? I sighed. “Jack gave me a big bunch of dandelions when he asked me out when we were five,” I admitted, smiling at the memory.
He laughed. “That’s sweet. He sounds like he was a nice guy.” I nodded, and he smiled at me. “Maybe he was a bit cheap though,” he added jokingly.
I smiled and looked at him. “He was a great guy, you’d have liked him, everyone liked him.” I rolled onto my front, putting my arms under my chin, watching the water ripple around the dock.
There was an uncomfortable silence for a few minutes before he spoke again. “Favourite food? Mine’s a tuna melt baked potato because that’s about the only thing I can cook,” he laughed.
“Seriously, you can’t cook? Do you still live with your parents? Does your mommy do everything for you? I bet she still washes your clothes,” I teased, grinning at him.
A sad smile crossed his face. “My parents died when I was ten, I grew up in foster homes,” he replied. “And no, I can’t cook. I’m pretty good at burning stuff though.”
I winced and looked at him apologetically because of my insensitive joke about his mom. “I’m sorry, I didn’t know. I shouldn’t have said that.”
He smiled and shook his head, shrugging casually. “It’s fine; it was a long time ago. Favourite food?”
“Er, chocolate fudge cake? I’m a dessert girl,” I admitted, smiling, grateful for the change of subject.
He laughed. “Right, I should have guessed by the size of you,” he joked, poking me in the ribs.
“Hey, don’t make fun of a girl’s weight!” I scolded, trying to look stern. I knew he was joking though; I worked out a lot, so my figure was toned, I just hid it under baggy clothes so no one could see.
“Whoa there, sorry, ma’am,” he replied, holding up his hands in an ‘I surrender’ fashion. My stomach fluttered when he called me ‘ma’am’. From his mouth, it actually sounded incredibly sexy.
The questioning continued for about another hour and in that time I learnt a lot about him. He’d graduated two days ago – this was his first proper assignment. He’d never been undercover before. He was originally from Boston but moved around a lot because of the foster homes. He had no other family or siblings. His best friend from the academy was called Nate, and he was like a brother to him. They shared an apartment in LA. Apparently, he did know how to wash his own clothes. His dream job was SWAT Front Line.
He was really easy to talk to and was actually a funny guy. We ate while we talked, and boy he can eat a lot! I’d never seen anyone pack away as much food as he did, not without feeling sick anyway.
“How long shall we say we’ve been together?” he asked cautiously as he polished off the last pack of chips.
I shrugged. “I don’t care.” It honestly didn’t matter how long we said we’d been together. It wasn’t like a load of people were going to be hanging around and chatting to us about our relationship.
“I think we should go for a year. That way we won’t have to be too touchy-feely. People are usually over that first passion thing by a year, aren’t they?” he asked thoughtfully. I glanced at him and laughed as I realised why he seemed so unsure. “What?” he asked, grinning.
“Have you never had a relationship before?” I asked curiously. It seemed impossible that a gorgeous guy like him was without a girlfriend.
“Nope, not really. I mean, I’ve been out with girls but never seriously. You’ll be my first,” he joked, winking at me.
I raised one eyebrow knowingly. “And by never seriously, you mean you screw girls for fun before you screw them over,” I retorted.
He frowned, looking a little hurt. “I don’t screw girls over! I just never really met anyone I wanted to be with properly before, and even if I had met the right girl, I wouldn’t have had time, my training took up a lot of my time,” he protested, shrugging.
“You’re a player.”
“I am not!” he protested adamantly.
I nodded, giving him a sarcastic expression and laughed. “Whatever! Wanna swim?” I stood up, throwing my shades down onto his pile of clothes.
“Sure. Is the water warm?” he asked, sticking his foot in. He immediately gasped and jerked his foot out. “Holy shit! That’s freezing. We can’t swim in that,” he mumbled, shaking his foot to dry it.
“Oh quit being a baby, I thought you were a tough guy,” I teased.
“Yeah, I can fight and shoot bullets, but man, that is cold!” he whined like a little girl.
I pulled my T-shirt off over my head. When I looked back at him, he was staring at me, his mouth was slightly open, and his eyes were wide and raking over my body slowly. My stomach tightened into a knot when I realised he was checking me out. I wanted to pull the shirt back on and run, but there was something in his eyes that made me want to trust him; I knew he wouldn’t hurt me. So instead of putting the shirt back on, I folded it up deliberately slowly before dropping it on top of my jeans.
He hadn’t moved. It was like he was stuck on the spot, just staring at me. Taking advantage of his distraction, I stalked over to his side, smiling sweetly. When I got closer to him, my heart started to speed up fractionally, but it wasn’t from fear. When I was close enough, I raised my hands, putting them on his chest, making his full lips part and his eyes tighten. I grinned wickedly and shoved on his chest as hard as I could. Distracted, he lost his footing and stumbled backwards into the lake.
I burst out laughing as he broke the surface again, gasping and immediately swimming for the ladder. “Holy shit, that’s cold!” he rasped. I quickly moved to the ladder, sitting down and dangling my legs into the cold water so that he couldn’t get out. “Come on, let me out, it’s freezing!” he whined, half climbing out of the water so that we were at the same level.
“No way. You’re in now, you’ll get used to it in a minute or two,” I said confidently.
A wicked smile slipped onto his face as his arm snaked around my waist. I gasped, knowing too late what was happening. His body twisted and he threw me into the water. The cold shocked my body and made me stiffen automatically; I kicked for the top and gasped when my head broke the surface.
“Oh shit,” I groaned, squeezing my eyes shut, kicking my legs to stay afloat as the cold water attacked my system.
“Bet you want to get out now, huh?” he asked from behind me. I looked back at him; he was standing on the dock, his hair dripping. The sunlight kissed his wet skin, making him look sexy as hell.
“Oh come on, Pretty Boy, you afraid of a little cold water?” I jeered, swimming off.
I heard a splash and knew that he had dived back in; seconds later he grabbed my ankle. I laughed as I tried to carry on swimming, but he just pulled me back to him. I turned around and splashed him in the face, which just started a splashing war. It was fun and I hadn’t had fun for years. His easy smile and the beautiful surroundings made me feel more relaxed and unlike the uptight, frightened girl I had become. I felt younger somehow.
After a while, my teeth started to chatter noisily and my body was shivering uncontrollably. “Come on, let’s get back to the dock and get dried off before we get hypothermia,” he suggested, turning his back to me.
I quickly grabbed around his neck and wrapped my legs around his waist so I was on his back. “I’m too cold, you’ll have to carry me, tough guy,” I joked through my chattering teeth.
He laughed quietly but didn’t protest. As he swam for the dock I could feel his warmth seeping into my skin from everywhere our bodies touched. When we got to the dock, I climbed off his back and forced my shaking legs to climb the ladder. Picking up the two fluffy towels, I wrapped one around my body and turned, holding the other out towards him.
When I laid eyes on him, my stomach dropped into my toes. He was just pulling himself out of the lake. The water was running down his goosebump-covered body, and I secretly envisioned rubbing the towel all over him. Actually, screw the towel; I want to rub my hands all over him…
“Great idea, Anna, swimming in the lake. Next time let’s go to a pool,” he suggested, roughly rubbing his hand in his hair, flicking droplets of water everywhere.
I laughed awkwardly at the thoughts that were playing out inside my head. All of them involved me being about three feet closer to him. “You were the one who chose the lake. We do have a heated indoor swimming pool and a Jacuzzi. If you wanted that then you should have said,” I countered, grinning.
His mouth popped open in shock. “Damn it! You have a heated pool yet you’ve just made me swim in icy water?”
“Oh yeah, but where’s the romance in a heated pool, huh?” I joked.
He closed the distance between us and took his towel from my hand. A sexy smile tugged at the corners of his mouth as he twisted it in his hands before looping it around the back of my neck, pulling me closer to him. I gasped and stiffened, shocked by the close proximity. My heart was beating way too fast as he leant in even closer, my stomach was clenching. It was one thing for my mind to play out a little fantasy of our bodies pressing together, but now that it was real and I wasn’t in control, I started to panic.
As his mouth inched towards mine and his breath blew across my lips, I jerked my knee up towards his groin. Obviously predicting my strike, he jumped backwards, laughing to himself as he avoided my blow.
“You’re right, a freezing cold lake is much more romantic,” he agreed, still chuckling to himself. My breathing started to slow down, my heart rate returned to normal now that he was further away from me.
“You’re an idiot,” I muttered, taking his towel off my shoulders and throwing it at him. He grinned and caught it effortlessly, rubbing his hair with it, making it stick out at all angles while I pulled on my clothes over the top of my damp swimsuit.
“You ready to go?” he asked finally, picking up his folded clothes and the bag containing empty wrappers from all of the food he’d consumed.
“Yep,” I confirmed, climbing into the boat.
He rowed on the way back and I closed my eyes, leaning my head back, enjoying the last of the sunshine. I’d had a nice day. I hadn’t thought that for a long time.