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Nothing Left to Lose by Kirsty Moseley (12)

Chapter Twelve

 

 

I cracked my eyes open, wincing as the light from the window made my eyes sting. I squeezed them closed again and rolled over, almost falling out of the bed as I was so close to the edge. Groaning quietly, I suddenly realised that Ashton wasn’t snoring, or even breathing heavily. Frowning, I peeked over the edge of the bed, only to find that the place that he’d slept was now empty, his pillow and makeshift blanket folded and placed on my dresser chair. My eyes flicked to the alarm clock, it was only just after seven thirty. I groaned in frustration. I would have definitely preferred to sleep in longer than this! A small folded piece of paper on the side next to my alarm clock caught my attention. My name was scribbled on the front in typical boy’s messy handwriting. I reached for it, opening it eagerly, already wondering why he’d gotten up so early.

 

Anna,

I went for a run in the gym to build up my stamina.

Ashton

 

A small chuckle escaped my lips at the stamina comment. I flopped back against the pillows and stared up at the ceiling. Today was my last day here because tomorrow was the scheduled trip to Arizona, ready to start my new school on Monday. There was nothing I wanted to do today, so I nibbled on my lip thinking of how I could whittle away the hours rather than having to spend time with my parents. If I kept myself busy then I wouldn’t have to see them behave awkwardly around me all day while they tried to pretend like they understood how I was feeling. I hated that.

The only thing I could think of was something that Ashton had said yesterday. Shooting practice. Maybe if I was there with him and he was teaching me how to use a gun in a safe way, I would finally get over some of my fear of them. I wasn’t stupid enough to believe that it would ever go away, I just wondered if him teaching me the basics of shooting might stop the complete blood-curdling terror from taking over whenever I came into contact with one. There was only one way to find out.

I sighed and pushed myself out of bed, needing to get this over with early if I was actually going to be able to go through with it. My nerve would deteriorate the longer I left it, so I needed to set the wheels in motion before it fizzled out altogether.

Stepping into my en-suite bathroom, my gaze landed on the mirror. The girl that looked back at me was unfamiliar and so incredibly different to what I’d been used to seeing for the last three years. My eyes had lost the tired look that they always had, probably because since Ashton came here, I’d slept better than the last three years put together. My skin looked like it had more colour, my posture wasn’t as tight and defensive as usual. I smiled, perplexed that one person, and of course, some sleep, could make me feel and look so different.

I decided to try out how it felt to wear normal clothes. At least if I tried it out here and couldn’t cope, then I could pack my usual stuff before we left. Not bothering to wash my hair again, I straightened it using the straightening irons that my mother had bought me two years ago that hadn’t even been removed from their box. Afterwards, I looked through my closet for a solid five minutes before choosing a pair of cropped, fitted jeans, a fitted red shirt and a pair of red open-toed heels. When I looked in the mirror again, I looked even less like the girl that I had come to associate myself as. I wasn’t sure I liked it.

Knowing I needed to take the plunge before we left, I pulled back my shoulders and raised my chin, trying to fake confidence as I left my room and headed downstairs. I didn’t pull it off.

As I passed the entrance to the gym, I could hear the sounds of feet thumping on the treadmill. I smiled and slipped inside, seeing Ashton running with his back to me. He was jogging steadily in just a pair of black shorts. Sweat ran down his back and wet the hair at the nape of his neck. I gulped as I watched the muscles in his legs and back tighten with each stride. I couldn’t take my eyes off him.

He was just slowing down, so I waited until he’d come to a stop before I spoke. “Hi,” I chirped, smiling and trying not to blush and let on to the fact that I’d just been watching him with lust-filled eyes for the last couple of minutes. He spun around as if I’d made him jump. The shock was evident on his face as he stared at me with his mouth hanging open and his eyes wide. “I didn’t think I was supposed to be able to creep up on you. I thought you were supposed to be some badass SWAT guy. Maybe I put too much faith in your ability to protect me,” I teased, leaning on the doorframe, crossing one leg over the other.

“I… I…” he stuttered weakly as his eyes raked over my body slowly.

Oh, he likes my new clothes! “You… You… what?” I asked, grinning.

He blew out a big breath and shook his head. “Shit, Anna, you look beautiful.”

I blushed at the compliment. “Um, thanks.”

“I’m not kidding. Damn. I think I’m gonna need to buy another gun,” he shrugged, finally dragging his eyes up to mine.

“Another gun?”

He nodded, grinning at me wickedly. “Yeah, looks like I’ll need the extra bullets to keep all the guys away from you next week.”

“Well, thank goodness I have a badass boyfriend then,” I joked, picking up the towel and throwing at him. “You have any plans for today? I’ve thought of something for us to do, if you’re not busy.”

A sceptical, worried expression crossed his face as he winced. “Please tell me it doesn’t involve walking around any more clothes stores,” he whined.

I couldn’t help but laugh at his begging voice. “No more clothes stores,” I confirmed. I swallowed around the lump that was rapidly forming in my throat. “I was actually thinking that you could teach me how to shoot, like you’d said. There’s a shooting range that my dad goes to sometimes. It’s about an hour away, I think. We could go as soon as you’re ready.”

His eyes widened as he walked over to me, reaching out and setting his hand on my waist as he bent and looked straight into my eyes. I could feel the heat from his hand seeping into my skin through my clothes. I gulped at the intimacy of this small touch. “I thought you didn’t want to do that,” he whispered, eyeing me worriedly.

“And I thought you said you wanted me to learn,” I countered. I didn’t want him to talk me out of it now. I’d been psyching myself up to it for the last half an hour. “It’ll be fine. If it gives me nightmares then my big, bad bodyguard can protect me,” I teased, grinning. He smiled at me cockily. “I may have to pay Dean overtime, but I’m sure he’ll be up for it,” I added quickly.

He snorted and rolled his eyes playfully. “You’re gonna let Dean in your bed? Can’t see that happening,” he replied, grinning mischievously as he tickled my waist. I wriggled and twisted out of his grasp, laughing uncontrollably. I had a very ticklish spot on my ribs, and it appeared that he’d just found it.

He laughed and stepped back, letting his hand drop from my side. “I should shower. Why don’t you go have some breakfast and then I’ll meet you in there in a bit,” he suggested. I nodded in agreement, and headed out of the room, holding the door open for him to walk through too. He shot me a little smile as he walked in the opposite direction to me.

As I stepped through the door to the kitchen, I groaned inwardly and wished I’d skipped food today. Both of my parents were sitting at the breakfast bar sipping coffee. They stopped talking and looked up at me as I walked in.

I forced a tight smile. “Morning.” I kept my greeting short, not wanting to instigate a conversation with them.

“Annabelle, you look beautiful!” my mom gushed. “Did you get that shirt yesterday?”

I nodded, frowning as I strutted to the coffee pot and poured myself a cup. Did everyone know my every move? “Yeah. I got a few things to take with me to the new school. I spent on the credit card, hope that’s okay.” Too late if it wasn’t. Maybe I should have asked first…

“Of course it is. It’s your allowance, you never spend it,” my dad answered. I turned back to see him smiling at me – a genuine smile. I hadn’t seen one of those for a long time. Generally our relationship could be classified as ‘strained’ so I never really saw them smile much around me anymore. I could see the hopefulness in both of their eyes. Clearly they were reading something into the new clothes. I hated the little, meaningful smile they exchanged because they thought I wouldn’t notice.

Roll on tomorrow, so I can get the heck out of here!

I pulled out a stool at the end of the breakfast bar and sat down, pulling a bowl and box of cereal towards me. The air was thick with awkwardness, and you could probably cut the tension with a knife as I sat there with them. It was probably strange for both of them to be sitting here having coffee with a daughter they had all but been estranged from for the last three years. It appeared no one knew what to say.

Needing to break the silence because it was practically deafening me, I cleared my throat and said the first thing that popped into my head. “Agent Taylor is taking me shooting today.”

My dad’s eyes widened as he regarded me quizzically. Either because I’d volunteered to start a conversation, or because of the topic. “Oh really? I didn’t know you had an interest that that kind of thing.”

“I don’t. Ashton thinks it’ll be good for me,” I replied, shrugging and focussing on pushing my cereal around my bowl with my spoon.

“Well, maybe it would be a good idea,” my dad agreed. I could practically hear the cogs of his brain ticking over, trying to work this all out and read things into it. “I’ll put in a call to a friend and have you some guest passes ready so you don’t have to join and fill in paperwork.”

My mom chimed in then, asking my dad when the last time was that he went shooting, and thankfully the conversation required little to no input from me, so I sat quiet and chewed on my cereal, silently willing Ashton to hurry up.

After ten minutes I was all but ready to run from the room. Talk had been sparse, and the uncomfortable atmosphere had gotten so bad that I could barely sit still. When Ashton strutted into the kitchen, dressed and smiling, I practically jumped out of my seat and breathed a sigh of relief.

“Hi, you ready?” I asked hopefully.

“Er…” he looked from me to the food and back again. My heart sank. I’d had enough and needed to leave. “Yeah, sure.” He turned to my parents and smiled politely. “Good morning, sir, ma’am.”

I reached out and snagged him a bagel and an apple before stepping to his side and holding it out to him, praying he wouldn’t suggest we eat it here. “Let’s get going then, it’s a little way away.” He smiled sympathetically and nodded, before leaning over and picking up a granola bar too. “Bye. See you at dinner,” I said to my parents, knowing that I would never get out of my last dinner before leaving.

Ashton bid his goodbyes as I was walking out of the room. I breathed a sigh of relief as I rolled my shoulders, turning to look at him as he bit into the bagel eagerly. “Thank you. That was… awkward.”

He grinned. “No problem.”

As we walked, I slipped my hand into his, partly because I wanted more practice at the fake boyfriend thing ready for next week, but mostly because I just wanted a little reassurance that everything was okay. I was extremely nervous about going shooting. He turned to face me, a smile twitching at the corners of his lips.

“What?” I asked, confused.

He lifted our hands, grinning. “That’s the first time you’ve taken my hand.”

“Um… Yeah, I guess it is,” I admitted, squeezing his hand gently, willing him not to push the subject further. When we got to the carport, I pulled my car keys from my pocket, tossing them to him and nodding towards the driver’s side of my Aston Martin again, watching as his eyes widened in delight.

“Hell yeah!” he cried, grinning from ear to ear.

“What is it with boys and cars?” I mused. “Hey, that reminds me, we’ll have to buy a car when we get to Arizona. Unless you want them to arrange one for us.”

He opened the door for me. “Never thought about that.” He popped the rest of his bagel into his mouth before walking confidently around to the other side of the car and climbing in.

“What sort of car do you want?” I wasn’t really into cars, as long as I got from A to B, that did me.

He shrugged. “I don’t know. Something we can both drive.”

“I can see you in a Porsche or Ferrari.” I narrowed my eyes, picturing him getting out of a little, sexy sports car. I bet that would be a good look for him!

“Ooh, how about one of those yellow ones from the transformers movie?” he joked.

“You do know it wouldn’t turn into a robot though, right?” I countered, poking him in the ribs.

“Aww man, really?” he frowned, faking disappointment. We laughed for a few minutes while I searched for the shooting range on the GPS. “Do we really need to choose a car?” he asked after a few minutes, when we’d finally gotten going. I nodded in confirmation. “Okay, how about a four by four then. You’ll drive that, right? They’re nice and safe. If you have an accident, you can pretty much just drive over the other car.” His face was serious and thoughtful.

“Are you saying I’m a bad driver?” I gasped, faking hurt.

He laughed and nodded. “Yeah.”

I rolled my eyes and shrugged. “Whatever. Like I said, you choose something you like. You can be my glorified chauffeur considering you’ll come everywhere with me anyway.” Then I had a thought, was he planning on coming everywhere with me? “Hey, what happens if I have a ladies appointment?”

“Ladies appointment? Like what?” he questioned, glancing at me curiously before concentrating on the road again.

Is he seriously going to make me spell it out? “I don’t know, a waxing or something like that,” I muttered, embarrassed. I forced myself to go for a bikini and leg wax every few weeks because sometimes the paparazzi liked to stalk our house and take shots for magazines. Especially with the election coming up, they would be all over my family soon; hopefully I would avoid all of that though being at school.

“A waxing? Why couldn’t I come with you?” he asked, raising one eyebrow, looking like a little, confused puppy dog.

“Ashton, seriously?” I scoffed, shooting him a warning face. There was no way I was standing for that; I drew the line at that one.

He sighed in defeat. “Okay fine. I guess I can’t really do things a boyfriend wouldn’t do, so for things like that, you’d have to take Dean with you and get him to stand outside the door,” he explained, shrugging.

That was what happened now, a guard waited in the car for me outside the building. “Outside the door? Well, what happens if the lady tries to kill me with hot wax?” I asked with mock horror.

“Don’t start me worrying about that or I will come with you to your appointments,” he replied, smirking.

“Oh shut up! Why can’t I just go on my own? Nothing will happen at a beauty salon, for goodness’ sake. I think you’re taking this job way too seriously. So what if my dad needs to beef up his security because of the election, no one’s seriously going to attack me,” I scoffed, frowning. This whole thing was just stupid. He didn’t say anything, so I looked over at him; he was frowning at something and looked a little unhappy. “What’s wrong, Pretty Boy, cat got your talented tongue?” I flirted, and then blushed at what I had said. Oh man, did I really just say that? I turned towards the window and bit my lip to stop the giggle escaping at the obvious slutty comment I’d just directed at my bodyguard.

He burst out laughing. “Damn it, Anna, will you stop making me laugh? I’m driving!” he scolded, trying to be serious.

“I apologise,” I said, still giggling. I glanced over at him, and he gave me a wicked grin and winked, making my face burn even more.

 

Despite the GPS, we still got a little lost on the way there so it took well over an hour before we pulled into the shooting range parking lot. The anxiety and worry had been building inside me the whole ride, so by the time he cut the engine, my stomach was churning so much that my cereal was threatening to come back up.

Dean’s car pulled in and stopped beside ours, but he didn’t bother to get out. As far guard, he was just to wait outside the building in the car and be on call to jump in and save the day if he was needed. Ashton smiled at me encouragingly as I forced myself to climb out of the car and look over at the large, and incredibly intimidating, brick building.

As soon as the door to the place opened, the noise made me want to run. There were already a few people inside, so a gunshot sounded every couple of seconds. Each shot made me squeal and press myself against Ashton’s side as he spoke to the assistant and signed us in with the guest passes my father had arranged. Ashton was handed two black trays, and I could see a small handgun in each one as the assistant led us over to the last two lanes in the building.

My heart was crashing in my chest, and my breathing was shallow. I didn’t take my eyes off Ashton the whole time; it felt like if I kept him in sight I would be okay. Once the assistant guy had left, Ashton turned to me and pushed some safety glasses onto my face before snapping a thick, heavy pair of headphones over my ears. Sound was instantly muffled, but I could still hear the gunshots ringing out in the background.

He gripped my hips, guiding me to turn and face the right way. Stepping close to my back, his arms circled around my waist as he clamped my back against his chest. “It’s alright, Anna, I promise,” he said loudly so that I could hear him through the huge ear defenders.

I pressed harder into Ashton’s body, wanting to melt into him as another shot rang out somewhere in the building. I was struggling to stay in control. Deep down, I wasn’t sure I could do this. My eyes locked on the black and white target of a body that was in front of me but about twenty feet away. There was a target on the centre with circles spreading outwards with little numbers in so you could obviously keep track of your progress.

He gently lifted one of my ear defenders off my ear, resting it on my cheek before his hands closed over my shoulders, squeezing supportively. “Okay, Baby Girl,” he said. His voice vibrated against my head, making the hair on the back of my neck prickle.

Wait, did he just call me baby girl?

Reaching out, he gripped one of the hand guns, holding it out in front of me. I groaned and shied away from it, pressing back into him further. “It’s fine,” he promised. With his other hand, he took mine and placed the cold metal into my hand before forcing my other hand around it too so that I was holding it. His hands stayed firmly wrapped around mine. A pitiful whimper left my lips. “Do you know where the safety is?” he asked. Forcing myself to look at the killing machine in my hands, I spotted a small button on the side of it. I pointed it out with my thumb, taking a wild guess. I didn’t bother trying to talk, my mouth was too dry; I knew nothing would come out if I tried to speak. “That’s great, Anna,” he purred in my ear. His praising, sexy voice almost distracted from the deep down terror that had practically consumed me – almost, but not quite.

Ashton then proceeded to give me a brief overview of how to line up my target and sight it properly; he went on and on about how I was supposed to squeeze the trigger, not pull it – which actually made no sense to me at all. Apparently, the gun would jerk in my hand a little when I shot it, so I had to expect that.

By the time I was ready to start, my breathing was coming too fast, and my heart was racing. He put my headphones back into place and then guided my hands out straight in front of me, still pressing into me from behind.

“Okay, click the safety off when you’re ready, and then go,” he instructed, holding my hands tightly on the gun. A long groan escaped my lips, but I moved my thumb regardless and clicked off the safety. When I squeezed the trigger, the gun did indeed jerk in my hand. I squealed and jumped at the sound and the fact that I’d just shot a gun. “That was fantastic. Go again,” he encouraged.

As I squeezed off another shot, it dawned on me that it wasn’t quite as bad as what I had been envisioning. After a couple more shots, Ashton took the gun from my hands, prising it from my stiff fingers as he clicked the safety back on.

I turned to look at him over my shoulder, chewing on my lip.

“That was great!” he cried excitedly. “You wanna have a go on your own?” he offered, raising one eyebrow.

“Okay,” I agreed hesitantly. “But don’t leave me.”

He shook his head, raising his hand and crossing one finger over his heart. “I won’t, I promise.” He nodded back towards the target and held the gun out to me again. I gripped the gun, turning towards the target, trying not to notice that my hands were shaking. Once his arms encircled my waist, I closed my eyes, taking deep breaths. “Whenever you’re ready, aim, take the safety off, and then go.”

I concentrated on the safe feeling I felt with his arms around me like that; I focussed on the heat and hardness of his body as he held me tightly. Finally, my nerves subsided, so I took a deep breath and pointed the gun.

After four shots the gun was empty so he took it from my hands. I breathed a sigh of relief and felt my shoulders sag forward as I smiled, more than a little proud of myself for overcoming my fear like that. It was all because of Ashton though. I knew there was no way I would have even set foot in this place if he weren’t with me.

“I am really proud of you for doing that,” he said, bending forward and planting a soft kiss on my forehead. I gulped, feeling my smile grow even bigger because of his praise. “Want to see how you did?” he offered, pointing to a button labelled target recall on the side of the booth we were in. I nodded eagerly and pressed it, watching as the paper target slowly made its way to us, on the little overhead track. Ashton smiled at it happily as it stopped next to him. I’d shot twelve shots in total. Nine of them had actually hit the paper, three of them were even on the shape of the body which I was surprised about. I hadn’t thought I’d even hit the paper with my hands shaking like they were. “A few more times and you’ll be a pro,” Ashton joked.

“Are you going to have a go? Or are you scared you can’t match my awesome skills?” I teased. I would actually quite like to see him fire a gun for some reason, maybe the horrible images would be replaced if I saw him do it.

He shook his head quickly. “Not today. Another time I will. I think you’ve been in here long enough already,” he answered, picking up the gun and setting it, along with the extra clips we’d been given, into the black tray. “We should probably get going.”

I nodded in agreement. That was probably a good idea. I didn’t want to push it too far today and end up suffering the consequences tonight when my nightmares took over. Taking off my ear defenders and goggles, I dropped them into the tray too.

“I’ll have you shooting like a pro by the end of my eight month assignment,” he said as we walked to the reception desk to sign out.

I scoffed and shook my head. “I’d be happy just to get all of my shots on the paper by the time you leave.” Actually, I’d be happy just to be able to hold a gun without my hands trembling dangerously.

As we walked out of the building and got in the car, I spotted Dean still sitting in the same spot. The boredom was easy to see on his face. Ashton nodded at him as he held my door open for me to get in. “It must be a really tedious job, being a far guard. I mean, he’s always on his own, sitting around waiting for me,” I mused once Ashton climbed into the driver’s side and started the car. I actually felt a little sorry for Dean; he must be bored senseless watching me all day.

Ashton shrugged, pulling out of the parking lot. “That’s his job. He gets paid for it.”

A sudden thought occurred to me. “Do you get any extra money for looking after me? I mean, you’re basically on duty for twenty-four hours a day, right? So are you getting double pay or something?”

A smile twitched at the corner of his mouth as he drove. “Nope, but I get the pleasure of your company, which is something I would gladly pay for. I actually think I’m doing them out of something,” he answered. I blushed and shook my head, not knowing what to say to that. Thankfully, conversation flowed easily after that as he started telling me about his best friend, Nate Peters, who was apparently a bit of a ladies’ man. Ashton assured me that if I ever met him that he’d try to get me into bed.

“So how does he get all of these women then?” I asked, grinning after hearing a tale of Nate scoring with three women in one night – and then it turned out that two of them were sisters, so he gotten a drink poured over his head.

He smirked in my direction. “It’s the uniform. Girls like the uniform.”

“Ahh.” His meaning was clear. “So you score in yours too then I bet.” My mind flicked back to the photo I’d seen of him in his uniform. He was right; the uniform was a definite pantie-moistener.

He shrugged awkwardly. “Sometimes I guess,” he admitted.

“Did you bring it with you?” I asked. Immediately my face flooded with heat as my insides squirmed with embarrassment at asking that question. Holy shit, Anna, you are on fire today!

He grinned. “Why, do you want to see it?” he flirted.

I gulped; the answer to that question was ‘heck yeah’, but I refused to admit it. “Sure, why not. I can handle it, I have considerable self-control,” I lied, shrugging.

He chuckled, grinning wickedly. “Yeah, much to my disappointment.” He shook his head. “I didn’t bring it. I’m undercover, remember? I’ll show you some other time if you want,” he offered, turning back to watch the road. Oh heck yeah, I would certainly like to see him in that uniform! I didn’t say that though, and quickly changed the subject to his shooting.